My mother purchased some clothes for my boys as a Christmas gift, but quite a few sizes too large. I have noticed a trend in women, myself included, that we tend to worry about “growing room”. No obsess about it, to the point that the discrepancy between the actual size of the kid and the size of the clothing can be quite dramatic. It’s like at a point in motherhood, your “practical” side kicks in, but sometimes it goes into overdrive. When I had one, I thought nothing about spending lots of money on tons of clothes, and would toss them out after the season, so why size up? Now I love hand-me-downs, I only shop sales or Goodwill, and do that bizarre sizing up thing. I have even been known to mend holes in the knees.
So my mother sized up, but I think she forgot who she was buying for-the miniature offspring of a 5’2″ mother and a 5’10” father. My 4-year old still fits perfectly in 3Ts, my soon-to-be-7-year old is in 5T. My two oldest wear a 14 slim (and he just grew into a 14; hooray for growth spurts) and a 12 husky. My mother purchased jeans for the boys sizes 9, 16 husky and 16 slim, and in all fairness, I am sure that is the sizes of average 7, 9 and 13-year olds, perhaps one size smaller. We decided to exchange the jeans for the boys’ current sizes instead of waiting for them to grow into them. My mother had no problem because when we walked in Christmas morning, she realised immediately that the boys were much smaller than what she bought for. Again, I do it too. I keep thinking they have to be larger than they are.
So we packed up the kids and decided on a trip to the mall. Rosey Posey had some gift cards and we were off to Macy’s to exchange the jeans.
I hate the mall. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy shopping as much as the next woman. However, I long ago realized shopping for the sake of shopping is pretty stupid when it comes to money management. I also have this issue with materialism, I think it’s bad for the soul (well, duh). But if you start to rely on shopping too often as a regular means of recreation, you easily lose your ability to discern between necessisties (even if that little necessity is in and of itself for enjoyment) and being caught up in just spending. So I make a point to never go to the mall just to go to the mall, I only go if I have something I am specifically looking for.
The mall was nuts, as I knew it would be the first Saturday after Christmas. Lots of people using gift cards and making exchanges. Luckily, we were able to get right to the table with the same brand jeans my mother purchased. We returned the old ones, picked up the ones we wanted, and even found Gorbulus’ jeans were in a smaller-sized section, so they were a bit cheaper. He requested the “almost black” (dark wash) jeans. Ha ha, six-year olds with fashion opinions. As if they are real people or something. BY golly, that was easy! By the time we got to the register, I wasn’t cursing myself for being so stupid to come to the mall on this day. I was happy I was able to find the same jeans, we had no melt downs as of yet. This was awesome. But there was a line at the children’s clothing department register and every person in front of me was making exchanges. It wasn’t too bad. Still, Macy’s and little boys make lousy bed fellows.
Oh, and the people in front of us were special people. I noticed them right off because the husband looked a lot like Monsieur Le Pieu from Ever After, except in modern clothes. He had on a trench coat with a popped up collar, and Ralph Lauren shirt-he had a “look” going on and I always think men that aspire beyond well-groomed and are going for a “look” are flakes. I don’t know. I suppose I don’t see a man who is willing to chop wood, fix toilets, take the boys camping, take the garbage out, and not only change diapers, but catch babies when they are born. I see someone staring at themselves in the mirror while I am taking out the garbage. I also noticed depsite the fact this gentleman looked about 40, he had his iPod earbuds in his ear. Ugh. Then I noticed his wife had a huge pile of clothes for their 11-12-year old looking daughter they had with them. My boys were already falling on the floor from heat exhaustion and boredom (it’s what happens to little boys when they are in department stores more than 5 minutes), and my husband was starting to sound ugly: “Get up! Do you see anyone else laying in the floor?!?”
So I was trying hard to shut out the goings on with my family a few feet away, and trying not to pay attention to the Le Pieu’s because if I did, it would be like watching a pot of water boil knowing it would take forever to just ring up my jeans. But they wouldn’t let me. One day I will do a prolonged psychological experiment to see when people are in public, if they have conversations in front of you in the manner they do because they either feel “on”, or are just oblivious to your presence. I imagine it’s both. But I was sucked in:
Mr. Le Pieu: I don’t know of I should get the scarf.
Mrs. Le Pieu: I know…but you really want it don’t you, I can see you want it. It’s hard when you really want something.
Mr. Le Pieu: I’ll be back.
He leaves and Mrs. Le Pieu starts directing the cashier to exchange these clothes and return these and out them on a gift card and the cashier doesn’t know if she can do that because the purchases were made on a Macy’s card, and my youngest boys are now playing tag running around their aggravated father in circles, and Berylla wants. out.of.the. stroller. NOW. Oh God help me and get me out of here.
Mr. Le Pieu returns with a huge grin, his iPod still in place and an orange scarf looking like he used the stylist to dress men in Gossip Girl-you know how all the men wear the ubiquitous fashionable scarves to accesorize, yet no men in real life accesorize to such a degree? Real men wear hats because their heads are cold. Period. Or because they are endorsing a sports team.
Mrs. Le Pieu: Oh look. See, now that’s nice.
Mr. Le Pieu: (grinning). Yeah.
Mrs. Le Pieu: And the orange is nice. We have’t had orange in awhile. We actually had an orange deficit! Now we’re bringing the orange back!
“Wow!” I think to myself, “First JT brought Sexy Back, now the Le Peiu’s are bringing back orange-these are exciting times we live in!”
Mrs. Le Pieu: Oh, and that’s real 100% cashmere too. That’s nice.
Finally, their exchanges of girl clothes were done and just when I thought they would leave, Mr. Le Pieu pulls out his Macy’s card to buy his new orange scarf. No matter, that will only be a second, and my turn and we are out. The cashier states “$49.95”. Now, how people spend their money is their business. But I couldn’t help to think about all the things I could buy with fifty bucks besides an accessory used to bring back orange. And I thought about the millions of lectures I get (and will get) about how I should not have so many kids because they are expensive. It’s true, if I didn’t have them, I could be buying lots cashmere scarves for my husband. Think of all the colors I could bring back.
I have to say, when we got to the cashier, she asked of all the boys were mine and said she was impressed with our family, remarked about how busy I must have been, but it was all in the complimentary sense (or so she pretended). That made the experience not so horrible, but kind of nice.
Shortly after that, we decided we didn’t want to stay in the mall much longer. The few stores we did go to, we met up with more odd people like the Le Pieus. And I am having a lot of trouble walking. It will be a while before we venture out there again. A long while.
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Dude, what if those people read this blog?
THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS.
Heheheheh.
malls? i would rather stick needles in my eyeballs.