March 2003 Archives

An interesting article about the

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An interesting article about the younger generations leaning towards more of an Pro-Life attitude.
Thank you to HMS Blog for the link. Greg Popcak states:

"The people I associate with in town are pro-choice, so I'm troubled — where do these kids come from?"  MORE

I'll tell you where these kids come from.  Watching their parents kill off two generations of their bothers, sisters, and peers and the cavalier, Velvet Culture of Death (to paraphrase my reader below) that has developed as a result.


Ain't that the truth!

Right near my house! Pro-life

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Right near my house!
Pro-life Guy talks about the Feminist for Life Billboards. We have passed them a few times and I have been very impressed. I was a member of FFL years ago (not active because their events were always very far away), now I want become a member again.

One billboard has a picture of Patricia Heaton and states :

"Women deserve better than abortion."

The other says something like:
"Abortion has two victims, one dead. One wounded."

I cannot remember the exact phrasing.
What is so funny, is here I am in the far reaches of Albany, and I have asked a bunch of my fellow Catholics in real life "Have you seen those neat FFL billboards?" and everyone says "no", "uh uh", "no, what do they say?" "nope, haven't seen 'em". I start reading around St. Blog's and they are mentioned. Too funny.

Mass picnic baskets I agree

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Mass picnic baskets
I agree with your blog about cry rooms. I will add one more criticism, they always reek of old cheerios. I never understand why people feel the need to feed kids during Mass. Especially when we are supposed to fast before receiving Communion."Look, it's Jesus up there on the Altar-have a Pop Tart." I don't know.

I'm not laughing I

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I'm not laughing
I can hear people outside scraping snow and ice off their cars. In all fairness, we do usually get a last snow storm in April, but it is so weird how that occurs after some nice jacket-wearing and going-out-for-ice-cream weather. I guess "fairness" really hasn't got much to do with it.

Out of sorts It's snowing,

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Out of sorts

It's snowing, first of all; big, fat, wet white flakes. Weren't we done with winter? (Stop laughing, Pansy.) My jonquils, which just popped out yesterday all jaunty and yellow, are hanging their heads in defeat. I planted two lavender plants in the front on Thursday; I ran out this morning and covered them, so I hope they make it okay.

Hambet was awful in Mass this morning, and alas, I wasn't much better. We went to a different church today and got there a little early. I tried walking him around the church to try to get the wiggles out and satisfy his curiosity. He liked the tour, but it did nothing for his behavior -- we were in the cry room before Mass even started.

Have I blogged before about how I dislike cry rooms? Some people seem to treat them like private luxury boxes at the sports arena -- the children are allowed to run wild while the adults skip the responses for Mass or even chat with each other. This morning the other little person in the room was a young lady who seemed to be about three or four, and who colored in perfect silence throughout the Mass. Her parents had packed a nice little picnic for her; when Hambet saw the sippy cup come out, he assumed there was one for him too, and loudly protested when he found out that wasn't the case. I ended up having to remove him from the cry room several times, and was feeling pretty angry and frustrated -- and easily irritated by all the pinpricks of a suburban "Mass factory" parish: the cheesy music, the priest's endless ad-lib annotations and revisions to the Missal (no golf jokes in the homily, though, Deo gratias) and the stampede out the doors after Communion.

Birthday Celebration Rosey-Posey had a

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Birthday Celebration
Rosey-Posey had a really great time at her roller skating party. At least that was the impression I got when she kept coming up to me, putting her hands together and saying "Oh Mommy, this is the best party ever! Thank you sooo so much for this wonderful birthday!" (And yes, she does talk like that, in hyperbole, all the time.)

Many of the children were first time roller skaters, they fell a lot, but seemed to have heaps good fun. My three year old was hysterical, roller skates in all directions. God bless him, he fell a gazillion times but refused to give up trying the four hours we were there.

Rosey-Posey got some pretty cool gifts also. A Princess Bride Barbie, What's Her Face doll, a craft set, a beautiful version of The Little Mermaid and Anne of the Green Gables, and to top it all off a Fuschia Gameboy Advance.

The Gameboy is really cool because it hooks up to the Gamecube and you can play Zelda or Metroid Prime on it. I think Nintendo should give us stock or something. There is not a room in our house which is not Nintend-ensified. I even have an IZEK Singer sewing machine which hooks up to a Gameboy Color to program the stitches. Even though I am telling you all this, I am not sure this is something to be proud of...

Also, the cake was awesome. I was very sad because Peony does not live close by, and could not do one of her awesome custom made cakes for us. But if we had to have second runner up, the cake we got was really lovely. It was from a local bakery called Vanilla Bean, and they decorated it-let me just say when we took it out, everyone gasped and commented how beautiful it was.

It was really a fun day overall. I thank God for blessing us with such nice times.

Veggie Madness "Now the moral

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Veggie Madness

"Now the moral of this story
is the point we hope we made:
If you go a little loopy,
better keep your nurse well paid!"

From "The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps"

On Pansy's encouragement I have continued to investigate the Veggie Tales. I checked out two Veggie videos from the library -- The End of Silliness? and The Ultimate Silly Song Countdown. They seem to be growing on Hambet. They're certainly growing on me (although I did find myself staring at the ceiling at 5:30 this morning with "Barbara Manatee" singing in my head.) These vegetables have a wider range of expression than many Hollywood stars do.

I wish there were Catholic videos available that were this well done.

For the record, some of my other favorite Silly Songs are "The Cucumber Song", "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything", and "My High Silk Hat."

I made waffles for breakfast

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I made waffles for breakfast this morning.
That is the usual Saturday protocol. I topped it with Vermont Maid brand syrup: "The taste New England loves." distributed by B & G, Roseland, NJ.

Aw, shucks. William Luse has

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Aw, shucks.

William Luse has some nice words for our blog over at Apologia. Since we can't send him cookies we added Apologia to the blogroll. (I so want to go mining around in those archives. Here's a treat I came across right away:

We are not sent into this world for nothing; we are not born at random; we are not here that we may go to bed at night and get up in the morning, toil for our bread, eat and drink, laugh and joke, sin when we have a mind, and reform when we are tired of sinning, rear a family and die. --Cardinal Newman

Two Sleepy Mommies has been up for about two months now. I am still astonished and gratified that people stop by. Thanks to all!

"Tee hee, Thank You." That

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"Tee hee, Thank You."
That is what my daughter said when she saw your "Happy Birthday."
I cannot believe she is 10. I remember when she was born like it was yesterday. It was at the Familyborn Birth Center (which is no longer there). She was born at 9.20 PM and was 8 pounds, 1 ounce, 20 inches and 4 weeks early. It seemed like she was a baby forever, and now she's 10. I know what people mean when they say "she will always be my baby." Gosh, I guess it's official, I'm old.

Today we are having a party for her at a local roller rink with some of her homeschooling friends. There will be cake and pizza.

I haven't been to a roller rink in years-I think since the 80's. Man I just keep getting older. I am going to stop writing this blog while I'm still ahead.

Hmmmm.....

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up with the birds for some reason, while Hambet snoozes upstairs. I've been full of energy this week, no doubt because I've been outside getting some exercise. It's a cool, grey, drizzly morning.

My husband made a quick call last night; the connection was terrible, I could barely hear him, but it sounds like he's having a good retreat.

Remember I mentioned attending a wedding earlier this month? The bride will never see the Purgatory for Procrastinators. In the four weeks since her wedding, it looks like she's been on her honeymoon, written her thank-you notes, moved to a new place, and -- as I found out yesterday -- been deployed to Kuwait.

Big event today!

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Happy Birthday to You!
Happy Birthday to You!

Happy Birthday ROSEY-POSEY.....
Happy Birthday to You!

Double digits!

Friday evening Preheating the oven

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Friday evening

Preheating the oven for dinner (frozen pizza.) Today went fast. Hambet hasn't asked about Daddy yet, but he's a little out of sorts and did not have a good morning in class (tears for the Hello Song again!)

I did get some digging done in the garden and finished the first bed (the southeast one, future home of lettuce, carrots, spinach, and rosemary.) Hambet had fun just trotting around with a trowel full of dirt. Made a quick dash to KMart this evening; I was looking for seeds for creeping thyme to plant between my stepping stones. Martha (Martha Stewart brand seeds) didn't seem to have that, but she did have a couple of varieties of eggplant. Now, dh insists he doesn't like eggplant and I haven't cooked it since I was in college, so I hadn't planned on putting any in. But Martha had seeds for an heirloom variety of eggplant where the fruits are little and white -- like eggs. I couldn't resist. This is insane -- I am now buying vegetable seeds simply because they look CUTE.

Peony's Friday Five: UPDATED nothing

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Peony's Friday Five: UPDATED

nothing terribly enlightening this week.

1. What was your most memorable moment from the last week? Going to the library this week with Hambet sacked out on my shoulder the whole time. (It hasn't been a big week for memorable moments.) UPDATE:Make that Hambet's attempt to make the Sign of the Cross tonight -- his best effort yet! Head, chest, left shoulder, then folded hands, while saying, "Fa'er, Son, ah-MEN!"

2. What one person touched your life this week? How about my husband and child?

3. How have you helped someone this week? I packed my husband's suitcase for him.

4. What one thing do you need to get done by this time next week? Pay the mortgage.

5. What one thing will you do over the next seven days to make your world a better place? Pray for peace.

I do not know if

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I do not know if you have been reading Ashli, but she's on fire this week...

My brother is very upset

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My brother is very upset
He is a freshman at University of Buffalo. His first choice was Steubanville because of the Catholic environment, but his major is Aerospace Engineering and Mechanical Engineering, so everyone figured UB was a better choice.

So to counteract being a Catholic at a non-Catholic school he started hanging out at his school's Newman Center .

He was upset because they brought in guest speakers from Call to Action on Wednesday. He said he was upset for the obvious reasons, but I think one of the things that is upsetting about a situation like this is the heterodox faction has no tolerance for those of us who really just want to go to places labeled "Catholic" and just be Catholic. They just know that all of us feel "imprisoned" by the medieval Church and are waiting for someone to ordain a woman somewhere to "empower" us. And they certainly do not realise that when we go to a place to worship, or to "fellowship" among other Catholics, that we feel betrayed when they use places of comfort to further their own agendas.

One of the things I

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One of the things I like about St.Blog's is reading how people really love their families.
In real life, people are always complaining about their families and trying to get away from them. The men go out for beers after work, the couples go away to get away from the kids, the wives go to Ladies Night to get away from the husbands and kids...It is refreshing to read people saying nice and loving things about their families.

Victor has the sweetest blog about taking his son to the park which got this hormonally imbalanced breastfeeding Mommy all emotional and "aww"-ified.

And another thing: when I check in on 'Xander as he's taking his after-park nap I like to imagine him dreaming about the trips down the slide with Daddy and I hope that those dreams make him happy.

"...I think that what we

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"...I think that what we are seeing over all is a reflection of a culture that does not truly value women as women."

No, society does not value women as women. Why would women in order to feel self-worth need to neuter themselves with birth control, instead of finding self-worth in what women do naturally? Why has child bearing become such a plague that 40 million mothers have killed their own children in their wombs? Why do we applaud Jennifer Lopez in her scantily clad shower curtain looking attrocities and hail her as "sexy" and "daring", yet are quick to judge a feminine covered woman as "dowdy"? Why are so many women cohabitating, allowing men to treat them as sex objects only, and why are so many men these days treating them as such? And of course, the question on everyone's minds today is why are women on the front lines?

It seems to me we have lost such a sense of what a beautiful thing it is to be a woman. God loved women so much that He entrusted one to become His Mother. We should be embracing Her Example, yet we throw it out first chance we get.

Don't miss this. Drop what

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Don't miss this.

Drop what you're doing and check out Alicia's reflections on our society's disdain for women's gift of childbearing:

...Our society no longer values this (giving birth) as a worthy gift to give. Women are being told that enduring childbirth is neither necessary nor heroic. They are told that childbearing is selfish, greedy, expensive, risky, and certainly not important in an "overcrowded" world....I think that what we are seeing over all is a reflection of a culture that does not truly value women as women."

