July 2008 Archives

Warning: This is nothing but a personal, bitter rant probably induced by hormones as a means of self-therapy. I know I have been doing a lot of that lately, but I think blogging keeps me saner in real life.

Here is a great example on Baby Boomer commentary in regard to Humane Vitae. This comes via The Curt Jester.

This paragraph is so typical of ANYTHING written on ANY topic by that generation:

The baby boomers recall vividly the Vietnam War Tet offensive in January; the April assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.; the Paris Peace talks and riots in May; the June assassination of Sen. Robert Kennedy; and the August protest riots in Chicago at the Democratic convention among nation-shaping events that year.

Gosh, I don't know why mankind just simply didn't stop right after that generation since they achieved perfection. Hell, they had the Kennedy's. How can anyone compete after that? (Yes, sacrcasm).

For all their blubber about social justice and polling on "true life experience in regard to birth control", have they even stopped and looked at what is going on in friggin' China? Nope, because they know better that Paul VI about social justice. After all, he was only the Vicar of Christ. This isn't about experience, this generation were too busy "living their lives" to be parents, and now 832 years later, they are too busy living their lives to be grandparents. Out of four, living Baby Boomer grandparents, my children will never know what it really like to have one true, Grandma type like I or my husband did. Every kid I knew from my generation was practically raised by their grandparents. Our parents were too busy to spend any weekends, vacations, or holidays with us, and were told what a burden we were when we had to be home on weekdays. Now they are post-menopausal and still kvetshn because they have grandchildren who come to visit.

Stop whining about your personal injustices, 40 years of that is enough. If you are Catholic, be Catholic. If you believe in God and feel that He gave us the Catholic Church to help us know what the heck to do, then believe He gave us the Church to direct us. Period. That means no birth control. Look at it in reverse, if you believe the Church is mistaken about birth control, then yo believe the Church has no idea what it is talking about. How can it be reliable on any topic? If that is the case, why be Catholic at all? Well, trusting Humane Vitae means truly appreciating the people in your lives as gifts. And why not? What else is there? For all the "I should have aborted you" Baby Boomers, and "whew I did my time" Baby Boomers, and the " When I was small, I always wanted a little girl...until I had you." Baby Boomers (my mother imparted that gem to me when I was 8), I wonder how the grass would have been so incredibly greener on the other side. Why does it take so much more energy to love your kids than it does to complain, complain, complain about having them. (Yes, I am bitter as my kids will never know what it is to have a Grandma that bakes with them giving them mini-rolling pins and mini-baking pans, or a Grandpa that takes them to the park and pushes them on the swing for hours because he adores spending time with them. However, my children will never have a parent telling them they should have been aborted.)

[/rant]

Hey, in more important news that we all can relate to, Ryan Seacrest was bitten by a shark.

Whenever I hear the term "Catholic Community" I bristle. It is a common, "trendy" term in this diocese. Many parishes have huge gold-leaf signs declaring "(add Church name), a Christian Community in the Roman Catholic Tradition". That always leaves me wondering "Huh? Are they Catholic? Why not simply say 'Roman Catholic Church?'" instead of automatic "Oh, a Catholic Church. Cross yourself." So when I think of the term "community", I automatically think "trendy baby boomer buzzword". I am sure I am not alone when I feel that for liberal Churches, the notion of community has overrided the notion of Communion. It means "join us in the Spirit of Vatican II, and we'll all have a great time complaining about the injustices of the Church!"

That said, I think many Catholic Parishes actually lack in this department.* I was at a Church meeting last night, and the topic came up "after we tell people they cannot contracept, what do we offer them?" Of course the obvious came up-NFP, talks on Theology of the Body and all that very good and necessary stuff. I raised my hand and said that while I think that is necessary, I also think families need practical help. These days many families are alone in raising their family, and the idea of another child is just overwhelming. To my joy (for not feeling like I said something stupid), someone jumped right in and said "That's true, in Amsterdam in the 60's people didn't think twice to have a large family because grandparents, aunts, and uncles all lived like next door. It was never a problem, you always had help. You could always send a kid somewhere, or there was someone to bring a meal when you were sick..." I mentioned that cooking was a big deal. It has been very difficult to cook for my family with morning sickness and would have loved help in that department. And when I feel better, I would love to help someone else in the same department. And I do mean that, I derive great pleasure from cooking for people.

