August 2003 Archives

More Sabbatical-ising

I am seriously stressed about moving. I finally admitted to my mother how stressed I am and she said "well moving is extremely stressful Pansy, I lost thirty pounds last time we moved." That made me feel so much better.

But the past events of my life need me to pay more attention to the real world. I think the stress is affecting my mood, and hence my blog. I am edgy, tense and emotional and I need to get through the move and stuff.

Misfit

Today we went to the airshow and saw the Thunderbirds. It was a whole lot of fun. OK, I have been feeling sort of pathetic as of late because in this country that I am a native of, I feel like such a misfit. When I lived in Fiji, I was not a misfit, despite the fact I was not Fijian, Indian, Australian or New Zealander. I was "Pansy" not that black, Italian, chinese, scottish, "dee-yamm I ain't never heard of a mix like that"girl. Once a week I dream of returning, and I wake up on the verge of tears to go back.

Now, how does this tie in with the air show? Whenever we go to "wholesome" family events, we are practically the only minority family. When we go to "minority"-esque events, we are the only white-ish family.

I thought when we fled to the TLM, it would be Catholic. See, the Churches in Albany are divided big time by culture. I thought the TLM was strictly "Catholic" and the pastor actually is. Many of the parishioners have their own bizarre agenda, so I do not quite fit in there.

This is not about race as much as it is about divisions, or "diversity". Why in the USA is diversity such a virtue to the point that some who was born here feels more at home at some small island in the South Pacific? Why is it after how many years after the abolishment of slavery we have made very little strides in race relations in this country?

There are times I have been angry at my parents for being counter cultural, enlightened and intelligent people for marrying and creating me not only biracial in a country that wants you to choose one side or the other, but raising me Catholic to be able to see through the typical lies society spreads. Sometimes I wish I was one race to be able to stick to one side. Sometimes I wish I was not Catholic so I could be ignorant and fall into line with the way society feels about things such as abortion, birth control and premarital sex. I so know what the saying "ignorance is bliss" means.

Sabbatical

Starting tomorrow morning, I am going to be taking a little break from the blogosphere for at least one week, maybe for two. I need to catch up on some projects, and it will be easier to avoid procrastination if I set a "no blogging, period!" rule for myself. (I will be checking email, in case someone needs get in touch with me to chastise me for miscopying a cookie recipe or or for whatever reason.)

I also want to humbly beg the assistance of St. Blog's with another, more personal project.

A couple of weeks ago, when Sparki shared with us the happy news of her pregnancy, she also included a very gracious nod to women of St Blog's who desired to conceive.

I am one of those women. I have occasionally alluded to the fact that I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, a hormonal disorder that makes conception difficult. When we were married, my husband and I dreamed of having a small army of children. We went through three years of infertility before Hambet was conceived. Now Hambet is two and a half. He needs brothers and sisters. I would be so grateful for prayers for our family, that God might grant us again the gift of life.

(A few weeks ago, Hambet was pointing out a baby he saw at the mall. I asked him, "Would you like a baby?" He seemed interested, so I asked again: "Would you like a baby in our family? A baby brother or sister?" He announced, quite firmly, "Baby sister!" So that is his intention. Hambet is exactly two and a half today.)

Garden Report

I went out and did a little work in the garden. I'm harvesting carrots now, and I think I'll have enough basil for a batch of pesto this weekend -- yum yum! The Roma tomatoes have lots of green fruit, and one tomato is starting to turn red. The Brandywine tomato is very tall now and has two green fruits. And -- hooray! -- no blossom end-rot! That blight took half my little crop last year. All that soil amendment and eggshell paid off.

I planted a watermelon for the heck of it and it is taking over its patch, so I made a little tent of poles for it to climb on. It has two fruit already that are about the size of bocce balls, and a few more little fruits the size of ping-pong balls. I'm still trying to grow those white eggplants. I have two plants that are still alive, but they haven't set any fruit yet.

I consulted the planting guide that the state extension office sent me, and was full of chagrin to find that I've missed the target date for planting broccoli again! I should have started seeds for transplants a month ago. I may just try planting anyway and see if I get anything.

I do have a garden tragedy -- three of my rhubarbs have withered away! I don't know whether it's the heat, or whether some of the weed killer my husband was using drifted over and killed them. How I hope they come back! But if they don't, I'll just try again next year -- in a different spot. We are setting up a little bed near our shed, and that seems like it might be a nice spot. Meanwhile, I've written to ask the state extension office for advice. I hope they'll have some encouraging news for me.

Chivalrous Siblings

I try to take the kids to the park each day so they can get some outside time. Now that we are moving to the country, we will not have to go to some location for the children to play outside. We try to go early before it gets too hot and icky out. Yesterday morning, the grass was extremely wet. Instead of letting my daughter walk through wet grass, my son insisted on carrying her on his back from one area to the other. It was cute except she is much bigger than he.

