Pansy: June 2003 Archives

Erik! Erik! Help!(or anyone else)

I need summer friendly (preferably for the grill), healthy recipes. I made your salmon with the mango-avocado salsa last night and it was so good. I cannot make that every night though. What else can I make????

Hot!

It is so hot. It was cold last week, this week is hot. I refuse to leave the house today. I am sitting around in my sulu, drinking water and am not going out in public where I have to wear hot "decent" clothes". No way! The kids are sitting around in T-shirts and boxers and I don't care. So there!

I am going to grill something for dinner or just eat PB and J. Mmmm, I love peanut butter and jelly and potato chips...I digress.

Back to the Routine

We came back last night from our two weeks of camping. We had a so much fun. We came home last weekend for Posco's First Holy Communion and to host visiting family members, and went back. Now I am not having fun because I have two weeks of muddy (it was cold and raining the first week). buggy, smokey clothes to wash.

For some reason while we were camping, my boys kept wetting themselves at night. At one point my husband and the other father (we went with another family) told my four year old that if he is too scared to walk to the lavatory by himself, just go outside and pee in the bushes. The first night the kids were in bed and I was sitting by the campfire and I hear the tent unzip. Fastolph was standing close enough to the entrance to just stick his little you know what out and pee. I was like "oh no, my shoes are right there!" (thankfully he missed). I was relieved at first that I had no pee pee clothes in the morning, but for some reason he started to be under the impression that as long as you were at camp you could drop them and pee anywhere. Ugh.

Now back to the routine of things...

Posco's First Holy Communion

Pansy and Posco

Posco

And guess what? I did have matching blue dress pants!

Tag Team Mommies

I just got back from my camping trip for good, just in time for Peony to leave for her family visit. Sniff sniff, I am going to miss her.

The Side Effects of This Whacky Diocese

This is the only time I hope no one I know is reading this blog, but this has been weighing on my mind. We have spent the past week, with a fellow homeschooling, TLM family. They have been so kind to us and a lot of fun. Many other families have come to visit and I have gotten a deeper look at the "Orthodox" Catholic movement in this diocese-people who have always lived here and have been formed here. I have kept a huge distance because I was scared. I see why now.

There are no "normal" Catholics here. There are no Catholics who really love the faith that do not have a peer understanding of "being in the world" means so to speak. Everything is an issue that was brought to us by Satan-TV, Harry Potter, pants, electricity, cities, abortion, etc. I am not at all saying that parents should not be discerning about these issues and they may or may not have hidden dangers. Actually, what I think I am saying is just that, parents should be discerning perhaps instead of jumping on the "that's evil" bandwagon and giving parents who have chosen a different route some leeway as far as being "real Catholics".

The orthodox Catholic movement here spend there time praying in front of a Planned Parenthood in Schenectady every Thursday and Saturday morning. OK cool. I have not been, I do not have time. I protested before I became a mother, and still continue to do things like attend Holy Hours for Life, vote pro-life, I organised a Baby Shower at my old NO parish last year etc. Things more "Mom friendly" if you know what I mean. I was told a few days ago that these are not authentic pro-life actions. Organisations such as Birthright are fence sitters in the war against abortion because they do not protest in front of the abortion clinics. My jaw dropped. This is not Catholic in philosophy.People are not supposed to neglect their families to protest. Even when my father was ordained as a deacon, he was not supposed to take that his ministries to the point of family neglect (when he had one before moving to Albany).

The priest who runs the abortion protesting movement in the one who tells people they have to go protest in Schenectady or else they have not proven themselves in his eyes. Um, is it me or is there something scary about this?

I Forgot My Wedding Anniversary!!!
I was reading the greeting at Mommentary, and saw it was dated June 18. I kept thinking "June 18, June 18, why is that date significant? Ack! That is my wedding anniversary!!!" How bad is that?

Back from Camping for a Breath...

Tomorrow is Posco's FHC, and tomorrow afternoon we are camping for another week. I will try to pop in and blog a bit more, but I have a ton of muddy clothes to wash...

Cool, an X-Men Quiz

You are Gambit!

You are a fierce fighter and a good friend to have.
Your preference for solitude and your
attractiveness make you very intriguing to
those you meet. Unfortunately, close
relationships are few and far between for you
because you often have trouble opening up to
others.


