Two weeks ago, we were assulted with a Homily which has become common place in this diocese about the importance of giving financial support through the Bishop’s Appeal.(Last Sunday’s Homily was about how all Catholic’s should go see The DaVinci Code in good fun). The homilies are usually offensive because they are often arm twisting lectures about how people are just too cheap and if they want to continue receiving Communion, they better give more. Now I do not dispute of giving what you can to help the Church, that is not what my complaint is about. Nine times out of ten, the congregations that were being addressed (that I have seen) were senior citizens on fixed incomes from modest, working-class neighborhoods. The priest of the parish that gave the Homily two weeks ago complained after Mass that “Italians are so cheap” (the congregation is predominately Italian). But also, I don’t give any longer to the Bishop’s Appeal, because the Bishop’s pet project is to take priests out of the Mass. They do not even deny this fact:
Here is a small sample of the programs you support when you make a gift to the Bishop’s Appeal.
The Formation for Lay Ministry Program, a two-year program, designed for the holistic formation of laity as leaders in their parishes. Through the program more than 900 women and men have been trained as lay leaders since it began in 1984.
I think the part that bothers me most is that all the talk of helping the poor, of social ministry etc. etc. (and again, there is no disputing the importance of this), this diocese does little to nothing in helping your everyday person in the pews with everyday Catholic family issues. The Catholic schools lack any kind of faith formation. The CCD programs offer even less.
On a parish level, there is no support for families or seniors. There is nothing social. Just lots of parish councils consisting of the wealthier members of the parish talk, talk, talking about the latest politically correct agenda and how they can implement it. Truthfully, they don’t even get that far as much to implement anything, as much as patting themselves on the back for being “forward thinkers” in the Church.
There is no recognition that the people who do donate are not hoarding money somewhere that they finally relent to giving up because Father yelled at them on Sunday-that these funds just might be a sacrifice.
Then on top of it, there is no representation of the needs of the common parishioner in the agendas.I think in many places the homeschool support group has filled in the gaps for families where parishes fall short. How many times have you heard of help with new baby suppers, or babysitting come from these communities instead of the parish? I am just so tired. I get so jealous when I see Church flyers from other corners of the country that have mother’s groups, that have pedicure night, that have a night where guys can go to the gym and play basketball, where there are Montessori religious Ed classes for small children, or heck a CCD class where they talk about “eating and breaking bread” the whole time and chuckling about how dopey those older Catholics were for wearing white dresses to their First Holy Communions(the list goes on). And yes, I have gotten onto a Parish Council and tried very, very hard to request some of these more simple things to no avail. It has occured to me how much this has worn me down in regards to my faith.
What does one do in this situation? Leave the diocese? Keep hitting that brick wall of going to parish meetings just to get them to open the gym one night a week so the men-folk can play basketball and ignore your family in the process? Or just deal and smile?
Pansy:
Yes, right on.
Our family’s solution was ultimately to find a small urban parish with a solid priest … we have found that this arrangement fits a family like a glove … there are not a lot of formal program in the parish for us, but there is no parish council nonsense, the priest teaches religious ed. himself to the handful of kids in parish, and we believe that we have really injected much needed life into the parish … subsequently many other younger families have joined.
I hate the idea of “parish shopping”, but if your motivations are pure (i.e. looking for an honest place where our Faith is presented correctly) then I think it is perfectly reasonable to do this given these confused times.
I would only resort to “dealing and smiling” as last ditch choice.
I know that the classic “EWTN” line on poor parish life is to “stay and change from within” … which is noble, but I think they are usually giving that advice because they need to. I enjoy EWTN but if someone was to go on Catholic TV or radio and tell people to find a new parish, their bishop would be PO’d and clamp down on the network. On the other hand, someone using a pseudonym can tell you straight that many times you just gotta bail and find a better place.
Except Ned, it’s not a parish here, it’s the diocese.
I can so, so relate. I live in a town with one parish — there are no choices.
Our decision? Focus on the Eucharist only. We are not at the Church for the pancake breakfasts, the heretical buletin board notices (“Reiki and relaxation will be offered…” Called the bishop about that, he threw a fit!), or the parish ministries (which we are consistently left out of because we might pass on our orthodixy!) We particiapte when and where we can, but we don’t fight the battle anymore.
Instead, we focus on the Eurcharist, the other sacraments, and have built our own tiny, informal Catholic community from other people in the parish who truly love the Church and her teachings. There are about five families — all NFPers, all believers in the True Presence. We do BBQs and potlucks and and rosaries and baby showers. We invite others in, hope they come and hang out with us, and we pray for our parish.
We are all sick and tired of fighting with the parish council and priest (liberals) about things we shouldn’t have to fight about in a Catholic parish. We choose our battles very, very carefully now.
That’s my advice — build a tiny community slowly and carefully. Then you have consolation when the parish is driving you bonkers. Love the other parishioners, help them whenever you can, pray for them, but don’t rely on them for things they aren’t providing (and won’t provide to someone who doesn’t agree with their politics), such as community.
Bug hugs to you — I know this can really drag down the spiritual life!
Go trad. 😉
Go trad. 😉
The trads in this diocese have their own weird ageandas that again are agout their own therapy.