With every major moral dilemma that comes up lately, the media always blasts the “conservative, religious right”. Like many of us, I am tired of it. For a very long time, I have felt the need to distance myself from the image of some of the stranger Christian fanatics that I know. Kind of like “Hi, I’m Pansy. Yes, I’m a pro-life Catholic, but I am not weird. Yes I homeschool, but I am not weird. I am open to life and have 5 kids, but I am not weird.” I think I felt so strongly because I know some really strange people through either homeschooling groups, the Latin Mass or the Internet who fit the bill of the fanatical, non-charitable, judgemental fundamentalist. I wanted so badly to distance myself from that image because there is such a stigma against being too far right. But you know, I spent much of life around many far left people, and from my experience the far left people I know mostly at some point in time personally contributed to the death of another whereas people I know who are too far right are just kind of anal and annoying.
Fact is I am starting not to care anymore. I think the Terri Schiavo case has drawn a line, and if this case has not, there will be more to come in the near future that will. Truth be told, I am not defining myself as anything, I am too busy to do so. But I believe that starving this poor woman to death is murder. I believe abortion is murder. I will continue to say Mel Gibson did a great thing by making The Passion both artistically and spiritually. I see a real moral drought promoted in many of the traditional school settings that is getting worse and as long as I see that I will homeschool. I think birth control is evil. These things make me I guess someone who doesn’t think for themselves, or a fanatical, far right or whatever the buzz terms are so be it. I refuse to apologize anymore and am tired of feeling the need to explain why I feel the way I do.
This world just has done gone mad and like my boy Kanye says, “only Jesus can save us.”
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RIGHT ON! *pumping fist in air*
The fact is that we’re in a period of time right now where we’re under too much attack. I mean, it’s like the popular thing to attack Catholics. Anyway, it’s at times like this where, I like to just take a step back and retreat into fantasy. Don’t get me wrong, I never stop praying, but the fact of the matter is that we need a little bit more light-heartedness or else everything that’s going on in the world will drive you insane. With that in mind, bah weep granna weep ninny bong.
Oh, Pansy- you made my day! I am so grateful to you for putting my exact feelings into words so succinctly. In fact, I am proud of the way we have all stood up for Terri and for life in general- and nothing will take that away from me. No apologies, only proclamations that this is what Jesus wants us to act like, be like, and stand up for…
Pansy, if you’re weird, I’m right there with ya!! You go girl!!!
Don’t let anyone tell you that words are not powerful. The labels you have described have been used to put walls around you and to bind you. Sometimes the words bind us to the expectations of others.
How about simply: “Hi, I’m Pansy and I listen to God’s word”
Too simple? Too harsh? Not when you realize where God’s word leads us.
Keep telling it like it is Pansy. You get weirdos in whatever walk of life you are in.
Keep telling it like it is Pansy. You get weirdos in whatever walk of life you are in.
Keep telling it like it is Pansy. You get weirdos in whatever walk of life you are in.
You said it all….
Yes, ma’am! Here is the sound of a standing ovation from me:
CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP (repeat, repeat, repeat)!!!!!
Go now and read!
…..Pansy’s entry over at Two Sleepy Mommies: No More Apologizing. Absolutely priceless. Absolutely correct….
Sign me up for your club, sister, ’cause I’ll stand with you……
You think birth control is evil? So a married woman who is under doctor’s orders not to get pregnant because she’s being treated with serious drugs that would cause fetal abnormalities is not allowed to make love with her husband because birth control is evil?
Maybe if you weren’t so busy judging and condemning people you don’t even know with statements like “birth control” is evil, others wouldn’t think you’re a crackhead. NFP is birth control, btw – so I guess you’re against NFP, too? Or only other people’s birth control, because the only moral birth control is your birth control.
You make statements like most of the far left people you kow contributed to someone’s death, and you don’t think people are gonna think you’re either so whacked in the head you belong in a home or just dangerous to know?
Here we go – liberals are evil, murderous demons…
But YOU complain when people make generalizations about you. That’s rich.
How about minding your own business, not judging and condemning others, or making assumptions about their personal lives before you start whining and crying like a wuss about how everyone is sooooooo mean to you.