My Brothers Are Off to School Today

I am going to miss them. :(

Greg Popcak and the Sibling Charting Thing

I guess it was about a month and a half ago I was at a birthday party when someone said "Hey, have you ever heard of Greg Popcak? I just read an article from Catholic Family News about him, and it's not good. He said brothers should do their sisters NFP charts." The excerpt from the article read:

The "Brother" Chart
Popcak also advocates that parents should spend quite a few years teaching their teens about Natural Family Planning (NFP) "in preparation for married life".
In Beyond the Birds and the Bees, Popcak wrote, "Explain to your sons that as God is giving them the gift of their sexuality, He is asking them to spend the next several years learning how to use that gift properly. Part of that means that if he marries, he will be responsible for working with his wife to determine God's will for their lives, including when to have children and how many children to have. These are decisions that need to be made every month in collaboration with his wife and with prayer. After he is married, part of his responsibility will be to help his wife do something called charting, which means that he will write down the different signs that tell how healthy his wife is and when they could have a baby. I am aware of some families where the brother may chart his sister's temperatures for her, or even some cases where the mother shares her own NFP chart (minus the coitus record, of course) with the intent of acquainting the young men and women of the house with NFP. I also know some families who object to this idea on privacy or modesty grounds."[6]

Ok, I personally find the idea of sibling charting icky. I am not comfortable with the idea of talking about my charts with my parents, or anyone else for that matter. I am extremely close to my three brothers, but, well, ohmygosh, the thought is just butt nasty. However, while I think the idea is uncomfortable, I do not see anything anti-Catholic here. Also, nowhere does it say "siblings" should chart each other, but that he knows families who do that and others who do not because they might think it's gross (not "modest").

I have a copy of Beyond the Birds and the Bees that I have yet to read, so I cannot really comment on the context anymore than what is written here. I do like what Greg has to say in Parenting With Grace and while I think some of the things quoted may be over the top, Greg is a therapist who treats families who I am sure may have been hurt by teenagers with a bad or immoral sense of sexuality. I don't know, I kind of think he is being attacked for attempting to put Church teaching into practical use for families, and I personally see very few people who do that.

As for NFP itself, I am not the biggest "pro-NFP" person, I guess I am not as sexually "open" as I should be. I am not "anti" NFP either. I do not like the concept that everyone has to avoid children. I think there may be reasons to avoid, but as someone who wanted nothing but to be a Mom for as long as I can remember, it is hard when people get into your business about how many children you have, and tell you to stop having kids. Saying "well, I'm Catholic" to shut them up and get them out of your business doesn't hold water because "well, you have NFP..." Ugh. Anywho there is a huge discussion going on at Catholic and Enjoying It! about the CFN article, NFP, ugly pictures of OL of Guadalupe and anything else you can imagine...

I plucked a few comments from the box that worded my sentiments better than I could ever:

Frankly, I find the whole neocon "joy of charting" business a bit rich. NFP is supposed to be used to delay or space children for serious reasons, like severe economic hardship or sickness. Unfortunately, the emphasis in pro-NFP literature on its effectiveness ("99% effective - better than s") and ism ("like a new honeymoon every month" - at exactly the time when your wife is biologically least interested in ) really does make it sound like Catholic birth control. I really have no trouble with the Missionaries of Chrarity teaching NFP on the streets of Calcutta. But surely no one can argue that the majority of young Catholic couples in North America seriously need to delay having children.

Furthermore, God, in His wisdom, has already provided a form of NFP that doesn't require charting: it's called breastfeeding, which naturally curtails fertility until the newest child is weaned.
Mark Cameron | Email | 08.20.03 - 10:06 pm |

My wife and I have been using NFP since the day we married six years ago. I've said before on this blog that you can't believe either side. It is neither immiserating or ineffective, as its opponents say, nor is it easy to do and a bringer of unambiguous and unending joy to a marriage. It's difficult, and requires a lot of dying to self, but it's the right thing to do, and if the Church decided tomorrow that artificial contraception were licit, we'd stick with this. We like the natural way.

Now, let me say this: I don't feel that I'm in any position to tell another couple that they're using NFP for the wrong reason. You can never tell what's going on within a marriage. We knew this NFP couple who would have struck others as people who didn't have a good reason to delay having another child. What those not close to them couldn't ahve realized, though, is that the wife was struggling with depression, and putting up a brave face to the world while she was seeing a therapist and taking medication for her symptoms. They eventually did have another baby, after she got her depression under control. I wouldn't be surprised, though, if there were some NFP users in their circles who privately thought N. and her husband were using NFP for unjustified reasons.
Rod Dreher | Email | 08.20.03 - 10:26 pm | #

Just a Reminder
Greg Popcak is going to be on EWTN Live.

Healthy Home Air Stuff

In my continuing quest to help my son's asthma, I found some interesting info. One page I found from the American Lung Association offered healthy cleaning alternatives.