Alicia also mentions that she, too, is going on retreat this weekend. Praying for you, Alicia!

Gardening news and other stuff

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Yesterday I went to the nursery and found out that they had no garlic or rhubarb yet. Apparently these are imported, and all the shipments are hung up in Customs. Oh well, all the more time to get my beds ready. I started them exactly the wrong way -- I should have laid my paths first, double-dug the beds, and then graded them immediately . I also thought I could mark off my squares by laying bamboo stakes across the ground (two minutes this morning showed me that sticks weren't going to work.)

So more digging and leveling ahead, and spikes and string to mark off my squares. I am going to have a whole big pile of "extra" dirt and I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it. I did plant my very first square of mesclun this morning!

My husband is going on a retreat this weekend. He is leaving tonight and will be back on Sunday. Prayers for a safe trip and a fruitful retreat would be greatly appreciated -- thanks!

Diogenes at CWN blog states:If

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Diogenes at CWN blog states:

If you enjoy Catholic rituals, but not Catholic teachings, you might find the American Catholic Church attractive. There's an actual organization by that name-- distinct (oh, yes; very distinct) from the Catholic Church founded on the Apostles.

Yes, there is, and they are literally around the corner from me!.

Non-GranolaCon Mommying My husband was

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Non-GranolaCon Mommying
My husband was all excited yesterday because he came home with his copy of Zelda: Windwakers. He and the kids all gathered around the GameCube like they were unveiling some type of jewel. They were clinging on to his every word as he told the children how he got to deliver the games to Electronics Boutique and when he requested his copy, the sales person knew his name on sight. Um, wow.

I have also been feeding the kids Farm Rich Frozen French Toast Sticks for breakfast because well, they eat them. I hope I do not have to return my Official GranolaCon Card. I have never seen them get so happy about breakfast before. Gorbulas finishes his last bite instead of throwing the food on the floor. My mother used to say "the corn chip they eat is better for them than the carrot stick they throw away."

Mutual admiration society New to

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Mutual admiration society

New to our blogroll:

De Fidei Oboedientia
Mallon's Media Watch

Jeanetta is proof that there is at least one Catholic in Rochester who's thinking about faith and obedience. I suspect Pansy can totally relate to her struggles. I certainly can; I went to college in the Diocese of Richmond. I was almost totally uncatechized and knew nothing about rubrics, Tradition, and thinking with the Church, but I still had a "something's not right here" feeling the whole time I was there.

Mr. John Mallon is a contributing editor to Inside the Vatican. I help one of the ladies from my previous parish choose books and magazines for the parish book rack, and every month this magazine sells out the first weekend she puts it up (while the aging hippie journals of dissent just sit there until their trip to the nursing home at the end of the month.)

Inside the Vatican is a sister publication to Canticle, a journal for Catholic women. So much good, thought-provoking writing! Check out these articles on mother-infant bonding. I've permalinked Canticle (and will be renewing my own subscription soon.)

I haven't blogged about the

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I haven't blogged about the war
on purpose. Many people at St. Blogs have much more educated and thought out blogs than I could ever write on current events. However, what has been happening has been filling my thoughts and prayers. I have been watching the news in order to feel "connected" somehow. Like if I know what is happening to our troops, the significance of what is going on over there and what they and their families are sacrificing will not be lost on me-I hope.

I am also very confused because I was not exactly "pro-war" before the war and placed much merit in the Holy Father's plea for peace (I still do). However, now that we are there, I do not think the reasons for us being there are unfounded. This is the first time I have disagreed with the Holy Father on anything. Actually, it's not that I disagree with the Holy Father, but I also agree with the President. And, the president's reasoning is more obvious to me. I feel like a very bad Catholic...

Peony, I second your "uggggggh"

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Peony, I second your "uggggggh"

Today was not a great day. I am soooo sleepy. Gorbulas had a nursing marathon from midnight to 4 am. I have been fighting sleep all day. Then Fastolph dumped liquid hand soap on my bathroom floor. I had to wait until the baby fell asleep to clean it up. As soon as it was clean, he woke up-so no naps for Pansy.

On a funny note, my mother read your blog and said we should switch places for one day. I get Hambet, and you, er, get Rosey Posey, Posco, Fastolph and Gorbulas. I told her that doesn't seem quite so fair to you, but hey, I'm a taker!

uggggggh not getting very far

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uggggggh

not getting very far today. Poor Hambet is tired and irritable, but isn't sleeping well. He just wants to watch TV or have a book read to him. Otherwise he doesn't know what he wants. He's misplaced one of his slippers and I'm trying to avoid reminding him, since the last time he noticed it was missing ended up in piteous tears.

I have another entry to my Corporate Hall of Shame: Gateway computers! We bought our new computer from them last November and were supposed to get a rebate. Instead all we're getting is the run-around. They are telling me that duplicate rebate submissions cannot be honored but that they have no record of receiving my submission. I emailed them again today, and if I don't get a satisfactory resolution by Friday I'm contacting my county's Office of Consumer Affairs.

Well, speaking of piteous tears, perhaps I should attempt to balance the checkbook.

Here's the plan for my garden:

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Peony's garden

The north rows will be used for tomatoes, with (God willing) broccoli, rhubarb, and herbs in the middle rows, with carrots and lettuce towards the south end. The fence shades the east edge of the bed in the morning, so I'm trying to keep shade-tolerant plants on that side.

Mel Bartholomew also recommends including squares of marigolds and nasturtiums in the garden to help deter pests, so I'll give that a try.

Spring fevers *sigh* I had

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Spring fevers

*sigh* I had this nice long post yesterday that has vanished! A quick recap: the usual Monday lament about how weekends are too short, and a short account of how we spent the weekend getting the garden in. When I get a new project in mind I go at it with all the moderation of Captain Ahab, and that's how it's been with the garden. This year we planned out our patch using the Square Foot Gardening method and expanded it, spaded in some peat moss and compost, and even added little walks in between the blocks with paving stones. We had great weather and made quick progress, so we are ahead of schedule. My husband graded the beds for me last night, so I am hoping that I can start sticking seeds in the ground by the end of the week. I have high hopes for our garden this year.

I may be scarce this week between the usual tasks, garden fever, preparing for my husband's absence this weekend, and now Hambet's (and my) illness. Nothing serious, but we both have colds and feel terrible. I have designated today a "loaf day" -- Hambet gets to watch more TV than is usually permitted and wear his slippers all day long (for some reason, he loves his slippers.) I get to read, start my garden journal, and maybe write some letters. We both get to snuggle together and drink all the apple juice we want.

Jeanetta of De Fidei Oboedientia

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Jeanetta of De Fidei Oboedientia mentions my parish. If ever you happen to find yourself in the vast spiritual wasteland that is the Diocese of Albany, St. Peter's (link left) is a wonderful little oasis.

Oops Rereading my blog below,

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Oops

Rereading my blog below, I noticed a great deal of grammatical errors. I did proof read it, but they seemed to have escaped me. Instead of fixing them, I am using it as an example. I almost did not finish it because I was interrupted numerous times and lost my train of thought. Sooo when you read a Pansy Blog that sounds basically like my brain fell out of my ear, it did. It is a side effect of motherhood.

Two Families Yesterday we went

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Two Families

Yesterday we went to two birthday parties.

The first one we went to was of a homeschooling family. They are a family of nine in Sechenectady that are fellow parishioners. It is always neat to not only to have like minded Catholic people around, but like minded AP type people around. The mother asked where I got my sling, and I told her I was only able to find it on the Internet. I am never able to find baby products I really use in real life baby stores. "Yeah, practical stuff" she remarked. While my husband likes them, I think he felt a bit uncomfortable because each homeschooling family we know is at least 10 years then us.

Afterwards, we went to a birthday party of one of my husband's co-worker's sons. We actually did not know it was a birthday party, we just thought we were stopping by for a visit. This couple is a very nice couple, and I think my husband likes having another young, married couple around. They seem like they would give us the shirt off their back. I felt funny though because I had to guard everything I said because they are typical-pro-contraception, day care parents. At one point we were sitting at the kitchen table chit chatting and there was a pen on the table that said New York Family Planning Pro-Woman, Pro-Family, Pro-Choice. I almost screamed. I do not like being in situations where I may have to hold my pro-life tongue. Being pro-life is not merely a stand on an issue I take, it is who I am.

Of course the issue of "are you done?" came up. My husband's coworker asked "do you want more kids because your husband says he wants more, but I was wondering about you". I said "of course I want more". I am kicking myself because of the missed opportunity of evangelisation, but I really get choked up at the subject. I never know how to talk about the subject because it is personal. That and of you get me started, I will go into a sililoquoy into Natural Law, the Vocation of Marriage blah, blah, blah. The hostess then said she always wanted more children, but her husband (who was right there) told her absolutely no more. Another guest remarked that kids are too expensive. He just finished two conversations about the new pool he was getting and a new custom made Trailblazer. Things that make you go "eeww".

I know this may sound like a "Holier than thou" blog, like "can you imagine, see how these people think"! That is not my point. It is so frustrating that it is hard to meet other couples socially and while they are nice people, I cannot be around them too much because of the disagreement about what I think is right. Especially if they are pro-choice...I feel like I live in a bubble.

Story Time If You Give

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Story Time

If You Give A Mom A Muffin

If you give a mom a muffin,

She'll want a cup of coffee to go with it.

She'll pour herself some.

Her three-year-old will spill the coffee.

She'll wipe it up.

Wiping the floor, she'll find dirty socks.

She'll remember she has to do laundry.

When she puts the laundry in the washer,

She'll trip over boots and bump into the freezer.

Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan for supper.

She will get out a pound of hamburger.

She'll look for her cookbook ("101 Things To Do With a Pound of Hamburger").

The cookbook is setting under a pile of mail.

She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.

She will look for her checkbook.

The check book is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old.

She'll smell something funny.

She'll change the two-year-old's diaper.

While she is changing the diaper, the phone will ring.

Her five-year-old will answer and hang up.

She'll remember she wants to phone a friend for coffee.

Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.

And chances are...

If she has a cup of coffee,

Her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

--anonymous

Thanks to the Magical Childhood mailing list for this little story.

Book Corner: Time Management for

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Book Corner: Time Management for Catholics by Dave Durand

I know Davey's mommy has mentioned this book before. I recently finished rereading it (sometimes it takes me a few reads to really absorb things.)

I have found this book very helpful, even when I apply Durand's suggestions in in the most haphazard way. His approach is simple and intuitive: examine how you're spending your time now, make a mission statement, set out priorities according to your mission statement, and plan your day accordingly.

The book is clearly written and easy to use -- with short chapters -- without being dumbed down. It's even literally easy to read, in the usual graceful style of Sophia Institute Press. This simplicity is one of the things I most appreciate about the book: it teaches principles that you can apply in any situation and according to your own preferences, instead of using an author's pre-fab system. I have found other books on Time Management to be pretty useless (especially the Franklin-Covey system) with their elaborate, multi-page calendars, busy diagrams that require another diagram to understand, and useless suggestions. (The main thing I brought away from Covey's book, for example, is "delegate it!" Which didn't help me, since I had nobody to delegate to and had plenty of people delegating things to me.)

It is full of observations and suggestions of the "oh how obvious, why didn't I think of that before?" variety (my favorite: the to-do-tomorrow list) and discusses ten "time bombs." There are chapters dedicated to personal prayer, spiritual reading, meditation (a very helpful chapter) and family prayer. There is also a mini-prayer book in the Appendix.

The Appendix also includes a discussion of why "Catholic time management" is better:

[It] emphasizes self-knowledge [instead of self-esteem].
I am a steward of my God-given goods, including time.
Sin is...a waste of time...
Time is a mystery and a gift.
Good time management is ordered to eternal life.

Even Hambet likes this book. When I first got it I had to constantly hide it from him, since he was (and still is) fond of removing the dust jacket and cooing at the picture of the baby on the cover.

New to our blogroll: G.K.

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New to our blogroll:

G.K. Chesterton's blog
Off the Record (can't wait to see what Diogenes and Father Rutler have to say! Thanks to The Curt Jester for the tip)
Our Lady of Loretto Carmelite Chapel Big thanks to St Blog's Carmelites for launching this blog.

