Tag Archives: breastfeeding

Well, Time, You Done Got Me Blogging!

(Psst, I have to edit some more, but my husband wants to take me to breakfast. If I don’t save this now, it won’t get posted. So you get the gist, right? I know, very unprofessional since I’m getting paid to rant…no wait. Eggs over easy! )

I’ve been trying not to let people piss me off because there is so much…loaded political crap out there these days. And I’m busy, super busy, BEYOND busy! Busy with what, Pansy? I went back to work a year ago as a CNA, but I quit a couple of months ago. It was too much. I have teenagers-THREE teenagers. One in college, one in high school who seems intent on packing every sport into his HS career possible, and a bunch of other rugrats ranging from activities to football, karate and grinding Play-do into our nasty-ass rug. My house is a mess. I admit it. Meals are friggin awesome at Casa Moss though, so you win some, you lose some. Oh yeah. in the midst of all that,everyone in my family kind of like died the past year. OK, not everyone-my Dad, my FIL, my grandmother, my great-uncle…Oh, and I started to train for a half marathon, and did a number on myself overtraining, so we’re almost laying low in that department, but that would take another blog post.
So, in the midst of my busy-ness, I’ve been surviving and ignoring many an opinion on just about…everything. Not enough time to vent except the occasional tweet, FB status or virtual high five at Simcha.

Sigh. People wanna piss me off. So we come to this lovely Time Magazine cover: You’ve seen it, I’ve seen it, we’ve all seen it! The skinniest, most perfect looking, flat-chested Mom ever to birth a baby with the biggest-ass, corn fed, linebacking tree-year old I have ever laid eyes on, standing on a chair, breastfeeding. We see the mother, but this kid’s Dad must be some hearty stock, I tell ya. The caption tells us this kid is three, but everyone looks at him and thinks five or six right away. I don’t think the age matters, but this pair was picked for pure shock value. I know because it wouldn’t have the same effect if they chose me and my Gabriel, who happens to be three right now. Here he is:
Untitled
He’s in a box that some Beach Body stuff came in. With Nutella on his face. He decided to make himself a make shift bed because he fit in there. I don’t know. And he’s angry because his siblings thought this was funny and won’t let him fall asleep. They keep standing over him chanting “look, Gabriel fits in a box!” and poking him and taking pictures while the poor kid’s trying to take a nap, in the living room. In a Beach Body box. Shut up! I’m Mother of the Year!! Anyway, if you replaced that other three-year old with mine, it wouldn’t be as shocking.

So, getting back to the cover “Are You MOM ENOUGH? Why attachment parenting is driving some mothers to extremes-and how Dr. Sears became their guru”. Dr. Sears is my guru? Whoa. Oddly, I have a bunch of his books, and read them years ago, but I can’t remember much.

Getting back to the article, I unfortunately don’t have a Time subscription. Darn. So I only read this excerpt:

The Man Who Remade Motherhood

Joanne Beauregard is nothing so much as she is a mother. When she and her husband had trouble conceiving, Joanne quit her job as an accountant to focus full time on getting pregnant. When she did, she chose to give birth at home, without pain medication. Then, for months, Beauregard sat on the couch in her Denver-area living room, nursing her infant from sunup to sundown. She nursed much of the night as well, since the baby slept in bed with Beauregard and her husband Daniel, a software engineer.
When Beauregard got pregnant with her second child, she continued breast-feeding her…
Read more: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2114427,00.html#ixzz1uYPAuXw5

Where shall we begin? Let’s go backwards.I didn’t get to read how Joanne’s story ends, but she clearly is a nut with the home birthin’ and picking a lifestyle that CHAINED her to her couch. I agree. Did her husband get those chains at Home Depot? The really strong ones? Does he padlock them before he goes to work? Oh yes, when you have a newborn nursling, your life changes and is pretty much about the baby, and nursing makes that harder, especially ecological breastfeeding. But isn’t that life with a new baby? Child? It changes things. What exactly is supposed to happen in our lives, especially is we choose to have children? We stay 21 year old young adults forever? The imagery here is ridiculous.
All right, I’m going to skip ahead. The whole idea is that AP is extreme. I never found it to be that way, it was simply mothering. Of course I’m going to breastfeed, it’s more convenient, cheaper, easier. I’m not even getting into the medical benefits etc, because we’re talking about how it affects the mother and competing for the “who’s the better Mom” nonsense award or some crap. It’s just EASIER. Of course I’m going to co-sleep. You think I want to get out of my bed a bazillion times at night when I could just roll over, pop a boobie in the kid’s mouth and everyone is happy? Of course I’m going to stay home and take care of my kids, that’s my job. Every core of me being says so. They need me and I’m the only person who can do this for them. Of course I’m going o extended breastfeed because if you ever breastfed a baby, six months, one year or someone, jump in and tell me, what’s is “normal” isn’t that long. I think I said this. I have seven kids who all pretty much weaned themselves, except the last. I pushed that a bit. After 17 years straight, I was a bit sore. One was done at 7 months, one at 4 1/2 years. The rest, about 2 1/2. I will say this-you cannot force a child to breastfeed. Who would want to?

