More Sabbatical-ising
I am seriously stressed about moving. I finally admitted to my mother how stressed I am and she said "well moving is extremely stressful Pansy, I lost thirty pounds last time we moved." That made me feel so much better.
But the past events of my life need me to pay more attention to the real world. I think the stress is affecting my mood, and hence my blog. I am edgy, tense and emotional and I need to get through the move and stuff.
Misfit
Today we went to the airshow and saw the Thunderbirds. It was a whole lot of fun. OK, I have been feeling sort of pathetic as of late because in this country that I am a native of, I feel like such a misfit. When I lived in Fiji, I was not a misfit, despite the fact I was not Fijian, Indian, Australian or New Zealander. I was "Pansy" not that black, Italian, chinese, scottish, "dee-yamm I ain't never heard of a mix like that"girl. Once a week I dream of returning, and I wake up on the verge of tears to go back.
Now, how does this tie in with the air show? Whenever we go to "wholesome" family events, we are practically the only minority family. When we go to "minority"-esque events, we are the only white-ish family.
I thought when we fled to the TLM, it would be Catholic. See, the Churches in Albany are divided big time by culture. I thought the TLM was strictly "Catholic" and the pastor actually is. Many of the parishioners have their own bizarre agenda, so I do not quite fit in there.
This is not about race as much as it is about divisions, or "diversity". Why in the USA is diversity such a virtue to the point that some who was born here feels more at home at some small island in the South Pacific? Why is it after how many years after the abolishment of slavery we have made very little strides in race relations in this country?
There are times I have been angry at my parents for being counter cultural, enlightened and intelligent people for marrying and creating me not only biracial in a country that wants you to choose one side or the other, but raising me Catholic to be able to see through the typical lies society spreads. Sometimes I wish I was one race to be able to stick to one side. Sometimes I wish I was not Catholic so I could be ignorant and fall into line with the way society feels about things such as abortion, birth control and premarital sex. I so know what the saying "ignorance is bliss" means.
Sabbatical
Starting tomorrow morning, I am going to be taking a little break from the blogosphere for at least one week, maybe for two. I need to catch up on some projects, and it will be easier to avoid procrastination if I set a "no blogging, period!" rule for myself. (I will be checking email, in case someone needs get in touch with me to chastise me for miscopying a cookie recipe or or for whatever reason.)
I also want to humbly beg the assistance of St. Blog's with another, more personal project.
A couple of weeks ago, when Sparki shared with us the happy news of her pregnancy, she also included a very gracious nod to women of St Blog's who desired to conceive.
I am one of those women. I have occasionally alluded to the fact that I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, a hormonal disorder that makes conception difficult. When we were married, my husband and I dreamed of having a small army of children. We went through three years of infertility before Hambet was conceived. Now Hambet is two and a half. He needs brothers and sisters. I would be so grateful for prayers for our family, that God might grant us again the gift of life.
(A few weeks ago, Hambet was pointing out a baby he saw at the mall. I asked him, "Would you like a baby?" He seemed interested, so I asked again: "Would you like a baby in our family? A baby brother or sister?" He announced, quite firmly, "Baby sister!" So that is his intention. Hambet is exactly two and a half today.)
Garden Report
I went out and did a little work in the garden. I'm harvesting carrots now, and I think I'll have enough basil for a batch of pesto this weekend -- yum yum! The Roma tomatoes have lots of green fruit, and one tomato is starting to turn red. The Brandywine tomato is very tall now and has two green fruits. And -- hooray! -- no blossom end-rot! That blight took half my little crop last year. All that soil amendment and eggshell paid off.
I planted a watermelon for the heck of it and it is taking over its patch, so I made a little tent of poles for it to climb on. It has two fruit already that are about the size of bocce balls, and a few more little fruits the size of ping-pong balls. I'm still trying to grow those white eggplants. I have two plants that are still alive, but they haven't set any fruit yet.
I consulted the planting guide that the state extension office sent me, and was full of chagrin to find that I've missed the target date for planting broccoli again! I should have started seeds for transplants a month ago. I may just try planting anyway and see if I get anything.
I do have a garden tragedy -- three of my rhubarbs have withered away! I don't know whether it's the heat, or whether some of the weed killer my husband was using drifted over and killed them. How I hope they come back! But if they don't, I'll just try again next year -- in a different spot. We are setting up a little bed near our shed, and that seems like it might be a nice spot. Meanwhile, I've written to ask the state extension office for advice. I hope they'll have some encouraging news for me.
Chivalrous Siblings
I try to take the kids to the park each day so they can get some outside time. Now that we are moving to the country, we will not have to go to some location for the children to play outside. We try to go early before it gets too hot and icky out. Yesterday morning, the grass was extremely wet. Instead of letting my daughter walk through wet grass, my son insisted on carrying her on his back from one area to the other. It was cute except she is much bigger than he.
Greg Popcak and the Sibling Charting Thing
I guess it was about a month and a half ago I was at a birthday party when someone said "Hey, have you ever heard of Greg Popcak? I just read an article from Catholic Family News about him, and it's not good. He said brothers should do their sisters NFP charts." The excerpt from the article read:
The "Brother" Chart
Popcak also advocates that parents should spend quite a few years teaching their teens about Natural Family Planning (NFP) "in preparation for married life".
In Beyond the Birds and the Bees, Popcak wrote, "Explain to your sons that as God is giving them the gift of their sexuality, He is asking them to spend the next several years learning how to use that gift properly. Part of that means that if he marries, he will be responsible for working with his wife to determine God's will for their lives, including when to have children and how many children to have. These are decisions that need to be made every month in collaboration with his wife and with prayer. After he is married, part of his responsibility will be to help his wife do something called charting, which means that he will write down the different signs that tell how healthy his wife is and when they could have a baby. I am aware of some families where the brother may chart his sister's temperatures for her, or even some cases where the mother shares her own NFP chart (minus the coitus record, of course) with the intent of acquainting the young men and women of the house with NFP. I also know some families who object to this idea on privacy or modesty grounds."[6]
Ok, I personally find the idea of sibling charting icky. I am not comfortable with the idea of talking about my charts with my parents, or anyone else for that matter. I am extremely close to my three brothers, but, well, ohmygosh, the thought is just butt nasty. However, while I think the idea is uncomfortable, I do not see anything anti-Catholic here. Also, nowhere does it say "siblings" should chart each other, but that he knows families who do that and others who do not because they might think it's gross (not "modest").
I have a copy of Beyond the Birds and the Bees that I have yet to read, so I cannot really comment on the context anymore than what is written here. I do like what Greg has to say in Parenting With Grace and while I think some of the things quoted may be over the top, Greg is a therapist who treats families who I am sure may have been hurt by teenagers with a bad or immoral sense of sexuality. I don't know, I kind of think he is being attacked for attempting to put Church teaching into practical use for families, and I personally see very few people who do that.
As for NFP itself, I am not the biggest "pro-NFP" person, I guess I am not as sexually "open" as I should be. I am not "anti" NFP either. I do not like the concept that everyone has to avoid children. I think there may be reasons to avoid, but as someone who wanted nothing but to be a Mom for as long as I can remember, it is hard when people get into your business about how many children you have, and tell you to stop having kids. Saying "well, I'm Catholic" to shut them up and get them out of your business doesn't hold water because "well, you have NFP..." Ugh. Anywho there is a huge discussion going on at Catholic and Enjoying It! about the CFN article, NFP, ugly pictures of OL of Guadalupe and anything else you can imagine...
I plucked a few comments from the box that worded my sentiments better than I could ever:
Frankly, I find the whole neocon "joy of charting" business a bit rich. NFP is supposed to be used to delay or space children for serious reasons, like severe economic hardship or sickness. Unfortunately, the emphasis in pro-NFP literature on its effectiveness ("99% effective - better than s") and ism ("like a new honeymoon every month" - at exactly the time when your wife is biologically least interested in ) really does make it sound like Catholic birth control. I really have no trouble with the Missionaries of Chrarity teaching NFP on the streets of Calcutta. But surely no one can argue that the majority of young Catholic couples in North America seriously need to delay having children.Furthermore, God, in His wisdom, has already provided a form of NFP that doesn't require charting: it's called breastfeeding, which naturally curtails fertility until the newest child is weaned.
Mark Cameron | Email | 08.20.03 - 10:06 pm |
My wife and I have been using NFP since the day we married six years ago. I've said before on this blog that you can't believe either side. It is neither immiserating or ineffective, as its opponents say, nor is it easy to do and a bringer of unambiguous and unending joy to a marriage. It's difficult, and requires a lot of dying to self, but it's the right thing to do, and if the Church decided tomorrow that artificial contraception were licit, we'd stick with this. We like the natural way.
Now, let me say this: I don't feel that I'm in any position to tell another couple that they're using NFP for the wrong reason. You can never tell what's going on within a marriage. We knew this NFP couple who would have struck others as people who didn't have a good reason to delay having another child. What those not close to them couldn't ahve realized, though, is that the wife was struggling with depression, and putting up a brave face to the world while she was seeing a therapist and taking medication for her symptoms. They eventually did have another baby, after she got her depression under control. I wouldn't be surprised, though, if there were some NFP users in their circles who privately thought N. and her husband were using NFP for unjustified reasons.
Rod Dreher | Email | 08.20.03 - 10:26 pm | #
Just a Reminder
Greg Popcak is going to be on EWTN Live.