Class report Hambet did fine

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Class report

Hambet did fine with the Hello Song this morning, but I think the tots were made nervous by the weather (we are expecting storms this afternoon.) Hambet was clingy, ignored the parachute (usually his favorite part.) One little person fell and bumped her head, and that set off the other kids -- for the rest of the class, they took turns clinging and crying. Hambet took his turn at the very end, so we spent the story and the Goodbye Song in the back, trying to calm down.

More nannies than ever today. One was there with her toddler charge and his infant sister. Another accompanied a young lady whose outfits probably cost the same as my weekly grocery bill. One of them was chatting with me before class, she casually asked, "so are you going to have another kid, do you think?"

Now, I know she didn't mean anything by it, but it was just so depressing. That question always kind of shakes me anyway, because the answer is "I can only hope so." The fact that people now think nothing of asking such a personal question is depressing enough, but her tone was exactly the same as if she were asking if I were planning on buying another pair of sneakers, or signing up for another class. There is an unspoken assumption among some people I meet that the second child is like an optional luxury upgrade to the family, like getting a sunroof on your car. And if you have a third child, you may as well have a sitcom based on your life, since your family is so incredibly huge.

Peony's Friday Five 1. If

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Peony's Friday Five

1. If you had the chance to meet someone you've never met, from the past or present, who would it be?

G.K.Chesterton.

2. If you had to live in a different century, past or future, which would it be?

Oh, I don't know. Probably the nineteenth. These vague questions don't do much for me.

3. If you had to move anywhere else on Earth, where would it be?

Yet another unanswerable. Someplace near water -- maybe the Great Lakes. My husband and I really liked Michigan when we were there last year.

4. If you had to be a fictional character, who would it be?

Elizabeth Bennett

5. If you had to live with having someone else's face as your own for the rest of your life, whose would it be?

Isabella Rossellini's would do.

Alicia links to us and

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Alicia links to us and offers some good comments on the current discussion!

Peony, your blog had me

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Peony, your blog had me thinking (uh oh-is that a good thing?)

Did the social changes of the sixties help get us into this pickle? The radical feminists told us that women were oppressed by staying home. Women entered the labor market in huge numbers, and that surely must have driven down wages for everyone.

It is taking more and more secondary education for people to basically keep their heads above water these days. I wonder if that has to do with the competition of women as well as men for the same jobs. Sadly, I think it is unrealistic to expect everyone to wait until they are like 28 to enter a vocation of marriage, but it seems that must be done to earn a decent living in many parts of the country.

The other thing is if you have a man with a family or a woman who would be bringing in a second income competing for the same job, is it more moral to give the job to the man? I personally say "yes" but discrimination laws (which are needed) would say "no". I think laws aside, I wonder if there was a time when there were more SAHMs it was understood that a husband supporting a family would need the job more...

Now what? Why is it

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Now what?

Why is it I cannot see the comments on IE, but only on Netscape. I'm so confused...

Our unjust economy Pansy, thanks

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Our unjust economy

Pansy, thanks for posting from Rerum Novarum. The Church's social teaching is so rich, and so little known. I wish I had time to research and post more on the just wage, but I just can't do it today. I apologize in advance for this very off-the-cuff post.....

There are so many injustices in the mix when families truly can't afford to have a parent at home with their children. Is the breadwinner not being paid enough? There is a great quote on this (I think in Rerum Novarum), something to the effect of "if the worker is not paid justly for his labor, what's he supposed to do?" Jobs are growing more and more uncertain, and it's getting harder and harder to find work (particularly if you don't have a college education.) Those who have vocations to marriage and parenthood have the right to live them out. Children have the right to their mothers' milk and their parents' care.

Of course, we also have responsibilities. We have the responsibility to conceive our children in the protective covenant of marriage. We have the responsiblity to go to school and develop our skills and talents. And we have the responsibility to make sure that our needs and the needs of our families are met before we pursue our wants.

Did the social changes of the sixties help get us into this pickle? The radical feminists told us that women were oppressed by staying home. Women entered the labor market in huge numbers, and that surely must have driven down wages for everyone. Business must love having all that cheap labor -- plus the increased demand for provision of goods and services that were previously provided by SAHMs, plus the increased demand for "stuff" from people who had more money to spend (or thought they did.) The problem feeds on itself as the high number of two-income families drives up the cost of living, especially the cost of housing.

somethings that do not make

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somethings that do not make sense

like why Dr. Ruth is on PBS's Kids Read Between the Lions...

last night's Pastoral Planning meeting

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last night's Pastoral Planning meeting

I blogged before (cannot find the archive) about a series of meetings my diocese is having to make changes because of the priest shortage. Our last meeting was snowed out, so it was postponed until last night.


The Bishop talked a lot about doing things in the "vision of Vatican II". For example, we need to train "Leaders". We need to accept change. There are many parishes across the country where people attend what they refer to as "Father's Mass, Sister's Mass, Deacon's Mass". I am not a theologian, but this so does not sound like The Dogmatic Constitution of the Church-Lumen Gentium-in other words, not very in keeping with the "vision of Vatican II".


When they opened the floor for discussion, many stated that there must be more done in the way of encouraging vocations, and the Bishop's answer to that was families do not hold becoming a priest in esteem anymore (the shortened version). To that I raised my hand and tried to say that as a mother, I see very little on a parish level to encouraging families to form children that would embrace vocations. Of course I choked on my words, especially when they asked me to repeat what I said to speak into a microphone. Ack.


I sounded something like:

"Um, I just wanted to say at my old parish, there was, um, er, very little in the way to encourage, well, families to want their children to go into vocations. I mean people just go to Church and leave and that's it. I, um, wish, um, there was more to offer on a parish level to help families encourage vocations.I am one of the only people I know who would love to have a son as a priest. Anyway, I just, um, well I do not know when I, er, would have the chance to say that again." And I quickly sank back down in my seat.


Sigh, blogging is so therapuetic...

another reality check A reader

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another reality check

A reader writes in the comment box below:

Sigh...in this day and age, Pansy, some parents really and honestly do need two paychecks. We do. We don't like it, but we do.
Yes, it is is true, everyone's situation is different, and there are always situations and times when things must be done to make ends meet.

Still, when you are home during the day, and when you walk around, it is rare to meet up with other SAHM's around. Many people in my personal experience before they ever consider sitting down and calculating "well, if we cut out the cell phone, get rid of one car, cook this from scratch" (just to make random examples) will put the kids in daycare and go off to work. Being a SAHM is not a vocation held in esteem, or considered a "real job", so it is often overlooked as a realistic option for mothers today. Also, there is not a big differentiation of "needs" and "wants" in American culture, and many people will abandon children for "wants" without realising God provides a great deal for "needs".

I apologise if I insulted anyone, and yes, feeding your family comes before staying home. But I still manitain, most families do not value staying home Moms. When I worked at a daycare, they charged $1200 a month per child. At that price, someone could afford to stay home. My point was not to condemn families who are doing what they can to survive, but our country's cultural philosophy that it is utterly unrealistic for families to survive on one paycheck.

one paycheck Peony blogged below:

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one paycheck

Peony blogged below:

If our society were healthier, it would be easier for more families to make it on one paycheck (or one-and-a-half paychecks) so that moms and dads could keep their households running without killing themselves.

Personally I think there is a huge myth that people need two paychecks. Many people who have small children and two working parents, the income goes out the window because of daycare, transportation, work attire, quick
foods, etc. Money cannot purchase time lost that should be spent with the family and on the home.

Pope Leo XIII in Rerum Novarum states:
13. That right to property, therefore, which has been proved to belong naturally to individual persons, must in like wise belong to a man in his capacity of head of a family; nay, that right is all the stronger in proportion as the human person receives a wider extension in the family group. It is a most sacred law of nature that a father should provide food and all necessaries for those whom he has begotten; and, similarly, it is natural that he should wish that his children, who carry on, so to speak, and continue his personality, should be by him provided with all that is needful to enable them to keep themselves decently from want and misery amid the uncertainties of this mortal life. Now, in no other way can a father effect this except by the ownership of productive property, which he can transmit to his children by inheritance. A family, no less than a State, is, as We have said, a true society, governed by an authority peculiar to itself, that is to say, by the authority of the father.

36...Now, it is to the interest of the community, as well as of the individual, that peace and good order should be maintained; that all things should be carried on in accordance with God's laws and those of nature; that the discipline of family life should be observed and that religion should be obeyed; that a high standard of morality should prevail, both in public and private life; that justice should be held sacred and that no one should injure another with impunity; that the members of the commonwealth should grow up to man's estate strong and robust, and capable, if need be, of guarding and defending their country. If by a strike of workers or concerted interruption of work there should be imminent danger of disturbance to the public peace; or if circumstances were such as that among the working class the ties of family life were relaxed; if religion were found to suffer through the workers not having time and opportunity afforded them to practice its duties; if in workshops and factories there were danger to morals through the mixing of the sexes or from other harmful occasions of evil; or if employers laid burdens upon their workmen which were unjust, or degraded them with conditions repugnant to their dignity as human beings; finally, if health were endangered by excessive labor, or by work unsuited to sex or age-in such cases, there can be no question but that, within certain limits, it would be right to invoke the aid and authority of the law.

46. If a workman's wages be sufficient to enable him comfortably to support himself, his wife, and his children, he will find it easy, if he be a sensible man, to practice thrift, and he will not fail, by cutting down expenses, to put by some little savings and thus secure a modest source of income. Nature itself would urge him to this...

some clarification In her comment

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some clarification

In her comment below, Sparki provides a bit of a reality check:

WOHMs still have to do the laundry, cleaning, visit to library and trip to Target, but they have to squeeze it in after work and on weekends and still give their kids lots of one-on-one time. So from their perspective, a SAHM is lucky to have even a half dozen, 5-minute snatches of time to tend to these things during the day.

I should clarify that when I wrote my post I had a couple of things on my mind. Mainly Pansy's post, which I linked to, but also my naive pre-natal assumption that as a SAHM I was going to effortlessly care for my child, play enriching games all day, keep the house spotless, sew a beautiful wardrobe for both myself and Babykins, and get all my wedding photos into an album. But I didn't mention that part and, alas, Telepathy Blogger has not been released yet. I had no clue of how exhausted I would be after the baby came, and how, while the baby was napping, my first thought was not going to be "time to clean!" but "time to nap!" Right now my "time crunch" is getting things done with a curious, nap-hating toddler around.

Part of the thing that gnaws at me is that when I was growing up, my mom was Mrs. America SAHM. The house was spotless, she sewed clothes for us and for herself, she kept a huge garden (and canned the produce, including her own jelly.) I find myself thinking, how come I'm not doing all that? Part of it is that I may not be remembering things accurately (she may not have been doing all this at her peak until my youngest brother was in preschool); part of it is that that there were some things my mother never, ever did -- like read a book. I do remember that, as a kid, I sometimes wished that my mom would spend some time with us instead of with the housework.

I am very aware of the frenetic life of moms who work outside the home. When I was working, I saw my coworkers dealing with it all the time. One mom dealt with it by just getting a housekeeper and using paper plates for all her meals. Another mom had Kid Cuisine as her personal chef. I saw those frenetic rushes out the door to beat the day-care's deadline, the havoc caused by a child's sickness or an early school closing, the hassle of pumping milk. (Some nurses resented other nurses who breast-fed "too long" because breastfeeding mothers couldn't care for patients receiving certain medications.) And even though my husband and I didn't have any kids, I found myself wishing that I had a little time during the day to tend to house stuff so that we could use our evenings and weekends for other things.

I wish that our society in general had more genuine respect for the importance of housework -- it's no fun to do it, but it's even less fun when it doesn't get done -- and for other "lowly" jobs like caring for small children (and sick people, for that matter.) If our society were healthier, it would be easier for more families to make it on one paycheck (or one-and-a-half paychecks) so that moms and dads could keep their households running without killing themselves.

more SAHM stuff Oh, Pansy,

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more SAHM stuff

Oh, Pansy, I, too, once bought into the myth that SAHM moms have all the time in the world. Then I gave birth, and learned The Truth!

