This Irks Me

Watts Wastes No Time Losing Weight

(Jan. 13) – Less than a month after giving birth to her second son Samuel, Naomi Watts is flaunting her post-baby body — making mommies everywhere jealous.

Of course, as a “jealous” mommy, allow me to state the obvious. Having a nutritionist, a nanny, a personal trainer, and a stylist and getting into shape a month later is not the same animal as being someone who’s job it is to care for others besides yourself, and trying to find a minute here and there in between exhaustion to get back into shape. Also, the other obvious, these Hollywood starlets are having Baby # 1 and Baby #2 and the first, second, third babies do not wreak havoc on your figure the way 4 and up do.
So why am I whining about this…again? Well, Ia m grumpy and I feel with number 7 on the way, I have earned the right just to be a grump, and people need to deal…because oddly, it makes me feel better. Weird. I suppose I spend much of my time worrying about other people’s comfort more so than mine, and now I am so uncomfortable, I am forced to address my own…or something like that. But I’m tired, I’m huge, I scare people when I walk into stores: “um, wow, anyday now..I bet. Do you need to sit?” “No. One month left. Go look at someone else!” It hurt when I walk and I still have to make supper every night!!! And my clothes don’t fit.
I am NOT looking forward to delivering. NOT. NO! NO! NO! I do not see delivery as an end in sight, but rather than from the frying pan into the fire. I would rather stay like this as long as possible than go through post partum. If you read this blog you know it is the worst for me, I get repeated bouts of mastitis and post partum depression. The last two pregnancies (well, more to the point, the last) I tried very hard to be “pro-active” and do as much research I could on PPD, and found the factors I had control of, I do. The ones I don’t-genetics, lack of help, drop in hormones, contribute just as much and there is little that can be done about it. This time around, I picked up on one aspect that I didn’t put much stock into before-body image.
I stumbled on this gem of a blog:

I’ve never been a vain person, so I was surprised by my reaction to my appearance after delivery. I had gained a whopping 80 pounds during my pregnancy. After two and a half months of bedrest, what muscle tone I once had in my arms and legs was long gone. My abdominal muscles had separated. I had acne worse than I had as a teenager. My hair, which had grown so long and fast in pregnancy, was falling out in clumps.
I’d had a c-section (which invites its own host of body issues) and felt sick looking down at the mean, purple incision and dozen staples. My stomach, once tight and muscular, was a pouch of flab hanging over my beltline. After trying to breastfeed, my breasts were smaller than they were before pregnancy.
Even worse than my post-delivery appearance was the realization that, three months later, I still looked like I had JUST had a baby.

I mean of one of my friends told me this, I would tell her “oh please, you just had a baby, cut yourself some slack,” and I would mean it. I never look at my post partum friends and think “eewww”, but rather that she looks beautiful and she carries it so well.
I actually think there is a practical aspect to this. Not just the “well, that’s nature-hormnoes, emotions, body changes, crazy grandmothers that tell you how horrible you look at 1 month post partum, etc”. What does one wear during this time frame? Maternity clothes? Regular clothes? I tend to do sweats or yoga pants the second week (pajamas the first). I DON’T YOGA PANTS in real life unless I’m doing yoga. Or post partum. I can’t fit into regular clothes, but I read somewhere that one should never wear maternity clothes PP because maternity clothes are meant to accentuate the lovely, round figure of a pregnant woman, and that should not be accentuated PP. It just looks wrong. So what do you wear if you are normal and not Naomi Watts? Oh just give up already. Just stew in your jealous mire, and hide yourself from the world until you can be seen again. Right?
I don’t understand Feminism. Tons and tons of propaganda about not reproducing, but nothing for the benefit of women who choose to do what women are biologically inclined to do. It’s OK to push the unnatural body image of celebrities to the point of post partum depression for lots of women, and then we can blame it on the evils of plain, old motherhood, not backwards cultural attitudes.