More Sabbatical-ising
I am seriously stressed about moving. I finally admitted to my mother how stressed I am and she said "well moving is extremely stressful Pansy, I lost thirty pounds last time we moved." That made me feel so much better.
But the past events of my life need me to pay more attention to the real world. I think the stress is affecting my mood, and hence my blog. I am edgy, tense and emotional and I need to get through the move and stuff.
Misfit
Today we went to the airshow and saw the Thunderbirds. It was a whole lot of fun. OK, I have been feeling sort of pathetic as of late because in this country that I am a native of, I feel like such a misfit. When I lived in Fiji, I was not a misfit, despite the fact I was not Fijian, Indian, Australian or New Zealander. I was "Pansy" not that black, Italian, chinese, scottish, "dee-yamm I ain't never heard of a mix like that"girl. Once a week I dream of returning, and I wake up on the verge of tears to go back.
Now, how does this tie in with the air show? Whenever we go to "wholesome" family events, we are practically the only minority family. When we go to "minority"-esque events, we are the only white-ish family.
I thought when we fled to the TLM, it would be Catholic. See, the Churches in Albany are divided big time by culture. I thought the TLM was strictly "Catholic" and the pastor actually is. Many of the parishioners have their own bizarre agenda, so I do not quite fit in there.
This is not about race as much as it is about divisions, or "diversity". Why in the USA is diversity such a virtue to the point that some who was born here feels more at home at some small island in the South Pacific? Why is it after how many years after the abolishment of slavery we have made very little strides in race relations in this country?
There are times I have been angry at my parents for being counter cultural, enlightened and intelligent people for marrying and creating me not only biracial in a country that wants you to choose one side or the other, but raising me Catholic to be able to see through the typical lies society spreads. Sometimes I wish I was one race to be able to stick to one side. Sometimes I wish I was not Catholic so I could be ignorant and fall into line with the way society feels about things such as abortion, birth control and premarital sex. I so know what the saying "ignorance is bliss" means.
Chivalrous Siblings
I try to take the kids to the park each day so they can get some outside time. Now that we are moving to the country, we will not have to go to some location for the children to play outside. We try to go early before it gets too hot and icky out. Yesterday morning, the grass was extremely wet. Instead of letting my daughter walk through wet grass, my son insisted on carrying her on his back from one area to the other. It was cute except she is much bigger than he.
Greg Popcak and the Sibling Charting Thing
I guess it was about a month and a half ago I was at a birthday party when someone said "Hey, have you ever heard of Greg Popcak? I just read an article from Catholic Family News about him, and it's not good. He said brothers should do their sisters NFP charts." The excerpt from the article read:
The "Brother" Chart
Popcak also advocates that parents should spend quite a few years teaching their teens about Natural Family Planning (NFP) "in preparation for married life".
In Beyond the Birds and the Bees, Popcak wrote, "Explain to your sons that as God is giving them the gift of their sexuality, He is asking them to spend the next several years learning how to use that gift properly. Part of that means that if he marries, he will be responsible for working with his wife to determine God's will for their lives, including when to have children and how many children to have. These are decisions that need to be made every month in collaboration with his wife and with prayer. After he is married, part of his responsibility will be to help his wife do something called charting, which means that he will write down the different signs that tell how healthy his wife is and when they could have a baby. I am aware of some families where the brother may chart his sister's temperatures for her, or even some cases where the mother shares her own NFP chart (minus the coitus record, of course) with the intent of acquainting the young men and women of the house with NFP. I also know some families who object to this idea on privacy or modesty grounds."[6]
Ok, I personally find the idea of sibling charting icky. I am not comfortable with the idea of talking about my charts with my parents, or anyone else for that matter. I am extremely close to my three brothers, but, well, ohmygosh, the thought is just butt nasty. However, while I think the idea is uncomfortable, I do not see anything anti-Catholic here. Also, nowhere does it say "siblings" should chart each other, but that he knows families who do that and others who do not because they might think it's gross (not "modest").