Healthy Home Air Stuff
In my continuing quest to help my son's asthma, I found some interesting info. One page I found from the American Lung Association offered healthy cleaning alternatives.
Alternative Recipes
Fortunately, many common products offer safe and effective cleaning solutions to the following problems:Grease cutter - 1 cup of lemon juice + 1 cup of water
Scouring powder - 1 cup of baking soda + enough water to form a paste
Laundry stain remover - 1 tsp. of white vinegar or baking soda per machine load
Toilet bowl cleaner - cup vinegar (leave overnight and brush the next day)
Floor and furniture polish - 2 parts vegetable oil + 1 part lemon juice (for leather furniture: 1 cup vinegar + 1 cup linseed oil)
Metal cleaners (brass and copper) - lemon juice + salt to form a paste OR a lemon wedge dipped in baking soda OR hot white vinegar + salt OR hot ketchup applied with a rag
Glass cleaner - 1 part vinegar + 1 part water
Rug and carpet cleaner - baking soda
Flies - well-watered bowl of basil
Moth Repellant - Cedar chips in cotton sachets
Roach Repellent - Chopped bay leaves and cucumber skins
Another interesting tidbit I found is certain plants hel clean the air.
Growing plants in your office can be a relaxing and enjoyable escape from the "daily-grind". Besides offering an aesthetic value which many can appreciate, they also improve air quality. They do an excellent job of cleaning up the moisture within your office space in addition to filtering dangerous toxins.
Tip: Place aquarium gravel (found at your local pet shop) in your planting pot to reduce the growth of molds and mildew.
According to the Health eOffice website, the top 12 air-cleaning plants are:
- Areca Palms (chrysalidocarpus lutescens)
- Lady Palm (Rhapis excelsa)
- Bamboo Palm (Chamedorea Seigrizii)
- Rubber Plant (Ficus Robusta)
- Dracaena Janet Craig (Dracaens deremensis "Janet Craig")
- English Ivy (Hedera Helix)
- Dwarf Date Palm (Phoenix Roebelenii)
- Ficus Alii (Ficus Macleilandii "Alii")
- Boston Fern (Nephrolepis Exalta "Bostoniensis")
- Peace Lily (Spathiphyllum sp.)
- Corn Plant (Dracaeba Fragrans "Massangeana")
- Golden Pothos (Epiremnum Aureum)
Katolik Shinja on the roots of granola conservatism.
Thanks, Steven, for this link.
Dinka writes about her new life, and changed figure...
The remains of the pregnancy and everything it took to let this baby out. It's scary. I am left with the miniature version of a classic beer belly, no, not a cute left-over pregnancy belly, but a flabby weird-shaped nothing sticking out with a dark line down the middle. All my other body parts that seemed proportionate to the big thing in front now suddenly appear their actual size and I feel every single pound. I know it's been only 2 weeks and it will all go back to normal, but, my god, what happened to me?! I guess it's "Motherhood Maternity"-fashion for me for another couple of months. Sigh.
For me, there is this secret competition to prove what a good mother I am, and part of that is "and see, she got her figure back so quick." I do not even know what that is all about. I do not know if it is a Pansy Moss thing, or the fact that our society is so embroiled in the Culture of Death that there is no appreciation for women whose shapes change due to child birth. Maybe a little of both.
I found out about Google Fights thanks to Roberto Diaz in his comment over at Fr. Sibley's.
Let's see.... (winners in bold)
Harry Potter (5,810,000 results) versus Luke Skywalker(123,000 results)
Gordie Howe (20,700 results) versus Wayne Gretzky (94,400 results)
Dominicans (68,400 results) versus Fransiscans (302 results)
(but, as Davey's mommy points out, correct spelling can change things!) Dominicans (68,400 results) versus Franciscans (79,500 results)
sorry, Kathy and Steven: Dominicans (68,400 results) versus Carmelites (33,400 results)
Opus Dei (84,600 results) versus Regnum Christi (11,300 results)
SSPX (6,780 results) versus FSSP (83,100 results)
St Michael (561,000 results) versus Satan (419,000 results)
Rush Limbaugh (148,000 results) versus Sean Hannity (39,700 results)
We still have more work to do: Mother Angelica (81,800 results) versus Hillary Rodham Clinton (113,000 results); Pope John Paul II (459,000 results) versus culture of death (2,220,000 results)
but hope springs eternal: Hillary Rodham Clinton (113,000 results) versus Blessed Virgin Mary (249,000 results); God (42,700,000 results) versus abortion (2,340,000 results)
Cardinal Ratzinger (22,000 results) versus liturgical abuses (7,380 results)
mutual submission (454,000 results) versus beer (7,940,000 results)
Here's one for Erik: home rendered lard (5,190 results) versus shortening (492,000 results)
breastfeeding (938,000 results) versus bottlefeeding (5,180 results)
Two Sleepy Mommies (2,220 results) versus chirp (133,000 results)
Pansy (299,000 results) versus Peony (166,000 results)
Wifely Submission Stuff
And when it comes time to decide how Hambet will be educated (parish school v. homeschool), the decison will be made the same way.
This is an example that comes to mind. Before we sent Rosey Posey to kindergarten, we thought about school choices-Catholic school or this homeschooling stuff we heard about. Public school was not an option, I had gone through the public school system. My husband had gone through the parochial school system and he was unimpressed by any Catholic pressence moral or theological. We considered homeschooling and I was doing the "but what if, but what if" stuff. My husband finally said to me point blank "try it for one year and see how it works out." It was not an order but more of a firm decision where I could not find one. I took that firm choice as a sign from God through my husband. To be honest these types of decisions come few and far between. When they do come up, and my husband "takes the reigns" so to speak, I am actually quite comforted and relieved and try to leave the rest to God.
My example, I think, is quite similar to Peony's. Now if my husband said something real whacked like "ok, let's start a family business of drug trafficking" or something equally immoral or just plain crazy, I do not think it is necessary to be submissive.
The other dimension of "submission" people are talking about is day to day living. Cooking and cleaning, that sort of thing. I love being a housewife. Part of me shows love by acts of service such as feeding people and doing little things for them. The nature of love is it is pleasurable to give love as well as receive love. Somewhere, feminists decided that traditional housewife roles were a show of bondage as opposed to liberation-or something like that. But how is it demeaning to do what one wants with their life?Even if things go awry in a marriage, is it bad to hold on to the things that are stable, such as cooking, cleaning etc? Should someone throw out any show of love for someone in tough times?
I think perhaps this may differ from family to family. Some families, the women need to just get out. Some are situations that are temporary, or what ever. It is hard to say.
Peony, your marriage prep course sounded really cool. Ours was, well, it was not worth the time of day. I learned little to nothing about Catholic teaching on marriage in it.
So what does wifely submission look like? (or, you catch more beer with honey than with vinegar)
In the discussion over at Jeff's blog, Michelle wonders about how wifely submission works out on a practical scale. Maybe we can toss that around a little bit here.
Perhaps people would be more open to the teaching of hierarchy in the family if they knew that there were actually wives out there trying to live it. As I commented at Jeff's, I think a lot of people out there -- women and men -- have deformed ideas about obedience and authority -- that obedience is abject servility and authority is arbitrary, absolute power -- and that they have to unlearn these old ideas before they can be open to this teaching. Otherwise, you're going to have a lot of throughly modern Millies tossing their heads -- no way are they going to be subject to any man! -- because they think submission is servility, that it means not feeling free to spend $2.00 on a latte at the mall, that it's fetching beer for some cartoon fundamentalist tyrant in a recliner. There are also men out there who jump at the chance to be petty kings in their own home, forgetting that Godly kingship is service, not tyranny. They want to be the Sun King instead of St Louis.
Our marriage prep classes (conducted in the Archdiocese of Washington) actually did (briefly) touch on this teaching. One of the presentations was a "video presentation" -- part of a taped lecture by Dr. Scott Hahn on the chapter on Ephesians. In the lecture, Dr Hahn clearly discussed wifely obedience, and made it clear that this was not some first-century relic -- that it was a model of the Church's obedience to Christ. And he did not forget St Paul's instructions to husbands: You are to love your wives as Christ loved the Church. That means you have to lay down your life for her. (I noticed that my fiance seemed to be a much more attentive during this part of the presentation.)
in practice, I think the headship of the husband is going to look slightly different for each family, based on the different talents and personalities of the spouses. In our own family, the first time I consciously thought, "ok, time to do that wifely submission thing" was when we were engaged and deciding where our first home was going to be. In the D.C. metro area, there is a cultural divide between Virginia people and Maryland people. Usually it's just the stuff of gentle teasing, but some people get really worked up about it (especially Maryland people.) When we were engaged, we were both living in Virginia, but we started considering moving to Maryland. At that time I was a confirmed Virginia person. My husband had moved to the area a little more recently, so he didn't see this as the huge identity issue I did.
We looked at apartments on both sides of the river, and went back and forth in our minds. I made my case for Virginia, he made his case for Maryland. But eventually it was time to make a decision, and he said, "Maryland."
I still didn't want to move to Maryland, so what was I going to do? Was I going to whine and moan and henpeck and wheedle and manipulate until I got my own way at last? Or was I going to heed St Paul and... submit? I chose the St Paul route.
(When I told my good friend Iris, a confirmed Virginia person (and a member of a fundamentalist church), that we were planning to move, I only mentioned that my fiance was firm on Maryland and that's where we were going to go. She immediately (and approvingly) commented, "doing 'the Ephesians thing,' aren't you?")