You people take the cake. You think you have the right to condemn a sick woman for using birth control because she and her husband may need each other more than ever during that time, and then you whine and whinge and pout because someone thinks you’re nuts?
Get the —- over yourself. You are not God. You’re not even close. You’re just a selfish, judgemental bitch who wants everything her way and who doesn’t give a damn about anyone else’s life but her own.
What a hypocrite! But you’re Catholic….oh, there’s a surprise…
Ugh, why are tirades always posted by “anon” or “anonymous”? What is it with him, always has such a bad temper, always so mad, but then never available for a follow-up…
Anyway, what I was going to say… I absolutely DETEST the use of left and right and conservative and liberal. I think the very fact of using these terms and categorizing yourself and others under it, is harmful and hurtful and a far cry from anything we call christian. We are supposed to stand up for the truth. Sometimes the “truth” will be part of what is politically qualified as “liberal” and sometimes as “conservative” but those two terms themselves do not indicate ANYTHING truth-related and should be irrelevant to us.
Self-proclaimed far-right or far-left people all have blood on their hands, by performing an abortion or killing a abortion provider, by putting pressure on a pregnant woman or by being too self-righteous to appear approachable by someone in need.
I know what you mean Dani, but please, let’s stay away from the labeling and the political. The media is pushing you in a corner with a narrow-minded label so long until you can’t take it anymore and then say: I don’t care, so I AM what you are saying I am. But you’re not. And they got what they wanted.
Anon is a punk but I get where he’s coming from. The “far left” are individuals, whose story we don’t know, just like we are presented as the “far right”, our identities erased so we can be hated with passion. And we are mad to be all thrown into the same pot and so are they.
It might seem like we are fighting the devil when we proclaim ourselves “conservative” and “right” but actually he’s having a good old time manipulating us around because he likes a good fight, especially in the name of God.
let us pray for those like “anon” who are carrying so much baggage and pain they’ve lost their faith in Love and Truth.
What kind of love and truth condemns and judges people they don’t know with cheap comments like “birth control is evil”?
You condemn people you’ve never met and never will with that statement. You are the cause of others’ pain when you judge them and hold yourselves above them. You assume and assign motivation and categorize and blame and act like you’re God when you say something that stupid.
Birth control is not evil. It’s just a tool. Just like NFP. People can use it for good or for evil. When you say it is evil, you judge anyone who has used it for any reason. You dehumanize them. You act as if they don’t even count in this world.
Of course people think you’re all a bunch of crazy people. You can’t even get your own shit together for five minutes, but you never fail to take the opportunity to judge someone else.
Clean up your own act before you go telling other people they’re evil before you even know them.
From my understanding, Anon, no one on this post has ever said, “people who use birth control are evil”, just that the birth control is evil. There is a difference from judging a person and judging a person’s action. People are by their very nature, good but that does not mean every action of theirs is a good. For example, I think you acted under the best intentions when you wrote in, hoping to inform the posters of the errors of their ways. But the post itself is quite wrong, by the use of profanities (among other things). Does that make you evil? No, by your very nature you are good (I believe) and not even these most offending posts will change that :). So in the Catholic understanding of things, even people who use this evil birth control (which is very different from NFP, as I’m sure others more informed than myself could explain) are not evil themselves, although the act is considered very wrong.
PS: first time here… love your blog and love your comment today!
Birth control is not evil. When you say it is, you say anyone who uses it chooses evil, even when you don’t know why. You’re so mindless you just believe stuff because your church tells you to. You condemn and judge others based on no information at all about them, when you don’t know their personal situation, and you justify all your own actions in your dumb little minds because when you use NFP, it’s okay, but if someone else uses a condom, it’s bad, even though the intent is exactly the same. So when you say any birth control other than your birth control is evil, you pretty much say the people who use it are evil.
It’s all about judging and acting superior for you people, and then when people do the same to you, you get your panties in a bunch over it, even though you’ve made a way of life out of doing to others. That’s total hypocrisy.