I have a copy of Beyond the Birds and the Bees that I have yet to read, so I cannot really comment on the context anymore than what is written here. I do like what Greg has to say in Parenting With Grace and while I think some of the things quoted may be over the top, Greg is a therapist who treats families who I am sure may have been hurt by teenagers with a bad or immoral sense of sexuality. I don't know, I kind of think he is being attacked for attempting to put Church teaching into practical use for families, and I personally see very few people who do that.
As for NFP itself, I am not the biggest "pro-NFP" person, I guess I am not as sexually "open" as I should be. I am not "anti" NFP either. I do not like the concept that everyone has to avoid children. I think there may be reasons to avoid, but as someone who wanted nothing but to be a Mom for as long as I can remember, it is hard when people get into your business about how many children you have, and tell you to stop having kids. Saying "well, I'm Catholic" to shut them up and get them out of your business doesn't hold water because "well, you have NFP..." Ugh. Anywho there is a huge discussion going on at Catholic and Enjoying It! about the CFN article, NFP, ugly pictures of OL of Guadalupe and anything else you can imagine...
I plucked a few comments from the box that worded my sentiments better than I could ever:
Frankly, I find the whole neocon "joy of charting" business a bit rich. NFP is supposed to be used to delay or space children for serious reasons, like severe economic hardship or sickness. Unfortunately, the emphasis in pro-NFP literature on its effectiveness ("99% effective - better than s") and ism ("like a new honeymoon every month" - at exactly the time when your wife is biologically least interested in ) really does make it sound like Catholic birth control. I really have no trouble with the Missionaries of Chrarity teaching NFP on the streets of Calcutta. But surely no one can argue that the majority of young Catholic couples in North America seriously need to delay having children.Furthermore, God, in His wisdom, has already provided a form of NFP that doesn't require charting: it's called breastfeeding, which naturally curtails fertility until the newest child is weaned.
Mark Cameron | Email | 08.20.03 - 10:06 pm |
My wife and I have been using NFP since the day we married six years ago. I've said before on this blog that you can't believe either side. It is neither immiserating or ineffective, as its opponents say, nor is it easy to do and a bringer of unambiguous and unending joy to a marriage. It's difficult, and requires a lot of dying to self, but it's the right thing to do, and if the Church decided tomorrow that artificial contraception were licit, we'd stick with this. We like the natural way.
Now, let me say this: I don't feel that I'm in any position to tell another couple that they're using NFP for the wrong reason. You can never tell what's going on within a marriage. We knew this NFP couple who would have struck others as people who didn't have a good reason to delay having another child. What those not close to them couldn't ahve realized, though, is that the wife was struggling with depression, and putting up a brave face to the world while she was seeing a therapist and taking medication for her symptoms. They eventually did have another baby, after she got her depression under control. I wouldn't be surprised, though, if there were some NFP users in their circles who privately thought N. and her husband were using NFP for unjustified reasons.
Rod Dreher | Email | 08.20.03 - 10:26 pm | #
Just a Reminder
Greg Popcak is going to be on EWTN Live.
Healthy Home Air Stuff
In my continuing quest to help my son's asthma, I found some interesting info. One page I found from the American Lung Association offered healthy cleaning alternatives.
Alternative Recipes
Fortunately, many common products offer safe and effective cleaning solutions to the following problems:Grease cutter - 1 cup of lemon juice + 1 cup of water
Scouring powder - 1 cup of baking soda + enough water to form a paste
Laundry stain remover - 1 tsp. of white vinegar or baking soda per machine load
Toilet bowl cleaner - cup vinegar (leave overnight and brush the next day)
Floor and furniture polish - 2 parts vegetable oil + 1 part lemon juice (for leather furniture: 1 cup vinegar + 1 cup linseed oil)
Metal cleaners (brass and copper) - lemon juice + salt to form a paste OR a lemon wedge dipped in baking soda OR hot white vinegar + salt OR hot ketchup applied with a rag
Glass cleaner - 1 part vinegar + 1 part water
Rug and carpet cleaner - baking soda
Flies - well-watered bowl of basil
Moth Repellant - Cedar chips in cotton sachets
Roach Repellent - Chopped bay leaves and cucumber skins
Another interesting tidbit I found is certain plants hel clean the air.
