Pansy: March 2003 Archives

An interesting article about the

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An interesting article about the younger generations leaning towards more of an Pro-Life attitude.
Thank you to HMS Blog for the link. Greg Popcak states:

"The people I associate with in town are pro-choice, so I'm troubled — where do these kids come from?"  MORE

I'll tell you where these kids come from.  Watching their parents kill off two generations of their bothers, sisters, and peers and the cavalier, Velvet Culture of Death (to paraphrase my reader below) that has developed as a result.


Ain't that the truth!

Right near my house! Pro-life

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Right near my house!
Pro-life Guy talks about the Feminist for Life Billboards. We have passed them a few times and I have been very impressed. I was a member of FFL years ago (not active because their events were always very far away), now I want become a member again.

One billboard has a picture of Patricia Heaton and states :

"Women deserve better than abortion."

The other says something like:
"Abortion has two victims, one dead. One wounded."

I cannot remember the exact phrasing.
What is so funny, is here I am in the far reaches of Albany, and I have asked a bunch of my fellow Catholics in real life "Have you seen those neat FFL billboards?" and everyone says "no", "uh uh", "no, what do they say?" "nope, haven't seen 'em". I start reading around St. Blog's and they are mentioned. Too funny.

Mass picnic baskets I agree

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Mass picnic baskets
I agree with your blog about cry rooms. I will add one more criticism, they always reek of old cheerios. I never understand why people feel the need to feed kids during Mass. Especially when we are supposed to fast before receiving Communion."Look, it's Jesus up there on the Altar-have a Pop Tart." I don't know.

I'm not laughing I

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I'm not laughing
I can hear people outside scraping snow and ice off their cars. In all fairness, we do usually get a last snow storm in April, but it is so weird how that occurs after some nice jacket-wearing and going-out-for-ice-cream weather. I guess "fairness" really hasn't got much to do with it.

Birthday Celebration Rosey-Posey had a

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Birthday Celebration
Rosey-Posey had a really great time at her roller skating party. At least that was the impression I got when she kept coming up to me, putting her hands together and saying "Oh Mommy, this is the best party ever! Thank you sooo so much for this wonderful birthday!" (And yes, she does talk like that, in hyperbole, all the time.)

Many of the children were first time roller skaters, they fell a lot, but seemed to have heaps good fun. My three year old was hysterical, roller skates in all directions. God bless him, he fell a gazillion times but refused to give up trying the four hours we were there.

Rosey-Posey got some pretty cool gifts also. A Princess Bride Barbie, What's Her Face doll, a craft set, a beautiful version of The Little Mermaid and Anne of the Green Gables, and to top it all off a Fuschia Gameboy Advance.

The Gameboy is really cool because it hooks up to the Gamecube and you can play Zelda or Metroid Prime on it. I think Nintendo should give us stock or something. There is not a room in our house which is not Nintend-ensified. I even have an IZEK Singer sewing machine which hooks up to a Gameboy Color to program the stitches. Even though I am telling you all this, I am not sure this is something to be proud of...

Also, the cake was awesome. I was very sad because Peony does not live close by, and could not do one of her awesome custom made cakes for us. But if we had to have second runner up, the cake we got was really lovely. It was from a local bakery called Vanilla Bean, and they decorated it-let me just say when we took it out, everyone gasped and commented how beautiful it was.

It was really a fun day overall. I thank God for blessing us with such nice times.

I made waffles for breakfast

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I made waffles for breakfast this morning.
That is the usual Saturday protocol. I topped it with Vermont Maid brand syrup: "The taste New England loves." distributed by B & G, Roseland, NJ.

"Tee hee, Thank You." That

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"Tee hee, Thank You."
That is what my daughter said when she saw your "Happy Birthday."
I cannot believe she is 10. I remember when she was born like it was yesterday. It was at the Familyborn Birth Center (which is no longer there). She was born at 9.20 PM and was 8 pounds, 1 ounce, 20 inches and 4 weeks early. It seemed like she was a baby forever, and now she's 10. I know what people mean when they say "she will always be my baby." Gosh, I guess it's official, I'm old.

Today we are having a party for her at a local roller rink with some of her homeschooling friends. There will be cake and pizza.

I haven't been to a roller rink in years-I think since the 80's. Man I just keep getting older. I am going to stop writing this blog while I'm still ahead.

I do not know if

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I do not know if you have been reading Ashli, but she's on fire this week...

My brother is very upset

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My brother is very upset
He is a freshman at University of Buffalo. His first choice was Steubanville because of the Catholic environment, but his major is Aerospace Engineering and Mechanical Engineering, so everyone figured UB was a better choice.

So to counteract being a Catholic at a non-Catholic school he started hanging out at his school's Newman Center .

He was upset because they brought in guest speakers from Call to Action on Wednesday. He said he was upset for the obvious reasons, but I think one of the things that is upsetting about a situation like this is the heterodox faction has no tolerance for those of us who really just want to go to places labeled "Catholic" and just be Catholic. They just know that all of us feel "imprisoned" by the medieval Church and are waiting for someone to ordain a woman somewhere to "empower" us. And they certainly do not realise that when we go to a place to worship, or to "fellowship" among other Catholics, that we feel betrayed when they use places of comfort to further their own agendas.