To be fair, when my mom was SAHM'ing, she also sent her kids to school, so she did have a few uninterrupted hours during the day.

How yesterday went: all kinds of funny things. Mrs M. did not show, which worked out okay anyway, but that meant that I had all this coffee and banana bread with nobody to feed it to. (The kitchen guy was all business. He probably gets offered more goodies than Santa.)

The kitchen guy had all kinds of ideas, including a pantry and a built-in table. A pantry! (Right now my pantry is in the family room.) Even the most basic cabinets will be a huge improvement over my current kitchen, which has cheap, undersized cabinets from 1966 (same vintage as the copper double oven; one oven is broken and the other oven is on the way out.) I appreciated that he did not try to hard sell me on fancy features and materials, but instead focused on practical things, like getting some working counter space. (Currently I only have about 24 inches of working space.)

On today's agenda: laundry, a trip to the library, and possibly a trip to Target. I got a fair bit of cleaning done yesterday, both in the kitchen (getting stuff out of the way) and around the house (in preparation for Mrs M, who is a real Minnesota old-school housekeeper.) Hambet did a great job picking up his toys in the family room. It is fun watching him "help." He loves "washing the dishes".

Ain't That the Truth Catholic's

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Ain't That the Truth

Catholic's Exchange's Article on Lent described the sentiment precisely:

The weather in Lent is always chilly and dismal: late, unwelcome, quickly dirtied, I'm-so-sick-of-snow if you live on the East Coast,...

Easter always marked a welcome change in season, both physically and spiritually for me.

SAHM Stuff As I was

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SAHM Stuff

As I was mopping the kitchen floor, grumbling about having to clean up a spill in the fridge (more fridge stuff), trying to teach one child and encourage another to finish breakfast, I started to chuckle to myself about a myth that non-SAHM People have about SAHMs-that we have unlimited amounts of time to do whatever we wish.

I personally find there is never enough time during the day. Of course there would be more if I abandoned blogging, but that will be our secret.

Before we decided to homeschool, we had Rosey Posey in a preschool a few mornings at our local parish (see St. Mary's). A number of working mothers tried to hire me to watch their children after school. Ha! Like I had the time! When my mother was a SAHM with my brothers, she said she used to get the same offers all the time. Of course now that I do not see other Moms while picking up kids at school, I am not asked anymore (thank goodness). Some would not take a simple "no" for an answer. One tried to say "well don't you need the extra money?"

Will Everyone Please Get Better?

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Will Everyone Please Get Better?

My husband is home sick with the nasty high fever-chills, cold symptom, stomach ache thing now. The kids have been fever free for a few days now, but still have no appetite and tire very easily. I also checked the baby's ears and the Ear Check indicates he has an ear infection. I put some Willow Garlic Ear Oil in his ears for now.

I am so hoping I do not get sick because Mom's do not have the luxury of being sick in bed, and this thing looks like one needs quite a few days of rest to recover.

Good ol' Mom My mom

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Good ol' Mom

My mom also told me what to serve for lunch (tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches) and suggested that Hambet's behavior might be due to a growth spurt.

By the way, I think the source of the fridge smell was some old lettuce.

Code Orange in Our Nation's

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Code Orange in Our Nation's Capital

The North Carolina tobacco farmer who drove a tractor into a pond on the Mall maintained his standoff with law enforcement officials overnight and through this morning, creating traffic problems and prompting the federal government to close several buildings due to concerns about public safety....(I think the Washington Post asks a few marketing questions now, but no registration.)

I called my mom in North Dakota this morning to share this important news story with her. She, of course, wanted to know what kind of tractor it was (it's a Deere.)

Oh Poor Peony I can

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Oh Poor Peony

I can relate to not wanting to have people come over in that situation. Gorbulas is clingy and whiney also because he is getting over an illness (poor baby). I cannot get anything done. The Creative Memories lady is supposed to come over to deliver an order. I told her I will leave her check in the mailbox and she can leave the order in the foyer.

It is so beautiful out today and everyone is sick. The worst of the illness is over (high fevers) but they are not well-falling asleep, not eating, etc. I feel so bad for them.

Pansy's Weather Pixie Poor Pansy

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Pansy's Weather Pixie

Poor Pansy was so sad -- my Pixie had an ever-changing array of outfits, but hers was wearing the same old jacket, slacks, and sweater, day after day.

Well, (slapping forehead) maybe it was because her weather wasn't changing! I see that today that the temperature at her place has finally cracked sixty degrees -- and her Pixie is sporting a snappy green shirt and blue pants with a Paisley motif.

sorry, blogged at EXACTLY THE SAME TIME as Pansy's post! Truly the Sleepy Mommies are of one mind.

Yippee! It is finally warm

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Yippee!

It is finally warm enough for my weather pixie to change clothes!!!

Out of Sorts The day

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Out of Sorts

The day started off so well. I got my laundry sorted and the first load in with the crowing of the rooster. Oh, and I found some Schumann piano music available as a free download.

Those were the high points of the day. Hambet has been clingy and whiny all day; he fought his nap furiously and didn't sleep long. Oh, the whining, the horrible whining today! "Mommee! Mooooooommmmmmeeeeeeee! MAMA! MOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEE!" And the climbing, the screaming, the crayon marks on the table, the broken dish, the determination to slip into the closet and pull Daddy's ties to the floor, the stepping on Mommy's toes, the fights over the TV when Mommy says no, the flinging of Mommy's new piano music on the floor and the shredding of the music in the bench....

My refrigerator and freezer both smell funny. I have forgotten my PIN for my ATM card. I have no idea what I'm going to make for supper tonight (I don't care for corned beef, and the lamb stew I had planned didn't work out....) Two acquaintances called me today; I feel unfit for any kind of society, even a chat on the telephone -- utterly dull-witted, like I've been locked away someplace. (Is sheer isolation one of the worst things about being a stay-at-home mom these days?)

We are thinking about having some work done in our kitchen, and the designer is coming tomorrow to take a look and make some preliminary suggestions. I am in a panic because I want to do some cleaning in the kitchen and track down that funny smell, and make some banana bread to feed the guy, but I'm getting nowhere. Plus a friend (an elderly lady whom we met at our old parish) has invited herself over to keep an eye on Hambet while the kitchen guy's here. Hambet is not going to stand for playing with her while this interesting new person is around, plus I'll feel like a heel if I don't ask her to lunch, but I have nothing to feed her and I really don't feel like going to the store. I know I'm spending way too much energy on figuring out what to feed her for lunch but it's preying on my mind.

I hate days like this -- does St Thomas have some catchy name for them? if he does, I bet some St Blogger can tell us -- and it seems they always come when I'm least able to handle them, when I'm already tired and unhappy with myself and am trying to snap out of mentally reviewing the Very Long List of Ways I Messed Up My Life When I Was in my Teens and Early Twenties. Thinking about the ideals of cheerfulness, patience, making a happy Christian home, and all that stuff, becomes an irritation instead of an inspiration. Is it my brain that's messed up, or my soul? I think, well, maybe I could offer it up, and immediately I start craving chocolate.

And I think, well, stop blogging and get back to plugging away, but I dread doing so, because as soon as I try to resume my work I know the piteous whining will start again....

Happy Saint Patrick's Day! St.

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Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

St. Patrick of Ireland is one of the world's most popular saints.
Apostle of Ireland, born at Kilpatrick, near Dumbarton, in Scotland, in the year 387; died at Saul, Downpatrick, Ireland, 17 March, 461.
more...

Everytime I read the Saint Patrick story, the "where he was from" part changes. I was taught as a child that he was born in Northern Africa, in an area that was owned by Italy. It makes sense that this was version that stuck with me being mostly black and Italian. I guess no one really knows for sure...

Today I am making corned beef and cabbage and potato rolls, and maybe some Irish Soda Bread if I have time between sick kids...I like being "festive".

The Winter 2003 issue

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The Winter 2003 issue of The Latin Mass Magazine has an artilce called Seeking Bad Advice about the effects of feminism in the American Church by Donna Steichan (author of Ungodly Rage:The Hidden Face of Catholic Feminism and Prodigal Daughters: Catholic Women Come Home to the Church).

I personally thought the article was excellent, but the point of my blog is not to write a critique of it, but to share a couple of paragraphs out of context from the article that hit home:

Exhortations to sexual morality and modesty in dress have been as uncommon as minuets at a rap concert, and sermons condemning contraception so rare that many Catholics have never heard one. Indeed, many Catholics are unaware that the Church holds contraception to be sinful. Planned Parenthood apparatchiks paint Catholic as pro-life political boiler rooms, but the truth is that sermons on the immorality of abortion are seldom of ever preached there, nor are Catholic politicians who vote for abortion ever condemned.

However well intentioned worshippers in such congregations may be, it is hard for the to love and serve God as faithfully as He deserves when they know so little about Him and His law. What they know best are the transient values of secularb relativism, the very values to which fallen human nature is most readily susceptible.

Sums up a lot for me...

So when will Amazon introduce

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So when will Amazon introduce "Your granola-con store!!!"

Eve Tushnet reflects on crunchy conservatism and whether or not it's just another marketing micro-niche.

...it really is possible and necessary to be not just someone who prefers Gruyere to Velveeta, but someone who prepares himself to sacrifice even the best consumer goods for the sake of disciplining the will, raising more children, keeping in mind the evanescence of this world, and putting God first.

More on My Spirited Child

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More on My Spirited Child

My husband commented about he sees more of Fastolph's personality coming out and how he is much more conversational as of late. Most of the conversations are about Fastolph telling us "I'm big now! I'm big!"

Catholic Exchange has a good

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Catholic Exchange has a good review of Cody Banks.

We are always trying to look for family-friendly movies to see, and from the previews, this movie seemed "off" to me. I personally enjoy movies that I am not uncomfortable watching with my children much better.

Book Corner: Spiritual Reading for

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Book Corner: Spiritual Reading for Toddlers

Let me mention first that I want to try to post once a week about books. In a perfect world it would be on a certain day of the week, but I'm not that organized yet.

Earlier I posted about my dissatisfaction with one of Hambet's board books (The Lord's Prayer, illustrated by Maggie Swanson, published by Regina Press.)

When Hambet and I read books together, we spend a lot of that time discussing the pictures. He refers to this book (and others like it) as "kids" because that's who he sees in the pictures. And that's fine, but when I read him a book like this I want to talk about Jesus and Mary with Hambet, not about "kids."

This week I found a couple of board books that I really liked. Strangely, they are in the same series as The Lord's Prayer.


The Guardian Angel Book presents the Angel of God, my guardian dear prayer in a phrase for each page spread. The pictures show a guardian angel follows a brother and sister through their day. They just do kid stuff -- breakfast, playing outside, stuff like that; the only danger picture is the one on the front where they are crossing the stream. My only quibble with the pictures is that the angel is female.

I really like Mary's Prayer. The text is the Hail Mary, a phrase for each spread, and the pictures are of the events commemorated in the Joyful Mysteries. So lots of stuff to talk about with Hambet: "Mary! Angel! Izzabeff!" The fifth and last picture is not of the Finding in the Temple, but of Mary and the Christ Child surrounded by modern-day kids.

Another Nativity book that Hambet and I really enjoy is The Christmas Story.

The illustrations are just lovely. Baby Jesus is shown as a real infant. The picture where He's gazing at Mary's face, with His tiny, delicate baby fingers in the air and His little fuzz of baby hair just covering His head -- it just gives me the goosebumps.

Another big favorite with Hambet is Little Acts of Grace, by Rosemarie Gortler and Donna Piscitelli.


.

This book is actually intended for older children, but Hambet already loves it. Each page presents a different sacramental action (sorry, can't think of a better way to phrase it) -- making the Sign of the Cross (properly,) using Holy Water, dressing properly for Mass, bowing one's head at the Name of Jesus -- and discusses the action as "a little way" to show our love for God. The pictures are richly colored, and full of images and ideas to discuss. ("See, that boy is thinking about Jesus. He's saying he's sorry for pushing his friend." Later, we can talk about how the picture of Jesus shows His Divine Mercy.) The people in the pictures are a diverse crowd too, reflecting reality.