Alternative Recipes
Fortunately, many common products offer safe and effective cleaning solutions to the following problems:

Grease cutter - 1 cup of lemon juice + 1 cup of water

Scouring powder - 1 cup of baking soda + enough water to form a paste

Laundry stain remover - 1 tsp. of white vinegar or baking soda per machine load

Toilet bowl cleaner - cup vinegar (leave overnight and brush the next day)

Floor and furniture polish - 2 parts vegetable oil + 1 part lemon juice (for leather furniture: 1 cup vinegar + 1 cup linseed oil)

Metal cleaners (brass and copper) - lemon juice + salt to form a paste OR a lemon wedge dipped in baking soda OR hot white vinegar + salt OR hot ketchup applied with a rag

Glass cleaner - 1 part vinegar + 1 part water

Rug and carpet cleaner - baking soda

Flies - well-watered bowl of basil

Moth Repellant - Cedar chips in cotton sachets

Roach Repellent - Chopped bay leaves and cucumber skins

Another interesting tidbit I found is certain plants hel clean the air.

Growing plants in your office can be a relaxing and enjoyable escape from the "daily-grind". Besides offering an aesthetic value which many can appreciate, they also improve air quality. They do an excellent job of cleaning up the moisture within your office space in addition to filtering dangerous toxins.

Tip: Place aquarium gravel (found at your local pet shop) in your planting pot to reduce the growth of molds and mildew.

According to the Health eOffice website, the top 12 air-cleaning plants are:
- Areca Palms (chrysalidocarpus lutescens)
- Lady Palm (Rhapis excelsa)
- Bamboo Palm (Chamedorea Seigrizii)
- Rubber Plant (Ficus Robusta)
- Dracaena Janet Craig (Dracaens deremensis "Janet Craig")
- English Ivy (Hedera Helix)
- Dwarf Date Palm (Phoenix Roebelenii)
- Ficus Alii (Ficus Macleilandii "Alii")
- Boston Fern (Nephrolepis Exalta "Bostoniensis")
- Peace Lily (Spathiphyllum sp.)
- Corn Plant (Dracaeba Fragrans "Massangeana")
- Golden Pothos (Epiremnum Aureum)

Katolik Shinja on the roots of granola conservatism.

Thanks, Steven, for this link.

Dinka writes about her new life, and changed figure...

The remains of the pregnancy and everything it took to let this baby out. It's scary. I am left with the miniature version of a classic beer belly, no, not a cute left-over pregnancy belly, but a flabby weird-shaped nothing sticking out with a dark line down the middle. All my other body parts that seemed proportionate to the big thing in front now suddenly appear their actual size and I feel every single pound. I know it's been only 2 weeks and it will all go back to normal, but, my god, what happened to me?! I guess it's "Motherhood Maternity"-fashion for me for another couple of months. Sigh.

I am glad Dinka posted this.With baby number one, I went home in my jeans, number two and three I went home in my baggy jeans. The last baby I had to wear maternity clothes home and wear a size three sizes bigger for a few weeks. I had a bit of post partum depression, but my appearance depressed me a whole lot. I mean it's like if I rolled over at night, my stomach flopped on the bed. I started working out and got to Weight Watchers at 4 weeks post partum. I got back into OK shape, but I will never have a tummy suitable to wear some midriff revealing garment. Not that I would, but I am all stretched out is the point.

For me, there is this secret competition to prove what a good mother I am, and part of that is "and see, she got her figure back so quick." I do not even know what that is all about. I do not know if it is a Pansy Moss thing, or the fact that our society is so embroiled in the Culture of Death that there is no appreciation for women whose shapes change due to child birth. Maybe a little of both.

Google Fights!

I found out about Google Fights thanks to Roberto Diaz in his comment over at Fr. Sibley's.

Let's see.... (winners in bold)

Harry Potter (5,810,000 results) versus Luke Skywalker(123,000 results)

Gordie Howe (20,700 results) versus Wayne Gretzky (94,400 results)

Dominicans (68,400 results) versus Fransiscans (302 results)

(but, as Davey's mommy points out, correct spelling can change things!) Dominicans (68,400 results) versus Franciscans (79,500 results)

sorry, Kathy and Steven: Dominicans (68,400 results) versus Carmelites (33,400 results)

Opus Dei (84,600 results) versus Regnum Christi (11,300 results)

SSPX (6,780 results) versus FSSP (83,100 results)

St Michael (561,000 results) versus Satan (419,000 results)

Rush Limbaugh (148,000 results) versus Sean Hannity (39,700 results)

We still have more work to do: Mother Angelica (81,800 results) versus Hillary Rodham Clinton (113,000 results); Pope John Paul II (459,000 results) versus culture of death (2,220,000 results)

but hope springs eternal: Hillary Rodham Clinton (113,000 results) versus Blessed Virgin Mary (249,000 results); God (42,700,000 results) versus abortion (2,340,000 results)

Cardinal Ratzinger (22,000 results) versus liturgical abuses (7,380 results)

mutual submission (454,000 results) versus beer (7,940,000 results)

Here's one for Erik: home rendered lard (5,190 results) versus shortening (492,000 results)

breastfeeding (938,000 results) versus bottlefeeding (5,180 results)

Two Sleepy Mommies (2,220 results) versus chirp (133,000 results)

Pansy (299,000 results) versus Peony (166,000 results)

Baby Veronika's baptism pictures are up!

