I spent all of my twenties waiting to finally feel like a grown up. I figured when I was thirty I would, but I don’t, just feel like an old kid. Throughout my twenties, my husband and I were the only ones I knew married with children, so I missed out on that “valuable” carefree twenty something living that everyone on TV is doing. Well, OK, not really. But I think I am too sleepy. I am always in this befuddled brain fog and walking into walls from lack of sleep.
Anyway, if you watch TV, being in your twenties and early thirties (if you are not a teen) is supposed to be the prime of your life. No prime, too sleepy. I am thinking 53 may be a better age. My parents are like 53. My father has the energy again to get up at like 5 to go running. For years I got up at 4.30 am to work-out, and as soon as I hit my thirtieth birthday, that last bit of energy to do so disappeared. So I think I would like to be 53. I wonder if when I am 53, will I feel like a bone fide adult, or still feel like an old kid?
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I say, just enjoy the moment! It will pass before you know it, and it will then be a memory.
I have three older brothers who gave me some good advice after our first son was born – enjoy your kids at each stage they go through, because once it’s gone, it’s gone. I think that applies to life in general – enjoy each day, because it will be gone before you know it.
And btw, I’d much rather be in my thirties with children than in my twenties without!
I had 5 children by my 30th birthday. I also graduated from nursing school that year.
I wish I could remember more from within that sleep deprived fog.
My toughest birthday was actually 25 – as in here I am and what have I done with my life (besides have at the time 2 children). 40 was wonderful – my sister, husband, and children threw me a surprise birthday party to launch me in graduate school.
I wonder how I will cope with 50 – it is only a little more than a year away!
I don’t think one necessarily have to feel “like a grown up” to be one.
Perhaps making your decisions with respect to people outside of yourself (like your husband and children,) and to the future instead of the present moment, is a major sign (that you’ve “grown up.”
If it wasn’t clear enough in my interview, my twenties stank. I like my thirties waaaaaaaaaay better.
Here’s the real test: when some new situation or problem or opportunity comes up, do you immediate wonder how it will affect your comfort and convenience, or how it will affect the people for whom you are responsible? If the latter, then that’s as grownup as you need to feel, regardless of age. The tendency to think that “grownup” means able to indulge onesself without regard for others is shown up in its true colors by the way puerile adolescent tripe and positive indecency are invariably called “adult entertainment”.
No, I have always felt “grown-up” in the sense that I have responsibilities, and look out for my children, work hard and all the stuff that matters. I do not feel grown-up in the stuff that does not matter, like I never call up a friend on a cell phone while walking around in high heels saying things like “let’s do lunch, ciao.”
All that means is that you don’t act like an idiot. That isn’t grown-up, that’s self-indulgent-suerannuated-teenager, the sort of person who knows which way hems are going this Fall and cries when she breaks a nail. Not that it’s wrong to want to have lunch with a friend from time to time, which could probably be arranged; but hankering after a way of life that is pretty much incompatible with the life you’ve chosen is about the best recipe for unhappiness I know. And anyway, chicks in heels who shop a lot and make dates via cell phone are mostly wishing they had what you’ve got, so don’t fret.