Before I went to seminary, I taught in a public school. Thank God, not as bad as this one in New York. But what I learned there was that the biggest problem in sending your kids to a public school wasn’t the teachers or administrators, but the other kids.
And their parents.
I have to concur. 18 years ago (ahem) when I was this age, I remember my parents being baffled as top why I did not adopt their morals. There were many reasons (besides that their morals were “extreme” to everyone else I was around)but frankly, I simply wasn’t around my parents
Weeelll…. lots of things i could say about that entry. I will keep it short: I am tired of the “ohmygod look at the evil in the world! look at satan there, not look at him over there!” Also, i went to public school all my life and i would’ve had to literally run away from home forever to avoid living within my parents’ moral parameters. Nothing that went on in school and after was as powerful as what I was told to do at home.
Ah Dinka,I knew you’d respectfully disagree with this.
I know very often we can come out sounding like the paranoid Church Lady from SNL, and in that I would agree. But it does not change that (at least in my experience) the public schools are great at endangering children’s innocence, and are not very good at educating-which should be their primary function (especially if you are a minority).
Also, i went to public school all my life and i would’ve had to literally run away from home forever to avoid living within my parents’ moral parameters. Nothing that went on in school and after was as powerful as what I was told to do at home.
This is obvious because of how stable you turned out, but for reasons that I don’t understand, the opposite was true for me. Well, at least some of the reasons why are obvious to me, I was submersed in one culture for most of the waking day. That is the best I could come up with so far after contemplating this day after day.
Also, when I blog about issues like this, I just want to clarify that they are not condemnations of people who send their kids to public school or make different choices. There are lots of kids I know who go to public schools and turn out great and homeschooled kids who are psycho. But I have to say again, from my experience in public schools (which was so incredibly wretched…) these are my occasional thoughts in why I do what I do.
I had many thoughts about the article in question. My high school, while morally vacant in many ways, was nothing like what is described with re: to Stuyvesant. It’s bizarre really. These are what society might label as good kids in that they’re bright, articulate, and college bound. Yet I found the article so depressing. Where are the attachments? These kids are so jaded already, and they’re so young. Their disparaging opinions on marriage and family were just so sad and empty to me.
I have many reasons to homeschool my children, and thankfully, in my area, as far as I’m aware, this isn’t one of them. But, I can see how it can be for some. This scenario is more likely to play out in those artsy public magnet schools or in private prep schools, where all of the children are considered “geniuses” and on the fast track to college. I kept thinking these kids came from affluent families as well. I can’t imagine this playing out in just any high school in the inner city if you know what I mean. What is it about “genius” and moral, spiritual, interpersonal, and emotional distance and vacancy anyway? Weird.
I’m sorry, I later realized my comment was probably pretty unnecessary. I guess all I want to say is that things just can’t be generalized like that in my opinion (“going to public school all day will make a child immoral”). It makes sense we all make decisions based on our own experience as it should be. Neither you nor I can pinpoint why life went for us the way it did, so I really wasn’t trying to make a point there or discuss that in particular. Just can’t stand that generalization… gah! 😉
I was thinking, (too) it all depends on where you grow up and what school you go to. I also got the impression that this was one of those fancy shpansy artsy schools for “privileged” kids. (Well privileged only in the sense that they probably have more money than the rest of us, but obviously, money isn’t everything. For the record, Dani, and Dinka and everyone else here, I think our kids are more privileged then these ones.) My own experience growing up, was that my parents morals were accepted by pretty much everyone as being the “good christian morals”. Even if most people didn’t follow the rules. Noone would have been laughed at if they were abstaining from pre-marital sex. And in fact, it was actually kind of scandalous (or rather, more sensational…) for those from families of higher moral standards to suddenly get pregnant out of marriage.
I think our generation isn’t the same as our parents when it comes to what to expect from government schools. My parents were devout, Catholic parents, but they trusted that the teachers had only the best intentions for us and were of a noble profession that rose above politics, etc.. I think my parents expected the schools to teach us everything and just kind of left it at that, whereas, I believe that I can best educate my children at home and mistrust public school teacher’s motives in teaching our children. This attitude is from experience and not from what I’ve read or anecdotal evidence. Of course, because of public perception of homeschooling, I used to think that people like me were “freaks” (before I had kids!) and anti-social weirdos. Now, I don’t care what people think because once they get to know us I gently explain our choice and to them, it starts to make sense. I find that most people that start out with a bad attitude about homeschoolers just feel a little guilty about not making that choice themselves or feel bad about feeling kind of happy that they get a “break” from their kids during the day and can always blame “the school”, or “the teacher”, or “the principle”, or “the school board” if things go wrong in thier child’s education.
I think our generation isn’t the same as our parents when it comes to what to expect from government schools.
My parents were born in ’49 and ’50. When they went to public school, they were still taught how to do math, science, how to read and write properly. Much of that has gone down the tubes. I attended Catholic school until 7th grade, and I was lucky because I was taught how to read with phonics. Many of my peers who went to public schools at the time were not. I think they have changed that since though.
My parents were devout, Catholic parents, but they trusted that the teachers had only the best intentions for us and were of a noble profession that rose above politics, etc..
I had teachers that told us that if your parents did not believe in masturbation, they were just wrong, superstitious and old fashioned (that was part of the lesson plans). Same with abortion.I had teachers that whined all the time about how white people should not have to give retribution to descendants of slaves (not making a statement about whether I agree or not, but it was not appropriate for the teacher to use class time for this). Don’t get me started…I could go on and on and on…
I find that most people that start out with a bad attitude about homeschoolers just feel a little guilty about not making that choice themselves or feel bad about feeling kind of happy that they get a “break” from their kids during the day and can always blame “the school”, or “the teacher”, or “the principle”, or “the school board” if things go wrong in thier child’s education.
I think this is true for some people, others I think do not trust themselves to eductate their children. Others worry about the socialisation/overprotective/over sheltered stuff. I worry about the last part, but for me it is a choice between one extreme or the other-either throwing my kids to the wolves in the hopes that they learn how to deal with reality (and hope they don’t self-destruct in the process) or letting them be too sheltered. I often say I don’t pretend that homeschooling is the cure all, but it seems like the best option I have out of what is in front of me.
In the meantime, I do enjoy having a sense that the kids are being educated.
It is very important when one is speaking of one’s schooling to indicate when, historically, that schooling took place. I, for example, am of the age cohort of Pansy’s parents, having been born in 1951. My parents were liberals, so I found public school too conservative for my foolishly “enlightened” upbringing. But I would agree that the worst thing about school was the other kids. I was–possibly through my own fault–a regular bully magnet. In the end I left public school after 9th grade and went to a private school. There I got less bullying as well as a more challenging intellectual environment. But morals? I couldn’t say. I didn’t have any morals to corrupt.
My daughter is a junior at a public high school. She went to public school through 5th grade, Catholic school for three years, and then to public school. Her teachers do their best to inculcate secular values in her, but she resists. Her morals get their support from the half-dozen Christian youth groups she hangs around with, as well as such poor teaching as I can give her. She is, moreover, much more socially well-adjusted than I ever was. Some of her friends are, or have been, homeschooled, and they are no better or worse than she is.