One of the things I

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One of the things I like about St.Blog's is reading how people really love their families.
In real life, people are always complaining about their families and trying to get away from them. The men go out for beers after work, the couples go away to get away from the kids, the wives go to Ladies Night to get away from the husbands and kids...It is refreshing to read people saying nice and loving things about their families.

Victor has the sweetest blog about taking his son to the park which got this hormonally imbalanced breastfeeding Mommy all emotional and "aww"-ified.

And another thing: when I check in on 'Xander as he's taking his after-park nap I like to imagine him dreaming about the trips down the slide with Daddy and I hope that those dreams make him happy.

"...I think that what we

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"...I think that what we are seeing over all is a reflection of a culture that does not truly value women as women."

No, society does not value women as women. Why would women in order to feel self-worth need to neuter themselves with birth control, instead of finding self-worth in what women do naturally? Why has child bearing become such a plague that 40 million mothers have killed their own children in their wombs? Why do we applaud Jennifer Lopez in her scantily clad shower curtain looking attrocities and hail her as "sexy" and "daring", yet are quick to judge a feminine covered woman as "dowdy"? Why are so many women cohabitating, allowing men to treat them as sex objects only, and why are so many men these days treating them as such? And of course, the question on everyone's minds today is why are women on the front lines?

It seems to me we have lost such a sense of what a beautiful thing it is to be a woman. God loved women so much that He entrusted one to become His Mother. We should be embracing Her Example, yet we throw it out first chance we get.

Diogenes at CWN blog states:If

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Diogenes at CWN blog states:

If you enjoy Catholic rituals, but not Catholic teachings, you might find the American Catholic Church attractive. There's an actual organization by that name-- distinct (oh, yes; very distinct) from the Catholic Church founded on the Apostles.

Yes, there is, and they are literally around the corner from me!.

Non-GranolaCon Mommying My husband was

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Non-GranolaCon Mommying
My husband was all excited yesterday because he came home with his copy of Zelda: Windwakers. He and the kids all gathered around the GameCube like they were unveiling some type of jewel. They were clinging on to his every word as he told the children how he got to deliver the games to Electronics Boutique and when he requested his copy, the sales person knew his name on sight. Um, wow.

I have also been feeding the kids Farm Rich Frozen French Toast Sticks for breakfast because well, they eat them. I hope I do not have to return my Official GranolaCon Card. I have never seen them get so happy about breakfast before. Gorbulas finishes his last bite instead of throwing the food on the floor. My mother used to say "the corn chip they eat is better for them than the carrot stick they throw away."

I haven't blogged about the

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I haven't blogged about the war
on purpose. Many people at St. Blogs have much more educated and thought out blogs than I could ever write on current events. However, what has been happening has been filling my thoughts and prayers. I have been watching the news in order to feel "connected" somehow. Like if I know what is happening to our troops, the significance of what is going on over there and what they and their families are sacrificing will not be lost on me-I hope.

I am also very confused because I was not exactly "pro-war" before the war and placed much merit in the Holy Father's plea for peace (I still do). However, now that we are there, I do not think the reasons for us being there are unfounded. This is the first time I have disagreed with the Holy Father on anything. Actually, it's not that I disagree with the Holy Father, but I also agree with the President. And, the president's reasoning is more obvious to me. I feel like a very bad Catholic...

Peony, I second your "uggggggh"

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Peony, I second your "uggggggh"

Today was not a great day. I am soooo sleepy. Gorbulas had a nursing marathon from midnight to 4 am. I have been fighting sleep all day. Then Fastolph dumped liquid hand soap on my bathroom floor. I had to wait until the baby fell asleep to clean it up. As soon as it was clean, he woke up-so no naps for Pansy.

On a funny note, my mother read your blog and said we should switch places for one day. I get Hambet, and you, er, get Rosey Posey, Posco, Fastolph and Gorbulas. I told her that doesn't seem quite so fair to you, but hey, I'm a taker!

Jeanetta of De Fidei Oboedientia

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Jeanetta of De Fidei Oboedientia mentions my parish. If ever you happen to find yourself in the vast spiritual wasteland that is the Diocese of Albany, St. Peter's (link left) is a wonderful little oasis.

Oops Rereading my blog below,

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Oops

Rereading my blog below, I noticed a great deal of grammatical errors. I did proof read it, but they seemed to have escaped me. Instead of fixing them, I am using it as an example. I almost did not finish it because I was interrupted numerous times and lost my train of thought. Sooo when you read a Pansy Blog that sounds basically like my brain fell out of my ear, it did. It is a side effect of motherhood.

Two Families Yesterday we went

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Two Families

Yesterday we went to two birthday parties.

The first one we went to was of a homeschooling family. They are a family of nine in Sechenectady that are fellow parishioners. It is always neat to not only to have like minded Catholic people around, but like minded AP type people around. The mother asked where I got my sling, and I told her I was only able to find it on the Internet. I am never able to find baby products I really use in real life baby stores. "Yeah, practical stuff" she remarked. While my husband likes them, I think he felt a bit uncomfortable because each homeschooling family we know is at least 10 years then us.