It amazes me how many issues are just under the surface of being "pro-life". When you start considering the issue, it is so much more than just being "anti-abortion". It's like when I see some toddler person was eating crackers on the living room floor and have to vacuum up the mess. First I realize that before I can vacuum, there are cut up pieces of paper all over the floor, my tape measure and spools of thread that must be picked up. Before I pick up my spools of thread, I have to get my sewing table in order, and the kids arts and crafts box must be located to put the scissors away. It is a much less overwhelming job if someone takes a small part in it-someone puts away the scissors, someone straightens the sewing table, someone vacuums... I lost my train of thought...what was I talking about? Was it about how you should never give a mouse a cookie? Oh, being pro-life, yeah. Just that there are so many smaller issues involved and it seems the other side has had a very good head start at taking them apart little by little, and we have a lot of work to do building them up piece by piece, and each person can do a small part. But I see it happening. We can never go back to the way things used to be, but we can start something new.

Oh gosh, where did my 19-month old get those Teddy Grahams?

*yeah, yeah, I know, not if you live in the Diocese of Arlington where you have women's groups, and awesome home schooling groups and probably nifty "Bake a Cake" women's nights in the Parish kitchen once a month...I am so not jealous.

Spirit and Life® readers will be well aware of the ongoing campaign to legalize abortion on demand in the Caribbean nation of Jamaica. Our valiant pro-life friends in Jamaica have just informed us that they need prayer this coming week as the abortion issue comes before their Parliament.

Details at Island Breezes.

But when you allow sin to darken the intellect and make you stupid, that's what you do: lie, believe the lie, and then act on the lie.

Gorbulas flips through wedding pictures.

"Mommy,, when you get married, do you have to go find someone to marry?"

Pansy cuts up a pink grapefruit and gives it to Fredegar.

"Oooh, look, Mommy give me a grape-orange!"

Background can be read here.

P. Z. Myers has demonstrated that he will go out of his way to offend the sensibilities of anybody who holds anything sacred, to treat whatever they hold sacred with public contempt. The problem thus is not limited to Catholics and Muslims. Since, in Myers own words, "Nothing must be held sacred," and since he is willing to desecrate anything that others do hold sacred, the university must conclude that Myers is willing not only to outrage Catholic and Muslim students, parents, alumni, and citizens but members of any other group as well.

Myers is thus incapable of effectively carrying out his mission as an educator and his position must be terminated.

He also is in violation of the University of Minnesota Code of Conduct, which holds that faculty members "must be committed to the highest ethical standards of conduct" (II:2) and that "Ethical conduct is a fundamental expectation for every community member. In practicing and modeling ethical conduct, community members are expected to: act according to the highest ethical and professional standards of conduct [and] be personally accountable for individual actions" (III:1).

Contact info:

To voice your opinion on this subject, contact the offices of the president and the chancellor:

President Robert H. Bruininks
202 Morrill Hall
100 Church Street S.E.
University of Minnesota
Minneapolis, MN 55455

Via phone: 612-626-1616
Via fax: 612-625-3875
Via e-mail: upres@umn.edu

Chancellor Jacqueline Johnson
309 Behmler Hall
600 East 4th Street
Morris, MN 56267

320-589-6020
E-mail: grussing@morris.umn.edu

And whining every few hours in the Facebook status block is not enough. The other night I was gagging through doing dishes. It was after supper, which always means I am sicker than before I ate. I break out into sweats, the fatigue worsens, and the nausea just doubles. So here I am expending every ounce of energy I have to get through the dishes and please, please hold down supper. Rosey Posey was at my side yakking about the imperative need to have her hair put in dredlocks right away. I nodded and "uh huhed" through the conversation paying close attention to the task at hand until I heard a chorus of "Mom? Mom? Mom? Can't you do it? Can't you do it right away? I read it doesn't have anything to do with not washing? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?" to which I answered "Rosey Posey, please..."

To that she stomped off and tattled on me to her father. What was my dear, and understanding husband's reply? "Don't worry, Mommy's moods will even out in another month." What the? My "mood". For crying out loud, this is kid number 7 and after all this time he still thinks this is nothing more than a grumpy spell?

