Venerable John Paul II on marital infidelity:
“The strength of such a (mature) love emerges most clearly when the beloved stumbles, when his or her weaknesses or sins come into the open. One who truly loves does not then withdraw love, but loves all the more, loves in full consciousness of the other’s shortcomings and faults, without in the least approving of them. For the person as such never loses his/her essential value. The emotion which attaches to the value of the person is loyal,” Love and Responsibility, n. 135.
I just stumbled on this site. Lots of wisdom here.
So, the pope seems to be affirming your generous decision to love your husband, and hold onto your marriage. I think he’s right, and you are right. The bond between husband and wife is too precious to cast aside, even when one spouse has been unfaithful, and it is a very mature spouse, with a mature love, who chooses love and forgiveness in such a situation.
I think this is especially admirable in today’s environment when spouses divorce for the most trivial reasons. To take the vows seriously, to stand by them, to forgive and love is courageous, and that kind of love is powerful. It would seem that only good can come from it.
Pansy,
I remember reading something about your marriage being in trouble on St. Blogs a while back. Of course I thought “oh, how sad!”, said a prayer, and went on with my life.
Now, I find myself living with my parents because my husband sent the kids and I away, insisting that he and I will never be happy together. Oh, and he’s been unfaithful, more than once, starting three years ago.
I have three children, the youngest only two months old, and I love my husband. But I am scared to keep hoping and loving because it means that every thing hurts so much.
Anyway, when I saw that the Sleepy Mommies were still blogging I popped over here to see if I could find out what happened to you.
Please email me if you have any wisdom at all to share.
Kate