Afterwards, we went to a birthday party of one of my husband's co-worker's sons. We actually did not know it was a birthday party, we just thought we were stopping by for a visit. This couple is a very nice couple, and I think my husband likes having another young, married couple around. They seem like they would give us the shirt off their back. I felt funny though because I had to guard everything I said because they are typical-pro-contraception, day care parents. At one point we were sitting at the kitchen table chit chatting and there was a pen on the table that said New York Family Planning Pro-Woman, Pro-Family, Pro-Choice. I almost screamed. I do not like being in situations where I may have to hold my pro-life tongue. Being pro-life is not merely a stand on an issue I take, it is who I am.

Of course the issue of "are you done?" came up. My husband's coworker asked "do you want more kids because your husband says he wants more, but I was wondering about you". I said "of course I want more". I am kicking myself because of the missed opportunity of evangelisation, but I really get choked up at the subject. I never know how to talk about the subject because it is personal. That and of you get me started, I will go into a sililoquoy into Natural Law, the Vocation of Marriage blah, blah, blah. The hostess then said she always wanted more children, but her husband (who was right there) told her absolutely no more. Another guest remarked that kids are too expensive. He just finished two conversations about the new pool he was getting and a new custom made Trailblazer. Things that make you go "eeww".

I know this may sound like a "Holier than thou" blog, like "can you imagine, see how these people think"! That is not my point. It is so frustrating that it is hard to meet other couples socially and while they are nice people, I cannot be around them too much because of the disagreement about what I think is right. Especially if they are pro-choice...I feel like I live in a bubble.

Alicia links to us and

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Alicia links to us and offers some good comments on the current discussion!

Peony, your blog had me

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Peony, your blog had me thinking (uh oh-is that a good thing?)

Did the social changes of the sixties help get us into this pickle? The radical feminists told us that women were oppressed by staying home. Women entered the labor market in huge numbers, and that surely must have driven down wages for everyone.

It is taking more and more secondary education for people to basically keep their heads above water these days. I wonder if that has to do with the competition of women as well as men for the same jobs. Sadly, I think it is unrealistic to expect everyone to wait until they are like 28 to enter a vocation of marriage, but it seems that must be done to earn a decent living in many parts of the country.

The other thing is if you have a man with a family or a woman who would be bringing in a second income competing for the same job, is it more moral to give the job to the man? I personally say "yes" but discrimination laws (which are needed) would say "no". I think laws aside, I wonder if there was a time when there were more SAHMs it was understood that a husband supporting a family would need the job more...

Now what? Why is it

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Now what?

Why is it I cannot see the comments on IE, but only on Netscape. I'm so confused...

somethings that do not make

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somethings that do not make sense

like why Dr. Ruth is on PBS's Kids Read Between the Lions...

last night's Pastoral Planning meeting

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last night's Pastoral Planning meeting

I blogged before (cannot find the archive) about a series of meetings my diocese is having to make changes because of the priest shortage. Our last meeting was snowed out, so it was postponed until last night.


The Bishop talked a lot about doing things in the "vision of Vatican II". For example, we need to train "Leaders". We need to accept change. There are many parishes across the country where people attend what they refer to as "Father's Mass, Sister's Mass, Deacon's Mass". I am not a theologian, but this so does not sound like The Dogmatic Constitution of the Church-Lumen Gentium-in other words, not very in keeping with the "vision of Vatican II".


When they opened the floor for discussion, many stated that there must be more done in the way of encouraging vocations, and the Bishop's answer to that was families do not hold becoming a priest in esteem anymore (the shortened version). To that I raised my hand and tried to say that as a mother, I see very little on a parish level to encouraging families to form children that would embrace vocations. Of course I choked on my words, especially when they asked me to repeat what I said to speak into a microphone. Ack.


I sounded something like:

"Um, I just wanted to say at my old parish, there was, um, er, very little in the way to encourage, well, families to want their children to go into vocations. I mean people just go to Church and leave and that's it. I, um, wish, um, there was more to offer on a parish level to help families encourage vocations.I am one of the only people I know who would love to have a son as a priest. Anyway, I just, um, well I do not know when I, er, would have the chance to say that again." And I quickly sank back down in my seat.


Sigh, blogging is so therapuetic...

another reality check A reader

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another reality check

A reader writes in the comment box below:

Sigh...in this day and age, Pansy, some parents really and honestly do need two paychecks. We do. We don't like it, but we do.
Yes, it is is true, everyone's situation is different, and there are always situations and times when things must be done to make ends meet.

Still, when you are home during the day, and when you walk around, it is rare to meet up with other SAHM's around. Many people in my personal experience before they ever consider sitting down and calculating "well, if we cut out the cell phone, get rid of one car, cook this from scratch" (just to make random examples) will put the kids in daycare and go off to work. Being a SAHM is not a vocation held in esteem, or considered a "real job", so it is often overlooked as a realistic option for mothers today. Also, there is not a big differentiation of "needs" and "wants" in American culture, and many people will abandon children for "wants" without realising God provides a great deal for "needs".

