Things you just do not want to hear first thing in the morning

Hambet (mournfully): “Mommy, Mommy! My Bob underwear! It’s gone!”
Peony: “Well, where did you put it?”
Hambet: “I put it in the toilet and now it’s gone!”
Well, sure enough, he was not wearing the Bob underwear he was wearing last night, the toilet was running, and there was no underwear floating around. I am still wondering how this could have happened; this particular toilet has a very weak flush. I tried plunging, but didn’t have any success. Oh, how I hope I am not having to call a plumber later today. Please, please, please, let him just have been talking about something that happened a couple of weeks ago. (There had been a toilet training accident, and for some reason the sight of his underwear sitting in the toilet to be cleaned made a big impression — he was talking about it for days afterward; please please please don’t let him have tried it this morning…. )

7 comments

  1. Ohmmygosh, I hope Bob turns up somewhere besides in the plumbing. Or you never worry about it again!
    There are a number of stories that my mother tells me where she thought I was crazy as a child and it used to worry her because she thought that they would have to institutionalise me. When she told me this, I was shocked because I thought I was doing normal kids stuff. But I was a very loud child, and I was very sensitive to things like colors, textures.I had way too much imagination and used to worry a lot about how things felt. Maybe I was crazy.
    Anyway, one of the famous stories that apparently had my mother up at night worrying about having me committed is the famour “Sponge Story”. The story from my 5 year old perspective, I got up in the middle of the night for a bathroom trip and saw my mother’s regular cleaning sponge. For some reason I decided to clean the toilet. I have no idea why but I flushed while I was cleaning the toilet and could not hold onto the sponge and down it went. I got very upset, and I guess here is the crazy part, I was worried about how the sponge might feel getting flushed away. I was also worried that I was in big trouble for flushing the sponge. So I became hysterical and woke my parents up telling them I flushed the sponge down the toilet.I guess I must have seemed crazy to my parents.

  2. I’m sure that ‘Bob’ is gently and serenely decomposing in the septic tank right now … sort of like the sponge story is doing in your memory!

  3. Well, we don’t have a septic tank, we’re hooked up to the county sewer. I hope Bob made it there. The toilet seems to be flushing okay, so maybe we’re in good shape. Good thing his little undies are so small!

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