I’m not evil. My birth control isn’t evil, any more than yours is. If you REALLY believed birth control was evil, you wouldn’t even use NFP, but you’re hypocrites who are just looking for an excuse to judge other people based on something that’s none of your business. You’d rather see marriages broken up, or people die than let them make a different choice than yours without judging them. You people say you’re about life, but you’re all about death – you kill with your words. You kill people’s spirits and you turn them away from God because you don’t want anyone you don’t agree with to have your precious God. Well, he gets to say, not you. After you’ve killed enough people with your hateful, judgemental words and after you’ve gotten in God’s way for enough people, you’ll have to answer to him for what you’ve done.
Wow, anon, calm down. I think the lady doth protest too much!! Yes, birth control is evil, and it doesn’t matter how many people don’t agree. This isn’t a poll. And the whole “worst case” argument doesn’t hold water with me. All the people I know who use birth control do so because they don’t want to have more kids. They want stuff, money, job advancement, to get in shape, free time. None of which is evil, but they sure don’t hesitate to tell me how crazy I am for sharing my body, time, love and money with lots of kids. Get over yourself already! You say to mind your own business, HA HA HA. You know, I have never once gone up to someone in the store and asked them if they use birth control because I noticed they have a small family. But COUNTLESS strangers have approached my husband and me and asked outrageously rude questions regarding our sex lives. Your anger and accusation are not having any effect other than sorrow for what ever pain you have experienced that has prevented you from knowing love in all its fullness. Praying for you.
Well, what a judgemental little hypocrite you are. If something didn’t happen in your world, it never happens at all, according to you.
I sat in a room full of Catholic cows like you and when the one new girl got up to help in the kitchen, the two fat bitches next to me started whispering about how selfish she was because she only had two children. The truth was she had four. Her oldest died three months after she was born and her second was stillborn. But no one bothered to find out the truth. They just assumed and judged accordingly. So people with small families do get judged and talked about all the time.
Birth control is not evil. Prove it, if you think it is. And prove that NFP is not birth control. You’re controlling the spacing of the births of your children. That’s what birth control is.
And not everyone is on birth control because they want material possessions. Maybe you better start looking for higher quality people to hang out with if that’s true. Plenty of people use NFP for selfish reasons as well, and you can be just as selfish in having children you can’t afford as you can by not having any because you’d rather drive an expensive car. People who can’t pay for their pregnancies and their babies’ medical bills drive up the costs for people who want more children but don’t have them because they’re too responsible and honest not to take something they can’t afford to pay for.
Some people can’t have more pregnancies because of health reasons. Some have real financial hardships like being laid off and not finding work for a long time, or like having to pay off debt because of a long illness and high medical bills. Or they have chronically ill parents to care for, or a chronically ill child. Just because your shallow friends want to buy things doesn’t mean everyone who uses birth control is selfish and materialistic. But that’s what happens when you make blanket statements like “birth control is evil”. Once you say something that stupid and judgemental, you’re forced to believe that only selfish, evil people would use it for selfish, evil reasons. That’s so mindless it’s disgusting.
You don’t know what the truth is about anyone from externals. Only God knows the truth about each of us and knows why we really do things. Only God can judge people. You just want to make up a bunch of stupid rules so you can say you followed them and that makes you a good Christian. It doesn’t. It just makes you legalistic and law-worshippers.
Dear Anon, yes, when some uses birth control, they are choosing an evil. But it does NOT necessarily make the person evil. No one is saying that but YOU. There is a difference between a person’s action and a PERSON. And we cannot judge people, for they could be just like you, ignorant of the Church’s REAL teaching on contraception. You say that NFP is just like birth control because the intent is exactly the same, but this is exactly my point, intent does not justify actions and the pill and condoms act in a VERY different manner than NFP. Also, NFP is supposed to be used only in extreme situations. But I don’t think this is what you are so upset about. It seems your upset about people “judging and acting superior”. So why are you judging and acting superior? Do you know that you are judging when you call someone “dumb” and “hateful” and hypocrites? Come now, do you want to have a discussion (I do!) or just try and fling as much mud around as possible? 🙂
So who’s marriage has broken up because they’ve switched to NFP? Who has died? Really, how can someone kill with words? 🙂 Sure they can sting when not wanted, but you don’t have to listen, you know. “You don’t want anyone to have your precious God”??? This, my friend, is absurd. Take Him!!! Take Him!!! You can have Him! There’s enough to go around! 🙂
PS: yes, anon, you are right. I don’t know everything about the Church (there’s 2000+ years of information here!) I am but a lowly scientist, and quite capable of mistakes (esp. in spelling!) Please, anyone, correct me if I turn from Rome.