Wifely Submission Stuff

And when it comes time to decide how Hambet will be educated (parish school v. homeschool), the decison will be made the same way.

This is an example that comes to mind. Before we sent Rosey Posey to kindergarten, we thought about school choices-Catholic school or this homeschooling stuff we heard about. Public school was not an option, I had gone through the public school system. My husband had gone through the parochial school system and he was unimpressed by any Catholic pressence moral or theological. We considered homeschooling and I was doing the "but what if, but what if" stuff. My husband finally said to me point blank "try it for one year and see how it works out." It was not an order but more of a firm decision where I could not find one. I took that firm choice as a sign from God through my husband. To be honest these types of decisions come few and far between. When they do come up, and my husband "takes the reigns" so to speak, I am actually quite comforted and relieved and try to leave the rest to God.

My example, I think, is quite similar to Peony's. Now if my husband said something real whacked like "ok, let's start a family business of drug trafficking" or something equally immoral or just plain crazy, I do not think it is necessary to be submissive.

The other dimension of "submission" people are talking about is day to day living. Cooking and cleaning, that sort of thing. I love being a housewife. Part of me shows love by acts of service such as feeding people and doing little things for them. The nature of love is it is pleasurable to give love as well as receive love. Somewhere, feminists decided that traditional housewife roles were a show of bondage as opposed to liberation-or something like that. But how is it demeaning to do what one wants with their life?Even if things go awry in a marriage, is it bad to hold on to the things that are stable, such as cooking, cleaning etc? Should someone throw out any show of love for someone in tough times?

I think perhaps this may differ from family to family. Some families, the women need to just get out. Some are situations that are temporary, or what ever. It is hard to say.

Peony, your marriage prep course sounded really cool. Ours was, well, it was not worth the time of day. I learned little to nothing about Catholic teaching on marriage in it.

So what does wifely submission look like? (or, you catch more beer with honey than with vinegar)

In the discussion over at Jeff's blog, Michelle wonders about how wifely submission works out on a practical scale. Maybe we can toss that around a little bit here.

Perhaps people would be more open to the teaching of hierarchy in the family if they knew that there were actually wives out there trying to live it. As I commented at Jeff's, I think a lot of people out there -- women and men -- have deformed ideas about obedience and authority -- that obedience is abject servility and authority is arbitrary, absolute power -- and that they have to unlearn these old ideas before they can be open to this teaching. Otherwise, you're going to have a lot of throughly modern Millies tossing their heads -- no way are they going to be subject to any man! -- because they think submission is servility, that it means not feeling free to spend $2.00 on a latte at the mall, that it's fetching beer for some cartoon fundamentalist tyrant in a recliner. There are also men out there who jump at the chance to be petty kings in their own home, forgetting that Godly kingship is service, not tyranny. They want to be the Sun King instead of St Louis.

Our marriage prep classes (conducted in the Archdiocese of Washington) actually did (briefly) touch on this teaching. One of the presentations was a "video presentation" -- part of a taped lecture by Dr. Scott Hahn on the chapter on Ephesians. In the lecture, Dr Hahn clearly discussed wifely obedience, and made it clear that this was not some first-century relic -- that it was a model of the Church's obedience to Christ. And he did not forget St Paul's instructions to husbands: You are to love your wives as Christ loved the Church. That means you have to lay down your life for her. (I noticed that my fiance seemed to be a much more attentive during this part of the presentation.)

in practice, I think the headship of the husband is going to look slightly different for each family, based on the different talents and personalities of the spouses. In our own family, the first time I consciously thought, "ok, time to do that wifely submission thing" was when we were engaged and deciding where our first home was going to be. In the D.C. metro area, there is a cultural divide between Virginia people and Maryland people. Usually it's just the stuff of gentle teasing, but some people get really worked up about it (especially Maryland people.) When we were engaged, we were both living in Virginia, but we started considering moving to Maryland. At that time I was a confirmed Virginia person. My husband had moved to the area a little more recently, so he didn't see this as the huge identity issue I did.

We looked at apartments on both sides of the river, and went back and forth in our minds. I made my case for Virginia, he made his case for Maryland. But eventually it was time to make a decision, and he said, "Maryland."

I still didn't want to move to Maryland, so what was I going to do? Was I going to whine and moan and henpeck and wheedle and manipulate until I got my own way at last? Or was I going to heed St Paul and... submit? I chose the St Paul route.

(When I told my good friend Iris, a confirmed Virginia person (and a member of a fundamentalist church), that we were planning to move, I only mentioned that my fiance was firm on Maryland and that's where we were going to go. She immediately (and approvingly) commented, "doing 'the Ephesians thing,' aren't you?")

