God Voids

Last night I was nosing around Lincoln’s blog (Lincoln is Dinka‘s husband and Veronika‘s Daddy) and he has a permalink on the side labeled Haunting photographs and commentary of a motorcycle trip through Chernobyl. I decided to check it out. I think without even describing the site, one can say it is scary what happened there. It amazes me how people have the power to destroy not what we have now, but for generations to come.
When you enter a beautiful, traditional Church, the kind that has marble statues, a huge Suffering Christ behind the altar, the Stations of the Cross, the smell of incense and the Tabernacle obviously on the altar, very often you sense a strong presence of the Lord about you. Then we go home, and some of that diminishes just a little. Not totally, just not as strongly. After all, Jesus is Truly Present on the altar. Then I read about things like Chernobyl, or grosser things like how they found a lot of bodies under John Wayne Gacy’s home, or the recent testimony in the partial birth abortion hearings and it almost seems some places or people or events seem to be almost void of God. Maybe not totally void, but how a lovely Church has a strong presence of God these places seem to be the opposite. It’s like how could the God who created all of us and who has been so good to me have this happen if He was around? I know the answer is of course Original Sin, Free Will and all that, but these events just seem the opposite of God’s beauty and love-like He was never there.
In my world these things do not happen, Deo Gratias. I place a lot of trust in God to keep us safe, keep us clothed, keep our bellies full etc. It may be naive, but I really believe He takes care of myself and my family. I often wonder by what events I have been so blessed to not be someone who lived around Chernobyl in the mid-80’s, a child conceived to be aborted, someone born in Iraq or in a million other less than desirable circumstances. I wonder if my faith in God to take care of us is really God taking care of us, or simply just the luck of the draw that I was born in the time and place I was.
Sometimes I think that since I have it so good, I forget what effects my sins have on the world or just the people around me. Each week I go to confession and confess the same sins. Sometimes while I am on line I get very apprehensive because I went to the same priest last week, and confessed the same laundry list, and here I am again. I wonder if my life were not so good, and I had a true sense of what evil really is, would I not do better? Do not get me wrong, I am not looking for some evil thrill or some event to scare me straight. I am just thinking day in and day out, I make the same mistakes, and as I make them, I never have a sense of what I am really doing. Just going about my business. Many of us do not have actual visuals when we get lazy in our prayers of us insulting God at that moment, or if we get complacent about our housework for the day, we are teaching our children to be lazy in the long run.
Anyway, I would like to do better. I think I say that everyday, but it is true. I would like my home to be a place where God is more present than a God void.