I apologise if I insulted anyone, and yes, feeding your family comes before staying home. But I still manitain, most families do not value staying home Moms. When I worked at a daycare, they charged $1200 a month per child. At that price, someone could afford to stay home. My point was not to condemn families who are doing what they can to survive, but our country's cultural philosophy that it is utterly unrealistic for families to survive on one paycheck.

one paycheck Peony blogged below:

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one paycheck

Peony blogged below:

If our society were healthier, it would be easier for more families to make it on one paycheck (or one-and-a-half paychecks) so that moms and dads could keep their households running without killing themselves.

Personally I think there is a huge myth that people need two paychecks. Many people who have small children and two working parents, the income goes out the window because of daycare, transportation, work attire, quick
foods, etc. Money cannot purchase time lost that should be spent with the family and on the home.

Pope Leo XIII in Rerum Novarum states:
13. That right to property, therefore, which has been proved to belong naturally to individual persons, must in like wise belong to a man in his capacity of head of a family; nay, that right is all the stronger in proportion as the human person receives a wider extension in the family group. It is a most sacred law of nature that a father should provide food and all necessaries for those whom he has begotten; and, similarly, it is natural that he should wish that his children, who carry on, so to speak, and continue his personality, should be by him provided with all that is needful to enable them to keep themselves decently from want and misery amid the uncertainties of this mortal life. Now, in no other way can a father effect this except by the ownership of productive property, which he can transmit to his children by inheritance. A family, no less than a State, is, as We have said, a true society, governed by an authority peculiar to itself, that is to say, by the authority of the father.

36...Now, it is to the interest of the community, as well as of the individual, that peace and good order should be maintained; that all things should be carried on in accordance with God's laws and those of nature; that the discipline of family life should be observed and that religion should be obeyed; that a high standard of morality should prevail, both in public and private life; that justice should be held sacred and that no one should injure another with impunity; that the members of the commonwealth should grow up to man's estate strong and robust, and capable, if need be, of guarding and defending their country. If by a strike of workers or concerted interruption of work there should be imminent danger of disturbance to the public peace; or if circumstances were such as that among the working class the ties of family life were relaxed; if religion were found to suffer through the workers not having time and opportunity afforded them to practice its duties; if in workshops and factories there were danger to morals through the mixing of the sexes or from other harmful occasions of evil; or if employers laid burdens upon their workmen which were unjust, or degraded them with conditions repugnant to their dignity as human beings; finally, if health were endangered by excessive labor, or by work unsuited to sex or age-in such cases, there can be no question but that, within certain limits, it would be right to invoke the aid and authority of the law.

46. If a workman's wages be sufficient to enable him comfortably to support himself, his wife, and his children, he will find it easy, if he be a sensible man, to practice thrift, and he will not fail, by cutting down expenses, to put by some little savings and thus secure a modest source of income. Nature itself would urge him to this...

Ain't That the Truth Catholic's

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Ain't That the Truth

Catholic's Exchange's Article on Lent described the sentiment precisely:

The weather in Lent is always chilly and dismal: late, unwelcome, quickly dirtied, I'm-so-sick-of-snow if you live on the East Coast,...

Easter always marked a welcome change in season, both physically and spiritually for me.

SAHM Stuff As I was

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SAHM Stuff

As I was mopping the kitchen floor, grumbling about having to clean up a spill in the fridge (more fridge stuff), trying to teach one child and encourage another to finish breakfast, I started to chuckle to myself about a myth that non-SAHM People have about SAHMs-that we have unlimited amounts of time to do whatever we wish.

I personally find there is never enough time during the day. Of course there would be more if I abandoned blogging, but that will be our secret.

Before we decided to homeschool, we had Rosey Posey in a preschool a few mornings at our local parish (see St. Mary's). A number of working mothers tried to hire me to watch their children after school. Ha! Like I had the time! When my mother was a SAHM with my brothers, she said she used to get the same offers all the time. Of course now that I do not see other Moms while picking up kids at school, I am not asked anymore (thank goodness). Some would not take a simple "no" for an answer. One tried to say "well don't you need the extra money?"

Will Everyone Please Get Better?

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Will Everyone Please Get Better?

My husband is home sick with the nasty high fever-chills, cold symptom, stomach ache thing now. The kids have been fever free for a few days now, but still have no appetite and tire very easily. I also checked the baby's ears and the Ear Check indicates he has an ear infection. I put some Willow Garlic Ear Oil in his ears for now.

I am so hoping I do not get sick because Mom's do not have the luxury of being sick in bed, and this thing looks like one needs quite a few days of rest to recover.

Oh Poor Peony I can

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Oh Poor Peony

I can relate to not wanting to have people come over in that situation. Gorbulas is clingy and whiney also because he is getting over an illness (poor baby). I cannot get anything done. The Creative Memories lady is supposed to come over to deliver an order. I told her I will leave her check in the mailbox and she can leave the order in the foyer.

It is so beautiful out today and everyone is sick. The worst of the illness is over (high fevers) but they are not well-falling asleep, not eating, etc. I feel so bad for them.

Yippee! It is finally warm

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Yippee!

It is finally warm enough for my weather pixie to change clothes!!!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day! St.

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Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

St. Patrick of Ireland is one of the world's most popular saints.
Apostle of Ireland, born at Kilpatrick, near Dumbarton, in Scotland, in the year 387; died at Saul, Downpatrick, Ireland, 17 March, 461.
more...

