Yeah, I’m Shallow

Yes, postpartem I want to be a superskinny superhottie. Yes, this is something I am slightly insecure and ‘noid about. I think everyone was one totally shallow reason in their arsenal about why, if they were not Catholic and didn’t have a clue, they would use artificial means to space babies. Mine is that everytime I get down to a shape I like, I get pregnant again. And it is getting harder and harder to return back. I remember leaving the hospital in my old jeans with my first two. Now, groan. With Gorbulas I was in baggy stuff for what seemed forever. My midwife said to give the belly 9 weeks to go down. Yuck, 9 weeks of walking around looking pregnant? I think I was going back to normal clothes by week 3 or 4 because I know I let myself leave the house around then and fit into normal clothes. I also joined Weight Watchers four weeks postpartem. I was so determined.
Not that I mind looking pregnant when I am pregnant. As a matter of fact it is one of the times I feel lovliest. Quite frankly it is really neat to be able to walk around with a bulging belly and feel absolutely perfect. But you cannot totally blame me for being so shallow. You can blame me some, but I’m and odd person, I am a perfectionist in many areas, my favourite show is Spongebob, I teach the kids how to do the hustle for a homeschooling class and quiz them on KC and the Sunshine bad-I guess maybe I am not reasonably well-adjusted.
See, but part of it you can’t totally blame me for my shallowidity. Go shopping ladies, go ahead. Walk into an Old Navy. Why are all the jeans cut just under that postpartem belly? Yes, of course I wear a longer shirt over it-yikes I don’t want nobody looking at my stretch marks-but the cuts are just perfect for taking that little pocket of belly and making it stick out under your clothes. Um, ick. Hey, I’m starting to have a revelation! I think that these styles were not intended for the average woman who has had a baby! They are intended to attract someone of the opposite sex. Usually, attracting someone of the opposite sex results in a postpartem belly. Then your clothing becomes almost asexual. These days though I cannot complain like I did ten years ago when I had Rosey Posey.That all nursing and maternity clothes are totally unattractive, they have gotten much better. But what I cannot fathom is why many clothes geared towards women of childbearing age very often try to lean towards “sexy” except at the times in your life when “hello”, it is obvious you had sex. And no, I am not looking to be a sexy Mama, just an average looking young adult Mama.
Now here is part two why you cannot blame me. Madonna. Sarah Jessica Parker. Now we have celebrities having babies, which is probably who I have to thank that maternity clothes are not limited to shapless dresses with Peter Pan collars. But now we are more unforgiving to women who do not bounce right back. I have seen it. I have been to baby showers of my cousin’s daughter and heard family gossip about how heavy my cousin looks at 6 weeks postpartem. Now here we are what is supposed to be a joyful family event, but you have to train to keep gossip of loved ones away. Good grief. Aha, see another reason you cannot blame me for being so incredibly shallow: crazy family who had maybe one kid and watches way too much TV and has very unrealistic expectations of what a real postpartem woman looks like. It’s not like the average person is having 4+ kids anymore and my mother and I concur that it’s that third or fourth kid that really devastates your body.
I had a small stint when Fastolph was a baby that I was heavier than I should be-a size 10. My grandmother would call me up to say “Oh Pansy, I am making a novena for you so you lose all that weight. I am so worried about you because you are starting to look matronly and you are too young to look matronly.” When I sent her a copy of this picture from Posco’s First Holy Communion all she said was “You gained weight again? You look so heavy there.” Hmmm. “nice picture”, “good job on the suit”, “Posco looks cute” would have sufficed.
Why are we so unforgiving to women who chose motherhood? I mean in a real world, you would think the slightly more curvaceous figure would be an added sign of femininity, not ugliness. Why has androgyny become more of a symbol of sexuality? I don’t know, I am confused now. Everytime I think about the hypocracies of modern society, my head hurts and I need to eat something.