How can people kill with words? Your own church speaks about doing this! How can you deny that it happens! Physical death is not the only kind of death. There’s spiritual death, too, and after enough condemnation and rejection and judgementalism, you can kill people spiritually. You can forever harden their hearts to Christ’s message by presenting it in a judgemental and wrong way, that’s how!
NFP is birth control. I’ve only ever heard bizarre, pretzel-logic trying to explain how it isn’t. It’s wilfully controlling the birth of children. Control. Birth. Birth control. Get it now?
The only reason you believe it is because your Pope told you to. If you had a different Pope and he told you it was okay, you’d think it was okay. That’s what’s so mindless about all this. None of it is based in belief, reason or truth. Just legalism.
Why am I judging? Because maybe it’s your turn to take some of the crap you dish out to others when you say things like “birth control is evil”, which is so stupid anyway. That’s like me saying a brick is evil because someone could smash someone’s head in with it, even though it can also be used to build shelter for people.
Sin is all about intent! It’s choosing to do something selfish and wrong. You can choose NFP to be selfish and wrong, but that doesn’t make NFP “evil” according to you. But you can also use other birth control methods for good reasons, yet you still say it’s evil. That’s not even logical.
Again, anon, praying for you, that your pain may be healed.
BTW, if there are people that choose not to use birth control because they feel it damages them physically, spiritually and emotionally, what’s it to anyone else??
Anon,
I can understand that you’re angry, but language like f*ck is not appropriate here. But aside from that, you’re confusing a number of issues here. When we say birth control, we are referring to artificial family planning, whereas NFP is natural family planning. Artificial family planning, or contraceptives are evil because they do a number of things. For example, condoms are evil because they give a false sense of security against the AIDS virus. Contraceptives in general are evil because, items like the pill destroy any egg that may have become fertilized, and if that happens, then that is murder. If they are not destroying fertilized eggs, then contraceptives are evil because of the way in which they are used to promote promiscuous behavior. As Catholics, we believe that sexual intercourse is one of God’s most beautiful creations, and as such can only be appreciated fully in the sanctity of marriage. Because of that, premarital sex is considered a corruption of that beauty and wrong. With all that in mind, NFP differs because, first it can only be practiced within the confines of marriage. Second, it is with the understanding that any baby that might come about is welcomed. Finally, it is based on the natural reproductive cycle and does not have any artificial elements involved. With that in mind, if someone is not married, then they shouldn’t be having sex in the first place. As Catholics, we are very proud of the way that we promote respect for life. I am not appologizing for who I am, or we are for that matter.
A) I’m married
B) My husband doesn’t have AIDS
C) I’m not on the pill, and not all formulations prevent the implantation of fertilized eggs. There’s more than one kind of birth control pill, you know.
D) I don’t have any problems with people who use NFP. I have problems with people who make judgemental, blanket statements like “birth control is evil”. It’t not anything to me if you use NFP, just as it shouldn’t be anything to you if I use another form of birth control.
Everything you said about contraceptives being evil is in situations where they’re used for wrong purposes like premarital or extramarital sex or selfishly wanting money and possessions over children. That still doesn’t make birth control itself evil, just like smashing someone over the head with a brick doesn’t make the brick evil. The evil is in the intent and the heart of the user. Someone could just as easily use NFP to do all the things you say, and of course it can be used outside of marriage. You’re still not calling NFP evil – you’re still not even calling it birth control – how’s that for rationalizing?
Sometimes pregnancy poses a life threat to the wife. In those cases, birth control is necessary – reliable birth control. Marriage is between two people and God, not between two people, God and a host of nosy, judgemental people who think they know better than God what is right for other people.
If you don’t want to have to apologize, don’t offend people you don’t know with stupid, thoughtless comments about things you know nothing about. If you really believe that, keep it to yourself. Not that God won’t see the judgementalism and legalism in your heart, but at least you won’t go around hurting people and making them feel like they’re less human than you.