Everytime I read the Saint Patrick story, the "where he was from" part changes. I was taught as a child that he was born in Northern Africa, in an area that was owned by Italy. It makes sense that this was version that stuck with me being mostly black and Italian. I guess no one really knows for sure...

Today I am making corned beef and cabbage and potato rolls, and maybe some Irish Soda Bread if I have time between sick kids...I like being "festive".

The Winter 2003 issue

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The Winter 2003 issue of The Latin Mass Magazine has an artilce called Seeking Bad Advice about the effects of feminism in the American Church by Donna Steichan (author of Ungodly Rage:The Hidden Face of Catholic Feminism and Prodigal Daughters: Catholic Women Come Home to the Church).

I personally thought the article was excellent, but the point of my blog is not to write a critique of it, but to share a couple of paragraphs out of context from the article that hit home:

Exhortations to sexual morality and modesty in dress have been as uncommon as minuets at a rap concert, and sermons condemning contraception so rare that many Catholics have never heard one. Indeed, many Catholics are unaware that the Church holds contraception to be sinful. Planned Parenthood apparatchiks paint Catholic as pro-life political boiler rooms, but the truth is that sermons on the immorality of abortion are seldom of ever preached there, nor are Catholic politicians who vote for abortion ever condemned.

However well intentioned worshippers in such congregations may be, it is hard for the to love and serve God as faithfully as He deserves when they know so little about Him and His law. What they know best are the transient values of secularb relativism, the very values to which fallen human nature is most readily susceptible.

Sums up a lot for me...

More on My Spirited Child

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More on My Spirited Child

My husband commented about he sees more of Fastolph's personality coming out and how he is much more conversational as of late. Most of the conversations are about Fastolph telling us "I'm big now! I'm big!"

Catholic Exchange has a good

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Catholic Exchange has a good review of Cody Banks.

We are always trying to look for family-friendly movies to see, and from the previews, this movie seemed "off" to me. I personally enjoy movies that I am not uncomfortable watching with my children much better.

Pansy's Friday Five 1. Do

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Pansy's Friday Five

1. Do you like talking on the phone? Why or why not? Yes, because I get lonely for adult conversation since I am a SAHM. But only if it is with a like-minded friend. I do not like wasting time talking on the phone talking about nonsense or arguing.

2. Who is the last person you talked to on the phone? Husband.

3. About how many telephones do you have at home? Two.

4. Have you encountered anyone who has really bad phone manners? What happened? Can you say telemarketers? They call at dinner time asking me for an hour about my favourite alcoholic beverage, what movie I saw or the brand yogurt I eat. I have literally said "I have to go, my dinner is on the table!" and they will not get off. Now I screen my calls with an answering machine.

5. Would you rather pick up the phone and call someone or write them an e-mail or a letter? Why or why not? Email. As rude as this sounds, sometimes I am not in the mood for small talk, especially when I just want to get a point across. This is more so since I had children, again not really having chit chat phone time. Also, if the person is not home, they will get an email eventually.

Funny thing is most people I know are afraid of the computer or something.

Since we have been on

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Since we have been on the topic of names

I think some of my fellow parishioners at St. Blogs have the coolest names, like out of an elegant novel.
Ellyn Von Huben, Elinor Dashwood, Eve Tushnet
I always thought my name was kind of, well not so neat sounding growing up, but maybe Ellyn, Elinor and Eve thought that way about their names?

Alicia from Fructus Ventris writes in the comment box:

I have a great granola recipe if you are interested.

Here is mine from Quicker,
Lighter, Better


Granola Topping or Cereal

2 cups old-fashioned or quick cooking oats, not instant

1 cup broken walnuts or sliced almonds or a combination

1/2 cup dark or golden raisins or a combination

1/3 cup honey

1 tablespoon mild vegetable oil

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1.Heat oven to 350 degrees F.

2. Spread the oatmeal, nuts, and raisins in a 13 x 9-inch baking pan.

3. In a small saucepan, combine the honey, oil, and cinnamon. Bring to a boil. Pour over the oats and stir until evenly distributed. Bake 25-30 minutes, stirring frequently, until the mixture is golden. Cool mixture in the baking pan. Crumble the granola into small pieces when it is cooled. Store in a jar or plastic bag.

I was too upset

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I was too upset to blog about this before!

They are cancelling Buffy The Vampire Slayer after this season.

Actually, while part of me is really sad, they cannot seem to bring it back to the same show it was the first few seasons. Dawn whines too much, Willow and the gay thing, Buffy and Spike when Angel is supposed to be her True Love, but he can't be because they are on different networks...maybe it's just time.

Wow! Greg Popcak Book

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Wow! Greg Popcak Book Fans R Us!

Davey's Mommy just blogged about the same book! So funny!

We're into the "attachment parenting" concept, which Popcak does a great job explaining and promoting.

My Spirited Child My Fastolph

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My Spirited Child

My Fastolph is what
Mary Sheedy Kurcinka would probably call a "Spirited Child".
He is full of energy, inquisitive, physically strong, and verbal . I have been having quite a hard time with him. I realised as I mentioned before, that my parenting skills were sorely lacking.