Is there a man out there who "gets" morning sickness? Is there anyone for that matter? How is it every time I go to the OB/Gyn office, they lecture me about eating right. Now mind you prior to having morning sickness, I worked out an hour five days a week, I had no trouble gobbling meals of brown rice and steamed vegetables. Yet I go to the doctor's office, step on the scale and get a reproachful look from the nurse: "you gained 5 pounds". The doctor's reply is always the same, she writes out a scrip to send me to a nutritionist because I obviously need a crash course on the basics of the four food groups. I explain "I am so sick, and my mouth fills up with saliva and it is so gross. The only relief I get is when I eat and the only food I can stomach are cheeseburgers. And I cannot work-out because I only have so much energy. I tried, I walked two miles the other day and I couldn't keep my eyes open for the rest of the day like I was drugged." He/she looks at me and nods as if to say "Silly little Hispanic lady," (remember I have brown hair, therefore I am Hispanic) "we know how you love soda and Kool-Aid and are making excuses for your tons of bad lifestyle habits!"* , and hands me the dang scrip. Aaaaahhhhh!!!

Now tell me, am I alone? Am I the only one who has been in this doctor's office complaining of morning sickness? Am I the only person who finds relief in eating, and despite knowledge of the difference between a good diet and a bad one, can only choke down a few cheese fries? Am I the only one who gags while brushing their teeth to the point that when it is time, you pace in front of the bathroom to gear yourself up to finally brush? Also, if you don't you will be gagging because of the taste in your mouth. Or do you have to keep a mask on with some kind of fresh smell to keep from being overwhelmed by the smell of, well, everything? Am I the only one who gets up in the morning, has enough energy to put clothes on, and that's it. Energy supply spent.Then I sit at the dining room table with my head down hoping to get the energy to fold an item of clothing, or fix the next meal or something else I need to do. Is anyone else totally thirsty all the time, but water seems to burn going down?

Please someone tell me I am not alone because I feel like I am losing, my. freakin'. mind. I am like completely dysfunctional. Yes, I know this will pass and it always does, but it does not last for a day, it lasts like 10 weeks. Do you know what a house with four boys six kids looks like after ten weeks of a useless Mommy? Hint: it ain't pretty and I hope no one knocks on my door.

And the "expert advice": "eat saltines", "don't drink while eating", "don't lie down", "go exercise", "don't eat fried food", "don't eat vegetables". C'mon now, where is the advice for the real human beings? Admit it, ya'll don't know what ya'll be talking about, so you just had to write something on the subject to keep the 'expert" credentials.

I have been spending an inordinate amount of time on the computer lately because it has me sitting up in the living room (as opposed to lying on my bed) and at least looking at the kids like I am a responsible parent or something. Reading, sewing, all the relaxing hobbies I love and could be doing, make me nauseous.

Rant over, I think...Please if there are any commiserating Mommies reading this, let me know I am not alone.

*I have no idea if that is what the doctor is thinking, but when I am this miserable and the doctor is "hmmm"ing me about a subject they are supposed to know a thing or two about, all kinds of evil and crazy conclusions enter my mind.

Where to you store your great ideas? Do you tear out magazine articles and store them in a big binder? Do you jot down book recommendations and restaurants to try on Post-Its? Or do you just keep in all on file in your head?

Last week, I was perusing a fun paper arts store and admired a sample altered Rolodex file. I decided that I must make one of my own. I had to have one....

Mine is a place I can jot down ideas for everything from seasonal day trips and recipes to try to family traditons and scrapbook pages I want to make. I intend to fill it up with recommendations and all kinds of notes on things I want to do. And then we'll get out there and do them!

Yesterday my husband was working. He was doing a demolition job on an apartment building that had a fire in Saratoga. He was brining debris back and forth to a big industrial dumpster they had downstairs. During one of his trips, he said there was a little old Italian lady who asked "Do you mind if a throw a few things away in your dumpster? I have 40 years worth of junk in my apartment I am trying to get rid of."

"Sure no problem" and he went back upstairs to continue work.

His partner went to bring down garbage and came back up. He asked my husband "did you see the little old lady?"