Same thing with buying our house. We discussed together whether or not it was time to move, but he had the final word. When we were choosing houses, he paid attention to my input and I paid attention to his, but when he vetoed a house I liked, I didn't whine, moan, wheedle, etc. just to get my own way -- we moved on and looked at other houses. And when it comes time to decide how Hambet will be educated (parish school v. homeschool), the decison will be made the same way. I trust my husband, and know he will show respect for me by discussing the issue with me and listening to my thoughts on the issue. But if we come to differing conclusions, he will have the final word.
Anyway, that's how this particular wife thinks about submission and puts it into practice. It is easy to do, in that I know my husband pays attention to my thoughts and that I know he is making decisions with the best interests of the whole family in mind. In daily life, I do most of the cooking and cleaning, and I try to keep my husband's tastes and preferences in mind in the way I run the house. At the same time, my husband doesn't act like he's condescending, or doing me some immense favor, if he runs the vacuum or cares for his own child. I don't feel like I'm "being ordered around." He doesn't lie around in the recliner demanding beer, but I'm happy to bring him one because I want to do something nice for him.
But it's easy to do when things are going well (and it doesn't always run this smoothly at the Maryland Moss household, for that matter.) For families where the husband is domineering or neglectful, or where the wife is greedy or contentious, this is where obedience and authority become crosses, and I don't know what to say about that.
We Went to the Fair Too!
Yesterday we went to 7.30 am Mass. It was great because they had a missionary priest from Peru, so it was a good Mass. Then we went off to the Altamont Fair. It was nice, cool and empty so early. We went and checked out the dairy goats, and chickens. I wanted info on raising dairy goats and chickens, but no one was around. We looked at cows, horses and all the 4-H barns. Then I found in the farthest corner what seemed like the "Pansy Moss" barn labeled Michael's. They had judging of quilts (no, I do not quilt), scrapbooking, sewing, baking and canning. I signed up to enter one of jams for next year. What fun!
Then we walked around and there was a lady making soap and she walked us step by step through the process. Very interesting. I would do that if I could, but Fastolph and lye in a house-sounds real bad.
Then we went to visit my parents. Woes me, two of my brothers are leaving on Friday for school. One will be a freshmen at Cornell, the other a sophomore at UB Buffalo. I am going to miss them. *Humph* do they really have to leave me and go off to school and stuff? OK, I guess so. Growing up and stuff, shame on them!
Channeling this energy into something positive.
My four year old loves women, particularly teenage girls. People chuckle about it "Oh, he is such a little playa," but I am seriously worried. I have never seen anyone flirt as much as Fastolph does in my life.
Here are a couple of examples. We were at Hannaford checking out and the bagger was a pretty blonde teenage girl. First he started grinning at her. Then he asked "what your name?" He then asked her various other questions, and she seemed quite charmed, (they all think he is "soooo cute").
As we were leaving he said to her "I see you later" while he nodded his head and grinned. Aaaagh!
Another example was when I buying sunglasses at a kiosk in the mall manned by what else, teenage girls. My son is not shy, but for this moment in time he decided to play shy. He hid behind me and would peek out his head at the girls just enough so they would start squealing, squeaking and saying "oh, he is so cute!" Then as soon as they squeaked he would hide back behind me.
He played this game until I completed my purchase, tugged at his shirt and said "C'mon".
This list goes on, like how he wishes he could get thrown out of the house so he could move in with two teenage girls from our Church.
I am really worried. We were at some restaurant and a poor waitress said "oh, he's going to be a heartbreaker"
"I don't a heartbreaker! I want a good responsible family man who is dedicated to one wife and provides and loves his children!"Poor woman.
I am really worried about this. If I pray hard enough, maybe he will turn out like Mr.Luse or something, you know a dedicated family man who seems to really love women.
Cheetah Girls Review
To quote Rosey Posey "Wow, that movie was butt cheesey." Yes, there was a huge scene at the end where the main characters dog falls down a hole and it suposedly brings down town Manhattan (which is really some place in Canada and doesn't look like Manhattan) to a halt. When the dog is recovered, they have to stop and perform a musical number. Couple that with overuse of the term "cheetah-licious" and that was like more corn than I can handle for one night, let alone in one movie.
But the girls were very cute and very talented. Watching them sing and dance was a lot of fun. I really liked the way the movie broke down racial barriers a bit, without making it the basis for the silly movie. PC, I know, but I get a kick out of it. That is one place the media can catch up with the real world.
Hee hee, I made Posco help me with the tapes
Now we are going to watch The Cheetah Girls.
Hmm, Catholic Exchange validated my fears about what Freaky Friday is about...
I keep seeing the scene where Jamie Lee Curtis supposedly in Lindsay Lohan's body touches the long hair and says "this isn't mine" and then grabs her rear and says "This certainly isn't mine!" or something to that effect (how soon we forget about that scene from True Lies). The flip side is Lindsay Lohan inside Jamie Lee Curtis's body exclaiming "Oh I am old! I'm like the Crypt Keeper!" Everytime I see that preview I flinch and think "oh, not another teens are so cool and everyone else is square" movie.
DEO GRATIAS: FOUND!
A big thank-you to Saint Anthony, the guardian angels of the house, my dear husband, and everyone who prayed for the safe recovery of my engagement ring (and the other ring I lost!) I just found them-- and in one of the first places I should have looked: the air return duct in our family room. Hambet, the little magpie, loves to see what he can fit into that register cover. I've recovered bank cards and all kinds of other things from that duct.
I had actually lost two rings -- an engagement ring and another ring I keep in the same place -- but the engagement ring was the one that really had my stomach in knots. Yesterday I was tearing my house apart looking for the rings: moving the refrigerator, completely taking apart the dresser, emptying drawers, turning out pockets, the bit. I even sifted through all the trash, including the trash that we'd already taken outside. On his way out the door this morning, my husband remembered the register cover and suggested that I check it today. Before I did, I wanted to check at Home Depot to see if I could get a replacement register cover (it looks awful, so as long as I was taking it off, I might as well replace it.) They didn't have one in the right size, so I just came home, unscrewed one side of the cover, and peeked in. And there they were!
I am so grateful to my husband for being so calm and understanding about this. Not a word of rebuke; only forgiveness and optimism.
Notes to self: 1) Keep an eye on the jewelry, and keep it out of reach! 2) Next time something small is missing, check the register cover before looking anyplace else.
Davey's mommy and daddy, take note!
Oh brother
I think I have blogged about my grandmother occasionally. She lives about 2.5 hours away down state in a small city called Mt.Vernon, NY. This is a city in Westchester County on the border of the Bronx that is four square miles, yet extremely densely populated. For the most part, much of the Italian population in this city is most likely a distant relative of mine.
My grandmother is a hypochondriac who suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder. That is somewhat excusable, except she is also a control freak. For example, she has a fit if I leave home, and believe it or not, every chance I get, I like to take the kids and run the streets (you know, go to the movies, cook-outs, Church and other such activities) in nice weather. She does not approve of my "gallivanting" so every time I leave the house she has to make me pay. This is her new hobby. She leaves tons of messages on my answering machine. If I do not return the call or show up, she calls my parents and starts harassing them. Her latest line is "I got so nervous and hysterical, I could not sleep because I thought the baby was dead from asthma. "
The first time I was like "Ok, it is a misunderstanding", but it has gotten worse each time I left the house. A few weeks ago I went out for coffee with a girlfriend and my husband told her as much. The next morning I got "I was so worried I could not sleep, why would you go out? Who was this girl you went out with?" To top it off, I have other family (she resides with her brother and sister) calling me and asking why I am worrying my poor grandmother. Ugh.
Today I called to ask if her power was put back on (that is the other thing, if I do not call in the face of any kind of emergency, whether I know about it or not, I get lectured for not calling). Her power is not back on. She complained about how her fridge is disgusting and flooded from all the ice they put in it. Duh, I mentioned how our new home has an ice box with tubes to drain water and how that would have worked out in an emergency like this. I was fielding calls from her brother asking me if my husband was forcing me into this life. If they took the time to get to know me, rather than control me, they would know what I want. He also said how much they worry about me (stop worrying), how if we move they can never visit us because we will be too far but you do not visit us now, I invited you to Posco's First Holy Communion and you did not come).
I love my family I do, but families can be such a source of agita.
I'm bored
I am supposed to be packing, but I do not know what to pack first. Books? Hubby said video tapes. Video tapes? Ok, whatever. I will be submissive and pack tapes because I do not know where to start packing anyway. It is times like these (well, usually anyway) when I can get into the wifely submission thing, because I am quite indecisive. It is a symptom of my perfectionism. "What if I pack the such and such too soon and we need it? What if I pack it wrong and it gets crunched?" The only problem with video tapes is I am secretly hoping for not enough electricity for the TV. Hubby wants the TV. For the most part, I figured God wired us on two ends of the extreme (me wanting to throw the whole TV out the window and Hubby wanting a big screen surround sound "entertainment system" and 900 cable channels) to meet somewhere in the middle? So I am submissive by allowing TV with cable that I periodically cut off. We usually end up with 6 months on, six months off.
Wifely submission
HMS Blog has been kicking around the topic of wifely submission, and Jeff has further commentary, with an excerpt from Casti Connubii, over at his place (including illiterate ravings in his comment box by yours truly.)