Same thing with buying our house. We discussed together whether or not it was time to move, but he had the final word. When we were choosing houses, he paid attention to my input and I paid attention to his, but when he vetoed a house I liked, I didn't whine, moan, wheedle, etc. just to get my own way -- we moved on and looked at other houses. And when it comes time to decide how Hambet will be educated (parish school v. homeschool), the decison will be made the same way. I trust my husband, and know he will show respect for me by discussing the issue with me and listening to my thoughts on the issue. But if we come to differing conclusions, he will have the final word.

Anyway, that's how this particular wife thinks about submission and puts it into practice. It is easy to do, in that I know my husband pays attention to my thoughts and that I know he is making decisions with the best interests of the whole family in mind. In daily life, I do most of the cooking and cleaning, and I try to keep my husband's tastes and preferences in mind in the way I run the house. At the same time, my husband doesn't act like he's condescending, or doing me some immense favor, if he runs the vacuum or cares for his own child. I don't feel like I'm "being ordered around." He doesn't lie around in the recliner demanding beer, but I'm happy to bring him one because I want to do something nice for him.

But it's easy to do when things are going well (and it doesn't always run this smoothly at the Maryland Moss household, for that matter.) For families where the husband is domineering or neglectful, or where the wife is greedy or contentious, this is where obedience and authority become crosses, and I don't know what to say about that.

We Went to the Fair Too!

Yesterday we went to 7.30 am Mass. It was great because they had a missionary priest from Peru, so it was a good Mass. Then we went off to the Altamont Fair. It was nice, cool and empty so early. We went and checked out the dairy goats, and chickens. I wanted info on raising dairy goats and chickens, but no one was around. We looked at cows, horses and all the 4-H barns. Then I found in the farthest corner what seemed like the "Pansy Moss" barn labeled Michael's. They had judging of quilts (no, I do not quilt), scrapbooking, sewing, baking and canning. I signed up to enter one of jams for next year. What fun!

Then we walked around and there was a lady making soap and she walked us step by step through the process. Very interesting. I would do that if I could, but Fastolph and lye in a house-sounds real bad.

Then we went to visit my parents. Woes me, two of my brothers are leaving on Friday for school. One will be a freshmen at Cornell, the other a sophomore at UB Buffalo. I am going to miss them. *Humph* do they really have to leave me and go off to school and stuff? OK, I guess so. Growing up and stuff, shame on them!

A little milestone

We've just cracked 10,000 page views! (that's from the installation of the site meter, not the launch of the blog.) (Of course, 6,000 of those were probably disappointed seekers of lyrics + lindsay + lohan....)

Channeling this energy into something positive.

My four year old loves women, particularly teenage girls. People chuckle about it "Oh, he is such a little playa," but I am seriously worried. I have never seen anyone flirt as much as Fastolph does in my life.

Here are a couple of examples. We were at Hannaford checking out and the bagger was a pretty blonde teenage girl. First he started grinning at her. Then he asked "what your name?" He then asked her various other questions, and she seemed quite charmed, (they all think he is "soooo cute").

As we were leaving he said to her "I see you later" while he nodded his head and grinned. Aaaagh!

Another example was when I buying sunglasses at a kiosk in the mall manned by what else, teenage girls. My son is not shy, but for this moment in time he decided to play shy. He hid behind me and would peek out his head at the girls just enough so they would start squealing, squeaking and saying "oh, he is so cute!" Then as soon as they squeaked he would hide back behind me.

He played this game until I completed my purchase, tugged at his shirt and said "C'mon".

This list goes on, like how he wishes he could get thrown out of the house so he could move in with two teenage girls from our Church.

I am really worried. We were at some restaurant and a poor waitress said "oh, he's going to be a heartbreaker"

"I don't a heartbreaker! I want a good responsible family man who is dedicated to one wife and provides and loves his children!"Poor woman.

I am really worried about this. If I pray hard enough, maybe he will turn out like Mr.Luse or something, you know a dedicated family man who seems to really love women.

Cheetah Girls Review

To quote Rosey Posey "Wow, that movie was butt cheesey." Yes, there was a huge scene at the end where the main characters dog falls down a hole and it suposedly brings down town Manhattan (which is really some place in Canada and doesn't look like Manhattan) to a halt. When the dog is recovered, they have to stop and perform a musical number. Couple that with overuse of the term "cheetah-licious" and that was like more corn than I can handle for one night, let alone in one movie.

But the girls were very cute and very talented. Watching them sing and dance was a lot of fun. I really liked the way the movie broke down racial barriers a bit, without making it the basis for the silly movie. PC, I know, but I get a kick out of it. That is one place the media can catch up with the real world.

Hee hee, I made Posco help me with the tapes

Now we are going to watch The Cheetah Girls.

still haven't packed the video tapes...

Hmm, Catholic Exchange validated my fears about what Freaky Friday is about...

