Michelle wonders “….why anyone would need to breastfeed in a public restaurant anyway. Certainly doing so is going to hinder your own eating, which is the point of restaurants. Couldn’t you feed the baby before going out to forage in fast-food establishments for your own nourishment?”
This is where many people get confused, nursing is not entirely about nutrition. Nutrition is definately one of the side effects of nursing, but nursing is about bonding and comfort too. Children do not nurse the same way they bottle feed, they nurse and stop, nurse and stop. I often think that once a baby leaves the womb, there is still a long process of the child separating themselves from their mother physically because babies really do not seem to understand right away that they are separate people. Nursing and weaning are a part of that process. People often confuse the two-bottle feeding and nursing while bottle feeding really is a horse of an entirely different colour. It is entirely about nutrition. I think if you never had children or are not in a profession such as a lactation consultant, this is not entirely obvious.
As for going out and being able to put the baby down while you eat-BWAHAHAHA!!!! Good luck! On the other hand I am quite adept at pretending to be an octupus. I amazed ladies at Weight Watchers with my ability to hold Gorbulas on my hip, and put on my high heel zip up boots with one hand and balancing on one foot. Nursing while eating is small potatoes.
Lastly, if you have ever tried to not nurse a baby or toddler who wanted to be nursed, this would cause a much bigger disturbance and commotion than nursing a child in public ever will. If a baby is colicky and screams all the time, a breast maybe the only way to soothe the child. Let’s not even talk about stubborn toddlers. Of course, does Mom really need to go to a restaurant once in a while she still has a nursling? Kyeah! Stressed out Mommies are not a pretty sight.
6 comments
Comments are closed.
I am hesitant to use “it’s more than nutrition” as a justification, because “bonding” seems the fuzziest argument of all. Not from my perspective, but doesn’t it seem that the majority opinion holds bottled breastmilk in public as the sensible option? (Actually, the majority opinion is probably fine with formula too, but I’m fully prepared for a, “Pumps exist, what’s your obsession with having that baby stuck to you?” confrontation some day.)
I don’t like talking about the “bonding” aspect when it comes to the nursing in public thing myself. I think it’s beyond the main point (which is that the baby needs to get fed and that it’s unfair to make a mom jump through unnecessary hoops to nourish her baby.)
As far as the “pumps exist” argument, I would respond that not all mothers can pump well, especially when they don’t pump often. I know I had a dickens of a time when I would try to pump even a small bottle for short separations — it would take me forever to come up with a couple of ounces. If I had had one of those hospital grade milk-extractor monsters, perhaps it would not have been as difficult. But it is ridiculous to expect a mom to invest in one of those hospital grade pumps just so she can go to the mall and not get hassled. Then there’s the issue of keeping the bottles sanitary and cold, estimating how much to put in each little bottle and knowing how much to pump, and so on….
Another thing with pumping is that you lose the distinction between the foremilk and the hindmilk, so that even if the baby is just thirsty he gets the hindmilk from the pumping.
Maybe bonding is a loose argument, but comfort for the child IMO is not. The market is filled with all types of child soothers such as pacifiers and chairs that vibrate that attempt to simulate the nursing experience for the baby. What is wrong with the real thing? I don’t think the main point is simply that baby needs to get fed because babies do not demand the breast simply for food. Yet if it is for food or comfort, they will make it uncomfortable for everyone around them if their request is ignored. I think just about every Mom has a story where they were in public with a squaking baby and someone said “dontcha got a pacifier for that kid?” For most Moms who ecological breastfeed, it is the breast.
As far as pumping, not only is it hard for many women to pump, many breast fed babies simply will not take bottles. For some, trying to stick a latex or silicon nipple in their face that smells like Momma really ticks them off, or at least it did for my children.
Pansy — that’s true, I wasn’t thinking about the needs for sucking and comfort, I was thinking more about the long term kind of bonding. My bad.
trying to stick a latex or silicon nipple in their face that smells like Momma really ticks them off
lol! Hambet hated binkies and was spitting out binkies from the first day of his postnatal life.
Pansy, I actually totally agree with you (and Peony.) I’m just trying to think in “common ground” terms.
“Ecological” breastfeeding and the natural child spacing it usually, but not always, brings, is one of the best arguments for nursing on demand and nursing in public, in my opinion. (I say this as someone who did not eco-bf and whose fertility returned very quickly.)
They persuaded us to give Davey a “special pacifier for breastfed babies” for his mandatory hearing test in our hospital room. The night we got home, my mother and husband were out getting stuff — a pump? And I was all alone with him for the first time, a very upset baby who despite the lactation consultant’s laughable efforts, was getting more and more resistant to nursing. In desperation I got out the pacifier from the hearing test, even though I didn’t want to use pacifiers. Well, he wouldn’t take that either, and we never tried again. It was a good thing he would even take bottles!