No Lie
I was sitting here reading How to Live Without Electricity and Like It by Anita Evangelista, and the power went out! The very first chapter was on preparing for power outages. I felt it was almost my fault!
How could I raise my children if I were not Catholic?
There have been some significant events in my life as well as discussions that have had me reflecting on this question recently. Since we are moving to the country and will obtain a neighbor-free status, one of my brothers hinted at putting the children in school. I thought it over for about a second. I understand why my brother made the suggestion because I have had the same thoughts. The kids need to be occupied. I am hoping living in the country where they can run free and have a list of chores will remedy some of that. They also need some "normal" friends. I kind of agree with that too because the world is not comprised of Catholic homeschoolers, so exposing them to a variety of people makes sense. So there is the conundrum.
Sadly, none of you St.Bloggers with kids live anywhere near me. Oh no! You have to make life difficult by living off in the Washington area and California-except for Alicia the Midwife, but her kids are older. So here we are, public school types or homeschooling types.
In NJ, I was blessed to be surrounded by orthodox Catholics who happen to homeschool. We were blessed though because Fr. John [McCloskey] really set the tone and charism for orthodox Catholics in that area. Without strong leadership like that, things get weird.
So when I was thinking about my normal secular friends, I was thinking about how they reflect American culture. Many have some moral "stops", for example cheating on a spouse is wrong for the most part-yet I know people who have cheated for simply "falling out of love", murder is wrong-but abortion is OK in the light of a serious situation, drugs are bad-yet smoking weed for the most part is OK because "everyone does it" and it is "not a serious drug like crack". The biggest thing many people I know do that upsets me is lying. Please do not think I am being horribly judgmental, I am not. I think many people are not murderers or adulterers, but many will lose their souls and a chance for a more fulfilled life in the little things, and I am trying to protect my children from this school of thought.
Here is an example, I had a conversation yesterday about renting moving trucks:
Me: I am thinking we might rent a smaller truck for local delivery and make a few trips back and forth. That might be cheaper.
Other Person:Oh yeah, until you rack up the miles. Maybe you can take out the fuse [I forgot the exact word he used] to the odometer so they won't know.
Me: Um, no, that is like illegal and immoral.
Other Person: It is if you get caught.
I have conversations with people like this all the time. "White" lies are OK if they save money, so is "minor" theft. It seems that wrongdoing is not wrong unless you get caught. I am afraid of dropping my children in such a moral environment. Maybe I am being overly judgmental and scrupulous, but I think this type of thinking is more dangerous to our children than letting them read Harry Potter(to be honest, I think when you let the little things slide, that is when stuff like Harry Potter becomes a danger). I do not think I would see the difference were I not Catholic. I wish I did not have to be so extreme to get by in what my conscience tells me is right.
So Peony, when you were at the fair...
did you and Hambet devour one of those batter dipped and deep fried Oreos? I have seen those at two different fairs and to my husband I said "Would you look at those! How absurd, they must be a thousand calories each and I bet you can feel your arteries hardening when you eat them!" Inside I said "Mmmmm, batter dipped deep fried Oreo, aaaahhhhh"(think Homer Simpson). That will be our little secret-you, me and everyone else on the Internet.
Not praying the Divine Mercy chaplet?
This may be a good reason to start. (WaPo; marketing questions.)
Thanks to Mark Shea for the link.
A trip to the fair
Today I took Hambet to the Montgomery County Agricultural Fair. Normally I would have gone with my husband, but we couldn't figure out a good time to do it -- last year, we went the first weekend and some of the exhibits weren't up yet. The year before that, we went on the last weekend and half the exhibits were being taken down. Going during the week proved to be a good time as far as everything being up, but I still didn't get a chance to leisurely stroll around contemplating the prize-winning zucchini because Hambet was with me (and he was determined to leave me behind.)
I love fairs. Forget the midway, I love strolling around and looking at all the animals and being glad there are kids in this world as happy and normal-looking as these 4-H kids. (A couple of boys set up their goat stall with a hilarious "Monster Goat Barn" theme: "If it's tense, and under pressure, and about to burst....MILK IT!" I am not recounting the jokes very well, but trust me, it was funny.) Hambet liked looking at the animals in their stalls, and sheep-shearing held his attention for a minute or two, but he really liked the petting area, especially when he got to feed the animals. He wasn't sure about the pony ride at first, but after the first lap he started to get into it. (I still don't think he fully understood the significance of a pony ride.)
It didn't seem like there were as many booths this year. Usually you can come away with buckets of literature and pencils and weird little toys, but not this year. Maybe I just wasn't looking as hard.
After a couple of hours, Hambet was starting to droop. I revived him (and myself!) with a strawberry milkshake so thick that the straws kept collapsing, and we headed off to the midway. Our destination was the Fire and Rescue display. Hambet got to see fire engines up close (including the tower engine, with its tower fully extended), and when the fire fighters gave him a little plastic helmet, I think his little cup of joy ran right over. They had an inflatable slide shaped like a fire engine, so he got to scramble around on that for a while. Finally I poured him into the stroller and we headed on home. I am getting ready to take him up to bed, and I suspect he's going to insist on bringing that hat to bed with him.
Speaking of babies....
baby Veronika has her own spot now on the family server, with plenty of adorable pictures. I cannot get over how big she looks in these pictures, and how many of them catch her smiling!
Jeff Culbreath has posted a lovely picture of his beautiful wife and daughter, Amanda Jane.
I had to link to it because not only is it a lovely picture, but it is very appropriate for the Two Sleepy Mommy Mommy theme we got going on here.
I so liked this article. It articulates perfectly why I swooned over novels and poetry as a teen, and why I longed to be a Writer myself. He even discusses Emma, my favorite Jane Austen book.
New treatments for hypochondria
A very interesting article about hypochondria and its possible link to obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Gregory Hines, may you rest in peace.
I know I am a day late on this, but I was not home yesterday.
I have always been a big Gregory Hines fan. Tap starring Hines as well as Sammy Davis Jr. and Savion Glover is an excellent movie, I recommend it if you get the chance to watch it.
I knew very little about his personal life, and I purposefully made a point of not finding out because there is nothing worse than being a fan of someone and finding out they are pro-choice or something. In the meantime, I was sad to hear of his passing, and I have been entertained by him for years.
May his soul and the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.
Peony, on obesity...
You made some excellent points. I know there are many different reasons why many people are overweight and I cannot judge them all. However, as a personal trainer and a Catholic, walking around each day, people I see have no concept of what a healthy portion size is and as Americans we lean towards overindulgence. It's like we have the right to eat until we are full because we can.
As a parent, I cannot tell you how often I see parents allow their children to eat until they are full, or allow their children to snack out of boredom. I am always the bad Mommy: "no, you cannot eat that, you ate, you are not hungry".
Your post was excellent. I could comment a great deal, but I do not want to be any more redundant than I already have been.
Well, We Are Moving to the Boonies
and I am so excited. Not exactly sure of the date yet. There is a bit of work that needs to be done to the house, like, um, well more electrical access. The house was built by Mennonites so there is little electricity to it. I told my husband I need enough for my washer because I am *not* going back to the laundromat like I did when we were first married. I need a fridge and most importantly of all, I need my computer. I have an unhealthy addiction to feed here-duh! We are just too funny. On top of the fact that I need a computer, my husband said we have to beg, borrow and steal for a cable modem. He can do with oil lamps, but he cannot return to dial-up. I bet you guys are so proud of how straight our priorities are.
Catholic Cults
I think I may end up leaving my Traditional Parish. It makes me very, very sad because I am so in love with the Traditional Latin Mass. The congregation is odd at best, cultish at worst. I recently have had first hand experience with Catholics who lie and refuse to take responsibility for their own children. This type of company I doubt is healthy for me.
As a result I attended a Novus Ordo Mass ala Albany this weekend. Ugh. The opening hymn-Gather Us In. *Groan* A homily about sexual prejudice. *Groan* Maybe I should move.
In the meantime many of the parishioners follow a priest (not from the TLM parish) who tells men it is more important to leave their families at home and pray in front of abortion clinics, and that wearing make-up and watching TV is evil. Um, none of this is Church teaching. But most of all he claims that in order to be a "real" Catholic, you have to prove it to him by praying in front of his abortion clinic and "real prolifers" are ones who get arrested-or so I have been told by one of his minions. I almost would report what is going on to the Bishop if we had a Catholic one.
How to find the Two Sleepy Mommies
freaky + friday + Lindsay + Lohan
anime + mommies
lindsay + lohan + lyrics
tom's + of + Maine
old + Catholic + kids + poems
attachment + parenting + pediatrician + Westchester + County
enfamil + by + the + pallet Check here first, okay?
lindsay + lohan + lyrics
lindsay + lohan + lyrics
lindsay + lohan + lyrics
kids + Spanish + Hail + Mary + activities
annabella's + salon + washington + dc
fudge + pie
rhubarb + crisp
lyrics + to + lindsay + lohan
lizzie + maguire + lyrics
dieting + while + nursing You too.please
Archbishop + Lefebvre + pictures + evil
Mr Lileks went shopping at the same grocery store my parents go to all the time! (It's at the end of the piece.)
Ok, it doesn't take much to get me excited.
Check out chirp's new look!
including Davey's mommy's post explaining New York pizza.
