On reorganizing the kitchen, or, The Misfit Appliance

Let us now consider the plight of the blender, that versatile — but often ignored — appliance. That drainer of current and dimmer of lights; that crusher of ice and that sine qua non of smoothies.
The blender longs to serve. It knows that if only it were accessible, if only its owner, its lord and master, remembered its mere existence, that it would be pressed into service. It longs for the day when its owner sees it and exclaims, “Eureka! Thou, O blender, can help me with my problem of too many ripe bananas!”
But the blender’s power is its undoing. Its service is usually not required daily (unless its owner is on Slim-Fast or a daquiri jag), so it is usually banished from the prime real estate on the countertop, from the august company of the coffee maker and the toaster oven. Yet its heavy base and its tall, majestic vessel often prevent it from being stowed in the lower cabinets.
So the blender sits, ignored but patiently waiting, in the upper cabinets. It knows that it has been forgotten by its owner. It knows that if the owner thinks for a moment about a smoothie or a milkshake, the happy idea will be followed by the grim realization that a smoothie or milkshake will involve remembering where the blender is, finding the stepstool, climbing up to retrieve it, blowing the dust off, realizing that the upper cabinets really do need a thorough cleaning…. The effort, and the oppressive thought of fall cleaning, are too much. The food processor, squat and resigned with its harem of accessories, sees the blender’s downcast countenance and sneers.
And the blender languishes on, forgotten, dreaming of a renovation that will allow him to join the inner circle of elite household countertop appliances….