"Yeah, I told she can throw a couple of things away."

"Yeah she told me. She said 'That Darkie said I could throw a few things away in your dumpster.' "

News flash: having the Olympics in Beijing really is turning out to be a bad idea. First there is the fact that they are um, Communist, then there's that disgusting One Child Policy complete with forced abortions, their disproportionate capital punishment rates, they eat cats and dogs. And guess what? They hate black people too. OK, I know the last one seems almost laughable compared to the other crimes against humanity, yet it seems like the one people might stand up and notice the most.

Seriously though, why do we do as much business as we do with them? This country is a like a delicious sundae of immoral joy. Every opportunity people try to give them to prove "hey China is not that disgusting, they say "yeah we are, watcha gonna do about it?"

Well nothing apparently. We just continue to support them economically.

This has got to be the best quote ever:

The roman catholic "relgion" is the whore that drank the blood of the true, bible believing saints, and is dressed in (scarlet) red and purple, and sits upon the 7 hills of rome.

You know it's funny, 15 years ago, after I had my first, I would have considered myself the go-to person for advice. I loved going to Mom's groups and talking shop, being able to share my tidbits of information that I have learned with other new Moms in exchange for their pieces of knowledge describing things like how to get a shower each day. We would commiserate over the prospects of never seeing a movie again or what to do with a toddler in a restaurant (of course you pack a cooler full of healthy finger-foods and you walk around with them instead of sitting any enjoying your meal). Or we would offer opinions about the latest study that suggested you should never put footwear on a pre-walking baby, even in winter else you stunt their development due to sensory deprivation. Or how tofu was one of the best first finger foods to give. Ohmygosh, I don't think I could have stood to be around me. I can't imagine sitting around talking boring baby/toddler crap for more than 5 minutes, let alone picking up another issue Parenting Magazine to find out what I might have missed. You know, the rules are so simple: don't give them raw meat (especially before they get teeth), get some vegetables into them, keep them clean, try to deter them from eating dirt and garbage and I don't know, hug them as much as possible (seriously, that's the most important).

In retrospect, I get it. Changing from not having children to having children is huge. People have no idea until they each do it themselves. Your life is totally turned upside-down and inside-out. With your first, if you were a person who dressed nicely and wore earrings, now you wear sweats because you never leave the house, are covered in spit up and earrings are gone because the baby pulls on them. Who knew? So it makes sense to think you learned a thing or two by undergoing this complete transformation.

Here's the weird part: while I would have stepped forward with advice on how to get baby to sleep 14 years ago, today and 6 or 7 (I lost count) kids later, I'd be the first to admit I don't know what the heck I'm doing. After 14 years of reading ,Dr. Sears, Dr. Brazelton, Dr. Mendelsohn, and Dr. Spock; subscriptions to Parents, Child, and Parenting Magazines (the last I have not renewed a subscription to in 6 years, yet I keep getting it with "This is your last issue" notices), you think I would have picked something up. (With the periodicals, the same advice gets recycled over and over again, much of it contradictory One month it will be "Well Baby Visits: Are They Necessary" and an article condemning parents who miss them as neglectful and 4 months later it will be "Well Baby Visits: How Necessary Are They?" stating that being late for one or two when a child is obviously healthy is not going to hurt anyone. 8 months later, it's back to the original "a child's life depends on well baby visits" article.) Seriously, of course I have, but every new child has both given me confidence and thrown my confidence for a loop. Every child is so different and some of the experience you gained from child #2, you might as well ball it up and throw it out because you will never need what you learned there again.

So here I am with pregnancy number 7 wondering if anyone would like to offer their 2 cents on how to survive morning sickness. People are probably thinking "Hey Lady, if you don't know, who does?", but I don't think I have ever been this sick and dysfunctional before. Maybe I have been, and was so grateful when it was over that I never looked back. But this is hard! i have so much crap to do and I can only get one or two things out of twenty done before my body shuts down. I try hard to one more task, and I am paying for it big time with ten times the nausea. But for example, I have never been this sick with 6 kids, 3 of which eat adult value meals at McDonald's and gas nearly $5 a gallon, therefore making blowing off cooking supper for one a financial impossibility. So you see, the rules are constantly changing.