Which X-Men character are you most like?
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Some good songs, that if they weren't on the countdown, should have been. Please add yours.(25 years ago brings us back to 1978) :o)

Back to Life by Soul II Soul
Always Be My Baby by Mariah Carey
Vision of Love By Mariah Carey
Hold On by EnVogue
Cars Ride By by LL Cool J (same beat)
The Choice is Yours by Black Sheep
Die Without You by PM Dawn
Can't Keep From Loving You by Gloria Estefan
I Will Always Love You by Troop (was my Wedding Song)
The Search is Over by Survivor
Livin' in the Light by Caron Wheeler
A Little Bit Longer by Maxi Priest
Murder She Wrote Chaka Demus and the Pliers
Mr Loverman by Shabba Ranks
Sorry by Foxy Brown
Who Seh Me Dun by Cutty Ranks
Kissing You by Faith Evans
You're Still the One by Shania Twain
Forever my Lady By Jodeci
All My Life by KC and JoJo
Just the Two of Us by Chubb Rock and Supercat
Can't Let Go by Mariah Carey
Blame it On the Rain by Milli Vanilli (I don't care about the lipsynching, the song is a good one)
All This Love by DeBarge
Tennesee by Arrested Development

I have more, but nursing break is up.

Update:Your Music Choice Reveals Your Personality

If you like blues, jazz, classical, or folk music...
...then you are intelligent, tolerant, and politically liberal.
If you like country or religious music...
...then you are cheerful, outgoing, reliable, and conventional.
If you like alternative or heavy metal music...
...then you are physically active and a curious risk-taker.
If you like rap/hip-hop or and dance music...
...then you are outgoing and agreeable and generally eschew conservative ideals.

Just a Little Prayer

I have a lot to do in the next two days. OK, I have to finish Posco's suit for his First Holy Communion which is proving to be problem some, the sleeves kept bunching up. The machine stopped on me (needed to be cleaned underneath-I'd like to give a shout out to God for blessing unmechanically aware women like me with husbands). The sleeves still are a bit "gathery", but again, for 1 hour I think it will pass. If I run out of time though, the khaki pants with the be jacket may have to do-unless the navy blue dress pants he has already are a pretty good match.

I have to get Rosey-Posey off to her girlfriends house for a sleepover after dinner tonight.

I have to pack for our week (maybe two) long camping trip (Saturday morning).

I have to clean (not normal housecleaning, but the major housecleaning) the place because my husband's mother, cousin and aunt are coming for Posco's First Holy Communion. Polo has to finish painting, but he will probably take advantage while we are camping so he does not have to worry about some small person sticking their foot in a paint can.

I am hoping to get a few minutes to put together an Elizabeth Lee nursing swimsuit before we go because I had a drawer full of bikinis (laughing) and I purchased this nifty leopard skin print swimsuit fabric.

Anything else? Yes, I have a new kiddy tent I need to put up and waterproof, except it is raining. So I could use a prayer for things to get done. Let's see, St. Anne is the Patron of Homemakers and Seamstresses, St. Imelda is for First Communicants. Anyone else I could go to for help??

My schedule is not so bad, either. The family we are going with (little Daisy Brandybuck's family) are closing on a house today and have Daisy's First Holy Communion on the 22 also. Fortunately for them, I do not think they have out of town family coming to stay with them.

So if you do not see me for a while, you know why. If I get a chance during a nursing baby break (that is when I get on the computer), I want to blog about some of my favourite songs from the past 25 years, but if I drop off the face of the earth-er, cyberspace for a while, you know why.

"Stud"?!?

What Common Breed of Dog Are You?
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VH-1's 100 Greatest Songs for the Past 25 Years.
Number 1 is Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana. I beg to differ, but what do I know? I am not getting paid to pick music.

Joss Whedon Discusses Writing for "Buffy"

My Daughter in Her "SVIMvear"

Now, if the sun ever comes out in Albany, I am hoping we are all set for summer.

Carribean Catholics Celebrate Mass

Thank you for the link via De Fidei Obodientia, via The Curt Jester.

Why is ethnocentricity an excuse for Liturgical abuses?

Borinquen Dance Theatre dancers moved to the beat of a steel drum band. Worshipers read biblical lessons in Spanish, French and English -- the three languages spoken on the Caribbean islands...“This is what it means to be a Catholic -- it’s all inclusive, not exclusive.”

Ok, so where did the "Mass" part of the Mass fit in? I had a good chuckle at this though:

“A lot of times, we don’t particularly like each other,” Carter said. But everyone must try, he said.

This gave me a huge chuckle. For many of these Carribean ethnicities, the only thing they have in common is the ocean their islands happen to be in. Lumping together Puerto Ricans and Jamaicans like they are one culture is really kind of funny. I am Jamaican American, my husband is Puerto Rican and we had major cultural conflicts in the beginning of our marriage. The reason why it worked and the thing we had in common was being Catholic. Not our diversity, but our commonality in the Mystical Body of Christ. My Italian culture is closer to my husband's Puerto Rican culture than my Jamaican culture is.