Growing plants in your office can be a relaxing and enjoyable escape from the "daily-grind". Besides offering an aesthetic value which many can appreciate, they also improve air quality. They do an excellent job of cleaning up the moisture within your office space in addition to filtering dangerous toxins.
Tip: Place aquarium gravel (found at your local pet shop) in your planting pot to reduce the growth of molds and mildew.
According to the Health eOffice website, the top 12 air-cleaning plants are:
- Areca Palms (chrysalidocarpus lutescens)
- Lady Palm (Rhapis excelsa)
- Bamboo Palm (Chamedorea Seigrizii)
- Rubber Plant (Ficus Robusta)
- Dracaena Janet Craig (Dracaens deremensis "Janet Craig")
- English Ivy (Hedera Helix)
- Dwarf Date Palm (Phoenix Roebelenii)
- Ficus Alii (Ficus Macleilandii "Alii")
- Boston Fern (Nephrolepis Exalta "Bostoniensis")
- Peace Lily (Spathiphyllum sp.)
- Corn Plant (Dracaeba Fragrans "Massangeana")
- Golden Pothos (Epiremnum Aureum)
Dinka writes about her new life, and changed figure...
The remains of the pregnancy and everything it took to let this baby out. It's scary. I am left with the miniature version of a classic beer belly, no, not a cute left-over pregnancy belly, but a flabby weird-shaped nothing sticking out with a dark line down the middle. All my other body parts that seemed proportionate to the big thing in front now suddenly appear their actual size and I feel every single pound. I know it's been only 2 weeks and it will all go back to normal, but, my god, what happened to me?! I guess it's "Motherhood Maternity"-fashion for me for another couple of months. Sigh.
For me, there is this secret competition to prove what a good mother I am, and part of that is "and see, she got her figure back so quick." I do not even know what that is all about. I do not know if it is a Pansy Moss thing, or the fact that our society is so embroiled in the Culture of Death that there is no appreciation for women whose shapes change due to child birth. Maybe a little of both.
Wifely Submission Stuff
And when it comes time to decide how Hambet will be educated (parish school v. homeschool), the decison will be made the same way.
This is an example that comes to mind. Before we sent Rosey Posey to kindergarten, we thought about school choices-Catholic school or this homeschooling stuff we heard about. Public school was not an option, I had gone through the public school system. My husband had gone through the parochial school system and he was unimpressed by any Catholic pressence moral or theological. We considered homeschooling and I was doing the "but what if, but what if" stuff. My husband finally said to me point blank "try it for one year and see how it works out." It was not an order but more of a firm decision where I could not find one. I took that firm choice as a sign from God through my husband. To be honest these types of decisions come few and far between. When they do come up, and my husband "takes the reigns" so to speak, I am actually quite comforted and relieved and try to leave the rest to God.
My example, I think, is quite similar to Peony's. Now if my husband said something real whacked like "ok, let's start a family business of drug trafficking" or something equally immoral or just plain crazy, I do not think it is necessary to be submissive.
The other dimension of "submission" people are talking about is day to day living. Cooking and cleaning, that sort of thing. I love being a housewife. Part of me shows love by acts of service such as feeding people and doing little things for them. The nature of love is it is pleasurable to give love as well as receive love. Somewhere, feminists decided that traditional housewife roles were a show of bondage as opposed to liberation-or something like that. But how is it demeaning to do what one wants with their life?Even if things go awry in a marriage, is it bad to hold on to the things that are stable, such as cooking, cleaning etc? Should someone throw out any show of love for someone in tough times?
I think perhaps this may differ from family to family. Some families, the women need to just get out. Some are situations that are temporary, or what ever. It is hard to say.