Hambet and I had a really nice reading session over this book the other night. He drifted off to sleep murmuring "Meh-wy... kids.... Bless' 'Ment (Blessed Sacrament)....)

The authors have a new book coming out this month, Just Like Mary.




I haven't seen this book yet, but I'm looking forward to it. The only thing that worries me is Our Sunday Visitor's description of the book:

From her Immaculate Conception to her Ascension, here is the story of Mary told in a way that will charm and delight your children.....You’ll be pleased to see that they’re learning solid Marian doctrine....

Oh yeah? I hope that bit about "her Ascension" is only on the webpage and not in the book. (I suspect that's the case.)

Pansy's Friday Five 1. Do

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Pansy's Friday Five

1. Do you like talking on the phone? Why or why not? Yes, because I get lonely for adult conversation since I am a SAHM. But only if it is with a like-minded friend. I do not like wasting time talking on the phone talking about nonsense or arguing.

2. Who is the last person you talked to on the phone? Husband.

3. About how many telephones do you have at home? Two.

4. Have you encountered anyone who has really bad phone manners? What happened? Can you say telemarketers? They call at dinner time asking me for an hour about my favourite alcoholic beverage, what movie I saw or the brand yogurt I eat. I have literally said "I have to go, my dinner is on the table!" and they will not get off. Now I screen my calls with an answering machine.

5. Would you rather pick up the phone and call someone or write them an e-mail or a letter? Why or why not? Email. As rude as this sounds, sometimes I am not in the mood for small talk, especially when I just want to get a point across. This is more so since I had children, again not really having chit chat phone time. Also, if the person is not home, they will get an email eventually.

Funny thing is most people I know are afraid of the computer or something.

Since we have been on

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Since we have been on the topic of names

I think some of my fellow parishioners at St. Blogs have the coolest names, like out of an elegant novel.
Ellyn Von Huben, Elinor Dashwood, Eve Tushnet
I always thought my name was kind of, well not so neat sounding growing up, but maybe Ellyn, Elinor and Eve thought that way about their names?

Class Report Hambet did so

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Class Report

Hambet did so well in class today! He shed not a single tear during the Hello Song. He even gave taking a ride in the parachute a try (those tots that want to sit in the middle of the parachute, while adults and non-riding tots take the edge of the chute and walk in the circle, so the chute becomes like a merry-go-round.)

The downside of his feeling so secure in class, though, is that he is starting to walk up to his little classmates and take toys out of their hands.

A nice piece on a

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A nice piece on a lovely periodical

George Weigel on Magnificat.

A sample:

...it is beautifully designed, with splendid covers, elegant typography and art, and what we used to call “bible paper,” it’s something people want to have, and don’t mind paying to subscribe to. Moreover, the beauty of Magnificat as a publication does justice to the majesty of its material — unlike so many other “worship aids” (that phrase again!), which are, to be gentle, ugly as sin....

Peony's Friday Five 1. Do

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Peony's Friday Five

1. Do you like talking on the phone? Why or why not? Depends on whom I'm talking with. I do enjoy settling in for a good yak with a friend or with my mom.

2. Who is the last person you talked to on the phone? My husband.

3. About how many telephones do you have at home? Four (a cell makes five)

4. Have you encountered anyone who has really bad phone manners? What happened? I've talked to some really rude people on the phone, but they would have been rude in person as well. (I particularly hate being addressed by my first name in professional settings. Note to store clerks and doctors' and dentists' office staff everywhere: I have a last name. USE IT.)

I think the worst was when, at work, I had to call a person who worked at an embassy. Our rule at work was to always allow the customer to signal the end of the conversation (to make sure all their concerns had been addressed). This guy seemed oblivious to the fact that I was trying to allow him to end the call. So we were trapped in this endless loop, where I would say, "Is there anything else I can help you with?" He would respond with some small thing, I would respond and add, "Anything else?" He'd come up with something, I'd reply and add, "Anything else?" (or some variation) It was gruesome. All he had to say was, "No, I'm okay" and we could have said goodbye but instead he hung up on me while I was talking to him. After that I added, "Thanks for bringing this to our attention, if I can be of further assistance here's my number..." to my list of stock telephone phrases.

5. Would you rather pick up the phone and call someone or write them an e-mail or a letter? Why or why not? I often prefer to use email. That way I'm not interrupting; the other person can read the email at her convenience. I can also stick to the point and not get sucked into awkward conversations with someone who has a vague sense that it's rude to end a phone conversation. Sometimes I'll send an email saying "I am going to call you."

By request: The Star Wars

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By request:

The Star Wars Name Generator

--Elicu Nisac

Looking for ideas for a

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Looking for ideas for a nom de blog?

Bummed that Peony and Pansy Moss are already taken? Perhaps this might help, from an email sent to me by another mommy:

In the children's book, Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants by Dave Pilkey, the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names.

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a = poopsie
b = lumpy
c = buttercup
d = gidget
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = fluffy
h = cheeseball
i = chim-chim
j = stinky
k = flunky
l = boobie
m = pinky
n = zippy
o = goober
p = doofus
q = slimy
r = loopy
s = snotty
t = tulefel
u = dorkey
v = squeezit
w = Oprah
x = skipper
y = dinky
z = zsa-zsa

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = apple
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = burger
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = bubble
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice



So if Peony Moss ever wears thin, I could become Chim-chim Chickenface. And we could continue to plug the parenting books of Crusty Bubbleface.

Alicia from Fructus Ventris writes in the comment box:

I have a great granola recipe if you are interested.

Here is mine from Quicker,
Lighter, Better


Granola Topping or Cereal

2 cups old-fashioned or quick cooking oats, not instant

1 cup broken walnuts or sliced almonds or a combination

1/2 cup dark or golden raisins or a combination

1/3 cup honey

1 tablespoon mild vegetable oil

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1.Heat oven to 350 degrees F.

2. Spread the oatmeal, nuts, and raisins in a 13 x 9-inch baking pan.

3. In a small saucepan, combine the honey, oil, and cinnamon. Bring to a boil. Pour over the oats and stir until evenly distributed. Bake 25-30 minutes, stirring frequently, until the mixture is golden. Cool mixture in the baking pan. Crumble the granola into small pieces when it is cooled. Store in a jar or plastic bag.

Proud to be a granolacon

|

Proud to be a granolacon

Thanks to Woodene at HMS Blog for this link to another article on granola conservatism.

When I think of granola conservatism, I think of Caelum et Terra. Check out the text articles reprinted on the web site, the current newsletter, and the email discussion list. I suspect there are many C-and-T'ers around St Blogs, both blogging and commenting.

(just for the sake of accuracy, I don't happen to eat granola, but if I did I'd make my own!)

Talking about partial-birth abortion....

The Curt Jester brings us this link about the little girl Barbara Boxer tried to hide.

A sample:

When Lori was pregnant with Donna Joy, doctors and the Wattses' insurance carrier tried to bully her into having a partial-birth abortion after a sonogram revealed that parts of Donna Joy's brain were missing.... The Wattses were told that their child had "no chance" for survival and this procedure was "necessary" to protect Lori's health because their baby's head was so enlarged....

Soon, Lori and Donald would understand their motive. It was cheaper for the insurance company and it guaranteed a dead baby – not one who would require surgery and expensive medical care.

THANK GOD Elizabeth Smart --

|

THANK GOD

Elizabeth Smart -- the girl who was kidnapped from her parents' home last year -- has been found -- alive -- and has been reunited with her parents.

I was too upset

|

I was too upset to blog about this before!

They are cancelling Buffy The Vampire Slayer after this season.

Actually, while part of me is really sad, they cannot seem to bring it back to the same show it was the first few seasons. Dawn whines too much, Willow and the gay thing, Buffy and Spike when Angel is supposed to be her True Love, but he can't be because they are on different networks...maybe it's just time.

Wow! Greg Popcak Book

|

Wow! Greg Popcak Book Fans R Us!

Davey's Mommy just blogged about the same book! So funny!

We're into the "attachment parenting" concept, which Popcak does a great job explaining and promoting.

My Spirited Child My Fastolph

|

My Spirited Child

My Fastolph is what
Mary Sheedy Kurcinka would probably call a "Spirited Child".
He is full of energy, inquisitive, physically strong, and verbal . I have been having quite a hard time with him. I realised as I mentioned before, that my parenting skills were sorely lacking.

A few years ago a friend gave me the book To Train Up a Child. The basic premise of the book is that if a child misbehaves, they should get "switched" for their wrongdoings. That power struggles should be sought out, and basically, the child's will be broken (my analysis). While the Protestant-ness of the book did not appeal to me, the idea of not allowing a child to walk all over you did. I see so many snotty, spoiled children with no respect for their parents, themselves or anyone, raising children to turn out that way scared me.

When Fastolph's personality started to blossom, I found that he was getting switched at every turn with no end in sight to his bad behaviour. I abandoned the method, but felt lost as to what to do now.

I recently (finally) got a copy of Parenting With Grace by Greg and Lisa Popcak. I have only been through the first 100 pages, but the difference in my Fastolph is amazing. You would think it was so simple. I cannot go into great detail yet because I want to finish the book, but if I can sum up what I have done differently, I would start with the Golden Rule. I started to attempt to treat him just as I would want to be treated and forgot all about this "I am Mother, I am here; You are Child, You are there!" stuff. Basically it is like putting the same effort into building the
relationship with my children like I do with my marriage (communication, service, love, etc.).

For example, if Fastolph asked me for something, and the answer was "no", I would just say "no" and we would start with a temper tantrum. Now I make a point of explaining to him why I said "no" until I truly think he understands, and attempt to redirect him. "No, we cannot play that game now because I actually have no idea where it is. How about we colour a picture together instead?" Also, "but first you need to eat and get dressed. If you do not eat and get dressed, it is your choice to not play that game..."

OK, I have to read some more of the book, but the Popcaks are awesome in my opinion.

Grrrrrrr I am really bummed.

|

Grrrrrrr

I am really bummed. There was recently a law suit in New York about the Physics Regents exams. The Board of Regents was being sued because people from some more wealthy areas of NY State were not passing the tests-even though the wealthy public schools were supposed to be the best, and the students the smartest. Guess, what, students did not pass, and what to do? Study more physics? Improve the science department at the schools? No, sue the Office of Assesment for making the tests harder. The law suit was thrown out. As a result, the NY Times has published an article about my father (Dr. Gerald DeMauro) which is not true. Where is it not true? Pretty much the whole thing such as, no one called him and spoke to him before this article was written.

Sorry about the rant and the whining, but I am so bummed!

Abortion and Fruits of the

|

Abortion and Fruits of the Spirit-Part II

When I was an adolescent, I think I was the only one I knew who was not only Pro-life, but did not have an abortion. When I was 17, my "best friend" had an abortion. Actually, I came to find out later the number was more like 4 abortions...

I thought she was my best friend. We were on the cheerleading squad together in High School, she was the Matron of Honour at my wedding, I was her son's Godmother-you get the picture. I had to end our friendship because I found out later she was bending anyone's ear who would listen, including my husband, about my secret life. When no one was looking I was having numerous affairs and had 6 abortions. I mean the rumours she was spreading, she must have really hated me.

I never understood what the deal was, I just distanced myself as much as possible as quickly as possible.

Lately, I am wondering what part abortion may have played in that whole fiasco. Only because "abortion" seemed to come up time and again. Not that I think everyone who has an abortion gets so jealousy ridden they cannot think straight, but I certainly think there is something to be said about the fact society does not allow women to mourn such a loss and especially not say "Oh Gosh, I really f***ed up!".

We know mortal sin robs a person's soul of grace and one of the side effects is basically not being able to make "right" decisions clearly. How is abortion ever a good thing for anyone...

Sometimes I feel like I am in a sound proof room screaming about how abortion does nothing to help anyone...

Typhoid Peony Last week, out

|

Typhoid Peony

Last week, out of the blue, I got a call from a college classmate. I hadn't seen or talked to her since 1997, so I was very surprised and happy to hear from her. Turns out she also has gotten married, and has two children -- one a little older than Hambet and another 6 months old.

