here. I am frantically busy today and won’t have time to address her objections point by point.
Michelle’s first principle seems to be that breastfeeding in itself is an act that, like defecation, “bodily housekeeping,” blowing one’s nose, and the marital act, should be performed in private.
I believe this premise is incorrect. Breastfeeding is about feeding a baby, and eating is an act that is considered acceptable to perform in public. I wonder if American culture in particular has gotten a little prudish about breastfeeding simply because, with the aggressive marketing of artificial formula, it became so uncommon during the twentieth century. In centuries past, women of means did not breastfeed in public, but they also avoided appearing in public when they were pregnant and even avoided saying the word “pregnant.” (For that matter, they avoided the trouble of feeding and caring for their children at all by hiring a wet-nurse.)
My other premise is that mothers who nurse in public should extend courtesy for others around them and make a reasonable effort to keep things under control.
Michelle brings us the news of an amazing new technology called “bottles.” I addressed that in a comments box but briefly, some nursing mothers find pumping to be very difficult, especially for an occasional outing. With bottles, you have to buy them, clean them, sanitize them, fill them, bring enough with you, make sure the milk doesn’t spoil, warm them when you get there… a different order of planning altogether than choosing a shirt with nursing openings. If the baby drinks only part of the bottle, the rest of it has to be wasted. And, again, what happens if you do all that and still “get caught”?
Bottles are not only an expense and a hassle, they are not always a workable solution. There is a theory of “nipple confusion” that cautions against using artificial nipples or pacifiers at all for very young babies. Slightly older babies may refuse to take a bottle at all, particularly when Mom is there. If a mother has a very young baby or is going to be out and about for a while, there’s also the issue of her breasts getting full.
A mother boarding an airplane got hassled about her bottles of expressed breastmilk and was forced by a TSA official to drink some to prove it wasn’t some dangerous substance. All that to avoid getting hassled over nursing her baby on the airplane, when she could have just excused herself, turned away, latched on the baby, and provided the baby with fresh clean nourishment (and instant relief from the ear pain caused by pressure changes.)
Michelle notes that the Holy Father describes breastfeeding as “an individual and private act.” (emphasis on “private” is hers.) Private doesn’t necessarily mean “hidden from the public eye”; the context of the paragraph seems to indicate private in the sense of an individual or family action, as opposed to a big social movement, so that reflecting on the actions and needs of a single nursing mother can lead us to consideration of large societal trends.
“Think of the children!” Answering awkward questions is part of parenthood. If another little child asks, “what is that lady doing?” and the other parent doesn’t want to get into it (even with a straighforward answer such as “she’s feeding her little baby”) how about “she’s taking care of her baby”? Should anyone who might prompt an awkward question stay home? Then all people who are pregnant, remarkably fat, disabled, extremely tall, extremely short, speak languages other than English, or wear clothing that’s the least bit out of the ordinary should all stay home.
Again, my own experience is that most nursing mothers prefer to seek out a secluded place, but secluded places are not always available.
My father-in-law died when Hambet was three months old. We got an urgent call at six-thirty pm, urging us to hurry to Pennsylvania, as it would be unlikely he’d live through the night. I threw some clothes in a suitcase and we were on the road in an hour. For a week we lived out of a hotel room. I was spending most of the day in the public eye. Was I to pump bottles for eight to twelve hours’ worth of feeding a day (plus keeping them cool, and washing and sanitizing the bottles and the pump at night in the hotel room sink?) Was I to stay home and send my husband off for a week?
How about moms who are on vacation?
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My reply to Michelle, on her blog:
Breastfeeding is an action which is morally neutral; consequently it’s perfectly proper unless a SEPARATE cause of offense accompanies it. I don’t dispute that it’s as well to avoid swinging a bare breast around in public. But if the feeding can be done without exposing parts that ought to be covered, it’s not unacceptable anywhere that bottle-feeding would be proper. There can be no support from moral theology or from canons of courtesy for a person who resents modestly-managed breastfeeding going on in her presence. I have no ax to grind – in fact I rather disliked nursing when mine were babies – but I must say it’s unreasonable to expect accommodation on this point. A mother has far more responsibility to do her plain duty to her child than to bow to views that can’t be regarded as other than idiosyncratic. And, for the record, when JPII talks about things being “private”, he usually mean “pertaining to personal and domestic relations”, not “to be hidden”. He’s a philosopher by training, and (as is often the case with words used in academic philosophy), it’s a term of art with a meaning not identical to that understood in ordinary conversation.
In an effort to avoid repeating myself, I’ll pick out any new objections and answer them in one final (for the foreseeable future) post. Happy Thanksgiving!
As a member of the public, not personally concerned in this controversy since I am not a woman and it has been over 51 years since I was breast-fed, I say: Nursing is a good thing, even in restaurants. Now I might think that in a place where it might make noise and be distracting, such as a theatre or a classical music concert, one might consider taking it to the lobby. But it us neither a repulsive or necessarily immodest activity. I suppose that some people object to breasts as such, but wouldn’t it be better to recall what they are for, not simply objects of sexual symbolism? Honi soit qui mal y pense.
Precisely what I was going to say, Henry (except more than likely not as well written). When I see a woman breastfeeding her baby, I think “it’s wonderful that she’s giving her baby exactly what he/she needs”. My wife told me about a book (I think it was called something like “So that’s what those are for.” or something) that points out the “only real” function of breasts. And now that Davey’s over a year and a half old and still breastfeeding, it’s just so amazingly clear that “those” are for “him”. In a society where 40ft. billboards featuring barely dressed women is the norm, it’s no wonder people think that they’re “dirty”, “improper” and something to be ashamed of.
OMG
I cannot belive that in this day and age folks are still offended and annoyed with a mother, who is covered, nursing in public.
It just totally blows my mind……
the nurturance of infants by their mothers
Preface: I recognize that there are situations, such as adoption, where lactation and natural infant feeding may be difficult if not impossible. For those circumstances, I am very grateful that there is a technology to help these infanst to survive….
the nurturance of infants by their mothers
Preface: I recognize that there are situations, such as adoption, where lactation and natural infant feeding may be difficult if not impossible. For those circumstances, I am very grateful that there is a technology to help these infanst to survive….