Public Policy Targeting Obesity (may require answering a couple of marketing questions)
My favorite part:
"The word 'epidemic' doesn't even do this justice. It is one of the most profound medical crises we've had in generations," said Eric Topol, who as the chief of cardiology at the Cleveland Clinic treats the most serious obesity-related heart cases. "We are at the point now where it is so profound we have to be creative, and we can't take decades to fix this because it's happening so fast."... If he were a politician instead of a heart doctor, Topol said, he would have every American weigh in at the post office on tax filing day each year. (emphasis added)
To put my comments in perspective, I have been overweight as long as I can remember. I went from being mildly chubby as a child (although I thought I was enormous, since I took to heart the comments of my peers -- Hey, I saw you at the movies, Jabba the Hutt! -- and the disapproving looks of the school nurse) to being a plump teenager to a fat young adult. (The last phase took place when I watched my weight shoot up by about 50 pounds when I was in nursing school and then starting my career.)
First of all, Dr. Topol, have you not learned yet that shame and humiliation are not effective ways to get overweight people to lose weight? More on this to come.
How much of this obesity "epidemic" is real and how much is manufactured? I resent being asked to get all excited about numbers that seem inflated -- it seems like every time the government juggles the definition of "overweight" by twiddling with the BMI statistics or whatever, another ten million Americans wake up to find out the government thinks they're fat. When they get these numbers, are they factoring out the very fit and muscular, whose high BMIs make them statistically overweight? How about the outliers -- the very, very large people? If you have a couple of five-hundred-pound people in your sample, that's going to throw off your statistics. What about the aging of the population, as more and more boomers discover middle-age spread?
That being said, there are more and more overweight Americans, and more and more heavy kids. And a good deal of this collective weight gain is directly related to the fact that we as a nation eat more and exercise less than we used to. People got much more exercise in the 'forties and 'fifties just by going about their lives: they walked to the bus stop, they drove cars with manual transmissions, they used manual typewriters, they hung laundry on the clothesline, they went bowling in the evenings instead of hanging around watching cable. When they did stay in to watch television, they were getting up and down to change the channel and adjust the antenna. They did not eat out as often, and when they did, they were served smaller portions
I don't think that hectoring people with public service ads (Get off the couch, fatty!) is going to do any good, though. Has it yet? And the government can slap as many taxes as it wants on DVDs and sodas; I doubt it's going to make much of a dent. To me the real root of the problem is the frenetic pace at which we live our lives. Our society's disdain for housewives and traditional domestic arts has led to adults that don't know how to plan meals and cook in the best of circumstances. People are working longer hours now, and when you're putting in a ten-hour day and going home to small children and a house to clean, when are you going to have time to go to the gym and make some healthy food from scratch? So much easier to pick up some take-out and flop on the couch for a while. Take-out and convenience food, though, is highly processed and full of sugar and fat. Plus, all this grinding, day-to-day, never-goes-away job-commute-whining-tired-children-not-enough-sleep-dirty-house stress causes our bodies to release stress hormones that further aggravate obesity by increasing both our appetites and our bodies' propensity to store fat.
Look around -- food is everywhere, in restaurants, mini-marts, vending machines, and any kind of store you could think of. I don't buy candy on impulse, and I tend to just not even see it when I'm shopping. Having a toddler, though, opened my eyes -- candy is everywhere (and Hambet sees it all, of course, and loudly asks for it!) I just about gave up when I went to Borders and couldn't even get past the front door without Hambet pointing out the candy and soda displays by the check-out desk. (I suppose one never knows when one might pass out from hunger while waiting five minutes to pay for the books.)
It's just normal life now to be surrounded by food in large quantities, and when you're already stressed and not eating well, your body is not in logical, "It is not rational to purchase a Big Gulp and a Snickers. It is not rational to heat up a frozen pizza for the third time this week. It is not rational to eat ice cream out of the carton while standing in front of the open freezer. The rational choice is to go to the grocery store, choose some healthy food, stand in line to buy it, bring it home, find a clean pan, open your low-fat cookbook and learn to cook something." mode. If your body is starved for nutrients and crazy with stress hormone, that rational part of your brain is not operating at all. Your body is in that animal, Calories! Familiar food! Now! Eat it! mode.
And as for exercise, there are still a lot of people out there who think that exercise means looking like the models in the Bally ad -- that exercise is for other people, people who are already thin and beautiful, not for people like me. Other people simply don't have a safe or pleasant place to walk. Try walking to lunch in Tyson's Corner, Virginia! I dare you! In my county, more people are killed by cars than are killed in homicides. Some women are embarrassed about their appearance, especially wearing exercise clothes. I wonder if Dr Topol has ever gone for a walk, and had men lean out their car windows and call him a fat bitch?
Add to this that our society is not big on temperance and delayed gratification... (go ahead! buy that car! have sex! don't worry about waiting for marriage, just take a pill now or take care of it later -- not that it's really a baby...)
Doctors and anti-obesity harpies would be a lot more successful if they would be a little more sympathetic and remember that "eat less and exercise more" can involves enormous amounts of relearning and reprogramming. People who were once thin and then gain a little weight may have more skills to call on. People who have always been fat and don't know what it's like to be thin -- who can't even imagine themselves thin -- may not have those skills.
I also think that it would be helpful if doctors would realize that sometimes obesity is the symptom and not the disease. There are over 200 genetic components, yet to be studied, that control appetite, satiety, and metabolism. There is so much that is unknown about how our hormones and nervous system work together in our incredibly complex bodies.
I know for myself it was very discouraging to rapidly gain about fifty pounds in my early twenties and not be able to figure out why. Of course, at the time, I was preoccupied with the fact that I was depressed, had bad acne and a deranged menstrual cycle, and was trying to launch my nursing career even while feeling stressed and very lonely. It took ten years before I was finally diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome, which is a hormonal disorder that, among other things, makes it easy to gain, and difficult to lose, weight. And even after I had this diagnosis, I consulted an endocrinologist for help (Can you please tell me about treatment options for this disorder that makes it almost impossible to lose weight?) and his "help" was, "Well, first, lose some weight -- you could easily lose at least sixty pounds...." Easily? Thanks, pal. I much preferred the candor of another doctor who, after I asked him "tell me how to lose all this weight you want me to lose", admitted, "well...I don't know."
(While I'm ranting, I'd also like to give a shout-out to the doctor who told one of our patients that the reason that her legs suddently started hurting was because she was morbidly obese (never mind that she had been obese the week before and had not had leg pain.) She did get a second opinion, but by the time her doctor discovered the genetic blood disorder that was causing her blood to clot abnormally, the clots in her legs that were causing the pain had led to so much tissue damage that she had to have both legs amputated below the knees.)
Some practical public policy initiatives might include subsidizing more exercise programs, including more innovative "starter" classes reserved for those who are very fat or unfit. Some health insurance companies already offer their members discounts at certain gyms; maybe more companies could do this. Local governments could encourage developers to make new projects pedestrian-friendly. Go ahead and get those candy machines and Channel One freebies out of the school. Reinstate P.E. (perhaps you could free up some time by cutting sex ed?)
We could also tone down the immoderate way in which we approach health, in which we get all excited about the latest study and look at food as aggregations of biochemicals instead of as nourishment? First it was cholesterol, then it was dietary fat. Food manufactuers happily put the American Heart Association seal on any low-fat, low-cholesterol food that met the AHA's numbers, leading people to think low-fat Lucky Charms are good for you -- they're low in fat, aren't they? Now trans fat is the villian du jour, and Dr. Topol thinks it should be not just labeled but outlawed. How long until we move on to the next dietary bad guy? All we're doing is training people to either become food fanatics or roll their eyes and say, "well, everything's going to kill you, so pass the ice cream."
And, memo to the medical establishment: how about doing more research into why people become fat? Why do some people become fat and some people stay lean? How in the world do some people gain hundreds of pounds -- are their brains or their metabolisms wired differently? Tell us more about why women gain quickly and lose slowly. Maybe there's a reason for middle-age spread that we haven't discovered yet. Maybe people are somewhat right when they say, "It's in my family" or "it's my hormones." How about doing more research into therapeutic strategies to overcome poor body image, eating disorders, and learned helplessness?Maybe we should focus on fitness and health instead of on weight, so that people don't wreck their metabolisms with yo-yo dieting.
Ultimately, I don't think this problem is going to be solved by having the government throw money at it and having doctors nag at us. This problem is not going to be solved until we address the crazy way we live our lives; until our society winds down to a saner pace that affords us enough time to take a walk, get some rest, and learn to cook real food and eat it with our families; until we remember what real people look like (especially women who have had babies), stop worshipping youth and beauty, and stop expecting women to look like adolescent boys all their lives; until we leave perfectionism and gluttony behind and embrace temperance.
Wow!
Thank you so much to Mr. Peter Vere for plugging us not just once, but twice in one week over at Envoy Encore!
To new visitors to our blog, welcome! We're not much into protracted comments-box bickering over current events and theological issues. But if you want to get away from that kind of thing for a while and talk about just living the Christian life, especially Christian family life, pull up a chair, pour yourself a cup of coffee, and have a cookie.
Keeping kids reading
Today, I found Lynn's blog Scattershot Direct ("Truth, beauty, darkness, and ire, all coming to you directly through the random focus of a Catholic mom, horror writer, and wannabe organic rancher"), which looks full of all kinds of interesting tales and observations. A sample:
the kid agreed that it was rather dubious that the Vatican would ever agree to give priests some sort of bioengineered/nanotechnology modifications, even if it did make them into superior vampire killers....
