Dawn Eden links to this wonderful article from America Magazine about a woman’s intellectual journey from being a pro-choice atheist to a pro-life Catholic. I recommend it, it is an enjoyable read.
Some of the comments made me chuckle. Take for example comment #73 by Tricia Harrigan:
73. OK, abortion is killing a baby; agreed. Not to be
done. But contraception? why is that wrong? Must
one have a baby a year? We were well on that
path, when our third child was born before our
eldest was three years old. We tried the rhythm
method and almost lost our marriage. The scars
remain. Our fourth child was born by choice, and
then I took the pill, which had just become
available. This was the time of Vatican II; we had
great hopes that the church would listen to the
faithful and come to a less ‘all or nothing’
approach to marriage; a commission was appointed to
study marriage and eminent Catholic leaders like
the Crowleys from Chicago were on it. But when the
group presented its conclusions, they were the
wrong ones, i.e. they did not echo the church’s
position, so they were dismissed. What after all
did married people know? So we don’t listen to
celibates on the subject of marriage! A
grandmother of 10, married 50 years.
By Tricia Harrigan on July 6, 2008 at 6:11 PM
I don’t know where to begin. This sounds so Diocese of Albany and so that 60’s generation. This is the generation whose philosophy is closing Churches left and right and watering down the faith.
I suppose I could go on about the abuses of folk music Masses, and stupid “cool” homilies about Bravo TV shows etc. etc, but I will stick to the topic at hand. I don’t understand this woman’s philosphy. I don’t understand my parents or my grandmother or my in-laws. I don’t get being Catholic except in regard to the birth control issue.I totally get how having another child when you are not planning on it is a struggle. But it seems like every time you make a choice to do something right, the immediate consequences seem very difficult compared to the alternative. However, the long term good makes life better.
I don’t get fighting the Church on this issue. It makes no sense to me to say “I am certainly Catholic and I agree in the Church’s wisdom on everything…except this. This is just dumb.” Do they think the Church is being cute and sentimental but doesn’t really mean it on this issue? I used to think they thought they were championing some cause or helping people by saying “you must go on birth control” but all that has happened is the opposite: it has turned people who desire to follow Church teachings and have more than 2 children into a pariah.
People always fall back on the economical reasoning-people should not have too many children that they cannot afford. That sounds logical and makes sense, but I think the philosophy behind this thinking has more to do simply with selfishness. Somewhere in this generation, or the one before, selfishness became a virtue. I cannot tell you how many times I hear people of that generation say things like “I enjoy my things”, “this belongs to me”, “I need my time”, “I deserve This”. It’s like a mantra, and they are used as excuses for reasons why they do not have to come visit their grandchildren on special occasions, or help with families or whatever, as well as simple random declarations of their life mission statements. It baffles me why people are not embarrassed to make such proclamations. If I was simply too tired to attend an important event, I would at least make an excuse. My mother-in-law just two days ago told us we are not worthy to make the 3 hour trip to visit. She has better things to do. For the life of me, I cannot understand how this is fulfilling. I don’t think it is. One of my girlfriend’s mother used to tell her constantly she should have been aborted. Growing up, everyone but her mother took care of my friend, her grandparents, neighbors, after-school programs.The woman dated, partied, finished school and obtained many graduate degrees, and acted in shows. Now that she is grown and her mother is in her fifties, her mother announced to her that her daughter “stole her youth away”. I wish I could say this is so weird and was just her, but it is not. Maybe to this extent yes. Not sure, my husband was a “we should have aborted you” child yet his parents invested no time or effort into raising him. They claim all the time they did, the sacrificed so much. It is OK to say that because it “would have been the right thing for me”.
I am so glad to have many Catholic friends in my generation, who in the very least, abandoned folk music Masses. If I had to sit around with my friends and talk about how great that generation was because of Woodstock and liberation theology, I would lock myself in my closet and never come out.
Seriously, if you’re not reading Jennifer Fulwiler’s blog already, you should be. That piece is the tip of the iceberg…she’s a really, really gifted writer. I wish I could get everyone I know to read her Mother’s Day post.
Thanks Julie,
Peony links to it on our blogroll. I only read it on occasions due to time constraints. Thank you for pointing out this entry. I think it describes in perfect detail in her before life and after life what I was trying to describe with the older generation.
Thank you for the link (and thanks, Julie, for the kind words!) I couldn’t agree more with your thoughts.
How apropos! As a “me-generation” boomer (57) I find my selfish, unhappy sibilings and in-laws’s approach to life appalling. They are affluent and live outside any claim to their Catholic faith.
I understand (though don’t agree with) your views on contraception.
But what have you got against folk music masses? Some of my happiest childhood memories are of my grandmother coming to hear me sing in our parish youth folk choir. Ok, some of the music was atrocious, but no worse than some of the regular hymns — and they were all sung with reverence by earnest young people.
That was a little tongue and cheek, L, well sort of. There is this opinion among that 60s generation that “real people” love guitar Masses. So here in Albany, every high attendance Mass (9.30 am) Mass is music by Rev. Carey Landry. Are you kidding me? When folk music was au courant, these people are grandparents now. They refuse to believe that some of us like traditional Church music or even Palestrina.
It’s this bizarre arrogance about that generation: “we changed everything, we had VII and totally abused it, brought you birth control and abortion and divorced like crazy and put our kids in daycare, now admire us while we do AARP commercials celebrating how we don’t want to grow up yet!”
Hmmmm. I personally think daycare is a pretty wonderful concept, too, for those of us who don’t want to raise our own kids. 🙂
But I see your point about Carey Landry, and can add John Foley (“One breaaaaaaad, one boooooody….”). At the parish in which I was raised (traditional priests who would not allow girl alter servers), we often sang traditional hymns at the guitar mass, which was always the vigil mass, never on Sunday.