Fastolph: Moooo—oooooom! Posco called me Stupid Feet!
Me:Excuse me?
Fastolph:He…called…me…Stupid Feet!
Me: Um, wow. I am very sorry he called you Stupid Feet. (Trying to comprehend exactly what that means. He didn’t say Posco “said I have have stupid feet,” but he called him stupid feet. So far it sounds like the dumbest insult in the history of the world.)
Fastolph:Oh, so what? You think it’s OK for him to call me Stupid Feet? You agree with him?
Me:No, of course not. But Fastolph, can you tell me what that means?
Fastolph: puts his head down and shrugs shoulders I don’t know.
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You’ve got an emotionally intelligent kid (and a boy, to boot!). I’d be rather pleased.
Sure it wasn’t “Stupid Feat”? That would at least make for a better insult.
It’s about time that someone spoke up. I’ve seen his feet, and they are pretty stupid.
My oldest does this all the time, he “invents” insults just to really bug his little brother, even though they are really stupid, and it gets him every time. It’s all in the delivery. The kid knows it’s an insult, so even if it’s something really stupid or silly, (ex. my oldest has called his brother “Cocodox” which isn’t even a word…, not even slang…) and he thinks he can get away with it, just because it’s not a “bad word”.
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!”
Insults from Shakespeare:
“Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!” (Timon of Athens, act IV)
“I can never see hum but I am heart-burned an hour after.” (Much Ado About Nothing, Act II)
“She is spherical, like a globe. I could find out countries in her.” (Comedy of Errors, act III)
“You cram these words in mine ears against the stomach of my sense.” (The Tempest, act II…sort of a “You make me sick” kind of thing, eh?)
“Thou clay-brained guts, though knott-pated fool, thou whoreson, obscene, greasy tallow-catch.” (Henry IV, Part I, act II)
“Were I like thee, I’d throw away myself.” (Timon of Athens, Act III)
“I do desire we may be better strangers.” (As You Like It, act III)
“He has not so much brain as ear-wax.” (Troilus and Cressida, act V)
“His face is the wort thing about him.” (Measure for Measure, act II)
Hahahahaha!!!
It’s so nice to be reassured once in a while that my own kids aren’t the only stark raving lunatic children on the planet… 🙂
I still get upset when my sister says stuff like that to me and im 20 and she is 18. I think it is just a sibling thing.
In response to Bob the Ape:
NI!