I was supposed to head over to her place tomorrow for a play date and lunch. I told her I'd bring dessert, and I was just starting a cake this afternoon when she gave me a call and asked to postpone the lunch -- her older child was sick.

So we'll get together next week. But why is this happening? This winter, every darn time I've tried to set up a play date, the other kid(s) get sick! Over and over again!

*sigh* Oh well. The county nature center is having a puppet show tomorrow, so I'll freeze the cake for later and we'll go to the puppet show for our alternate outing for the day. But why does it seem like I'm spreading illness through the phone?

Veggie Tales Well, we rented

|

Veggie Tales

Well, we rented something that was supposed to be a "best of" Veggie Tales -- there were supposed to be a couple of episodes and a Silly Songs countdown. But, silly me, I forgot to check the tape before I left Blockbuster and got home to find what was essentially a commercial for the Jonah movie. They had a couple of songs from Jonah, but mostly it was the tomato and the cucumber standing around on a kitchen table trying to get the asparagus to come out and be in the Jonah movie (which made no sense, as they played clips from the Jonah movie starring the asparagus.) There were also a couple of songs with people, but I was there for the Veggies, so those did not interest me.

Hambet seemed mildly interested in the Veggies, and my husband and I really liked the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. So I think we'll check out the Veggies again soon.

Meanwhile Blockbuster has earned a permalink on my Bad List, right up there with Best Buy.

So Peony, what's the verdict?

|

So Peony, what's the verdict?

Did you watch Veggie Tales? Was it King George and the Ducky (one I highly recommend for those new to VeggieTaledom)? What did you think?

Abortion and the Fruits of

|

Abortion and the Fruits of the Spirit

A few weeks ago I blogged about how I did not understand that if abortion is such a good thing, why is everyone that abortion touches so unhappy? I did not understand to what dimension this is true until I read Ashli's recent blogs from the Abortion Crime Report. Wow.

I honestly think the evil of abortion not only creeps into those who are directly involved in abortion, but into how we view children in our society as a whole. I was chit chatting with my parents recently about how common daycare is. When I worked at a daycare, people would drop their small babies off from 8.30 am until 5.30 pm. They would take them home and put them down for a nap, and then go off for the weekend and leave the children with their parents or go away on vacation sans children. This seems to be more common in practice than not. The children that we decide to have, we do not seem to value. It is my personal opinion that this is a side effect of our abortive/contraceptive Culture of Death.

This is fun: Psychic Flash

|

This is fun:

Psychic Flash Movie
I had a heck of a time figuring out how it worked...

More on Pat Buchanan Kevin

|

More on Pat Buchanan

Kevin Miller at HMS Blog is way more succinct than I was in wondering about Mr. Buchanan.

Hmmm..........

This morning Hambet was sitting on my lap as I did a little Web surfing before starting the laundry. When I opened the blog page he saw the picture of Our Lady up there in the corner and offered the following reflections:

Hambet: "Baby Jesus! Mary! Hi Mary!"
Peony: "Yes, that's Baby Jesus and Mary. What's Baby Jesus doing?"
Hambet: "Baby Jesus. Sad. Mary. Sad."
Peony: (huh?) "Is Baby Jesus sad? Look, can you see, Baby Jesus is having nursies."
Hambet: "Mary sad. Sorry, Mary. Sorry. Sad. Sorry, Mary."
Peony: "Why is Mary sad?"
Hambet: (long silence; notices pencil cup:) "I want pencil cup play with please. Pencil! Draw!" etc

Now I Know Why!I never

|

Now I Know Why!
I never before understood why everything has a website until I started blogging. Now I know it is for the purpose of adding hyperlinks in a blog.

Here's a "for example":

It was getting close to lunch time. I was getting ready to prepare my children a box of Annie's Macaroni and Cheese and some Bangkok
Curry Instant Soup
for myself. Then my husband surprised us by coming home for lunch bearing gifts of M and M's and Cert's because he had just stopped at Hannaford's supermarket on the way home. It was an esecially great day because he told me to put away the soup and mac and cheese because he was taking us to McDonald's where we could get a soft drink, but I could not remember if they served Coke or Pepsi.

On the way home, we stopped off at Christmas Tree Shops where they were selling what looked like Razor Scooters. We did not buy anything though, just browsed.

Nuthin' much I measured out

|

Nuthin' much

I measured out my garden yesterday. We want to expand the garden and put paving stones around it so it's easier to get at the plants and mow the surrounding lawn. So it looks like we'll have some digging to do, expanding the garden by four feet one way and one foot the other.

I succumbed to St Blog's peer pressure and rented a Veggie Tales video (i have never seen the Veggies!) so we'll check that out sometime this week.

Mark Shea has a nice piece up on Parrot Prayer. He also touches on the habit among some fundamentalists of using "just" , in the words of one of chirp's commenters a few weeks ago, "like so much pepper" in their prayers: "Lord, I just want to thank you for this beautiful day and for just making us able to enjoy it and just worship you and praise you this morning," etc

I would like to find a nice little Morning Offering to start teaching Hambet. So far he has not mimicked prayers, but will sometimes start talking about "Baby Jesus, Meh-ry, Jo-feff."

I wish there were more religous board books available with both good text and really nice illustrations. His "Our Father" board book (a gift) has a picture of Jesus on the front, but no pictures of Him on the inside -- just an androgynous kid playing with a dog. Other board books have better text, but really ugly illustrations.

I have been a seriously sleepy Mommy the last couple of days. Not physically tired, but mentally tired, early in the evening. I've been thinking about bed as early as six at night and haven't lasted long beyond eight thirty or nine before I succumb to the craving for REM sleep. And when I get to sleep, I've been having long, vivid dreams, so intense that I'm tired when I wake up from dreaming. I wonder what's going on? (and no, I'm not pregnant....)

Saturday Stuff Yesterday we packed

|

Saturday Stuff

Yesterday we packed up the kids and took a trip to Howe Caverns which is an indoor cave with all kinds of neat rock formations like stalactites, stalacmites and even an indoor river complete with boatride. The kids thought it was very cool (so did we).

Then we went to Bugaboo Creek Steakhouse for a late lunch/early dinner. This is an interestting Canadian-themed-kid-friendly-with-a-big-bar-restaurant. It is decorated with moose heads, buffalo heads and all sorts of "lodgy" looking taxidermy that are actually animatronic and come to life when ever Mom's head is turned. It is usually fun, but for whatever reason, they forgot my and my hubby's burgers until after the kids were done eating their food, which turned quickly into a nightmare with a bored baby...

Interracial Friendships Kevin Miller at

|

Interracial Friendships

Kevin Miller at HMS blog posted on an article about interracial friendships that, in my opinion had some fact, but a divisive purpose. I responded to Mr. Miller at HMS blog and he posted my reply...

Peony! As I was typing

|

Peony!

As I was typing this, the cookie jar came to mind as "putting tack to good use!" I still want one of those too! LOL!

Putting tack to good use

|

Putting tack to good use

HA, Pansy! remember once when you were ripping on the Friar Tuck cookie jar -- and I got to tell you about how my MOM has one? (hers is much cuter than the one in the catalog.)

Well, uh, Peony... I was

|

Well, uh, Peony...

I was going to get my Posco a baseball Rosary. OK, OK, yes, I do think it is a bit tacky, but I like putting tack to good use. We are redoing the boys room in a Yankees theme, and I was going to stick the picture up of Jesus playing baseball with the little boy and a baseball rosary up. If it has to be baseball, it's better if it's Catholic and baseball. Hee hee!

Sacramentals that make you go

|

This and that

|

This and that

Finally made it to Tiny Tots Funfit this morning -- the class has been cancelled, Friday after Friday, because of the weather. We have missed as many classes as we have attended (four.) Hambet did much better this morning -- we met the teacher early and asked her to show him her tape player. That seemed to help -- he still burst into tears as soon as the tape went on, but the tears only lasted through the first half of the Hello Song, and he participated happily in every activity after that.

One of the other little boys comes with his daddy, who looks like he might serve our country by jumping out of airplanes. It's cute to see this big tall soldier playing the games and being so patient with his little boy.

Afterwards we stopped by the grocery store (milk, fish, Cinnamon Puffins, maple syrup.) Lunch; bill-paying; discovery that stickers and address labels are very interesting to two-year-olds.

Down in one of our comments boxes, Katheryn had some questions about HTML -- talk about the myopic leading the severly myopic! Anyway, for those who are interested, I have learned buckets from Annabella's HTML Help. Her site is very clear and simple. Her color palettes are great -- you just click on the color and she gives you the color name or hex code, as well as showing you what the color looks like as a background color and as a font color. I've added a link button to her site -- it's down there at the bottom of our links.

Time to tidy up and start thinking about dinner. Friday evening arrived so quickly!

The Friday Five

|

1. What was the last song you heard?
The "Good-bye Song" at Hambet's Tiny Tots class this morning.

2. What were the last two movies you saw?
Does video count? then it would be "Signs" and "Monsters, Inc." In the theater? "Possession" and "The Fellowship of the Ring."

3. What were the last three things you purchased?
Other than groceries and developed photos? Ummmm...... ummmmmmmm...... Mothers' Manual by Father A. Francis Coomes. A recipe binder, a pizza stone, and a greeting card for a wedding present.

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?
Scan photos. Measure my garden patch and plan the garden. Start reading The No-cry Sleep Solution (Elizabeth Pantley). Go to Mass on Sunday..

5. Who are the last five people you talked to?
Hambet; my good friend (on the phone); my husband (on the phone); the lady at the bank (on the phone); the checkout lady at the grocery store.

Peony, I know I am

|

Peony, I know I am extremely crunchy when it comes to childbirth options and pre-natal interventions. I never pretended to be the level headed Sleepy Mommy either. I remember reading that C-sections were not allowed unless truly necessary, as well as inductions. Yet most people I know from real life have never truly needed either...

Why would anyone who does not need a C-section want one? Then again, I, the not so level headed Sleepy Mommy cannot even understand why someone would choose an epidural over water when they have the choice...

HMS Blog on elective primary

|

HMS Blog on elective primary C-sections

(sorry about the duplicate. I didn't see that Pansy had already blogged on this article.)

Kevin Miller starts the discussion and Greg Popcak comments.

Elective primary C-sections. Mothers having their first baby who choose to have a scheduled C-section:

More women are scheduling Caesarean sections for the delivery of a first child, a trend that doctors writing in today's New England Journal of Medicine say is ethically defensible....

...for a variety of reasons, ranging from the convenience of scheduling the delivery to the perception that C-sections reduce the risk of incontinence, more patients are asking about the option, according to doctors in Pittsburgh and across the country.

This is nuts. Nuts that these mothers are trying to control their children down to choosing their birthdays, nuts that their doctors aren't trying to reassure them that having a vaginal birth does not condemn you to incontinence (and wouldn't it be nice if women's reproductive health addressed this more? and publicized the recent advances that have been made in treating this?)

I wonder how much the lack of family and social support plays into this? In a new-baby haze I once fantasized about having an elective C-section if I were ever pregnant again, so I could deliver while my mother was in town to help me....

Greg Popcak talks about C-sections

|

Greg Popcak talks about C-sections from an AP perspective...
His perspective is as refreshing as always.

In the News The President

|

In the News

The President is holding a press conference tonight at 8:00 PM.

The bill in the Maryland General Assembly attacking the seal of the confessional has died in committee.

There is some kind of bill in the Maryland General Assembly -- I think it's just been introduced -- reasserting a mother's right to breastfeed her baby any time, any place. (Sorry no link yet, just heard the news in passing on the radio and haven't been able to find a link yet.) Apparently a federal court has already ruled on this (protecting the right to breastfeed) but mothers are still getting harassed. (I personally have not encountered this, but when I was attending LLL, the leaders had talked to several women who had.) As I was typing this, I originally wrote "woman's right" instead of "mother's right." Hey, National Organization for a few old Women, where are you on this? Are you out there sticking up for a woman's right to choose breastfeeding? to use her body for what it was designed for?

I finally got the pictures back from Best Buy -- a day late and with a double helping of attitude, but I've got them, and the order wasn't screwed up. Watch this space!