I keep seeing the scene where Jamie Lee Curtis supposedly in Lindsay Lohan's body touches the long hair and says "this isn't mine" and then grabs her rear and says "This certainly isn't mine!" or something to that effect (how soon we forget about that scene from True Lies). The flip side is Lindsay Lohan inside Jamie Lee Curtis's body exclaiming "Oh I am old! I'm like the Crypt Keeper!" Everytime I see that preview I flinch and think "oh, not another teens are so cool and everyone else is square" movie.

DEO GRATIAS: FOUND!

A big thank-you to Saint Anthony, the guardian angels of the house, my dear husband, and everyone who prayed for the safe recovery of my engagement ring (and the other ring I lost!) I just found them-- and in one of the first places I should have looked: the air return duct in our family room. Hambet, the little magpie, loves to see what he can fit into that register cover. I've recovered bank cards and all kinds of other things from that duct.

I had actually lost two rings -- an engagement ring and another ring I keep in the same place -- but the engagement ring was the one that really had my stomach in knots. Yesterday I was tearing my house apart looking for the rings: moving the refrigerator, completely taking apart the dresser, emptying drawers, turning out pockets, the bit. I even sifted through all the trash, including the trash that we'd already taken outside. On his way out the door this morning, my husband remembered the register cover and suggested that I check it today. Before I did, I wanted to check at Home Depot to see if I could get a replacement register cover (it looks awful, so as long as I was taking it off, I might as well replace it.) They didn't have one in the right size, so I just came home, unscrewed one side of the cover, and peeked in. And there they were!

I am so grateful to my husband for being so calm and understanding about this. Not a word of rebuke; only forgiveness and optimism.

Notes to self: 1) Keep an eye on the jewelry, and keep it out of reach! 2) Next time something small is missing, check the register cover before looking anyplace else.

Davey's mommy and daddy, take note!

Oh brother

I think I have blogged about my grandmother occasionally. She lives about 2.5 hours away down state in a small city called Mt.Vernon, NY. This is a city in Westchester County on the border of the Bronx that is four square miles, yet extremely densely populated. For the most part, much of the Italian population in this city is most likely a distant relative of mine.

My grandmother is a hypochondriac who suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder. That is somewhat excusable, except she is also a control freak. For example, she has a fit if I leave home, and believe it or not, every chance I get, I like to take the kids and run the streets (you know, go to the movies, cook-outs, Church and other such activities) in nice weather. She does not approve of my "gallivanting" so every time I leave the house she has to make me pay. This is her new hobby. She leaves tons of messages on my answering machine. If I do not return the call or show up, she calls my parents and starts harassing them. Her latest line is "I got so nervous and hysterical, I could not sleep because I thought the baby was dead from asthma. "

The first time I was like "Ok, it is a misunderstanding", but it has gotten worse each time I left the house. A few weeks ago I went out for coffee with a girlfriend and my husband told her as much. The next morning I got "I was so worried I could not sleep, why would you go out? Who was this girl you went out with?" To top it off, I have other family (she resides with her brother and sister) calling me and asking why I am worrying my poor grandmother. Ugh.

Today I called to ask if her power was put back on (that is the other thing, if I do not call in the face of any kind of emergency, whether I know about it or not, I get lectured for not calling). Her power is not back on. She complained about how her fridge is disgusting and flooded from all the ice they put in it. Duh, I mentioned how our new home has an ice box with tubes to drain water and how that would have worked out in an emergency like this. I was fielding calls from her brother asking me if my husband was forcing me into this life. If they took the time to get to know me, rather than control me, they would know what I want. He also said how much they worry about me (stop worrying), how if we move they can never visit us because we will be too far but you do not visit us now, I invited you to Posco's First Holy Communion and you did not come).

I love my family I do, but families can be such a source of agita.

I'm bored

I am supposed to be packing, but I do not know what to pack first. Books? Hubby said video tapes. Video tapes? Ok, whatever. I will be submissive and pack tapes because I do not know where to start packing anyway. It is times like these (well, usually anyway) when I can get into the wifely submission thing, because I am quite indecisive. It is a symptom of my perfectionism. "What if I pack the such and such too soon and we need it? What if I pack it wrong and it gets crunched?" The only problem with video tapes is I am secretly hoping for not enough electricity for the TV. Hubby wants the TV. For the most part, I figured God wired us on two ends of the extreme (me wanting to throw the whole TV out the window and Hubby wanting a big screen surround sound "entertainment system" and 900 cable channels) to meet somewhere in the middle? So I am submissive by allowing TV with cable that I periodically cut off. We usually end up with 6 months on, six months off.

Wifely submission

HMS Blog has been kicking around the topic of wifely submission, and Jeff has further commentary, with an excerpt from Casti Connubii, over at his place (including illiterate ravings in his comment box by yours truly.)

No Lie

I was sitting here reading How to Live Without Electricity and Like It by Anita Evangelista, and the power went out! The very first chapter was on preparing for power outages. I felt it was almost my fault!

How could I raise my children if I were not Catholic?

