This like totally brings me back (or, Early ‘Eighties Daughter to the MAX!)

So, like, Mark Shea has like all the coolest links today! He has this, y’know, link to this TOTALLY TUBULAR URL that will translate your site into, like, Valley Girl! It sounded, like, so AWESOME! So I totally had to try it out.
Anyway, I thought it was like SO FUNNY because I was like just blogging about the early ’80’s, you know? when I was like thirteen? and that was so when the Valley Girls were in and we would, like, call our friends up and all plan to wear the same color LEG WARMERS to school? And we would all go to the computer lab and program those totally primitive computers in BASIC, I think they were, like, called Apple 400s or something like that. And the rich smart kids with rich smart parents had Apple IIes at home. So, like, between thinking about the early 80s and seeing this site, you know, it totally brought me back. And now I’m realizing that that was twenty years ago, and I am feeling like SO OLD. Bummer.
So, anyway, I was also just thinking that the Valley Girls are like in California and even though I’m not really sure that like Sacramento is, y’know, like in the Valley, ’cause I’m not sure of like the geography and stuff, and I think it’s like in the middle of the state but anyway, wouldn’t it be like SO FUNNY if like Jeff Culbreath really talked like this? And like, all that proper stuff on his blog, and all that grammar stuff, like it was all an act? Well, like, not really an act, because he really wrote it, but like if you got on the phone, and like called him, this was how he talked?
But anyway if I wanted to really talk Valley I would have to say something like oh-m’ gawd! but I hate like even pretending to type that because I would feel like, scrupulous to the max and I would just feel so bummed about getting into that habit because it is like so grody.
Oh, and, like, one of Mark’s commenters has this thing called like the “splendidiser” which like translates your site into this terribly boffo English slang with all these fabulously overused little nuggets of shriekworthy hyperbole. Do run our site throught the Splendidiser — I particularly like the transformation of the sidecolumn, and how it brought us “the shriekworthy Mighty Barrister” and “St. Marvellous! I say, Josemaria Escriva.”

6 comments

  1. Hilarious, Peony. Side-splitting hilarious. And no, you’ve got the wrong valley. Sacramento has Valley Girls, of course — but then we’ve got everything and everybody. Most people think I sound like a Nebraska corn farmer.

  2. eh, it’s all California to me, but I was just pulling your chain on that one, too, Jeff. I thought I could get away with it, since dear Mr Luse had mentioned speaking to you on the phone and staying on the phone.
    I sound like one of those voice-mail robot voices, myself.

  3. lol! So funny, Peony! My sisters actually used the phrase, “like gag me with a spoon.” (But I think…hope…they were joking). I must have just missed “valley,” and just spoke Jersey street slang instead. Nothing to be especially proud of btw.

  4. As a native Sacramentan, let me tell you that we do not talk like that at all. In fact, our dialect is the flattest of California dialects. We have probably the least local color of any regional dialect in the nation, which is why we produce writers.

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