Peony, your marriage prep course sounded really cool. Ours was, well, it was not worth the time of day. I learned little to nothing about Catholic teaching on marriage in it.
We Went to the Fair Too!
Yesterday we went to 7.30 am Mass. It was great because they had a missionary priest from Peru, so it was a good Mass. Then we went off to the Altamont Fair. It was nice, cool and empty so early. We went and checked out the dairy goats, and chickens. I wanted info on raising dairy goats and chickens, but no one was around. We looked at cows, horses and all the 4-H barns. Then I found in the farthest corner what seemed like the "Pansy Moss" barn labeled Michael's. They had judging of quilts (no, I do not quilt), scrapbooking, sewing, baking and canning. I signed up to enter one of jams for next year. What fun!
Then we walked around and there was a lady making soap and she walked us step by step through the process. Very interesting. I would do that if I could, but Fastolph and lye in a house-sounds real bad.
Then we went to visit my parents. Woes me, two of my brothers are leaving on Friday for school. One will be a freshmen at Cornell, the other a sophomore at UB Buffalo. I am going to miss them. *Humph* do they really have to leave me and go off to school and stuff? OK, I guess so. Growing up and stuff, shame on them!
Channeling this energy into something positive.
My four year old loves women, particularly teenage girls. People chuckle about it "Oh, he is such a little playa," but I am seriously worried. I have never seen anyone flirt as much as Fastolph does in my life.
Here are a couple of examples. We were at Hannaford checking out and the bagger was a pretty blonde teenage girl. First he started grinning at her. Then he asked "what your name?" He then asked her various other questions, and she seemed quite charmed, (they all think he is "soooo cute").
As we were leaving he said to her "I see you later" while he nodded his head and grinned. Aaaagh!
Another example was when I buying sunglasses at a kiosk in the mall manned by what else, teenage girls. My son is not shy, but for this moment in time he decided to play shy. He hid behind me and would peek out his head at the girls just enough so they would start squealing, squeaking and saying "oh, he is so cute!" Then as soon as they squeaked he would hide back behind me.
He played this game until I completed my purchase, tugged at his shirt and said "C'mon".
This list goes on, like how he wishes he could get thrown out of the house so he could move in with two teenage girls from our Church.
I am really worried. We were at some restaurant and a poor waitress said "oh, he's going to be a heartbreaker"
"I don't a heartbreaker! I want a good responsible family man who is dedicated to one wife and provides and loves his children!"Poor woman.
I am really worried about this. If I pray hard enough, maybe he will turn out like Mr.Luse or something, you know a dedicated family man who seems to really love women.
Cheetah Girls Review
To quote Rosey Posey "Wow, that movie was butt cheesey." Yes, there was a huge scene at the end where the main characters dog falls down a hole and it suposedly brings down town Manhattan (which is really some place in Canada and doesn't look like Manhattan) to a halt. When the dog is recovered, they have to stop and perform a musical number. Couple that with overuse of the term "cheetah-licious" and that was like more corn than I can handle for one night, let alone in one movie.
But the girls were very cute and very talented. Watching them sing and dance was a lot of fun. I really liked the way the movie broke down racial barriers a bit, without making it the basis for the silly movie. PC, I know, but I get a kick out of it. That is one place the media can catch up with the real world.
Hee hee, I made Posco help me with the tapes
Now we are going to watch The Cheetah Girls.
Hmm, Catholic Exchange validated my fears about what Freaky Friday is about...
I keep seeing the scene where Jamie Lee Curtis supposedly in Lindsay Lohan's body touches the long hair and says "this isn't mine" and then grabs her rear and says "This certainly isn't mine!" or something to that effect (how soon we forget about that scene from True Lies). The flip side is Lindsay Lohan inside Jamie Lee Curtis's body exclaiming "Oh I am old! I'm like the Crypt Keeper!" Everytime I see that preview I flinch and think "oh, not another teens are so cool and everyone else is square" movie.
