Who else but…G.K. Chesterton?
\nThe Song Against Grocers<\/b>
\n(From “The Flying Inn”, 1914)<\/i>
\nGod made the wicked Grocer
\nFor a mystery and a sign,
\nThat men might shun the awful shops
\nAnd go to inns to dine;
\nWhere the bacon’s on the rafter
\nAnd the wine is in the wood,
\nAnd God that made good laughter
\nHas seen that they are good.
\nThe evil-hearted Grocer
\nWould call his mother “Ma’am,”
\nAnd bow at her and bob at her,
\nHer aged soul to damn,
\nAnd rub his horrid hands and ask
\nWhat article was next
\nThough MORTIS IN ARTICULO
\nShould be her proper text.
\nHis props are not his children,
\nBut pert lads underpaid,
\nWho call out “Cash!” and bang about
\nTo work his wicked trade;
\nHe keeps a lady in a cage
\nMost cruelly all day,
\nAnd makes her count and calls her “Miss”
\nUntil she fades away.
\nThe righteous minds of innkeepers
\nInduce them now and then
\nTo crack a bottle with a friend
\nOr treat unmoneyed men,
\nBut who hath seen the Grocer
\nTreat housemaids to his teas
\nOr crack a bottle of fish sauce
\nOr stand a man a cheese?
\nHe sells us sands of Araby
\nAs sugar for cash down;
\nHe sweeps his shop and sells the dust
\nThe purest salt in town,
\nHe crams with cans of poisoned meat
\nPoor subjects of the King,
\nAnd when they die by thousands
\nWhy, he laughs like anything.
\nThe wicked Grocer groces
\nIn spirits and in wine,
\nNot frankly and in fellowship
\nAs men in inns do dine;
\nBut packed with soap and sardines
\nAnd carried off by grooms,
\nFor to be snatched by Duchesses
\nAnd drunk in dressing-rooms.
\nThe hell-instructed Grocer
\nHas a temple made of tin,
\nAnd the ruin of good innkeepers
\nIs loudly urged therein;
\nBut now the sands are running out
\nFrom sugar of a sort,
\nThe Grocer trembles; for his time,
\nJust like his weight, is short.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
God made the wicked Grocer
\nFor a mystery and a sign,
\nThat men might shun the awful shops
\nAnd go to inns to dine….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,8,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-825","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-books","category-commonplace-book","category-fun-and-games","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/moss-place.stblogs.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/825","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/moss-place.stblogs.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/moss-place.stblogs.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moss-place.stblogs.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moss-place.stblogs.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=825"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/moss-place.stblogs.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/825\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/moss-place.stblogs.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=825"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moss-place.stblogs.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=825"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/moss-place.stblogs.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=825"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}