Anon- you keep talking about all the “condemning” and all the “judging” we’re doing. Christians are called by Christ to condemn wrong, and yes, sometimes evil, actions of others. Out of love for the other’s person’s salvation. Yes, there is a difference between rash judging someone(wrong) and judging actions and/or things we know to be wrong. I have children. God help me if I don’t judge their actions on a regular basis. Would it be okay to let my three year old run out on the street? Or allow him to get in the medicine cabinet and have free rein all in the name of freedom? No. We are called speak up when another’s actions are (whether they realize it or not at the time) harmful– to themselves and others. The pill (all forms of oral contraceptives), depo– these are abortifacients, meaning, should human life begin by an egg and sperm joining, that child is killed. Look into it. You really need to do your own unbiased research into NFP. If you need suggestions, email any of us. You know, there is a difference between someone having the license to do something and the freedom to do something. Just because the law gives us the license to have an abortion doesn’t mean we’re free to do it. Freedom exists in the Truth, which is Jesus Christ.
Oh, lest I forget–great post Pansy.
poor anon, for someone who gets so acrimonious about people being judgemental you throw around phrases like “catholic cow” and other profanities pretty liberally, don’t you think? you obviously are suffering through some major issues and my heart goes out to you; that said, you really should show the same charity towards others that you expect them to show you.
Two things.
First…Great post!
Second: A Point of clarification for the benefit of “anon”
EVERY SINGLE TYPE OF PILL, and ANY hormonal method of birth control or contraception, as well as IUD’s all have the potential to interfere with the implantation of a fertilized egg
Anon, first, please note our comments policy. We don’t like flaming, profanity, or personal attacks.
I am more sorry than I can say to hear that you and your husband are faced with such a difficult situation. And I’m sorry to hear about your horrible experience with those gossips.
It’s true that bricks themselves are not evil. A package of pills or latex sitting on the shelf is not evil.
But some actions are always wrong, no matter what our intent. Someone can act with the best of intentions and seek legitimate results, but still achieve her goal in the wrong way.
If husband and a wife decide, with good reason, to postpone a pregnancy or avoid pregnancy, God has given them means to do that. Artificial birth control (ABC) isn’t one of those means.
From the Catechism of the Catholic Church:
2399 The regulation of births represents one of the aspects of responsible fatherhood and motherhood. Legitimate intentions on the part of the spouses do not justify recourse to morally unacceptable means (for example, direct sterilization or contraception).
Now you wrote,
The only reason you believe it is because your Pope told you to. If you had a different Pope and he told you it was okay, you’d think it was okay. That’s what’s so mindless about all this. None of it is based in belief, reason or truth. Just legalism.
Perhaps you have been misinformed on this point.
This isn’t something new that the Pope made up yesterday. The Church has known and taught since her founding that contraception isn’t God’s plan for us. And she didn’t just “make it up;” the practice is also condemned in the Old Testament. Every Christian church condemned ABC — until the Anglican Church changed its teaching in the ’30’s.
If you want to learn why ABC isn’t God’s plan for us, and why it’s fundamentally different from NFP, I’d suggest checking out this link to Dr Janet Smith’s talk “Contraception: Why Not?”
There are health professionals across the country who specialize in helping couples in difficult situations such as yours. If you’re interested, let us know and we’ll post some of them.
I’m closing this thread now.
HI Anon
I don’t mind being called a Catholic cow. I rather like real cows especially Jerseys who have lovely pansy faces and tend to be placid and easy going. Being called a B**ch also wouldn’t worry me as my best friend is a female of the canine variety, a Samoyede who is known for her friedship and loyalty. So I suppose the old line sticks and stones will break your bones but names don’t hurt you is pretty true. I also think the attributes of the real cows and dogs is something people could do well to have so call away
Karnak
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You keep on talking about eggs, but aren’t you forgetting about sperm? Isn’t sperm considered to be life. It provides the second half of the chromosome pair and there can obviously be no life without it. The egg is worthless without it. Ergo, even in the case of Natural Family Planning you may not be sacrificing an egg but you are certainly sacrificing a whole lot of sperm. Therefore any act of sexual intercourse with out the attention of having a child could be considered immoral because you are sacrifing potential life.