And my kids, ohmygosh, what annoying little buggers! It never occurred to me how much I have to keep on their little behinds (and how much physical energy that exerted) to do their chores. Now I haven't got the energy to do anything more than "Posco, clean the kitty litter, Posco, clean the kitty litter..." and of course that isn't enough to ensure it gets done. And requesting for help beyond their regular chore roster only incites yelling at the younger one under them for doing nothing to help...yet nothing still gets done. One rule is no video games during the day, no TV until chores are done (during the school year, no games during the week period and TV for evening shows). Every time I turn around, these buggers are turning on games and the fight starts "No games until... (insert what needs to be done)" which elicits one of two responses: "Oh, ok, I didn't know" or "Why not? That's not fair!" Yet, after I yell a few times they win out because I am too queasy to keep yelling, I have a constant migraine, and my thoughts are constantly occupied with finding new ways of breathing without smelling anything in the world.

So any advice on dealing with morning sickness, tying up kids, getting boosts of energy with pregnancy fatigue, bending the wills of little people to do your bidding (mwoo ha ha ha), telling teenagers to just get dressed already, keeping a house running clean and smooth when you can't get up and do anything, would be most appreciated.

Seriously though, what is up with that generation?

Update:More great stuff!

As a woman "of color", I have to agree with Elisabeth Hasselback 100%. If a word is insulting, it is insulting across the board. However, I have never been a fan of black people using the "n" word simply because we "can". It is low class. Many people, both black and white have fought hard to come to this point where we are that if you are white and you use the 'n' word, you reveal yourself to be a complete ass, as opposed to someone with simply a different perspective.

Whoopi makes the point that Elisabeth just doesn't "get it" because she has never been black and doesn't get I guess "the Black experience" (hello 1969). I am actually sure this is true, However, I doubt Whoopi knows what it is like to be on Survivor, or to grow up Italian American, or whatever. Not understanding what people go through is not a ticket to allowing bad behavior. In some cases it can lead to an understanding of bad behavior, but that is very different than excusing it. Anyhow, I have hard time hearing about "what we go through" from Whoopi Goldberg, I doubt with her fame and money she struggles much because she's black. But then again, I have never walked in her shoes either.

Lastly, racial issues aside, I don't get fighting to become ghetto. I hate this trend in our country to raise people to be foul-mouthed and have no manners. I mean this is a show of women for women. Why is being ladylike such a crime these days? We should be fighting harder to get a Thesaurus into their hands so they can express themselves without four-letter words.

"Coincidences are spiritual puns."

-- G.K. Chesterton

(via the Ironic Catholic)

Gorbulas just started going into the bathroom, but before he decided to shut the door, he poked his little head out and said "Mommy! I didn't know presidents can have kids!"

"Um, why yes, they can and many do."

"Yeah! I didn't know that!"

Retreats back into the bathroom.

Dawn Eden links to this wonderful article from America Magazine about a woman's intellectual journey from being a pro-choice atheist to a pro-life Catholic. I recommend it, it is an enjoyable read.

Some of the comments made me chuckle. Take for example comment #73 by Tricia Harrigan:

73. OK, abortion is killing a baby; agreed. Not to be
done. But contraception? why is that wrong? Must
one have a baby a year? We were well on that
path, when our third child was born before our
eldest was three years old. We tried the rhythm
method and almost lost our marriage. The scars
remain. Our fourth child was born by choice, and
then I took the pill, which had just become
available. This was the time of Vatican II; we had
great hopes that the church would listen to the
faithful and come to a less 'all or nothing'
approach to marriage; a commission was appointed to
study marriage and eminent Catholic leaders like
the Crowleys from Chicago were on it. But when the
group presented its conclusions, they were the
wrong ones, i.e. they did not echo the church's
position, so they were dismissed. What after all
did married people know? So we don't listen to
celibates on the subject of marriage! A
grandmother of 10, married 50 years.
By Tricia Harrigan on July 6, 2008 at 6:11 PM

I don't know where to begin. This sounds so Diocese of Albany and so that 60's generation. This is the generation whose philosophy is closing Churches left and right and watering down the faith.