A few years ago a friend gave me the book To Train Up a Child. The basic premise of the book is that if a child misbehaves, they should get "switched" for their wrongdoings. That power struggles should be sought out, and basically, the child's will be broken (my analysis). While the Protestant-ness of the book did not appeal to me, the idea of not allowing a child to walk all over you did. I see so many snotty, spoiled children with no respect for their parents, themselves or anyone, raising children to turn out that way scared me.

When Fastolph's personality started to blossom, I found that he was getting switched at every turn with no end in sight to his bad behaviour. I abandoned the method, but felt lost as to what to do now.

I recently (finally) got a copy of Parenting With Grace by Greg and Lisa Popcak. I have only been through the first 100 pages, but the difference in my Fastolph is amazing. You would think it was so simple. I cannot go into great detail yet because I want to finish the book, but if I can sum up what I have done differently, I would start with the Golden Rule. I started to attempt to treat him just as I would want to be treated and forgot all about this "I am Mother, I am here; You are Child, You are there!" stuff. Basically it is like putting the same effort into building the
relationship with my children like I do with my marriage (communication, service, love, etc.).

For example, if Fastolph asked me for something, and the answer was "no", I would just say "no" and we would start with a temper tantrum. Now I make a point of explaining to him why I said "no" until I truly think he understands, and attempt to redirect him. "No, we cannot play that game now because I actually have no idea where it is. How about we colour a picture together instead?" Also, "but first you need to eat and get dressed. If you do not eat and get dressed, it is your choice to not play that game..."

OK, I have to read some more of the book, but the Popcaks are awesome in my opinion.

Grrrrrrr I am really bummed.

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Grrrrrrr

I am really bummed. There was recently a law suit in New York about the Physics Regents exams. The Board of Regents was being sued because people from some more wealthy areas of NY State were not passing the tests-even though the wealthy public schools were supposed to be the best, and the students the smartest. Guess, what, students did not pass, and what to do? Study more physics? Improve the science department at the schools? No, sue the Office of Assesment for making the tests harder. The law suit was thrown out. As a result, the NY Times has published an article about my father (Dr. Gerald DeMauro) which is not true. Where is it not true? Pretty much the whole thing such as, no one called him and spoke to him before this article was written.

Sorry about the rant and the whining, but I am so bummed!

Abortion and Fruits of the

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Abortion and Fruits of the Spirit-Part II

When I was an adolescent, I think I was the only one I knew who was not only Pro-life, but did not have an abortion. When I was 17, my "best friend" had an abortion. Actually, I came to find out later the number was more like 4 abortions...

I thought she was my best friend. We were on the cheerleading squad together in High School, she was the Matron of Honour at my wedding, I was her son's Godmother-you get the picture. I had to end our friendship because I found out later she was bending anyone's ear who would listen, including my husband, about my secret life. When no one was looking I was having numerous affairs and had 6 abortions. I mean the rumours she was spreading, she must have really hated me.

I never understood what the deal was, I just distanced myself as much as possible as quickly as possible.

Lately, I am wondering what part abortion may have played in that whole fiasco. Only because "abortion" seemed to come up time and again. Not that I think everyone who has an abortion gets so jealousy ridden they cannot think straight, but I certainly think there is something to be said about the fact society does not allow women to mourn such a loss and especially not say "Oh Gosh, I really f***ed up!".

We know mortal sin robs a person's soul of grace and one of the side effects is basically not being able to make "right" decisions clearly. How is abortion ever a good thing for anyone...

Sometimes I feel like I am in a sound proof room screaming about how abortion does nothing to help anyone...

So Peony, what's the verdict?

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So Peony, what's the verdict?

Did you watch Veggie Tales? Was it King George and the Ducky (one I highly recommend for those new to VeggieTaledom)? What did you think?

Abortion and the Fruits of

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Abortion and the Fruits of the Spirit

A few weeks ago I blogged about how I did not understand that if abortion is such a good thing, why is everyone that abortion touches so unhappy? I did not understand to what dimension this is true until I read Ashli's recent blogs from the Abortion Crime Report. Wow.

I honestly think the evil of abortion not only creeps into those who are directly involved in abortion, but into how we view children in our society as a whole. I was chit chatting with my parents recently about how common daycare is. When I worked at a daycare, people would drop their small babies off from 8.30 am until 5.30 pm. They would take them home and put them down for a nap, and then go off for the weekend and leave the children with their parents or go away on vacation sans children. This seems to be more common in practice than not. The children that we decide to have, we do not seem to value. It is my personal opinion that this is a side effect of our abortive/contraceptive Culture of Death.

This is fun: Psychic Flash

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This is fun:

Psychic Flash Movie
I had a heck of a time figuring out how it worked...

Now I Know Why!I never

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Now I Know Why!
I never before understood why everything has a website until I started blogging. Now I know it is for the purpose of adding hyperlinks in a blog.

Here's a "for example":

It was getting close to lunch time. I was getting ready to prepare my children a box of Annie's Macaroni and Cheese and some Bangkok
Curry Instant Soup
for myself. Then my husband surprised us by coming home for lunch bearing gifts of M and M's and Cert's because he had just stopped at Hannaford's supermarket on the way home. It was an esecially great day because he told me to put away the soup and mac and cheese because he was taking us to McDonald's where we could get a soft drink, but I could not remember if they served Coke or Pepsi.