Gosh, whenever I see stuff like this I want to paste a "but I'm kind of a normal Catholic, really I am" sign on my shirt.

I am an alien in my family

Dh and the kids were counting the days until Crocodile Hunter Live. They ran around at 9 saying "Dad, it's time!" while my husband popped some popcorn. I was so bored.

Can you please tell me what I am supposed to do with this information?

U.S. Sees Likely Al Qaeda WMD Attack Within 2 Years

I mean is this supposed to be useful? Well, I guess I will buy my duct tape, bottled water (much I still have incidentally from the Y2K thing) and go to confession.

Proud Mama Moment

Posco made his first confession yesterday. He did well. He was scared at first and prior to his going we had this conversation:

Me: Ok, are you ready for your first confession?
Posco: I can't do it, I am only 7 years old. Rosey-Posey didn't have to do it at 7.
Me: No Dear, Rosey-Posey was 6.
Posco: Oooohh!
Me: Now do you know what to do? You go in and kneel and say "bless me Father, for I have sinned, this is my first confession. My sins are..." and you tell him your sins.
Posco: But most of my sins are fighting with my bro-
Me: Shhhhh, you do not need to tell me your sins, you tell the priest.

Then we brought him over where Father was standing and waiting. He went in and I was so nervous, I walked away, pacing and saying Memorares. When I looked back Father was standing there, and I thought "oh no, he totally flubbed up his Act of Contrition and Father is not going to let him make his First Holy Communion." Just then Ian popped out of the vestibule and Father said to me "where's Daisy Brandybuck of Buckland?": Whew.

I asked Ian how it went and he said "good". Poor little Daisy was standing there with tears running down her eyes and her father was trying to talk her into going. He eventually picked her up and stuck her in the confessional.

On the way home, Posco asked if he should go every week and my dh chimed in "yes, you should make a habit and go every week, It is good for you." I hope dh takes his own advice.

"Bling-Bling" Makes New Oxford Dictionary
Proper usage: "I be bling-blinging all the way to the bank, yo!"

Oh well, so much for modesty
The baby took his clothes off and is running around nekked. I give up.

but before you think I am just off the deep end, there is a practical aspect to them as well, which is what sold me on them. When the kids go swimming let's say at the lake, which was where I had in mind, the kids get in the water, get out and run around, get in the water, get out and run around. I go through a ton of wet towels and sandy clothes from putting clothes back on and clothes back off. Sun block back on and sun block back on and on which is a must on her skin. This swimsuit looked like a good alternative to play around in after swimming. Boys are always so much easier because you can throw a T-shirt and they are like dressed.

But I also think that is part of the problems when you dress little girls like mini teenagers. Children like to run and play. Especially girls who have three brothers and three uncles. Clothing should comfortably accomodate that too.

Zoe Romanowsky blogs about Weighing in on Modesty over at HMS:

That there are actually children who can't swim because they're not allowed to wear bathing suits is very troubling. Maybe because I grew up on the coast and spent most of my summers with siblings and neighbors running around in hand-me-down swimsuits and barefeet all day. I don't think you can equate parents who curb TV watching with parents who never let their children appear in anything but skirts/dresses and long pants. To me, this is not modesty. This is fear of the body because of over associating the body with sex. This is a lack of understanding of the theology of the body, and can even be harmful to the children.

So, alrighty then, let's start with swimming. The selection of swimsuits these days are horrendous. My daughter is ten. There are little string bikinis at Target for for children her age. This is stupid. Swimming is really one of the most fun summer activities. Why has it become so sexualised?

I do not think one has to be a religious Catholic to ask this question. Back in my pre religious-Catholic days, when I had no sense of modesty, partied, believed marijauna should be legalised, I never understood the concept of a bikini. I mean you would not walk around outside in your bra and panties, but it is ok if it is made out of blue spandex? I thought perhaps I was being a bit extreme, and since I was a personal trainer and had worked hard for a (ahem) hot bod, I owed it to myself to show it off a bit. I would go shopping and I have a drawer full of bikinis. I never could bring myself to set foot out the house with one on. I wore them like twice, once when I was pregnant because I did not have a maternity bathing suit at the time and put a huge T-shirt over it. The second time, again, I stayed in my shorts and Tee because I was too embarrassed to walk around in mixed company in the equivalent of my underwear.

