Zoe Romanowsky blogs about Weighing in on Modesty over at HMS:
That there are actually children who can’t swim because they’re not allowed to wear bathing suits is very troubling. Maybe because I grew up on the coast and spent most of my summers with siblings and neighbors running around in hand-me-down swimsuits and barefeet all day. I don’t think you can equate parents who curb TV watching with parents who never let their children appear in anything but skirts/dresses and long pants. To me, this is not modesty. This is fear of the body because of over associating the body with sex. This is a lack of understanding of the theology of the body, and can even be harmful to the children.
So, alrighty then, let’s start with swimming. The selection of swimsuits these days are horrendous. My daughter is ten. There are little string bikinis at Target for for children her age. This is stupid. Swimming is really one of the most fun summer activities. Why has it become so sexualised?
I do not think one has to be a religious Catholic to ask this question. Back in my pre religious-Catholic days, when I had no sense of modesty, partied, believed marijauna should be legalised, I never understood the concept of a bikini. I mean you would not walk around outside in your bra and panties, but it is ok if it is made out of blue spandex? I thought perhaps I was being a bit extreme, and since I was a personal trainer and had worked hard for a (ahem) hot bod, I owed it to myself to show it off a bit. I would go shopping and I have a drawer full of bikinis. I never could bring myself to set foot out the house with one on. I wore them like twice, once when I was pregnant because I did not have a maternity bathing suit at the time and put a huge T-shirt over it. The second time, again, I stayed in my shorts and Tee because I was too embarrassed to walk around in mixed company in the equivalent of my underwear.
My daughter feels the same way. Swimming should be fun and it is no fun when you feel like people are staring at your lack of clothing all the time (she also has a much better sense of modesty then I did). I am making her a Wholesome Wear swimsuit for our camping trip next week. My daughter and I are also extremely fair skinned and always end up with bad sunburn, so I am hoping for some relief. See, it is more practical, not just about modesty, sexuality and all that other stuff.
The other extreme is of course prudishness and just plain weirdness. I know families who do not allow the boy siblings and girls siblings go swimming together. Why not? Because Hollywood has over sexualised swimming, can’t we bring it back to what it is, a fun physical activity? Sheesh. I mean we can allow them to play dodge ball together, right? Maybe I should not ask that. Again, I should not begrudge families how they spend their time, but it is not “Catholic”, but there own sense of lifestyle.
I liked Lisa’s story about being a witness by simply looking like you fit in with contemporary culture. I remember moving in with a new roommate who, when she found out I went to Mass regularly, exclaimed, “But you look so normal.”
Oh yes, I believe we should look as “normal” as possible. I try to stay fashionable and I think for the most part I do OK. More and more though, it is getting harder to find nice clothing that is modest and fashionable, so I think if many a thirty year old looked into my closet, they might find some of it dowdy. It is comprised of mostly long dresses and skirts, true. I do not think any of them scream out “Puritan” as much as “oh, she likes to wear skirts”. The point of my clothing choices is not to be Puritanical as much as I got tired of walking by a man and getting that “look”. It is not a pleasant form of attention and it is disrespectful. Actually, it makes me sick to the pit of my stomach. When I go out with my husband and children, I want them to see a respectful family.The truth is, I do not want too much attention from my appearance, I just want to blend in, go about my daily business unhindered. So I will take slightly dowdy.
I know many who totally follow the rules of some writing that a priest wrote in the 20’s about how women should dress. It is fine if people want to stay covered, I have no problem with that. It is hard because I know every five seconds they are assessing “look how immodest she is, look how she is dressed”-it puts me back to wondering if what I am wearing is acceptable…I am not sure how Christian that is in philosophy and there is something to be said about why the Church does not require a dress code.
modest bathing suits are great but with 10 children the ones in wholesome wear are way out of my price range. do you know of an inexpensive pattern?
They custom make the patterns for $7. They also sell the fabric and notions if you cannot find them.