On the way home, we stopped off at Christmas Tree Shops where they were selling what looked like Razor Scooters. We did not buy anything though, just browsed.

Saturday Stuff Yesterday we packed

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Saturday Stuff

Yesterday we packed up the kids and took a trip to Howe Caverns which is an indoor cave with all kinds of neat rock formations like stalactites, stalacmites and even an indoor river complete with boatride. The kids thought it was very cool (so did we).

Then we went to Bugaboo Creek Steakhouse for a late lunch/early dinner. This is an interestting Canadian-themed-kid-friendly-with-a-big-bar-restaurant. It is decorated with moose heads, buffalo heads and all sorts of "lodgy" looking taxidermy that are actually animatronic and come to life when ever Mom's head is turned. It is usually fun, but for whatever reason, they forgot my and my hubby's burgers until after the kids were done eating their food, which turned quickly into a nightmare with a bored baby...

Interracial Friendships Kevin Miller at

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Interracial Friendships

Kevin Miller at HMS blog posted on an article about interracial friendships that, in my opinion had some fact, but a divisive purpose. I responded to Mr. Miller at HMS blog and he posted my reply...

Peony! As I was typing

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Peony!

As I was typing this, the cookie jar came to mind as "putting tack to good use!" I still want one of those too! LOL!

Well, uh, Peony... I was

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Well, uh, Peony...

I was going to get my Posco a baseball Rosary. OK, OK, yes, I do think it is a bit tacky, but I like putting tack to good use. We are redoing the boys room in a Yankees theme, and I was going to stick the picture up of Jesus playing baseball with the little boy and a baseball rosary up. If it has to be baseball, it's better if it's Catholic and baseball. Hee hee!

Peony, I know I am

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Peony, I know I am extremely crunchy when it comes to childbirth options and pre-natal interventions. I never pretended to be the level headed Sleepy Mommy either. I remember reading that C-sections were not allowed unless truly necessary, as well as inductions. Yet most people I know from real life have never truly needed either...

Why would anyone who does not need a C-section want one? Then again, I, the not so level headed Sleepy Mommy cannot even understand why someone would choose an epidural over water when they have the choice...

Greg Popcak talks about C-sections

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Greg Popcak talks about C-sections from an AP perspective...
His perspective is as refreshing as always.

So What's Wrong with AP

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So What's Wrong with AP Parenting?

I have been reading Greg and Lisa Popcak's Parenting With Grace, (which is an awesome book by the way). On page 13 the Popcaks say:

Divine Revelation that is at least as important as Scripture-Creation itself-which the Church has referred to as the "Book of Nature."

Why am I bringing this up? I have been as of late going through some major reassesments of my parenting approach. I am in new territory with my older two children, and I am screwing up, not big time, but I am. So I have been reflecting "where" my mess ups lie.

For example, I yell a lot. I do not mean to, I try not to, but I do. I have been thinking "when did I start yelling?" (Before I go on, let me state, this is in no way saying others are responsible for my shortcomings, my shortcomings are my own).

When RoseyPosey was a baby, I worked at a daycare (never again). It seemed cool because I "needed" a job and she could come with me to work. One day when we were trying to leave, PoseyPosey was being an inquisitive toddler and was looking at toys, and mind you, she was only about 18 months. I asked her "RoseyPosey, time to go." She ignored me and I asked again. While it is hard to describe, I did not feel she was misbehaving, but curious, and it did not bother me. I gave her a minute to put to absorb "time to leave" and when I asked again, she put the toy down and we left.

The next day, a co-worker who was a mother of two teenagers told me I was waaayyyy too tolerant with my daughter and I didn't put enough "gusto" in my voice. The conversation went on to describe how none of them "put up with anything" from their children and yelled a lot. It was soon after I began my bad habit of yelling.

Now here is finally the point of this blog. There are many times after this, that I was told my instincts were incorrect in regard to mothering. Some other examples would be:

  • "You cannot let that baby sleep with you."
  • "Put that baby down or she will never let you put her down."
  • "You need to wean him, he is too old!"

I was very young when I had RoseyPosey (20), so I never trusted my instincts when people gave me advice or more importantly the "right way" to do things.I find myself wishing I put more stock in my instincts because I have to undo bad parenting habits-ones I never would have even considered if not for the "advice" I received. I also wonder at what point instinctive parenting became wrong?

It feels good to know that when God sends us children, He doesn't just say "here's a kid, OK, you figure out the rest..." but has wired us with some info on how to raise them. I am actually learning (or relearning) what "feels natural" in regards to my parenting choices are more positive then the ones I am directed to do more often then not.

Just in Case You Were

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Just in Case You Were Wondering...

Peony has changed the template colours from Ordinary Green to Lenten Purple. Also, her weather pixie is wearing a daring little black and fishnet ensemble...

The Mighty Barrister tells it

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The Mighty Barrister tells it like it is in his comments about a new type of birth control that suppresses menstruation.