She's got a three post series on encouraging children to develop the habit of reading (be patient; at this writing her page is loading erratically):
Part One: Harry Potter is an easy book for children to enjoy-- the reading level is not too high for most readers, but it's straightforward enough to appeal to even higher level readers. The action is both swift and predictable-- something is going to happen in each season, there will be danger and jokes, and there will be lots of images which are easy to visualize. Chocolate frogs, say, or a giant bearded groundskeeper, or a ginger-furred tomcat with torn ears. It has a very broad appeal. It gives children a taste of the pleasure that is to be had from reading. And then, when the children attempt to replicate that pleasure by reading another book, the troubles begin....Part Two: Now comes the tricky part: how do you get parents to understand books? You know, something as simple as *more* categorization of juvenile and young adult titles might help a great deal, for the children and their parents. Grouping books of similar reading difficulty and subject together, that might work. Having the shelves organized by topic (there could be a special shelf for seriously depressing, albeit noble and topical novels that are in line to win lots of awards.) How difficult would it be to make sure 10 year old kids can *find* Eager's "Magic" series when they finish HP? It can't be too trying to put game and movie tie-in novels on the same shelf as the video game magazines. (I know, this falls into the area of the big agreements between retailers and companies, but those are evil anyways. Abolish.) What must be overcome, however, is the public perception that books are something esoteric and rare, something you buy only once in a great while. And while I hate to say it, the answer may rely partially on the Evil Corporate Entity that starts with "Wal" and other corporations of that ilk....
Part Three: Unlike television, books allow for a slower and more developed view of character, motivation, and plot. This deeper involvement is what gives books their emotional resonance....
Looks like Lynn lives around San Antonio. Does Blue Bell Ice Cream still have their Cherry Amaretto flavor? If so, I hope she'll scoop herself a nice yummy bowlful for me.
I so have to thank Elinor Dashwood of Mommentary for coming to our defense, but my blog about how we must look like the Two Fat Ladies was meant to be humourous.
Elinor writes:
What brings this on is a comment posted on Moss Place in response to Pansy's concern that readers who noted their interest in recipes might think they were "two huge women who can fit into nothing but muumuus and who sit at the computer all day because entry out the front door is almost impossible." In other words, it's a slight variation on the quintessential wifely anxiety, or "Does this blog make me look fat?" Why should they care if it does? They have families, friends, responsibilities - why do they care if somebody out in cyberspace gets a mistaken impression about their appearance? Why would they care if that same hypothetical reader approved of their appearance or not? They write a damn fine blog - anyone who imagines that his opinion of their looks makes a dime's worth of difference one way or the other should dry up. I've no time for those Catholic men - and there are some - who profess to admire a woman's character, purity, generosity, and goodness, and also think it would be great if she had a hot bod. Stuff it, turkeys.
When people meet me, they find it funny that one of my favourite subjects is food, and Peony and I laugh because it is something we had in common. I apologise if it seemed a show of insecurity. It really was just a chuckle on how much the Two Sleepy Mommies love things food.
A prayer request
Bill White of Minute Particulars is requesting prayers for his wife.
Thanks to alicia for the heads-up.
Chocolate Chip Cookies
This is a favorite family recipe. In college, a friend used to call these “destroyers” (as in, they destroy your will to resist.)
It makes a light, flavorful cookie with a hint of crisp. To Christmas-ify it, you could substitute red and green M&Ms for the chocolate chips.
My sisters and I used to experiment with adding different flavor extracts. I liked almond; we also got good results with a hint of peppermint extract.
Chocolate Chip Cookies
1 cup shortening, butter, or margarine (I get the best results with half shortening, half butter. Shortening gives a nice texture and butter gives a nice taste)
1 cup sugar
½ cup brown sugar
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla
2 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
12 oz chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 375 degrees and grease cookie sheets.
Cream shortening and sugar until fluffy. Stir in eggs and vanilla until smooth.
Sift flour, soda, and salt together and stir in.
Stir in chocolate chips.
Drop by spoonfuls onto cookie sheets. Bake 10-12 minutes. Cool on a cooling rack.
Is there a particular saint to pray to for discernment?
Yesterday we went to look at a house that someone mentioned was free out of the blue. Moving to the country was something we have always wanted to do for years now, but figured "we would someday". It is not a desire I have had until we moved to upstate NY. I am not sure if it is an age thing, a child rearing thing, or the fact that once you see how incredibly beautiful New York state is, you feel sad returning back to the city because you feel short changed.
We saw this house yesterday and it is a dream come true. Thirty acres to open the back door and say "boys"( remember I have three so far) "go outside and play". I cannot do that here in Albany. No neighbors complaining about how noisy we are, no teenage boys next door making nasty remarks about how he should "come over and visit me" because I had so many babies. This house would save us literally $375 a month in housing costs alone, and probably another $200 in heating costs a month. I could put my children in all the activities I wanted to with the extra denaro. My husband could go back to school 6 miles away instead of 40. Although he would be trading a 20 minute commute to work for a 50 minute one.
So what is the problem? Number one, I am afraid to make such a huge decision on the curtails of our marital problems. However, all the problems my husband was stressed about, or so he said, this literally takes care of them. Maybe that will help (so he can get some). Number two, I have been dying to move to the country, now that I may, this city girl is intimidated by the idea of having no neighbors.
It seems like a chance from God, but I just need to pray for discernment to know for sure.
Another baby story:
Such hard labor, such blessed results.
Dinka has posted her birth story.
Thanks to gnat from Mothering With Grace, who gave us this recipe.
The first time I made these, last fall, I turned my back for a moment (the fatal last words) and turned back around to find Hambet standing on the table with a muffin in each hand and a third stuffed in his mouth. He looked up at me and explained, "yummy!" Later, I sent the recipe to my mom, who made some for my grandma, who also pronounced them "yummy." So there you go, endorsements from age 2 to 92.
1 1/2 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp cloves
1/4 tsp allspice
1/4 tsp salt
2 eggs
1 cup pumpkin
1/2 cup butter, melted
1 cup chocolate chips
Mix dry ingredients and set aside.
In large bowl, beat eggs. Stir in pumpkin, melted butter and chips. Slowly add dry ingredients, mix well. Spoon into muffin pan. Bake 2-25 minutes at 350.
For mini-muffins, use mini chips and decrease baking time to 15-18 minutes.
(gnat says milk chocolate chips are especially good in this recipe)
Let's continue the ethnic food theme with a North Dakota delicacy: bars! Bars are a kind of very substantial cookie. They are great for picnics because they don't fall apart easily. They sit at the very tippy-top of the food pyramid -- purely recreational food.
Scotcharoos
In a saucepan, bring to a boil:
1 cup white sugar
1 cup corn syrup
Remove from heat and stir in until smooth:
1 1/2 cups peanut butter
1 tsp vanilla
Stir in 5-6 cups rice-krispie type cereal (cheerio-type, special-K type cereals also work too)
Mix until the cereal is coated and put in a 13x9 inch pan
Frosting:
12 oz bag semi-sweet chocolate chips
6 oz bag butterscotch chips
Melt these together in a microwave or on the stovetop until they're just soft (try 1-2 minutes in the microwave at first); mix until chips are blended. Spread over the bars in the pan.
Put it in the fridge to set for a couple of hours. After they set, they can be left at room temperature.
Ooh, I just thought to ask you whether or not you have a recipe for pasteles boricua. Do you? Yumm! :op
Since you asked so nicely...Be patient with me, this is another recipe I have written down from watching...
Pastele Filling
3 pounds diced pork
2 large garlic cloves
3 cilantro leaves
3 recaio leaves (mortar together garlic, cilantro and recaio with 3 tablespoons annato oil)
1 medium onion diced
1 green pepper
2 tomatoes
1.5 jars drained olives and pimento
.75 of ham steak diced
salt
Cook all together-pork first, then add the rest of the ingredients and simmer for one hour. In the meantime start the dough.
Pasteles Dough
4 green bananas
2 plantains
2 medium-large potatoes
Peel and puree vegetables in a food processor until well blended-peel plantains separately. Use a small amount of milk to moisten. Add some annato oil to give it some colour (.5 a cup olive oil and .25 a cup of annato achiote in a small pan and simmer 10-15 minutes until colour is released and cool completely).
Have one can of chick peas drained and separate.
Take a piece of pastele paper or banana leaves, rub a small amount of annato oil on it. Put a tablespoon (serving size) of dough mixture and spread as thin as possible. The add two tablespoons of the meat mixture. Add like 3 or 4 chick peas. Fold paper or leaf over so the dough covers the meat. Fold paper up like a burrito and wrap with another leaf or tie with a string. To cook, boil for an hour (or freeze at this point and boil later). I am not lying, my recipe says here "serve with rice and gandules".
Puerto Rican Arroz con Gandules (Rice with Pigeon Peas)
This is one of the staple dishes in the Upstate NY Moss household. It is not a dish I grew up with, but rather my husband did. When I was a newlywed I had my mother in law make it while I watched and wrote down everything she did so I would be able to make it for my husband. Normally I nor my mother in law make this dish with measurements, but I wrote it inmeasurement form in order to have it in print. I personally add ingredients to taste. The only problem is my sense of flavour and the authentic Puerto Rican dish do not mesh-in other words I like to either add hot peppers or simply smother it with hot sauce on my plate. I also do things like make it without the chorizo or tosino (fat back) and make a vegetarian dish, or even add some vegetable instead. I also use brown rice, but short grain and a bit more water.