Home birth-better experience. Ecological breastfeeding-child spacing. Cloth diapers-cheaper. Baby wearing-getting dinner done. Not really a movement. Just going with the flow. Look, this Mom thing is hard. We do what we can to get by while doing our best to enjoy this experience, to love and nurture them, to get by, to try not to warp them too badly. I don’t have much of an opinion how other mothers operate, because I know how rough this job is.

See, but these days we must redefine “normal”. A healthy woman blessed with normal fertility taking poisons to destroy that gift. A mother having a child ripped from her womb. These are normal, and OK. Now we are labeling and rewriting normal mothering practices and saying some doctor “remade” it and calling it “extreme” “whacky” “bizarre”. Whatever.

The perfect mother is one who isn’t a mother, I think.

Hospitals Suck At Promoting Breastfeeding

I don’t think this is new news. Breastfeeding has become more mainstream since the 70’s and the fact that people still don’t pick it up as “the norm” is what I think is weird. I always noticed that minorities tend rarely, if ever to breastfeed. I don’t know if this is something cultural, perhaps hospital propaganda as described in this article, or whatever (perhaps Alicia can shed some light).The reasons I have been given as to why breastfeeding is bad range from “oh, breastfeeding, gross” (but this was from a cousin that I would have loved to have told “having two kids from two different convicts and leaving them in the Bronx with you grandmother to raise while you live in Long Island with your boyfriend-gross!”, but I didn’t) to a nursing baby “never gets enough food”, or “breastfeeding causes you to have all those kids so close together” (that gem came from my grandmother).

But breast-feeding can be frustrating for new mothers because of nipple pain or the misperception that they’re not producing enough milk. It’s crucial that moms get proper breast-feeding advice and encouragement those first few days after birth, said Dr. Sheela Geraghty, a lactation expert at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center.

Two years ago, a girl I knew had a baby and was adamant she wanted to breastfeed. She came from a family where this was a novel idea. As soon as the baby was waking up in the middle of the night, her sisters-in-law and mother were there with a bottle telling her her baby is starving . I nicely and unobtrusively (which meant it went in one ear and out the other) attempted to offer the advice to one of the sister-in-law who was bending everyone’s ear about what a dopey mother this was, that nursing babies metabolize food quickly, so they are always going to want to nurse. There doesn’t seem to be an understanding with many people who are trying to cross that bridge from bottle feeding to breastfeeding, that bottle feeding is strictly about food, while nursing is about comfort, not just nutrition. There is also a lack of understanding that you cannot over breastfeed, while there must be a level of control with how much formula to give and how often.

But practices unfriendly to breast-feeding were common throughout the country, the survey found.
About a quarter of hospitals reported giving formula or some other supplement to more than half of their healthy, full-term newborns. The practice was common even when mothers were able and willing to breast-feed, Dee said.
Of hospitals who gave supplements, 30 percent gave sugar water and 15 percent gave water.

Again, this reminds me of the control-freaky family members who will not give people the opportunity to even try it and fail, and find their way. It starts in the hospital. I think of that grandmotherly nurse, you know the one in the L & D room who tells you things like “now Honey, you have to lie still…”, “now Honey you are making too much noise…” (I have been to three hospitals in two states, and the same nurse is always there.) Then afterwards you find that nurse’s twin sister in the nursery sticking pacifiers in the baby’s mouth despite your requests. In their defense, they do this day in and day out, sticking a pacifier in the babies’ mouths makes things run smoother for them…I guess.

The other day when I was at Catholic Charities a couple I knew came in with their 10-month old girl for baby supplies. I knew the father, he used to be a neighbor and he has a cute little girl (by another lady I know) about 5-6 that used to play with my kids. In the summer I used to just leave the front door open and the kids would be in and out, in and out. The boys would play games and run out and the girls would come in and draw pictures. We always have an abundance of art supplies since we home school. Anyhoo, the father and I chit chatted about my husband, the weather and whatnot. I gave them diapers, but they were also there because they were out of baby formula, so they were requesting some from the food pantry. While they were waiting, the baby was tired and fussy. She wanted her bottle and wanted to take a nap. They gave the baby bottles of water, which she drank some, but then threw and complained. They were giving the baby, salchichas or Vienna Sausages (always a common snack among us Carribean folk, I often wonder if they eat them as much in Vienna as much as they do in Kingston and San Juan), she would eat one and fuss. it wasn’t what she wanted. I sat there and wondered what knuckle head(s) thought that for people where income might be an issue, formula was a much better alternative to breastfeeding? Someone who makes money off of formula, no?

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