We need more saints who did things like drive backhoes and use tools and work in zoos and fire off cannons.
Peony, on a more “mature” level, I see the same problem with my husband. There are no men in the Churches. There are like none in the Novus Ordo Churches in Albany except odd, pasty androgenous men, and in the TLM, many are weird. There are some guys, very few in our age group, but no way in proportion to the amount of women.
Many of the teenage boys at Church are attracted to my husband because I think he looks like a regular guy you would see anywhere. It tells me this is a ministry we could use.
I think if my husband had some more Catholic companions that were just regular guys, that would encourage him in his faith.
I could simply invite you to our parish in Ann Arbor, where there are lots of men, or even invite him to join us on our next men’s retreat (which unfortunately will not be for almost a year). It might be more useful to point out that there are a number of movements and ministries specifically for men. The Archdiocese of Detroit has a very active one going. You can see a link to it here: http://www.aodonline.org/StJohn/Faith+Support+Groups+7295/Men+s+Fellowships+7303/Catholic+Men+s+Fellowship+-+Who+We+Are.htm.
They just had their second annual conference, which was well attended by lots of “real men” from all over the Detroit area. Perhaps they could help him put together something like this in Albany.
Perhaps they could help him put together something like this in Albany.
I wish, but they would never allow such a thing here. You are lucky.
Dear Pansy,
You are absolutely correct. It makes a tremendous difference in the entire tone of a place when there are “men-things” (even if they are things that don’t really appeal to me).
For example, one father here often mentions football in his homilies–it’s a small thing, but it makes a tremendous difference. We have a very active men’s group that do things like sponsor Father/Son golf tournaments as fundraisers, etc.
The problem that then occurs is that men often see their roles as the Marthas of the church world, and if you’re a Mary, you don’t count for much of anything. However, even this situation is preferable to that in some Churches I have been in where everything seems a bit fay and ethereal–androgynous is the word I think you used.
shalom,
Steven
The men (who don’t look like they’ve been dragged there by their wives and are mentally elsewhere) are generally normal-seeming here. Maybe that’s because there are more normal-seeming priests under the age of 60 in this area.
There was an excellent article in this March’s Crisis magazine called Victims on this subject. With the abuse scandal this problem will only get worse since we will prevent men from working with boys.
I read that, and it hit home.
MIght I suggest cursillo? My husband met some wonderful men through cursillo, and he now meets with them every couple of weeks for prayer and whatnot. Real men. In his age range.
I second the Cursillo suggestion. But I do have another suggestion. Has your husband considered the diaconate? You mentioned that some of the teenage boys seem drawn to him, and that it could be a ministry put to good use. I agree, with or without the diaconate. But if he did become a deacon, it may encourage teenage boys to become deacons or priests by seeing his example. Of course, this should not be his sole reason for becoming a deacon, but it was just a thought I had.
I’d think he’d be able to find some normal male companionship among other deacons, then, too.
Again, I could be way off on this, it’s just the suggestion that occurred to me.
Nathan,
First, diaconate formation in this diocese is wretched.They are the antithesis of just what I am talking about here. My father is a deacon in this diocese, and his ministry is very limited because he is orthodox. Second, as Mr. Riddle pointed out, my husband is more of a Mary. While the teens are drawn to him, it is not because he feels in any position to be a leader, but because he is just a non-distinct guy. Third, my husband is not very strong in the faith. He would never go to a retreat unless I forced him. I think if the Church attracted rather than repelled just regular guys, maybe this would be different.
While here, in the Archdiocese of Chicago, men are not exactly crowding the pews, we have a fairly good amount of them at mass, and of all ages, many without women dragging them, and none of them particularly androgynous. But then we are still an immigrant city, a former center of tough Catholicism (until the death of Cardinal Stritch), and a place where mothers instilled a sense of awe into their sons.
This, in spite of some really touchy-feely priests and our own goodly share of liberal dominatrixes.