Spring is coming! Our snow is melting and I can see our garden patch -- I'll try to get out there to measure it tomorrow. The song birds are coming back -- I saw a cardinal in the yard this morning. And there are buds on the little dogwood tree we planted in the front yard last fall! I also saw some suspicious digging in one of the flower beds; I hope that chipmunk has not been chowing on my bulbs.

Sentence of the day: "Drink juice, Mama please. Yes!"

A Lenten offering Are you

|

A Lenten offering

Are you trying to make sincere resolutions? Ask Our Lord to help you to take a tough line with yourself, for love of him; to help you apply, with all naturalness, the purifying touch of mortification to everything you do. Ask him to help you to spend yourself in his service, silently and unnoticed, like the flickering lamp that burns beside the Tabernacle. And if you can't think of anything by way of a definite answer to the divine guest who knocks at the door of your heart, listen well to what I have to tell you.

Penance is fulfilling exactly the timetable you have fixed for yourself, even though your body resists or your mind tries to avoid it by dreaming up useless fantasies. Penance is getting up on time and also not leaving for later, without any real reason, that particular job that you find harder or most difficult to do.

Penance is knowing how to reconcile your duties to God, to others and to yourself, by making demands on yourself so that you find enough time for each of your tasks. You are practising penance when you lovingly keep to your schedule of prayer, despite feeling worn out, listless or cold.

Penance means being very charitable at all times towards those around you, starting with the members of your own family. It is to be full of tenderness and kindness towards the suffering, the sick and the infirm. It is to give patient answers to people who are boring and annoying. It means interrupting our work or changing our plans, when circumstances make this necessary, above all when the just and rightful needs of others are involved.

Penance consists in putting up good-humouredly with the thousand and one little pinpricks of each day; in not abandoning your job, although you have momentarily lost the enthusiasm with which you started it; in eating gladly whatever is served, without being fussy.

For parents and, in general, for those whose work involves supervision or teaching, penance is to correct whenever it is necessary. This should be done bearing in mind the type of fault committed and the situation of the person who needs to be so helped, not letting oneself be swayed by subjective viewpoints, which are often cowardly and sentimental.

A spirit of penance keeps us from becoming too attached to the vast imaginative blueprints we have made for our future projects, where we have already foreseen our master strokes and brilliant successes. What joy we give to God when we are happy to lay aside our third-rate painting efforts and let him put in the features and colours of his choice!

St Josemaria Escriva, Friends of God, 138

Can I make this my

|

Can I make this my home page?

The Curt Jester alerts us to St Anthony's Search Engine.

So What's Wrong with AP

|

So What's Wrong with AP Parenting?

I have been reading Greg and Lisa Popcak's Parenting With Grace, (which is an awesome book by the way). On page 13 the Popcaks say:

Divine Revelation that is at least as important as Scripture-Creation itself-which the Church has referred to as the "Book of Nature."

Why am I bringing this up? I have been as of late going through some major reassesments of my parenting approach. I am in new territory with my older two children, and I am screwing up, not big time, but I am. So I have been reflecting "where" my mess ups lie.

For example, I yell a lot. I do not mean to, I try not to, but I do. I have been thinking "when did I start yelling?" (Before I go on, let me state, this is in no way saying others are responsible for my shortcomings, my shortcomings are my own).

When RoseyPosey was a baby, I worked at a daycare (never again). It seemed cool because I "needed" a job and she could come with me to work. One day when we were trying to leave, PoseyPosey was being an inquisitive toddler and was looking at toys, and mind you, she was only about 18 months. I asked her "RoseyPosey, time to go." She ignored me and I asked again. While it is hard to describe, I did not feel she was misbehaving, but curious, and it did not bother me. I gave her a minute to put to absorb "time to leave" and when I asked again, she put the toy down and we left.

The next day, a co-worker who was a mother of two teenagers told me I was waaayyyy too tolerant with my daughter and I didn't put enough "gusto" in my voice. The conversation went on to describe how none of them "put up with anything" from their children and yelled a lot. It was soon after I began my bad habit of yelling.

Now here is finally the point of this blog. There are many times after this, that I was told my instincts were incorrect in regard to mothering. Some other examples would be:

  • "You cannot let that baby sleep with you."
  • "Put that baby down or she will never let you put her down."
  • "You need to wean him, he is too old!"

I was very young when I had RoseyPosey (20), so I never trusted my instincts when people gave me advice or more importantly the "right way" to do things.I find myself wishing I put more stock in my instincts because I have to undo bad parenting habits-ones I never would have even considered if not for the "advice" I received. I also wonder at what point instinctive parenting became wrong?

It feels good to know that when God sends us children, He doesn't just say "here's a kid, OK, you figure out the rest..." but has wired us with some info on how to raise them. I am actually learning (or relearning) what "feels natural" in regards to my parenting choices are more positive then the ones I am directed to do more often then not.

Book Report: The Death of

|

Book Report: The Death of the West by Patrick J. Buchanan

A few weeks ago, Pansy came across a blurb for this book in a catalog and blogged on her impression. (At this writing, the archive for that week – and only that week – is missing, so I can’t link to the original discussion.) I had the opportunity to read the book over the last week, and am keeping my promise to bring up the book again. (I call this a book report rather than a review because this blog is going to have more in common with a schoolchild’s hastily written summary of a hastily read book than with a review written by an expert.)

In this book, Buchanan takes a look at demographic forecasts for Europe, the USA, and other Westernized countries versus Asia and Africa. He discusses in detail the implications of Europe and Japan’s baby bust and resulting population crash:

“If one hundred Spanish young people marry today, they can expect to have fifty-eight children, thirty-three grandchildren, but only nineteen great-grandchildren.” (p. 17)

“At present birthrates, Europe must bring in 169 million immigrants by 2050 if it wishes to keep its population aged fifteen to sixty-four at today’s level. But if Europe wishes to keep its present ration of 4.8 workers (fifteen-sixty-four) for every senior, Europe must bring in 1.4 billion emigrants from Africa and the Middle East. Put another way: Either Europe raises taxes and radically downsizes pensions and health benefits for the elderly, or Europe becomes a Third World continent. There is no third way.” (p. 22)

“Societies organized to ensure the maximum pleasure, freedon, and happiness for all their members are, at the same time, advancing the date of their own funerals. Fate may compensate the Chinese, Islamic, and Latin people for their hardships and poverty in this century with the domination of the earth in the next.” (p. 34)

Buchanan discusses the roots of the baby bust: contraception; abortion; the contemporary economic pressures on families; a culture that prizes self-gratification over self-donation and sacrifice, that teaches that women must abandon their fertility to be fulfilled, that looks on children as a burden. He devotes several chapters to analyzing the prevailing secularist culture and its ideological origins. Buchanan traces the spread of “political correctness,” the sexual revolution, and other anti-traditional, anti-Western ideas to the Marxist intellectuals of “The Frankfurt School,” who realized that Marxism would only prevail by destroying Christianity and the family, thus capturing the culture. He also discusses the “everything the U.S.A. ever did is wrong” school of teaching US history.

Buchanan is probably most controversial because of his views on immigration. After his discussion of the problems resulting from large numbers of immigrants into Europe, he moves on to immigration in the US, in a chapter titled, “La Reconquista.” He singles out Mexican immigration as a special issue because of the sheer numbers of immigrants from Mexico, their concentration in the Southwest, the number of illegal immigrants, and what he sees as difficulty assimilating them:

“Mexicans not only come from another culture, but millions are of another race. History and experience teach us that different races are far more difficult to assimilate. The sixty million Americans who claim German ancestry are fully assimilated, while millions from Africa and Asia are still not full participants in American society….Millions [of Mexicans] have no desire to learn English or to become citizens. America is not their home; Mexico is; and they wish to remain proud Mexicans. They have come here to work…With their own radio and TV stations, newspapers, films, and magazines, the Mexican Americans are creating an Hispanic culture separate and apart form America’s larger culture. They are becoming a nation within a nation.” (p. 125-126)

Buchanan contends that Mexico still dreams about recapturing the territory she lost to the US, and that this attitude may be shared by recent Mexican immigrants who come to America to work, not to become Americans. “Why should nationalistic and patriotic Mexicans not dream of a reconquista?” (p. 130) He cites the agenda and actions of MEChA, a radical Chicano student group, and other radical Hispanic groups, as further examples of this threat.

Buchanan discusses other Western nations that have had problems with groups desiring secession, including Canada, and suggests that “California could become another Quebec, with demands for formal recognition of its separate and unique Hispanic culture and identity….” (p 140)

So what are we to do about all this? Buchanan suggests adopting pro-natal, pro-family policies: allowing (not requiring) employers to pay higher wages to parents than to single people and giving them tax incentives to do so; increasing the federal tax credit for each child instead of giving a tax deduction for day care (“America does not need more workers; America needs more children”); shifting the corporate tax burden to larger corporations; abolishing the estate tax for family business and estates worth less that five million dollars; making up lost revenue for these pro-family tax policies by increasing taxes on consumption and duties on imports. “If America has a crisis, it is certainly not a lack of imported consumer goods down at the mall.”

As for immigration, Buchanan suggests rolling back legal immigration to 250,000 each year and restricting welfare benefits to citizens; eliminating the H-1B program for high-tech workers (I believe it grants them special work visas); not having any more amnesties for illegal aliens; deporting illegal aliens that are already here; prosecuting companies who repeatedly flout US immigration law and hire illegal aliens; providing English immersion education for immigrant children who cannot speak English and making English the official language of the US.

Buchanan also puts in suggestions for fighting and winning the culture war: defiance of political correctness, focused citizen boycotts, initiatives and referenda, defunding offensive art, teaching history….

So what do you really think, Peony?

Basically, I see his argument as boiling down to:

The secularist counterculture has broken down family life and is discouraging people from having children. We also are not teaching history and teaching what children we do have from loving their country and their culture. We don’t love our culture ourselves, so we aren’t insisting that immigrants share in it. And if we don’t love our culture enough to have children and pass it on to them, and to insist that immigrants share in it, we’re going to lose our culture.

I can buy that. But I do have some quibbles with his vision.

To me, the most interesting parts of the book were the sections on demographics. I think that people who don’t know history may be prone to assume that everything will stay the way it is now, and ‘tain’t necessarily so! If you put off having a family because you like having lots of money and getting to sleep late on Sundays, what’s going to happen when you retire? Are you still going to have lots of money? Will there be any one to care for you? If you like being a European, what are you doing to make sure you can keep the life you love? Buchanan makes a good point in that Muslim immigrants to Europe may want to shape Europe in their image instead of letting Europe shape them; he cites an anecdote in which Muslim immigrants in Denmark wanted to reshape Danish law to conform more closely to Muslim law. Buchanan does not discuss AIDS at length, but AIDS is the wild card.

As for Buchanan’s vision for America, I’m not sure I share the same dream of an idyllic America in the ‘fifties. When Buchanan discusses “traditional American culture”, it’s sometimes right next to discussion of the birth rate of whites. I simply don’t think it’s accurate to think of American history as being “mostly whites with a few Negroes in there.” And who are these Africans and Asians who aren’t assimilating? Certainly not my Korean, Vietnamese, Cambodian, and Chinese schoolmates, many of whom were not born in this county. When he discusses the attack on American history (the “Columbus Day should be a day of mourning” attitude), the majority of his examples are of attacks on the use of the Confederate battle flag and of honoring Confederate war heroes such as Robert E. Lee. Buchanan’s sympathies clearly seem with the South:

“To our new cultural elite, America’s Civil War was a revolt of slave owners and traitors to destroy the Union to preserve their odious institution, and the Lost Cause was ignoble and dishonorable. Hence, the Confederate flag should be as repulsive as a Nazi swastika….” (p. 159)

I’m not interested in starting a big discussion of the War Between the States, but didn’t preservation of the Union – and, ultimately, slavery -- have something to do with this? It’s not just members of the counterculture who question the ultimate morality of the Southern cause, and questioning that morality does not have to mean demonizing Southerners. And by the way, if it was okay for the South to secede, isn’t it okay for California to secede?

As for the question of racial identity as part of national identity, I think this question is much different for Americans than it is for Europeans. America has shown that it can expand its idea of who can be an American. Didn’t many people believe for a long time that Catholics – including Irish Catholics -- could never be real Americans?

