Misfit
Today we went to the airshow and saw the Thunderbirds. It was a whole lot of fun. OK, I have been feeling sort of pathetic as of late because in this country that I am a native of, I feel like such a misfit. When I lived in Fiji, I was not a misfit, despite the fact I was not Fijian, Indian, Australian or New Zealander. I was “Pansy” not that black, Italian, chinese, scottish, “dee-yamm I ain’t never heard of a mix like that”girl. Once a week I dream of returning, and I wake up on the verge of tears to go back.
Now, how does this tie in with the air show? Whenever we go to “wholesome” family events, we are practically the only minority family. When we go to “minority”-esque events, we are the only white-ish family.
I thought when we fled to the TLM, it would be Catholic. See, the Churches in Albany are divided big time by culture. I thought the TLM was strictly “Catholic” and the pastor actually is. Many of the parishioners have their own bizarre agenda, so I do not quite fit in there.
This is not about race as much as it is about divisions, or “diversity”. Why in the USA is diversity such a virtue to the point that some who was born here feels more at home at some small island in the South Pacific? Why is it after how many years after the abolishment of slavery we have made very little strides in race relations in this country?
There are times I have been angry at my parents for being counter cultural, enlightened and intelligent people for marrying and creating me not only biracial in a country that wants you to choose one side or the other, but raising me Catholic to be able to see through the typical lies society spreads. Sometimes I wish I was one race to be able to stick to one side. Sometimes I wish I was not Catholic so I could be ignorant and fall into line with the way society feels about things such as abortion, birth control and premarital sex. I so know what the saying “ignorance is bliss” means.