My husband was speaking to my mother-in-law today. She randomly mentioned to my husband that we “better not make anymore babies” (my husband has not told her yet).
My husband asked “well, what if we do?”
“Then you’re just stupid!” And she hung up on him.
I am so tired of people. No one sticks to “the rules” anymore. You know the ones about respecting other people by not calling names and trying to twist their arm into doing what you want them to do? If she wants to say “I am not sure another baby is wise,” and leave it at that, fine. That is her choice. Respectfully voice your opinion and move on.
But for some reason, when it comes to issues of family planning, yelling, name calling, making assumptions about other people’s sex lives and voicing them is all fair game.
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Yes, I am so sick of strangers asking me about my “birth control” and staring at my baby belly (then giving me a fithy look) when I am out with my two sons.
As for my family… well, they know better than to ask. Hubby’s mother is still learning, and says stupid, hurtful and belittling things all the time. We try to ignore her.
BTDT with about, oh, the last FOUR announcements (that is, people, my mom, saying something insensitive). This last one, though, I tried something different…praying to the Holy Spirit and asking for hearts to be softened. It worked when I announced to my mom we were expecting #7 in Feb. 🙂
Anyway, something to think about when you do get around to telling MIL about the lastest addition to your family.
God bless.
That’s tough. Our screwed up culture (which has infiltrated our families and friends) is always promoting personal freedom, our right to choose, live and let live, etc, etc, etc. However, the one BIG exception is, if you don’t agree with them then you’re a narrow-minded, right-wing, Christian fundamentalist nut.
Too bad people don’t 1)mind their own business and 2)show kindness and charity towards all, especially family members. Not that I’m perfect at it, but I’m trying!
Sorry about your cat;(
Likewise, condolences. It’s sad to lose a pet.
People can be particularly intrusive about baby-having, but I’ve found that many are just discourteous in general. I don’t know when it got to be the norm to bossily assert your assumptions as pseudo-helpful facts, but it has always been impolite.
When I am pushed to the wall, I hope I’d be able to say something in response like, “I know you care about me, so I’m sure you can’t be aware of how rude [aggressive, inappropriate, etc.] that sounded.” But I’d probably just say “Umm, hmm,” hang up as soon as possible, and cry or throw things.
I wish I were your mil so I could hug you and crochet a layette for the little one ((( Pansy )))
Valerie, love the idea of praying for softened hearts. I’m going to start doing that. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for making me grateful for my mother in law.
I am so greatful that I have the mother-in-law that I have…. oh and the mother…
Makes up for having a heathen DH 🙂
Oh, and for what it’s worth, SOME of us don’t think you’re stupid. 🙂
HUGS
So, Pansy, Have you seen this shirt?
http://www.catholicposters.com/shop/product.php?prodId=684&cat=32+33+46+
I’m going to be buying it for a friend who just told me she is expecting #5, #4 is seriously ill and many many good people think they should stop.We are a people of life, to quote a mother of 9 I know, “I rather do what is right in this life, than burn in the next.”
I’ll pray for your mil, while I’m at it. I’m a bit jealous of you myself, being able to have so many babies!
When I was pregnant with #3, right after our conversion, somebody asked us, “Just how Catholic are you going to be?!?!?”
Makes me laugh, now, but it did sting at the time. Why can’t people just be happy about a new baby joining the family?
I`m just catching up after being away for 3 weeks, and your MIL`s comment made me just BOIL. I guess it reminded me of when my own ostensibly Catholic mother told me that I would be “stupid to have more than two.” True reproductive freedom is about a family — and their God, however they see fit to factor Him into their situation — doing what they think is best, whether it`s having 16 children or none. And since when did calling someone “stupid” ever change anyone`s mind???
Yeeeesh!
Welcome back L. I will have to pop by Homesick Home when I get a chance and catch details of your trip (right now I am trying to get myself to go do my morning walk, but stopped short at the computer) :/
And since when did calling someone “stupid” ever change anyone`s mind???
That is what bothers me most about family conflicts. It is not their different opinion on these issues, but their tactics. I mean I wish they agreed, but is essence not because I want them to realise “my way is the right way”. You don’t really feel that way about family, you kinda feel more like that about your senator of a different political party. What you ant from your family is to respect that you are trying to get by the best you can, and are even doing pretty OK at it.
But if they don’t agree, can they show a bit of respect?