My daughter feels the same way. Swimming should be fun and it is no fun when you feel like people are staring at your lack of clothing all the time (she also has a much better sense of modesty then I did). I am making her a Wholesome Wear swimsuit for our camping trip next week. My daughter and I are also extremely fair skinned and always end up with bad sunburn, so I am hoping for some relief. See, it is more practical, not just about modesty, sexuality and all that other stuff.

The other extreme is of course prudishness and just plain weirdness. I know families who do not allow the boy siblings and girls siblings go swimming together. Why not? Because Hollywood has over sexualised swimming, can't we bring it back to what it is, a fun physical activity? Sheesh. I mean we can allow them to play dodge ball together, right? Maybe I should not ask that. Again, I should not begrudge families how they spend their time, but it is not "Catholic", but there own sense of lifestyle.

I liked Lisa's story about being a witness by simply looking like you fit in with contemporary culture. I remember moving in with a new roommate who, when she found out I went to Mass regularly, exclaimed, "But you look so normal."

Oh yes, I believe we should look as "normal" as possible. I try to stay fashionable and I think for the most part I do OK. More and more though, it is getting harder to find nice clothing that is modest and fashionable, so I think if many a thirty year old looked into my closet, they might find some of it dowdy. It is comprised of mostly long dresses and skirts, true. I do not think any of them scream out "Puritan" as much as "oh, she likes to wear skirts". The point of my clothing choices is not to be Puritanical as much as I got tired of walking by a man and getting that "look". It is not a pleasant form of attention and it is disrespectful. Actually, it makes me sick to the pit of my stomach. When I go out with my husband and children, I want them to see a respectful family.The truth is, I do not want too much attention from my appearance, I just want to blend in, go about my daily business unhindered. So I will take slightly dowdy.

I know many who totally follow the rules of some writing that a priest wrote in the 20's about how women should dress. It is fine if people want to stay covered, I have no problem with that. It is hard because I know every five seconds they are assessing "look how immodest she is, look how she is dressed"-it puts me back to wondering if what I am wearing is acceptable...I am not sure how Christian that is in philosophy and there is something to be said about why the Church does not require a dress code.

Shrugging shoulders

You are MADELINE BASSETT!

You're a lovely, tender girl--you love rainbows and
fairies and daisies and baby's breath and
gumdrops and summer storms and heavenly poems
and feather quilts and starry nights and songs.
There's no need for you to biff off--all of
your companions ran away hours ago!


Which Wooster and Jeeves Character Are You?
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My Grandmother's House is Haunted

Or whatever you want to label it. Before my fellow Catholics start throwing virtual rotten fruit at me, how about I label it "there are creepy things that go on there that fit the 'haunted' description." How's that?

Before my husband and I were married, he blew my description off as it just being my loopy self. As of June 3, 2003, my big, bad, born in the South Bronx and "please, I ain't afraid of that" husband will not spend the night at my grandmother's unless it is out of a dire necessity. He is very skeptical about "hauntings" but states "I'm not sleeping there, it's creepy. I don't know why, it just is." He usually goes on to refer to the time when the doors started slamming by themselves, or the footsteps we heard climbing the steps repeatedly failed to materialise a tangible person once the top step was reached.

Even for people who have not experienced these more tangible sights and sounds, there has yet to be a person to visit my grandmother who has not said that the creepy feeling and the sense of being watched is just at the unbearable point.

The last time I spent the night there was when I was pregnant and on bed rest with my seven year old due to pre-term labour. My husband and mother thought that since I had a 2 year old to take care of, perhaps staying with my grandmother would be a good idea because my husband had to work. The event that kept me from returning for overnight visits was not the banging noises over the baby monitor, or the creepy feelings or footsteps. To tell the story, you need a bit of background of my grandmother's house. It is not a very old house (not by my standards), built I think in the 1920's in the "Fleetwood" section of Mt. Vernon, Westchester County, NY. It is a two family brick home with two three bedroom apartments connected by two stair cases, one in the front and one in the back. My grandmother lives downstairs and her brother and sister live upstairs. My great-grandmother lived up there too until she passed away a few years ago.

I do not think the entire house is haunted. There are some worse parts. The basement is bad, but not the whole basement, just certain rooms (or "work bins" as my grandmother calls them). One is so bad that I cannot walk into it without tearing up and losing my breath. I have to run out of there even to this day. In my grandmother's ground floor apartment, the bedrooms and bathroom are in the back and connected by a hallway. The bedrooms are bad, but the worst is the farthest bedroom which is not used at all as a bedroom. The hallway is bad also-no one uses the bathroom at night. The front staircase is never used, and needless to say is creepy, and the back stairs, although less creepy have phantom footsteps. All the doors are warped and do not close.