There have been some significant events in my life as well as discussions that have had me reflecting on this question recently. Since we are moving to the country and will obtain a neighbor-free status, one of my brothers hinted at putting the children in school. I thought it over for about a second. I understand why my brother made the suggestion because I have had the same thoughts. The kids need to be occupied. I am hoping living in the country where they can run free and have a list of chores will remedy some of that. They also need some "normal" friends. I kind of agree with that too because the world is not comprised of Catholic homeschoolers, so exposing them to a variety of people makes sense. So there is the conundrum.

Sadly, none of you St.Bloggers with kids live anywhere near me. Oh no! You have to make life difficult by living off in the Washington area and California-except for Alicia the Midwife, but her kids are older. So here we are, public school types or homeschooling types.

In NJ, I was blessed to be surrounded by orthodox Catholics who happen to homeschool. We were blessed though because Fr. John [McCloskey] really set the tone and charism for orthodox Catholics in that area. Without strong leadership like that, things get weird.

So when I was thinking about my normal secular friends, I was thinking about how they reflect American culture. Many have some moral "stops", for example cheating on a spouse is wrong for the most part-yet I know people who have cheated for simply "falling out of love", murder is wrong-but abortion is OK in the light of a serious situation, drugs are bad-yet smoking weed for the most part is OK because "everyone does it" and it is "not a serious drug like crack". The biggest thing many people I know do that upsets me is lying. Please do not think I am being horribly judgmental, I am not. I think many people are not murderers or adulterers, but many will lose their souls and a chance for a more fulfilled life in the little things, and I am trying to protect my children from this school of thought.

Here is an example, I had a conversation yesterday about renting moving trucks:

Me: I am thinking we might rent a smaller truck for local delivery and make a few trips back and forth. That might be cheaper.
Other Person:Oh yeah, until you rack up the miles. Maybe you can take out the fuse [I forgot the exact word he used] to the odometer so they won't know.
Me: Um, no, that is like illegal and immoral.
Other Person: It is if you get caught.

I have conversations with people like this all the time. "White" lies are OK if they save money, so is "minor" theft. It seems that wrongdoing is not wrong unless you get caught. I am afraid of dropping my children in such a moral environment. Maybe I am being overly judgmental and scrupulous, but I think this type of thinking is more dangerous to our children than letting them read Harry Potter(to be honest, I think when you let the little things slide, that is when stuff like Harry Potter becomes a danger). I do not think I would see the difference were I not Catholic. I wish I did not have to be so extreme to get by in what my conscience tells me is right.

So Peony, when you were at the fair...

did you and Hambet devour one of those batter dipped and deep fried Oreos? I have seen those at two different fairs and to my husband I said "Would you look at those! How absurd, they must be a thousand calories each and I bet you can feel your arteries hardening when you eat them!" Inside I said "Mmmmm, batter dipped deep fried Oreo, aaaahhhhh"(think Homer Simpson). That will be our little secret-you, me and everyone else on the Internet.

Not praying the Divine Mercy chaplet?

This may be a good reason to start. (WaPo; marketing questions.)

Thanks to Mark Shea for the link.

Saint Anthony 911!

This is going to sound so frivolous, but my engagement ring is missing. I am alternating between frantic searches and wanting to just plop down on the floor and weep.

Would be so grateful for prayers for its prompt reappearance.

A trip to the fair

Today I took Hambet to the Montgomery County Agricultural Fair. Normally I would have gone with my husband, but we couldn't figure out a good time to do it -- last year, we went the first weekend and some of the exhibits weren't up yet. The year before that, we went on the last weekend and half the exhibits were being taken down. Going during the week proved to be a good time as far as everything being up, but I still didn't get a chance to leisurely stroll around contemplating the prize-winning zucchini because Hambet was with me (and he was determined to leave me behind.)

I love fairs. Forget the midway, I love strolling around and looking at all the animals and being glad there are kids in this world as happy and normal-looking as these 4-H kids. (A couple of boys set up their goat stall with a hilarious "Monster Goat Barn" theme: "If it's tense, and under pressure, and about to burst....MILK IT!" I am not recounting the jokes very well, but trust me, it was funny.) Hambet liked looking at the animals in their stalls, and sheep-shearing held his attention for a minute or two, but he really liked the petting area, especially when he got to feed the animals. He wasn't sure about the pony ride at first, but after the first lap he started to get into it. (I still don't think he fully understood the significance of a pony ride.)

It didn't seem like there were as many booths this year. Usually you can come away with buckets of literature and pencils and weird little toys, but not this year. Maybe I just wasn't looking as hard.

After a couple of hours, Hambet was starting to droop. I revived him (and myself!) with a strawberry milkshake so thick that the straws kept collapsing, and we headed off to the midway. Our destination was the Fire and Rescue display. Hambet got to see fire engines up close (including the tower engine, with its tower fully extended), and when the fire fighters gave him a little plastic helmet, I think his little cup of joy ran right over. They had an inflatable slide shaped like a fire engine, so he got to scramble around on that for a while. Finally I poured him into the stroller and we headed on home. I am getting ready to take him up to bed, and I suspect he's going to insist on bringing that hat to bed with him.

