Well, Of Course

This heartwarming video of Penn Jillette discussing his feelings about a man who gave him a Bible after a show comes to us from The Anchoress via The Curt Jester. I
In summary Penn states that as an atheist, he has no problem with Christians proselytizing because if they really believe you need Christ to get to Heaven, and to avoid Hell:

“How much do you have to hate somebody to believe that everlasting life is possible, and not tell them that?”

I don’t want to, nor could I add onto the above blogger’s commentary, but rather ask that you read their words of wisdom. However, for me this strongly calls to mind our duties as parents. My 15-year old is now at the age of, well Fifteendom. She is questioning what she has been taught (not without the aid of her new public school teachers). I am not totally perturbed, it happens. Her biggest issues with Catholicism are now raised when she has to get up early Sunday mornings to go to Mass. “Why can’t I decide for myself what religion I want to be?” Mind you, being Catholic is not a problem when it doesn’t mean waking up early on a day off, or when you are celebrating Christmas. So she gets 1/2 a point for the “nice try” bag, and we tell her “get up, get ready, now’s not the time.”
Let me go back a bit to 2001. My husband and I were 27 and 28. There was a new young adult ministry that they were trying to develop in this diocese and my husband and I wanted very much to be part of it. Up until that point, although we met some wonderful family people through homeschooling groups, our children were younger, and we were not that old ourselves. We would have enjoyed being part of events like Theology on Tap. The problem was every “young adult” (ages 18-36) event seemed more like an adolescent event. There was always talk about “someday when you get married and have children.” Um “someday”. 18-36-year olds? I am 36 now and would feel real stupid of someone started lecturing me about “someday if and when you have a family”. Anywho, as a part of this, I asked our Parish, um, what was her title, oh yeah, “Faith Formation Director” (someone on a substantial payroll to do what used to be the work of volunteers) if one night a week we could have a prayer night for married young adults in the parish. I said while we are still young, we face certain challenges in our culture that singles do not face and older couples (post menopausal to put it bluntly) do not deal with. I was told first and foremost I had to attend this Symposium the Diocese was holing on Young Adult Ministry. OK, fair enough.
My husband and I went-it was October 2001, I remember because I was pregnant with my Number 4, Matthew. (I also remember making some Vegetarian Chili in the crock-pot because we had a little home schooling science project pot luck after the fact. Total non-sequitar, I know.) The symposium had only a smidgen of young adults, but mostly aging baby boomers in Birks talking about the way to young adult’s hearts was folk music (another aside, I will never forget when I recapped the events for Peony, she responded “Are you serious? When was the last time Judy Collins had a hit?”) and getting rid of all those constraining Church rules. The last part wasn’t a quote, but we spent the day going from presentation to presentation where people complained about structure and rules.
One of these “discussion groups” was just a complain session about the Sacrament of Confirmation. In Albany, they do Confirmation really screwy. The age they wait to give the sacrament is like 16-17, and it is not done at every parish. The end result is many people do not get confirmed. So there was talk of only getting it done to get married to which a priest emphatically replied that is a Church lie that you need to be confirmed to get married. OK, so what, we should do away with the sacrament? Do this day, I get his point and in retrospect, I don’t think he had one. This turned into a discussion about how parents should not push their Catholic faith on their children, but allow the children to decide if they want to be Catholic when they grow up, then it is more meaningful. Especially since their parents had no idea why they were Catholic, they just were because their parents were and their parents were… Always a great excuse for you not being responsible for your religious life. And not wanting to get up on Sunday mornings.
(Now of course here is where the need for a slightly different group for young adult married couples is needed. My husband and I had been home schooling for about 5 years at that point and made the decision a long time ago that indoctrinating (yes, I do mean “indoctrinate”) our children in the faith was priority number 1 as Catholic parents. We were beyond the point of discussion of “should I get confirmed before my wedding some day, and am I just doing that because my parents are Catholic?” )
I hear this argument a lot, not just from teenagers who do not want to get up on Sunday mornings, but from adults: “you shouldn’t force your religion onto your children, but let them choose when they get older.” This point of view always baffles the heck out of me because it is just like Penn said. I love my children more than anything. It is my responsibility to keep them healthy, well-fed, educated. But most importantly it is my responsibility to teach them that the path to Eternal Life is through the Eucharist. How bizarre would it be to only concern myself with healthy teeth and gums, and career goals for the future, and never concern myself with their long-long term futures when in my own heart, I believe in Heaven and Hell and that the path to Heaven in through The Church? What kind of mother would that make me? I remember that coming to mind right away as I heard early twenty-somethings whine about the horrors of CCD.
The Anchoress said:

Think about it. How many times have you not engaged someone – and not exclusively for the purpose of proselytizing, but on any level – because you’ve simply assumed they are ‘not the sort’ to be receptive to you, or they are ‘one of them’ – the avowed secularists? Is that a sort of passive, impersonal “hate?” When you’ve passed them by, have you stopped to think that everything a Christian says or does, how a Christian comports himself or herself, minute-by-minute, gives endless witness, and so only kindliness will do?
I know I’ve failed in that. Often. Too often.

Me too.
I have lost site quite often about what I originally knew to be my duty as a mother. As a Christian. As a Catholic. I worry more about pushing my children away from the faith by shoving it down their throats. But no, just like they need to clean their rooms, brush their teeth, and eat their vegetables, they have to go to Mass on Sundays. If she wants to go to her girlfriend’s house, she needs to do her schoolwork first; if you want to celebrate Christmas, you need to do the hard part too.
I have become to mired down with things of this world.
I have so much more to say on this, but this entry is becoming too long. Perhaps a Part II in the near future.