Back to pre term labour. One morning I woke up early to nurse my daughter. There is not clock in my bedroom, so I was not sure how early it was, and if my grandmother was up or not. I was playing with the baby. I heard footsteps going up and down the hall and thought "oh my grandmother is up." I looked at the door, which was not closed all the way, but cracked and saw a figure walk by. I opened the door quickly and turned my head to say "good morning" to my grandmother only to see the door to the bathroom across the hallway with the water running. My grandmother was in the bathroom, and whoever just walked by was gone. I called my husband and told him to come get me shortly after that. I refused to spend another night in that house since then.

Being Part of This World

My husband and a gentleman from Church have been having very animated and enjoyable conversations about the theology of The Matrix(yes, I am being sarcastic). The gentleman sees a great deal of Christian symbolism, which is a great deal of fun to discuss.

Afterwards he said something that rang so true. As religious Catholics, we try so hard to not be "of this world" in an attempt to cut evil out of our lives that it seems like we have cut everything just fun out, and you've got nothing left to do.

Racist Classic Remixed Into 'Rebirth'

In 1915, "The Birth of a Nation" changed the art of filmmaking. It also celebrated the Ku Klux Klan as heroes of the Civil War and Reconstruction. Now the movie itself is under reconstruction. The artist and musician DJ Spooky is treating the seminal but racist film like a piece of music _ he's doing a "remix." Spooky's work-in-progress, titled "Rebirth of a Nation," was shown at the American Museum of the Moving Image this week.

Spooky chose D.W. Griffith's "Birth" precisely because it deals with issues of race. By manipulating it, and showing how it can be changed, he hopes to show how images and ideas about race are mutable as well.

more...

I have only heard of the film Birth of a Nation, never have seen it. The content has piqued my curiosity, in all honesty because I wonder how they attacked such a complex subject with such a limited medium as silent film. I am not sure I would watch it though, because I find the subject matter kind of scary. If it is as blatantly, one-sidedly racist as the propaganda claims, I can see myself throwing a shoe at the TV.

From an artistic and musical point of view, the remix intrigues me. Actually, that has nothing to do with the subject matter at all, but the modern music mix with visuals of period costume and filmography. That I think I would enjoy watching.

In the article I linked to had this comment:

"You have to wonder what Griffith was thinking," he said.

Shary was curious at the idea of a film being remixed, but expressed a cautionary note as well.

"If you take a lot of scenes out of that film out of context, they do play very violently and they generate a lot of vehement reactions," he said, adding it could create misinterpretations of the originator's intent.

Sometimes I wonder if as African Americans we hold to much onto what has happened in the past as a means to hold a grudge. It scares me because it is not very Christian and I would hate to do damage to my soul, or worse, teach my children that they should be "proud of who they are" but really mean "hold a grudge" and damage their souls with anger.

The flip side is slavery is a part of this country's history and was an atrocity among atrocities in which the fruits and repercussions are still being reverberated loud and hard. While I have seen a sort of "never forget" push from the African American side, I have seen many a "oh it didn't really happen like that" tactic from many a history class that was not specifially labeled "African American History".

In his commentary on the film, DJ Spooky added:

"Birth of a Nation" focuses on how America needed to create a fiction of African American culture in tune with the fabrication of "whiteness" that undergirded American throughout most of the last several centuries - and it floats out in the world of cinema as an enduring albeit totally racist - epic tale of an America that, in essence, never existed.

I certainly see his point too.

As for the film itself, a clip can be viewed here. It looks to me like a music video, more music than actual content (not that music videos are without content, on the contrary, just not very positive content). I watched with a grain of salt and took it at face value (which I tend to do with most things I watch). I only wish I saw the original to have a reference point of comparison.

Saw Two Cute Movies at the Drive-In Last Night

The first was Finding Nemo. I am not going to say too much about it because I am beat and there was not a whole lot in the way of substance to talk about. I will say that out of all the Pixar movies, I enjoyed this one the most.

The second movie was Daddy Day Care which I wrongfully assumed I would hate because I am so militantly opposed to day care in the most of psychologically imbalanced ways imaginable. But all it was was an excuse to listen to little Four Year Old-isms and watch toddler antics with the thinnest of stories. It was very cute. My heart melted into submission when I heard the first 4 year old say "mahl-to-dex-trose" like she had marshmallows stuffed in her cheeks.