I suppose I could go on about the abuses of folk music Masses, and stupid "cool" homilies about Bravo TV shows etc. etc, but I will stick to the topic at hand. I don't understand this woman's philosphy. I don't understand my parents or my grandmother or my in-laws. I don't get being Catholic except in regard to the birth control issue.I totally get how having another child when you are not planning on it is a struggle. But it seems like every time you make a choice to do something right, the immediate consequences seem very difficult compared to the alternative. However, the long term good makes life better.

I don't get fighting the Church on this issue. It makes no sense to me to say "I am certainly Catholic and I agree in the Church's wisdom on everything...except this. This is just dumb." Do they think the Church is being cute and sentimental but doesn't really mean it on this issue? I used to think they thought they were championing some cause or helping people by saying "you must go on birth control" but all that has happened is the opposite: it has turned people who desire to follow Church teachings and have more than 2 children into a pariah.

People always fall back on the economical reasoning-people should not have too many children that they cannot afford. That sounds logical and makes sense, but I think the philosophy behind this thinking has more to do simply with selfishness. Somewhere in this generation, or the one before, selfishness became a virtue. I cannot tell you how many times I hear people of that generation say things like "I enjoy my things", "this belongs to me", "I need my time", "I deserve This". It's like a mantra, and they are used as excuses for reasons why they do not have to come visit their grandchildren on special occasions, or help with families or whatever, as well as simple random declarations of their life mission statements. It baffles me why people are not embarrassed to make such proclamations. If I was simply too tired to attend an important event, I would at least make an excuse. My mother-in-law just two days ago told us we are not worthy to make the 3 hour trip to visit. She has better things to do. For the life of me, I cannot understand how this is fulfilling. I don't think it is. One of my girlfriend's mother used to tell her constantly she should have been aborted. Growing up, everyone but her mother took care of my friend, her grandparents, neighbors, after-school programs.The woman dated, partied, finished school and obtained many graduate degrees, and acted in shows. Now that she is grown and her mother is in her fifties, her mother announced to her that her daughter "stole her youth away". I wish I could say this is so weird and was just her, but it is not. Maybe to this extent yes. Not sure, my husband was a "we should have aborted you" child yet his parents invested no time or effort into raising him. They claim all the time they did, the sacrificed so much. It is OK to say that because it "would have been the right thing for me".

I am so glad to have many Catholic friends in my generation, who in the very least, abandoned folk music Masses. If I had to sit around with my friends and talk about how great that generation was because of Woodstock and liberation theology, I would lock myself in my closet and never come out.

5 weeks ago it was just this:

I have to write about it. You know how you read "do this for good health, and do that?" and you go ahead and do it, but you never know if you are really making yourself healthier. I mean the obvious results would be weight loss, and I seem to have been plateauing since forever. I suppose I could stop eating and take up smoking and that would look better, but not be healthier. Well I had a check-up last week and the doctor ordered a full blood work-up. He was concerned about some issues due to family history.

I got my blood work back and I am healthy Deo Gratias. But my cholesterol levels, my HDL
(good cholesterol) was 92, my LDL (bad cholesterol) was in the 30's and my triglycerides were in the 60's. My doctor said this was one of the best cholesterol panel he has ever seen and (this is the part Rosey Posey refuses to believe) that he can tell I eat lots of vegetables and exercises a great deal. Rosey Posey said I must be lying and eating vegetables can't possibly good for you (she doesn't like vegetables).

Anyway, this is a stupid small victory. I haven't had many of them lately and I am overdo methinks.

I know these are rumors that may or may not have truth. People talk about what's on their minds, and everything is like the game of telephone. Who knows? But the latest buzz is milk is going up to $5 a gallon (but of course this is from my family in the Westchester/NYC area, so perhaps that is not so far fetched as it's like $4 something a gallon there now) and by next summer gas will be $7 a gallon.

Wow, I mean why bother even trying to survive anymore. Or maybe I can be creative with my budget to eliminate traveling (I'll tell my husband to quit working tomorrow) and eating. Ha ha, food, that silly luxury. Didn't many of the saints fast indefinitely? Then we should be straight.

OK, sorry for the sarcasm. I felt I had to do that.