Buchanan seems to blame the attack on the family on ‘sixties intellectuals that corrupted the youth of the baby boom: “Either the sixties drove a moral wedge between us, or the sixties exposed a moral fracture that had existed, but that we had failed to recognize. I believe the former is true. “(p. 27) I’m not so sure that the latter isn’t true. There were home-grown intellectuals in the West promoting contraception and free love back in the thirties and even earlier – you know all those people G.K. Chesterton was warning us about. But Shaw became the big literary legend, not Chesterton. Add to that the immense social changes resulting from the Second World War – women entering the work force and liking it; people moving all around the country, far from their homes and parents; the influence of new technologies, including baby formula and television, on child-rearing and family life…. So many people have such nostalgia for Catholic life in the fifties, but how much of it was based on conformism and not on a living relationship with Jesus Christ? (not a rhetorical question; as a child of the 70’s I sincerely don’t know...) It’s easy to blame the baby boomers, but were they even equipped to resist? We certainly didn’t need a revolution, but did we need reform?

But I agree with Buchanan that we need to carefully consider what does make us Americans – that a mere abstract belief in Democracy is not enough. We need to pay more attention to the things that we hold in common – our language, our history, and our customs – and teach them to our children and to those who come to our country. I appreciate his rebuke of conservatism’s excessive focus on the economy; some things really are more important than the GNP.

Finally, Buchanan discusses this from a secular perspective; Christianity is mostly discussed as the source of traditional values and national identity. Ultimately, if whites become a minority in Europe and the US, does that necessarily mean the end of Western culture? Is a Western culture that has rejected Christ so completely worth preserving? Can we seize these changes and turn them into an opportunity for evangelism?

Some more links on the book:
Deal Hudson: Postmodern Buchanan
James Fitzpatrick: Our Disuniting Nation and Catholics and the Nation-State.
Here's a review by Cara Camden.

Some other good reads: The Abolition of Britian by Peter Hitchens and The Next Christianity by Philip Jenkins

Just in Case You Were

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Just in Case You Were Wondering...

Peony has changed the template colours from Ordinary Green to Lenten Purple. Also, her weather pixie is wearing a daring little black and fishnet ensemble...

The Mighty Barrister tells it

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The Mighty Barrister tells it like it is in his comments about a new type of birth control that suppresses menstruation.

I don't think you have to be a "feminist" to see that misogyny is at the base of it. These women can't see that men are doing this to them in order to make them more available to be used and discarded. It used to be that if you wanted to get together with a woman, you had to stick around a while. Now, it's literally wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. You are being used like a toilet, and you women are buying into it simply because it's "your choice."

I commented, and I was wondering, there is so much out there on the market to combat the side effects of menstruation. I hope this is not too personal, but between pregnancy and breastfeeding, I have not needed to think much about these problems since I have been married. I wonder if contraception has a direct effect (not just hormonally but because women are menstruating more) and has fueled more of an industry to combat the problems of PMS...

First Good-Night's Sleep in a

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First Good-Night's Sleep in a Long Time...

I did not realise how badly we were sleeping, I mean with us falling out of the bed, and mattress spings poking me in the small of the back until we slept on our new bed last night. I mean, I knew we needed a bigger bed, or at least a new mattress, but I really did not know how badly!

Catholic Culture On Saturday night,

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Catholic Culture

On Saturday night, Polo and I went to a neighbor's house to watch the Roy Jones Jr./John Ruiz fight on pay-per-view. Many different topics came up during the conversation. At one point, one of the gentlemen asked my husband if he is teaching the children Spanish and if "no", why not?. My husband told me later that he was baffled by the question because the asker's significant other is not Hispanic, and Spanish is not a first or even second language in their household either. I explained to my husband that the question was not really about linguistics at all, but how is it that he could let his Puerto Rican heritage play second fiddle to any other culture. Needless to say, I asked my husband if he replied "because, we are starting off with Latin as a foreign language first."


The conversation had me thinking about our family and how I always felt our predominant family cultural identity is of course "Catholic American" (as opposed to "American Catholic" i.e. decorates with androgenous looking Mullet Jesus'). Webster's dictionary defines culture as the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group. I feel most at home around people who love to be surrounded by pictures of the Blessed Mother, who have the same ideals about family especially in regard to birth control, abortion and marriage. Even when I go to many diocesan events, I do not necessarily feel at home because it is not really "Catholic" in essence...


So this made me wonder, many Catholics these days, I do not think think of themselves as "culturally Catholic." Was there a time that they ever did? I wonder when Latin was more the widespread as the language of the Church, did people identify more with being "Catholic" as opposed to being whatever? So this is where my mind has been for the past few days...

Little things

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Little things

Hambet had a good checkup this morning. He's chugging right along on his height and weight (25th and 5th percentile) curves. The doctor did not tell me I was crazy when I produced my little spreadsheet of words, which now has 229 entries and is still an undercount. (Today's new word: "robot.")

The little adventurer has noticed that I have a stash of chocolate revel bars in the freezer door, and has figured out how to push a chair over to the freezer, open the freezer, and help himself. He has not figured out yet that chanting "cookie, cookie, cookie" during the expedition is a good way to get busted.

Dylan has paid us the compliment of a permalink -- thanks! He links to a nice NRO article on Mr. Rogers, written on the occasion of Mr R's retirement.

Thanks also to Brasilianista Aspirante for her permalink!

Beauty, relationships, shallowness.
Dinka has a good post about physical beauty. It is so sad how we judge so much on the external...

Back to the routine

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Even long weekends are never long enough. (My husband took advantage of "liberal leave" on Friday.)

Today: laundry, finishing folding and ironing last week's and starting this week's wash. Squandered naptime fetching the mail, searching for a misplaced book, answering an email. Took some film to Best Buy to be developed. I hate, hate, hate Best Buy and normally never enter that store, but if you get your film processed there you can order triple prints (one set of Hambet's birthday pictures for me and one set for each grandma). You can in theory, anyway; none of the truant middle-school students staff seemed to know how to fill out the envelope to actually order the triple prints (there is no box to check.) I hope the lab understands my written instructions (I want the triple prints for $9.99.)

Getting reprints out to the grandmas is sometimes a real chore. For a while I was mulling over buying a photo-quality printer, but since I would have to print more than 200 photo reprints to break even (not counting paper and ink) I figured I would just keep doing it the old-fashioned way, especially since home printouts do not last as long as regular photos. My old DeskJet prints well enough for "everyday" reprints.

Hambet has a checkup tomorrow and I suspect the doctor will ask me how many words he knows. So -- I'm such a geek -- I sat down and entered all the words I could think of into an Excel spreadsheet and learned how to use COUNTA to count them. So far I'm up to 182 (including animal sounds such as moo, quack, woof woof, bloob bloob, and oink.)

Pansy's weather pixie is wearing the same coat all the time, while mine has an ever-changing ensemble. This is exactly the reverse of real life -- Pansy is much more stylish; I am fashion-impaired.

I keep looking out at the back yard and wondering when the snow is going to melt. I want to really plan my garden this year, with graph paper and all that, but I want to measure my existing patch first. I really, really, really want to grow rhubarb this year, but even if I succeed I won't be able to harvest until next year.... Last year was my first time planting a garden. I had great success with lettuce and basil, middling results with tomatoes. I had problems with blossom end-rot until I took my grandma's hint and started putting eggshells in the garden.

Time to start supper. Tonight it's meatballs (Swedish if I have the ingredients, with spaghetti otherwise.)

UPDATE: 202 212 words on the vocabulary list. Husband is late coming home from work and needs a ride home from the train station. This will totally derail dinner. I might let someone else do the cooking tonight.

Mullet for Jesus OK, that

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Mullet for Jesus

OK, that hairdo was really bad, but it asks the question that begs to be answered "Why do they fall short of making Jesus look attractive in modern day art?"

I mean a mullet is an almost criminal offense, but why is He always so wimpy and androgenous looking? Gives me the heeby jeebies.

New Bed! We purchased a

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New Bed!

We purchased a new King Size bed.I said to the salesman "I need a king a size bed, but just simple...Big and simple," I kept my mouth shut about co-sleeping to the salesman because I remember the hassles Davey's Mom got about co-sleeping. Although he was suspicious because I kept saying things to Polo like "well, I hope that mattress isn't too fluffy for the kids," I really didn't want a "what's wrong with AP lecture".

It is being delivered today.

The two youngest have some kind of high fever affliction. Not sure what it is. Gorbulas is in pretty good spirits considering a 103 degree fever. When I have a fever like that, I usually cannot do anything besides lay in bed and whine.

Probably will not hear much from me today between sick kids, a new bed and dh working from 8-8.

This and that I found

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This and that

I found the pictures I was looking for yesterday and put them away. I also made a little album to carry with me, so now I'll be able to produce many pictures of Hambet. Now I'm on a major anti-clutter crusade.

I twiddled with our comments template to try to make it easier to read, but I wasn't too sure what I was doing, so I hope I didn't wreck anything.

Hambet is determined to cook. He's been climbing up on chairs in the kitchen and trying to pour bottles of olive oil all over the counter. My stand mixer broke right before Christmas and I never threw it away, so this afternoon I gave it to him to play with. He was totally absorbed with changing the bowls, playing with the beaters, and turning the controls. Later on I peeked in the bowl to see what he was mixing. I found a refrigerator magnet, a little car, and the plastic rosary the lady at the Shrine gave him.

Futurama is back tonight with a droll superhero/ anime parody.

How in the world am I going to get that image of Our Lord with a mullet out of my head?

Well, I'm not hungry

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I don't think I'll need to eat for a couple of days, actually. I just got back from the wedding. The reception was held at a very nice restaurant in Georgetown.

While I was getting my stuff together to go to the wedding, I went looking for a current picture of Hambet to carry with me. First of all, I am a bad mommy indeed to not have a recent picture in my wallet. The thing that really has me on a tear, though, is that I am missing the last three rolls of developed pictures. (I have this little system where I scan them onto a CD-ROM archive, send prints to the grandmas, number the little envelope with its number, and then put them in a box for "when I have time to put them in a scrapbook", which will be in Purgatory, at the rate I'm going.)

Yikes. Is there a Purgatory for procrastinators where we have to finish all the stuff we put off, including all the crafts projects we abandoned? Pray for the Poor Souls, bent over their sewing machines, embroidery hoops, and woodworking tables....

Up and Hungry Again Sometimes

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Up and Hungry Again

Sometimes the baby wakes me up too often and after a couple of times I am "up" for good-or at least for a little while...


Last night I made Curry Spiced Lentils and Spinach for dinner. It is one of those things that tastes a lot better than it looks. If it is any testament to the veracity of my statement, my children cleaned their plates and said "mmmmm".


I love anything curried, it is major comfort food to me. I realised this yesterday when I was making my little dehydrated-add-boiling-water-and-eat-paper-cup-curried-soup for lunch yesterday, it was curry all day. I want to say it is due to my West Indian background (Jamaicans eat curry, particularly curried goat which is very good), but Jamaican curry is not my favourite. I love Thai food, Sri Lankan and Indian. I am a particular slave to hot peppers.


My love for curry started I would say in my senior year of high school. My father was a Fulbright Scholar in the Fiji Islands. The country is 51% Indian-the British Imported the Indians as indentured servants to work the land in the 1800's. To this day there are many problems between the Indian and the indigenous Fijian (melanesian) population.


Back to food, there was a nifty little "chain" of restaurants called Hari Krishna. They served awesome ice cream-my favourite was nutmeg and cinnamon. My girlfriends and I would go there for breakfast or lunch and pig out on potato curry with roti and samosa with chutney. Mmmm, hungry now...


Fiji is also where my family reverted/converted, which is a store I will tell later...


Di Fattura Caslinga: Pansy's Etsy Shop
The Sleepy Mommy Shoppe: Stuff we Like
(Disclaimer: We aren't being compensated to like this stuff.
Any loose change in referral fees goes to the Feed Pansy's Ravenous Teens Fund.)


Pansy and Peony: The Two Sleepy Mommies



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