My dad’s elder brother John used to enthrall me with this story when I was a kid. At family gatherings, I used to sit on the floor by his chair (on the beer can side, not the cigarette side – he always had both going) and listen to him tell stories until I was told to go play with the other children.
Anyway, this is the story he told every Christmas when I was a little girl. I can’t attest to how truthful it is – John being John – but it’s a good story nonetheless….