Anyway, I could still use prayers, things are still not so hot, so I am drowning my sorrows in talking about food. That is always great for a pick me up!
4 cups white rice (preferably long grain)
5 cups water
1 can gandules verdes (pigeon peas)
4 tbsp olive oil
1 small chopped onion
1 small green pepper
5 small sweet peppers (small peppers that look like scotch bonnets, but are not hot)
1.5 packets of Sazon seasoning
8 recaio leaves, chopped with stems removed (flavour similar to cilantro)
2 or 3 chorizo sausage
2 tbsp stuffed green olives
.5 tsp chopped garlic
.25 cups sofrito or recaito (you can find it jarred in the Goya section-I prefer recaito)
.50 cup tomato sauce
.50 tsp oregano
.25 tsp black pepper
2 tsp adobo
In a large saucepan or rice pot, heat oil. When oil is hot, saute onions, then add peppers, recaio leaves and chorizo. Saute until chorizo is brown. Add olives, garlic, sofrito, sazon and tomato sauce. add rinsed rice and water. add black pepper, oregano and adobo.
When rice absorbs some of the water and starts to simmer, lower flame to simmer and cover. When rice is dry, it';s finished. Serves 8-10 and recipe can be cut.
Who are the Two Sleepy Mommies?
When Peony and I first met our first conversation was about food. I think the first thing she said was "so, what's the Iron Chef cooking tonight?" It was soon after I coined the phrase "men love women who give them food". This theme (food lovers) seems to have been common in our blog (if you haven't noticed).
It occured to me that our readers must picture us as two huge women who can fit into nothing but mumus and who sit at the computer all day because entry out the front door is almost impossible. Two women who type with one hand, hold a haunch of some type of game in the other hand and TYPE and CHOMP...
Woohoo!
I got surprise bling-bling from Uncle Sam in the mail today. Gosh, what a materialistic and shallow mood picker-upper!
If you did not get yours yet, you can check here for the status of your Advance Child Tax Credit.
A Slice [of pizza] a Day Keeps Cancer Away!
The combination of cooked tomatoes and olive oil make the traditional Italian pizza a possible miracle food.
Reasearsher in Italy have found that regular pizza eaters had.
34% less risk of oral cancer
25% percent risk of colon cancer
We think that there is a specific compound in cooked tomatoes that is protective.”Says Silvano Gullus, PhD.
So my diet needs more pizza! Ha ha!!!
Scooped again!
I fell over laughing last Sunday at this Baby Blues comic strip.
Alicia beat me to actually blogging it, though!
Now for the cum omnibuspart.
So what do you like on your pizza? It took me a couple of reads to figure out what was going on at the chirp house with that zucchini pizza. At first I assumed that the zucchini was being used as a pizza topping. Then I looked again and saw that the zucchini was part of the crust of the pizza. It sounds like it was some kind of weird quiche thing. I guess I am a food Tory or something, because to me that is not pizza. Pizza involved bread with stuff on it, not stuff on top of non-bread stuff. Mollie Katzen should call that thing what it is, and it is not a pizza.
And the stuff on top of a pizza should not involve zucchini, either! No trying to sneak broccoli on the pizza either, that is just fake.
I like smaller amounts of things with a strong flavor, so even if I weren't opposed to zucchini on ideological grounds, I think it would just be too bland and watery. I actually do not care for pepperoni, it makes me unbearably thirsty. I like things like ham (especially prosciutto), well-drained sausage, mushrooms, olives, things like that. The pizza I made last week had chicken, olives, mushrooms, and bacon. One of these days I'm going to make what I am told is a pizza quattro stagioni (ham, mushrooms, artichokes, and anchovies.)
I am open to trying exotic and unusual ingredients. My dh and I honeymooned in California (Carmel and Monterey), where we tried pizza topped with smoked salmon and gorgonzola. We really liked it, and we make it at home sometimes.
There is a restaurant nearby that lavishes such vast quantities of toppings on its pizza that it's hard to see the (mounds of) cheese through the swarms of toppings. Then you lift your slice and the toppings rain down on the plate. I am not crazy about that "dump every possible ingredient in huge quanitities" approach. So I guess that means I am not of the tribe of Chicago-style pizza.
It is amazing how deeply satisfying pizza is. Did God give us a pizza-loving gene? As soon as Hambet figures out I am making pizza, he literally jumps for joy. He stands at the oven door and watches it bake. When I pull it out of the oven, he leaps into his booster seat. Once I slid the pizza onto the cutting board, turned around for a moment, and turned back around to find Hambet standing on the table, crouching low by the pizza, rolling the pizza wheel all over it.
I make pizza dough in the bread machine. I make some in advance to keep in the freezer too. I have had a problem making pizza dough in muggy weather, so I am glad to have some in advance.
As for the sauce, I make it like I make my regular gravy, I just season it with oregano instead of basil, for example.
I am actually making pizza (with soy cheese) for lunch today, but I am cheating with store bought pizza dough. We have an Italian bakery down the street that sells only Italian bread and balls of pizza dough for .80 cents.
Da mihi nunc sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo.
Now it is my turn to comment on pizza dough. First, the disclaimers. I have mentioned occasionally that my upbringing was mostly suburban, and my early culinary experiences were heavily influenced by my mother's growing up on a farmhouse on the prairie. (For real! They had electricity and all that, though.) What this means is that I have no Italian heritage to call upon, no fond memories of Noo Yauk pizza parlors (I wouldn't mind, by the way, if someone were to give me the 411 on what exactly makes a pizza "New York" style.) I don't own a pizza stone -- I had one but I accidentally broke it, and I haven't replaced it because I found it to be bulky and difficult to store, and because I hated the pizza peel.
My mom makes pizza that we always liked just fine when we were growing up. She made the dough herself and baked the pizzas in jelly-roll pans. For a long time, homemade pizza was our family's traditional Christmas Eve dinner. I also made pizza in college that my friends seemed to like (I never had leftovers.) Cooking in college was one step up from camping -- my pizza pan was the metal lid to a 13x9 inch baking pan. I also am not an experienced bread-baker; pizza dough is pretty much the only thing I make with yeast.
The point of all this is that purists and pizza virtuosos are probably going to laugh and sneer at these reflections. They are going to scoff at my crust and denounce it as too puffy, not authentic, whatever.
Well, they can go jump in the lake. This is not even pizza 101, but it's a reasonably successful recipe and my friends always ate the pizza all up. It is a combination of the recipe as given to me and my own annotations. I tried to stay away from anything too fancy or scary sounding.
Equipment: A baking sheet is essential. I strongly recommend an oven thermometer for this and any kind of baking (this lesson learned after many tears shed in nursing school over ruined cookies baked in an oven later discovered to be running 100 degrees too hot.) I also like using an instant-read meat thermometer (the kind that looks like a dial on a stick, or like a tire gauge). An oven safe mixing bowl (two bowls are helpful), a hand towel, measuring cups.
Pizza dough for two a la Chandler Hall (makes one 11-inch pizza):
1 pkg active dry yeast (I never got the rapid-rise, the regular kind worked just fine for me. If you double the recipe, you still only use one package of yeast)
1/2 tsp sugar
1/2 cup warm water, about 110 degrees. You can use the thermometer to check the temp of the water if you're nervous. It should be about the temperature of a newborn's bathwater, not the temperature of your bracing hot (or cold! shower.) You want to give your little yeast organisms a nice spa experience.
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 Tbsp olive oil
1 cups bread flour, with more flour for sprinkling (I got satisfactory results with all-purpose flour. If you are just getting started, I would hold off on whole wheat flour until you get the touch; it will make the dough stiffer. Then use half white, half wheat, experimenting until you get the ratio you like best.)
1. Turn your oven to warm or whatever its absolute lowest possible setting is. Get a pastry cloth or a board ready (a cutting board or any clean surface will do) by sprinkling about 1/3 flour over it.
2. In a large bowl, sprinkle yeast and sugar over water; let stand for 5 minutes to soften. Don't worry if you see beige foam on the water -- that's the yeast cranking up.
3. Add salt, the 1 1/2 Tbsp oil, and 1 cup of the flour; mix until dough is elastic and pulls away from the sides of the bowl. Take the dough and turn it out on your board. Knead 5-10 minutes until the dough is smooth and springy (I've heard some people say, "like a baby's bottom") with small bubbles just beneath the surface (don't get too anxious about the bubbles, this is a subtle sign and you will be able to feel them better than you can see them.)
4. Lightly grease the oven safe bowl with olive oil and plop the dough in it. Turn the dough over so the top is greased too. Cover it with a towel, pop it in your oven, and turn the oven off. Let rise until roughly doubled in volume (45 to 60 minutes.)
Pizza sauce
If you want, you can make a nice pizza sauce while the dough is rising. You need a 28 ounce can of crushed tomatoes in tomato puree.
Take a saucepan (a 4 qt should be big enough) and pour in some olive oil. Heat it on medium until the oil is warm, shimmery, and sizzles a little (but not spattery.) Meanwhile, if you want garlic in your sauce, peel two cloves and mash them flat with the flat side of your knife. (You can use garlic powder in a pinch) Add the smooshed garlic to the oil. Mmmm, doesn't that smell good? Don't let it burn or get brown. When the garlic is kind of soft, add the tomatoes and stir in 1 tsp oregano, 1/2 tsp of basil, 1/4 tsp garlic powder if you didn't have any fresh, and around 1/4 tsp of salt.
