So What’s Wrong with AP Parenting?
I have been reading Greg and Lisa Popcak’s Parenting With Grace, (which is an awesome book by the way). On page 13 the Popcaks say:
Divine Revelation that is at least as important as Scripture-Creation itself-which the Church has referred to as the “Book of Nature.”
Why am I bringing this up? I have been as of late going through some major reassesments of my parenting approach. I am in new territory with my older two children, and I am screwing up, not big time, but I am. So I have been reflecting “where” my mess ups lie.
For example, I yell a lot. I do not mean to, I try not to, but I do. I have been thinking “when did I start yelling?” (Before I go on, let me state, this is in no way saying others are responsible for my shortcomings, my shortcomings are my own).
When RoseyPosey was a baby, I worked at a daycare (never again). It seemed cool because I “needed” a job and she could come with me to work. One day when we were trying to leave, PoseyPosey was being an inquisitive toddler and was looking at toys, and mind you, she was only about 18 months. I asked her “RoseyPosey, time to go.” She ignored me and I asked again. While it is hard to describe, I did not feel she was misbehaving, but curious, and it did not bother me. I gave her a minute to put to absorb “time to leave” and when I asked again, she put the toy down and we left.
The next day, a co-worker who was a mother of two teenagers told me I was waaayyyy too tolerant with my daughter and I didn’t put enough “gusto” in my voice. The conversation went on to describe how none of them “put up with anything” from their children and yelled a lot. It was soon after I began my bad habit of yelling.
Now here is finally the point of this blog. There are many times after this, that I was told my instincts were incorrect in regard to mothering. Some other examples would be:
- “You cannot let that baby sleep with you.”
- “Put that baby down or she will never let you put her down.”
- “You need to wean him, he is too old!”
I was very young when I had RoseyPosey (20), so I never trusted my instincts when people gave me advice or more importantly the “right way” to do things.I find myself wishing I put more stock in my instincts because I have to undo bad parenting habits-ones I never would have even considered if not for the “advice” I received. I also wonder at what point instinctive parenting became wrong?
It feels good to know that when God sends us children, He doesn’t just say “here’s a kid, OK, you figure out the rest…” but has wired us with some info on how to raise them. I am actually learning (or relearning) what “feels natural” in regards to my parenting choices are more positive then the ones I am directed to do more often then not.