Oh brother
I think I have blogged about my grandmother occasionally. She lives about 2.5 hours away down state in a small city called Mt.Vernon, NY. This is a city in Westchester County on the border of the Bronx that is four square miles, yet extremely densely populated. For the most part, much of the Italian population in this city is most likely a distant relative of mine.
My grandmother is a hypochondriac who suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder. That is somewhat excusable, except she is also a control freak. For example, she has a fit if I leave home, and believe it or not, every chance I get, I like to take the kids and run the streets (you know, go to the movies, cook-outs, Church and other such activities) in nice weather. She does not approve of my "gallivanting" so every time I leave the house she has to make me pay. This is her new hobby. She leaves tons of messages on my answering machine. If I do not return the call or show up, she calls my parents and starts harassing them. Her latest line is "I got so nervous and hysterical, I could not sleep because I thought the baby was dead from asthma. "
The first time I was like "Ok, it is a misunderstanding", but it has gotten worse each time I left the house. A few weeks ago I went out for coffee with a girlfriend and my husband told her as much. The next morning I got "I was so worried I could not sleep, why would you go out? Who was this girl you went out with?" To top it off, I have other family (she resides with her brother and sister) calling me and asking why I am worrying my poor grandmother. Ugh.
Today I called to ask if her power was put back on (that is the other thing, if I do not call in the face of any kind of emergency, whether I know about it or not, I get lectured for not calling). Her power is not back on. She complained about how her fridge is disgusting and flooded from all the ice they put in it. Duh, I mentioned how our new home has an ice box with tubes to drain water and how that would have worked out in an emergency like this. I was fielding calls from her brother asking me if my husband was forcing me into this life. If they took the time to get to know me, rather than control me, they would know what I want. He also said how much they worry about me (stop worrying), how if we move they can never visit us because we will be too far but you do not visit us now, I invited you to Posco's First Holy Communion and you did not come).
I love my family I do, but families can be such a source of agita.
I'm bored
I am supposed to be packing, but I do not know what to pack first. Books? Hubby said video tapes. Video tapes? Ok, whatever. I will be submissive and pack tapes because I do not know where to start packing anyway. It is times like these (well, usually anyway) when I can get into the wifely submission thing, because I am quite indecisive. It is a symptom of my perfectionism. "What if I pack the such and such too soon and we need it? What if I pack it wrong and it gets crunched?" The only problem with video tapes is I am secretly hoping for not enough electricity for the TV. Hubby wants the TV. For the most part, I figured God wired us on two ends of the extreme (me wanting to throw the whole TV out the window and Hubby wanting a big screen surround sound "entertainment system" and 900 cable channels) to meet somewhere in the middle? So I am submissive by allowing TV with cable that I periodically cut off. We usually end up with 6 months on, six months off.
No Lie
I was sitting here reading How to Live Without Electricity and Like It by Anita Evangelista, and the power went out! The very first chapter was on preparing for power outages. I felt it was almost my fault!
How could I raise my children if I were not Catholic?
There have been some significant events in my life as well as discussions that have had me reflecting on this question recently. Since we are moving to the country and will obtain a neighbor-free status, one of my brothers hinted at putting the children in school. I thought it over for about a second. I understand why my brother made the suggestion because I have had the same thoughts. The kids need to be occupied. I am hoping living in the country where they can run free and have a list of chores will remedy some of that. They also need some "normal" friends. I kind of agree with that too because the world is not comprised of Catholic homeschoolers, so exposing them to a variety of people makes sense. So there is the conundrum.
Sadly, none of you St.Bloggers with kids live anywhere near me. Oh no! You have to make life difficult by living off in the Washington area and California-except for Alicia the Midwife, but her kids are older. So here we are, public school types or homeschooling types.
In NJ, I was blessed to be surrounded by orthodox Catholics who happen to homeschool. We were blessed though because Fr. John [McCloskey] really set the tone and charism for orthodox Catholics in that area. Without strong leadership like that, things get weird.