In the comboxes below, DRF comments:

What about the women and girls who are forced to continue pregnancies that they do not want? What about the women and girls who are subject to violence just for getting pregnant in the first place? Murder is already illegal. Doctors having sex with their patients is already punishable. Holding a gun to your daughter's head is already a crime. Recriminalizing a necessary medical procedure is not the way to solve these problems.

Welcome DRF, thanks for stopping by. You make some valid points.

The focus of the site is not about making abortion illegal.The focus of this site is to show how what was supposed to be a women's right has become more of another method to control and abuse women. While I am pretty sure it attracts and is most likely written by (although I really am just speculating, I don't want to make that assumption) many pro-lifers who believe abortion is murder, the message here is about the fact that many women are being coerced psychologically and even violently into aborting against their will. If you are pro-life or pro-choice, coercing women into abortion is unacceptable. Am I correct in believing that pro-choice means just that, it is a women's choice what to do, and that choice should not be limited to abortion OR if she decides on abortion, she should feel it is totally her decision?

Many of the examples given are of the violent aspect of coercion into abortion, and may seem extreme, but as Peony blogged about before, homicide is becoming the leading cause of death of pregnant women. She also linked toto this WaPo article about this scary trend. It is a slippery slope, once one type of abuse becomes common, people become desensitized, and what you see is a step worse the next time around. Murder aside, I can say that many of the women I know who had abortions had people around them pressing hard on them to have abortions. I know a few women who opted not to abort, such as myself, who had tons of pressure to abort, but for some reason they held fast to their decisions, perhaps realizing the people who were pressuring them were not going to be around to pick up the pieces.

The abortion issue is a complex one, and there are many areas we can agree on and contribute equally to. Helping pregnant women in need doesn't have to be "anti-choice"; acknowledging and helping women through Post Abortive Stress Syndrome should not to be limited to pro-lifers (nor does pretending it doesn't exist further the choice cause, and in the case discussed here, women should not be forced into abortion.

As a matter of fact, the site states:

Compassionate Americans on all sides will want to know ... about these injustices and risks to women. People on all sides are ready to open the door to healing after decades of:
* Unwanted abortions,
* Coercion or even force from all sides,
* Deceptive or negligent counseling and medical practices,
* Coercive, often systemic negligence,
* Risk to teens, including coercion, sexual molestation, and injury
* Risks to all women, ranging from pregnancy-related discrimination and coercion to health risks and post-abortion trauma and death
* Domestic violence toward pregnant women, which can lead to homicide, the leading killer of pregnant women
* Post-abortion issues, including:
* grief
* trauma
* physical injury, including infertility
* 6-7 x higher suicide rates
* 3.5x higher risk of death in abortion's aftermath (3)

...Of my ten children, a few I can raise by clearing my throat (Angel and Earnest). A few I need to carry a bazooka just to remind them who's in charge (Butkus and Conan). Most are somewhere in between. But I don't consider any of the ten unconquerably strong-willed.

How can this be? Simple. Their mother is stronger-willed. So even when they are at their relentless worst, ultimately she will prevail. And God willing, their intense personality will over years be channeled and tempered into a force for good. Tough little people, when socialized, make for strong big people.

~Dr. Ray Guarendi, from his book Discipline That Lasts A Lifetime

My neighbor, "Gathie" was 17 years old and was pregnant. She delivered a baby via c-section, and when the nurses got her up to walk, she died instantly of a blood clot in her heart. Or that is the story in the neighborhood.

The baby survived.

This is a sad story. Her younger siblings were my children's playmates and they said when Gathie was a baby, she had heart problems which she survived...to die so tragically.

Interesting, but sad, website.

Coercion is significant. It comes "from all sides." It can escalate to violence, even homicide –– the #1 killer of pregnant women.
* A husband jumped on his wife’s stomach to force an abortion ...
* A mother forced her daughter at gunpoint to go to the abortion clinic
* Outside a parking ramp, a mother was forcibly injected by a physician –- the baby’s father – with an abortifacient drug ...
* Discrimination against pregnant employees or renters
* Violence against pregnant mothers
* Homicide is the leading killer or pregnant women.
* Learn more by downloading Forced Abortion in America,
which includes the single-page Forced Abortion fact sheet

HT: Ashli