I don't think you have to be a "feminist" to see that misogyny is at the base of it. These women can't see that men are doing this to them in order to make them more available to be used and discarded. It used to be that if you wanted to get together with a woman, you had to stick around a while. Now, it's literally wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. You are being used like a toilet, and you women are buying into it simply because it's "your choice."

I commented, and I was wondering, there is so much out there on the market to combat the side effects of menstruation. I hope this is not too personal, but between pregnancy and breastfeeding, I have not needed to think much about these problems since I have been married. I wonder if contraception has a direct effect (not just hormonally but because women are menstruating more) and has fueled more of an industry to combat the problems of PMS...

First Good-Night's Sleep in a

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First Good-Night's Sleep in a Long Time...

I did not realise how badly we were sleeping, I mean with us falling out of the bed, and mattress spings poking me in the small of the back until we slept on our new bed last night. I mean, I knew we needed a bigger bed, or at least a new mattress, but I really did not know how badly!

Catholic Culture On Saturday night,

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Catholic Culture

On Saturday night, Polo and I went to a neighbor's house to watch the Roy Jones Jr./John Ruiz fight on pay-per-view. Many different topics came up during the conversation. At one point, one of the gentlemen asked my husband if he is teaching the children Spanish and if "no", why not?. My husband told me later that he was baffled by the question because the asker's significant other is not Hispanic, and Spanish is not a first or even second language in their household either. I explained to my husband that the question was not really about linguistics at all, but how is it that he could let his Puerto Rican heritage play second fiddle to any other culture. Needless to say, I asked my husband if he replied "because, we are starting off with Latin as a foreign language first."


The conversation had me thinking about our family and how I always felt our predominant family cultural identity is of course "Catholic American" (as opposed to "American Catholic" i.e. decorates with androgenous looking Mullet Jesus'). Webster's dictionary defines culture as the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group. I feel most at home around people who love to be surrounded by pictures of the Blessed Mother, who have the same ideals about family especially in regard to birth control, abortion and marriage. Even when I go to many diocesan events, I do not necessarily feel at home because it is not really "Catholic" in essence...


So this made me wonder, many Catholics these days, I do not think think of themselves as "culturally Catholic." Was there a time that they ever did? I wonder when Latin was more the widespread as the language of the Church, did people identify more with being "Catholic" as opposed to being whatever? So this is where my mind has been for the past few days...

Beauty, relationships, shallowness.
Dinka has a good post about physical beauty. It is so sad how we judge so much on the external...

Mullet for Jesus OK, that

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Mullet for Jesus

OK, that hairdo was really bad, but it asks the question that begs to be answered "Why do they fall short of making Jesus look attractive in modern day art?"

I mean a mullet is an almost criminal offense, but why is He always so wimpy and androgenous looking? Gives me the heeby jeebies.

New Bed! We purchased a

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New Bed!

We purchased a new King Size bed.I said to the salesman "I need a king a size bed, but just simple...Big and simple," I kept my mouth shut about co-sleeping to the salesman because I remember the hassles Davey's Mom got about co-sleeping. Although he was suspicious because I kept saying things to Polo like "well, I hope that mattress isn't too fluffy for the kids," I really didn't want a "what's wrong with AP lecture".

It is being delivered today.

The two youngest have some kind of high fever affliction. Not sure what it is. Gorbulas is in pretty good spirits considering a 103 degree fever. When I have a fever like that, I usually cannot do anything besides lay in bed and whine.

Probably will not hear much from me today between sick kids, a new bed and dh working from 8-8.

Up and Hungry Again Sometimes

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Up and Hungry Again

Sometimes the baby wakes me up too often and after a couple of times I am "up" for good-or at least for a little while...


Last night I made Curry Spiced Lentils and Spinach for dinner. It is one of those things that tastes a lot better than it looks. If it is any testament to the veracity of my statement, my children cleaned their plates and said "mmmmm".


I love anything curried, it is major comfort food to me. I realised this yesterday when I was making my little dehydrated-add-boiling-water-and-eat-paper-cup-curried-soup for lunch yesterday, it was curry all day. I want to say it is due to my West Indian background (Jamaicans eat curry, particularly curried goat which is very good), but Jamaican curry is not my favourite. I love Thai food, Sri Lankan and Indian. I am a particular slave to hot peppers.


My love for curry started I would say in my senior year of high school. My father was a Fulbright Scholar in the Fiji Islands. The country is 51% Indian-the British Imported the Indians as indentured servants to work the land in the 1800's. To this day there are many problems between the Indian and the indigenous Fijian (melanesian) population.


Back to food, there was a nifty little "chain" of restaurants called Hari Krishna. They served awesome ice cream-my favourite was nutmeg and cinnamon. My girlfriends and I would go there for breakfast or lunch and pig out on potato curry with roti and samosa with chutney. Mmmm, hungry now...


Fiji is also where my family reverted/converted, which is a store I will tell later...


Di Fattura Caslinga: Pansy's Etsy Shop
The Sleepy Mommy Shoppe: Stuff we Like
(Disclaimer: We aren't being compensated to like this stuff.
Any loose change in referral fees goes to the Feed Pansy's Ravenous Teens Fund.)


Pansy and Peony: The Two Sleepy Mommies



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