Let the sauce simmer on the back burner on low heat for at least 30 minutes. Get your pizza toppings ready: grate your cheese (or cheeses), fry your sausage, slice your mushrooms, whatever.
Lightly grease your baking sheet (I use shortening.) You can dust the sheet with cornmeal if you have it.
When your dough is ready, take it out of the oven and punch it down. Move your oven rack to the lowest position and heat your oven to 450 degrees.
Take your dough and start shaping it. It sounds like is the tricky part for everybody. This article on pizza has some hints on stretching the dough out. (It also has a pizza recipe that I have used with some success, but it calls for a food processor.) I still can't do it exactly the way they talk about in the article -- it might be because I make smaller pizzas -- and it definitely won't work exactly as written for this recipe, because this recipe makes a small pizza. Basically you want to start shaping the dough in the air, using your hands to gently stretch it into a disc, a little at a time in each direction. If the dough tears, don't panic, just scrunch it together and try it again. In his comment over at Kathy's, Erik suggest popping the dough in the fridge to cool it down if it is too springy. I will be trying this hint at the first opportunity.
When the dough is as streched out as you can get it in the air, move it to your baking sheet and finish up there. Use your fingertips to gently stretch the dough. I have better results if I keep moving, doing a small section at a time, not letting any part of the dough get too thin. Sometimes I'll even pick a section up and pull it a little bit. I wish I could be more exact, but I'm not good at describing what I mean. With each pizza I get a bit better. And phooey to the Authenticity Police, I do use a rolling pin if nothing else works.
Turn up the edge if you like, and let's put the toppings on! First take some of that delicious sauce and spread it out over the pizza. Then add your cheese (I personally do not care for gobs of cheese, and prefer smaller amounts of mozzarella combined with sharper cheeses.) and your other toppings.
Slide your baking sheet into the oven on that lowest rack and bake for 15 to 20 minutes. Pull it out when it's done and let it stand for a couple of minutes. Slide it onto a cutting board (use a spatula to loosen it from the pan, if needed, and guide it onto the cutting board) and enjoy.
If you have any leftovers, they freeze well. You can also use this dough to make calzones: On a board, shape the dough into smaller circles (6-9 inches in diameter.) Put some toppings on half of each circle and fold the other half over. Press the edges together. Prick the tops with a fork and lightly brush the tops with olive oil. Transfer to the greased, cornmealed baking sheet. Bake as above. I made a couple of these on Friday and froze them for my husband's lunches.
Great, another overly-long Peony post. I hope this was helpful to someone.
Welcome Veronika Therese Souzek!!!! She is soooo beautiful!!!
My husband came home this morning
I wanted to thank you all for the prayers. This type of problem is really embarrassing to put on such a public forum but I have such incredibly high regard for the people of St. Blogs. You guys are Catholics like none I know in real life (except my immediate family who are considered really weird). You guys are funny, down to earth so faithful and I knew you would storm heaven with prayers on our behalf and offer gentle, kind words of encouragement. Of course you guys delivered. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I do not think we are in any way out of the woods yet, but it says something that he is here. I can think a little clearer and not exist from panic attack to panic attack.
Dark Night of the Soul
A few minutes ago I heard my husband's key in the door. I heard his footsteps come into the bedroom. "Your home," I said and my husband told me "I'm so sorry"...and I woke up. So here I am, up at 1.57 am blogging because I do not know what else to do.
Very often I would get annoyed when I would hear people whose lives were less than perfect poo-pooh the Church. In my housewife circles it is usually from women who are ticked off at God for having a child with disabilities and/or who does not want more children as a result and hates the Church teachings on birth control. I, who loves the Church teachings on marital theology, would go on about how Our Lady at Fatima said she cannot promise us happiness in this life, but in the next, and about why the teaching on birth control is so lovely. I suppose I lacked charity.
Right now I am wondering where God is. I am hurting so much, I am daydreaming about any activity to make the pain stop: getting drunk, getting high, getting dolled up and finding some guy to charm and hang onto my every word and tell me all the wonderful things I need my husband to be here telling me. I will not do those things, but not out of moral sensibilities or because any of that is a mortal sin but plain and simply because I have children here who need me, who need me to be as stable and present as opposed to absent as possible. I am a little afraid of my sick reasoning right now. No, very afraid because if my children were not here, I would be doing some or all of those activities.
I am starting to wonder where God is. I have been praying and making novenas from the first moment my husband's behaviour became "odd" to no avail. Yesterday I asked my father the deacon why God is not answering my prayers? Marriage is a sacrament showering us with graces, we attend Church, we have Holy water in the house, we are open to life, how is this happening? My father said that I do not know that God is not answering my prayers and the fact is my husband has free will. Whatever, I thought. So he has free will, so there is no point of praying right? It is just starting to feel like the Church is a made up institution like all the homosexuals in the media of late want us to believe. Although I think a necessary one to truly keep us in the direction we should go in, but I am wondering if the Mystical God part behind it is real. I am starting to think not. Like that "he has free will" thing is the answer people pull out to logically prove God is there when He is not.
It is Sunday morning and in a few hours I have to get the children up to go to Church. I am not sure where we will go or when. I cannot bear the idea of going by myself with the four children, especially the two youngest who are quite rowdy. Something we did as a family with routine and stability. Now it will be a supreme chore, and I am not sure how to get through it. I do not want to go. How childish is that? What a big baby I am being and I cannot get out of my own emotions and tunnel vision. If God is real after all, why would I even take the chance of denying myself the graces? The only thing that will get me to Church later is the "if" because I am not sure of anything anymore.
I would not wish this on my worst enemy
You know I must be desperate to be broadcasting this on a weblog, but I am. My husband who prior to June 22 was my flesh and blood, my love, my best friend, partner and other half has left me with no explanation besides "he cannot stand to be around me". He cannot "stand to look at me" he told me. How beautiful does a woman feel when her husband cannot stand the sight or her? My children are wondering when Dad is coming home. I have no idea what happened.
I think I have had the nightmare a few times when my husband would say "you, why would I love you" and I would cry in my sleep. My husband would wake me up when he heard me cry and tell me that my dream was silly. Now I am not waking up and God doesn't seem to be hearing my prayers...
House Report
This afternoon I went on a huge dust-and-vacuum crusade, including wiping the baseboards and the tops of the door frames. Now the house smells sweet and clean, and Hambet has dozed off in a chair, where he was taking refuge when I was vacuuming.
It's so easy to put stuff like this off, and the longer you put it off, the worse it gets, and the more you want to put it off, losing sight of how easy it is to put things to rights and how much more pleasant it is when you finally do it.
Someday I'll be watching the movie of my life, and I'm not sure which part will be the most dreadful: reviewing the opere or the omissione.
Garden Report
I am excited about gardening again -- now that we've finally gotten some sun, the plants are perking up nicely. Both of the Roma tomatoes have blossoms and are starting to set fruit. I think the biggest threat to my tomatoes now is going to be Hambet -- he picked two of the tiny tomatoes last time we were out! The Brandywine is tall and vigorous but no blossoms yet.
A couple of weeks ago, when I was training one of the Romas around its little teepee, I was a little too rough and snapped off a piece of stalk with its leaves. Just for fun, I tried just sticking it in the ground to see what would happen. It's rooted and is starting to grow. So I transplanted it to the square vacated by the poor departed "Taxi" tomato. I will be quite tickled if it survives. More of the basils are starting to sprout -- some in really weird locations -- so I transplanted them to better locations. If the basils all make it, I will be running a pesto factory by the end of the summer. The white eggplants are starting to revive, too, so perhaps they will end up being a success as well.
I'm really pleased with this square-foot scheme -- the intensive gardening idea really does seem to help keep the weeds down, and it's easy to spot and yank any weeds that do pop up, so there's less temptation to put weeding off.
The front bed -- herbs and flowers -- is looking a lot better, too. I did lose another lamb's ear, but the rest seem to be doing really well. The herbs are doing great. I moved two rosemarys and they seem to be adapting to their new spot. The mints and purple sages are also flourishing. I've been making ice cream with the mint; perhaps Erik can suggest something to do with all that fresh sage.
Blessed Junipero Serra. A blessed saint's day to all (or whatever one calls a Blessed's day -- yet another way I was cheated by poor catechesis -- but I digress), especially our California bloggers, and to Dinka, who may be having a really exciting day today!
UPDATE: Oh, for silly -- I somehow failed to notice that the calendar was still turned to July. Happy St Alphonsus Ligouri Day!
While I was poking around this morning and updating the links, I came across this little treasure, originally posted on Apologia:
We are not sent into this world for nothing; we are not born at random; we are not here that we may go to bed at night and get up in the morning, toil for our bread, eat and drink, laugh and joke, sin when we have a mind, and reform when we are tired of sinning, rear a family and die. -- Cardinal Newman
I think I may have posted this before, but I like it so much, dad gum it, I'm going to do it again.
Wow, Erik has moved too.
At this rate, Pansy and I will soon be the only ones left at blogspot. It's unlikely that we'll be using any of the pin money on a paid host.
Wow, dear Mr. Luse has his own domain name now!
Pansy and Peony: The Two Sleepy Mommies
