….you start to wonder about the problem with domestic violence in this country. This also on the curtails of the whole “wifely submission” thread at El Camino Real and of course the whole Terri Schiavo case.
I am a little dismayed lately because in what I have seen in real life, bad relationships, domestic violence (in at least the form of emotional abuse, if not physical) is more common than finding a good man who will love you the way Christ loves His . Many people relate to each other using manipulation rather than love. It may seem way off, but off the top of my head I can say “why not”? Much of my generation was raised in daycare centers as babies, birth control and abortion has reduced relationships to nothing more than self-gratification. It’s all right there in plain black and white to me.
The Church (traditionally) tells us great deal about what is needed for a strong marriage. But what can the Church offer for relationships in crisis? There is a common attitude that a woman who is being abused must leave, end of story. What about the man (or woman) who abuses? Do we just let them abandon one family to start another to abuse again? Fact is, with all the propaganda about awareness, there is not much a woman can do to leave.
Each year, medical expenses from domestic violence total at least $3 to $5 billion. Businesses forfeit another $100 million in lost wages, sick leave, absenteeism and non-productivity. (Domestic Violence for Health Care Providers, 3rd Edition, Colorado Domestic Violence Coalition, 1991.)
It is estimated that 25% of workplace problems such as absenteeism, lower productivity, turnover and excessive use of medical benefits are due to family violence. (Employee Assistance Providers/MN)
If these statistics are accurate, I am thinking I am not doing enough. I wish there was more that could be done in keeping with the Church’s tradition of social justice and stable family life.
It is very hard though because much that is written about domestic violence points to traditional establishments as the Church as the bad guy:
Predictors of Dometic Violence:
The following signs often occur before actual abuse and may serve as clues to potential abuse:..
4.Does he have strong traditional ideas about what a man should be and what a woman should be? Does he think a woman should stay at home, take care of her husband, and follow his wishes and orders?
Institutional Responses:
* Clergy and secular counselors are often trained to see only the goal of “saving” the marriage at all costs, rather than the goal of stopping the violence….
While I may disagree with this statement, there is alot of stigma attached to appearing like your family life is perfect when you are a religious Christian.
Is there more I or we can do?Sigh, one social justice issue at a time I guess.