Listened to the Prager show – a conversation on self-esteem, with a few calls from women who felt that they lacked self-esteem because they were stay-at-home moms instead of hard-charging superwomen. Well, they didn’t lack self-esteem so much as they inferred from some great floating amorphous thing called SOCIETY that should lack self-esteem, and they absorbed this through the various means – TV, movies, their skin, etc.
Did you see the latest Supermom pity-party on the cover of this week’s Newsweek? I did, and I didn’t bother to pick it up. I knew what it would say. I really have a hard time relating to women like Anna Quindlen and her rich girlfriends who feel like they should have it all and just feel guilty, guilty, guilty when they don’t — and who think everyone else feels just as guilty as they do!
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I don’t get the concept of feeling guilty for not “having it all?”
I dunno. Perfectionism as described = bad, but I don’t trust secular parenting guides or commentary that much. “Self-sacrifice” is not the problem in these articles. I don’t think being a “slacker mom” is the solution, rather figuring out what’s worth the effort.
I miss KTC. While I do have organic, from-scratch ideals, I appreciated her, “It’s not necessary for salvation” POV on such details of motherhood.
puke.
Darn, I wish you would have read it and given us your view! I am not (yet) a mom, and what I took away from it was really depressing:
1. You try to have both a career and children –> you will be stressed out and miserable.
2. You give up a career for children –> you will be bored, stressed out, and miserable.
Wow, sign me up!!
I’m with Smock, only I said it this way:
Pee-uke
(honest, I didn’t copy. I said it to myself prior to reading the comments, LOL!)
As they say down here in North Cack-a-lackee; they need to figure out whats truly important and get straight with Jesus
I don’t have a big problem with how other couples organise the whole work/family issue. I’m the primary caregiver in our family and do no paid work out of the home and that’s how we like things. I always felt that you can love a career, but a career can’t love you. To my way of thinking, this is what having a family is all about – people to love and be loved by. And this is true for both men and women. Men who get too absorbed in their work miss out as well. All this seems pretty obvious to me. Although, I think in terms of Vocation rather than career anyway. Everyone has a Vocation.
I read the article in it “Perfect Madness” and actually really liked the approach and conclusion. It’s not all about guilt and selfishness. I was glad that she addressed the issue of stay-at-home moms feeling overwhelmed and lonely. I don’t believe in that idolized picture of the ever-giving mom who never wants/needs anything else than serving her children and husband day in and day out without ever taking a break or investing time in other activities or development of talents.
I do think SAHMs need help. The extended family solution is dead for most of us. I don’t think I was meant to raise my child alone at home 24/7. I also don’t think I was meant to give up the possibility to work or the pursuit of some other meaningful activity for the next 20-30 years.
To be honest I find the secular societal pressure to leave the kids and “get a real job” just as suffocating as the christian societal pressure to stay home and suck it up everytime I fall apart because of exhaustion and boredom.