Speaking of babies....

baby Veronika has her own spot now on the family server, with plenty of adorable pictures. I cannot get over how big she looks in these pictures, and how many of them catch her smiling!

Jeff Culbreath has posted a lovely picture of his beautiful wife and daughter, Amanda Jane.
I had to link to it because not only is it a lovely picture, but it is very appropriate for the Two Sleepy Mommy Mommy theme we got going on here.

What Use Is Literature?

I so liked this article. It articulates perfectly why I swooned over novels and poetry as a teen, and why I longed to be a Writer myself. He even discusses Emma, my favorite Jane Austen book.

New treatments for hypochondria

A very interesting article about hypochondria and its possible link to obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Gregory Hines, may you rest in peace.

I know I am a day late on this, but I was not home yesterday.

I have always been a big Gregory Hines fan. Tap starring Hines as well as Sammy Davis Jr. and Savion Glover is an excellent movie, I recommend it if you get the chance to watch it.

I knew very little about his personal life, and I purposefully made a point of not finding out because there is nothing worse than being a fan of someone and finding out they are pro-choice or something. In the meantime, I was sad to hear of his passing, and I have been entertained by him for years.

May his soul and the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.

Peony, on obesity...

You made some excellent points. I know there are many different reasons why many people are overweight and I cannot judge them all. However, as a personal trainer and a Catholic, walking around each day, people I see have no concept of what a healthy portion size is and as Americans we lean towards overindulgence. It's like we have the right to eat until we are full because we can.

As a parent, I cannot tell you how often I see parents allow their children to eat until they are full, or allow their children to snack out of boredom. I am always the bad Mommy: "no, you cannot eat that, you ate, you are not hungry".

Your post was excellent. I could comment a great deal, but I do not want to be any more redundant than I already have been.

Well, We Are Moving to the Boonies

and I am so excited. Not exactly sure of the date yet. There is a bit of work that needs to be done to the house, like, um, well more electrical access. The house was built by Mennonites so there is little electricity to it. I told my husband I need enough for my washer because I am *not* going back to the laundromat like I did when we were first married. I need a fridge and most importantly of all, I need my computer. I have an unhealthy addiction to feed here-duh! We are just too funny. On top of the fact that I need a computer, my husband said we have to beg, borrow and steal for a cable modem. He can do with oil lamps, but he cannot return to dial-up. I bet you guys are so proud of how straight our priorities are.

Catholic Cults

I think I may end up leaving my Traditional Parish. It makes me very, very sad because I am so in love with the Traditional Latin Mass. The congregation is odd at best, cultish at worst. I recently have had first hand experience with Catholics who lie and refuse to take responsibility for their own children. This type of company I doubt is healthy for me.

As a result I attended a Novus Ordo Mass ala Albany this weekend. Ugh. The opening hymn-Gather Us In. *Groan* A homily about sexual prejudice. *Groan* Maybe I should move.

In the meantime many of the parishioners follow a priest (not from the TLM parish) who tells men it is more important to leave their families at home and pray in front of abortion clinics, and that wearing make-up and watching TV is evil. Um, none of this is Church teaching. But most of all he claims that in order to be a "real" Catholic, you have to prove it to him by praying in front of his abortion clinic and "real prolifers" are ones who get arrested-or so I have been told by one of his minions. I almost would report what is going on to the Bishop if we had a Catholic one.

How to find the Two Sleepy Mommies

freaky + friday + Lindsay + Lohan
anime + mommies
lindsay + lohan + lyrics
tom's + of + Maine
old + Catholic + kids + poems
attachment + parenting + pediatrician + Westchester + County
enfamil + by + the + pallet Check here first, okay?
lindsay + lohan + lyrics
lindsay + lohan + lyrics
lindsay + lohan + lyrics
kids + Spanish + Hail + Mary + activities
annabella's + salon + washington + dc
fudge + pie
rhubarb + crisp
lyrics + to + lindsay + lohan
lizzie + maguire + lyrics
dieting + while + nursing You too.please
Archbishop + Lefebvre + pictures + evil

Wow!

Mr Lileks went shopping at the same grocery store my parents go to all the time! (It's at the end of the piece.)

Ok, it doesn't take much to get me excited.

Check out chirp's new look!

including Davey's mommy's post explaining New York pizza.

Public Policy Targeting Obesity (may require answering a couple of marketing questions)

My favorite part:

"The word 'epidemic' doesn't even do this justice. It is one of the most profound medical crises we've had in generations," said Eric Topol, who as the chief of cardiology at the Cleveland Clinic treats the most serious obesity-related heart cases. "We are at the point now where it is so profound we have to be creative, and we can't take decades to fix this because it's happening so fast."... If he were a politician instead of a heart doctor, Topol said, he would have