So when I was thinking about my normal secular friends, I was thinking about how they reflect American culture. Many have some moral "stops", for example cheating on a spouse is wrong for the most part-yet I know people who have cheated for simply "falling out of love", murder is wrong-but abortion is OK in the light of a serious situation, drugs are bad-yet smoking weed for the most part is OK because "everyone does it" and it is "not a serious drug like crack". The biggest thing many people I know do that upsets me is lying. Please do not think I am being horribly judgmental, I am not. I think many people are not murderers or adulterers, but many will lose their souls and a chance for a more fulfilled life in the little things, and I am trying to protect my children from this school of thought.
Here is an example, I had a conversation yesterday about renting moving trucks:
Me: I am thinking we might rent a smaller truck for local delivery and make a few trips back and forth. That might be cheaper.
Other Person:Oh yeah, until you rack up the miles. Maybe you can take out the fuse [I forgot the exact word he used] to the odometer so they won't know.
Me: Um, no, that is like illegal and immoral.
Other Person: It is if you get caught.
I have conversations with people like this all the time. "White" lies are OK if they save money, so is "minor" theft. It seems that wrongdoing is not wrong unless you get caught. I am afraid of dropping my children in such a moral environment. Maybe I am being overly judgmental and scrupulous, but I think this type of thinking is more dangerous to our children than letting them read Harry Potter(to be honest, I think when you let the little things slide, that is when stuff like Harry Potter becomes a danger). I do not think I would see the difference were I not Catholic. I wish I did not have to be so extreme to get by in what my conscience tells me is right.
So Peony, when you were at the fair...
did you and Hambet devour one of those batter dipped and deep fried Oreos? I have seen those at two different fairs and to my husband I said "Would you look at those! How absurd, they must be a thousand calories each and I bet you can feel your arteries hardening when you eat them!" Inside I said "Mmmmm, batter dipped deep fried Oreo, aaaahhhhh"(think Homer Simpson). That will be our little secret-you, me and everyone else on the Internet.
Jeff Culbreath has posted a lovely picture of his beautiful wife and daughter, Amanda Jane.
I had to link to it because not only is it a lovely picture, but it is very appropriate for the Two Sleepy Mommy Mommy theme we got going on here.
Gregory Hines, may you rest in peace.
I know I am a day late on this, but I was not home yesterday.
I have always been a big Gregory Hines fan. Tap starring Hines as well as Sammy Davis Jr. and Savion Glover is an excellent movie, I recommend it if you get the chance to watch it.
I knew very little about his personal life, and I purposefully made a point of not finding out because there is nothing worse than being a fan of someone and finding out they are pro-choice or something. In the meantime, I was sad to hear of his passing, and I have been entertained by him for years.
May his soul and the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.
Peony, on obesity...
You made some excellent points. I know there are many different reasons why many people are overweight and I cannot judge them all. However, as a personal trainer and a Catholic, walking around each day, people I see have no concept of what a healthy portion size is and as Americans we lean towards overindulgence. It's like we have the right to eat until we are full because we can.
As a parent, I cannot tell you how often I see parents allow their children to eat until they are full, or allow their children to snack out of boredom. I am always the bad Mommy: "no, you cannot eat that, you ate, you are not hungry".
Your post was excellent. I could comment a great deal, but I do not want to be any more redundant than I already have been.
Well, We Are Moving to the Boonies
and I am so excited. Not exactly sure of the date yet. There is a bit of work that needs to be done to the house, like, um, well more electrical access. The house was built by Mennonites so there is little electricity to it. I told my husband I need enough for my washer because I am *not* going back to the laundromat like I did when we were first married. I need a fridge and most importantly of all, I need my computer. I have an unhealthy addiction to feed here-duh! We are just too funny. On top of the fact that I need a computer, my husband said we have to beg, borrow and steal for a cable modem. He can do with oil lamps, but he cannot return to dial-up. I bet you guys are so proud of how straight our priorities are.
Catholic Cults
I think I may end up leaving my Traditional Parish. It makes me very, very sad because I am so in love with the Traditional Latin Mass. The congregation is odd at best, cultish at worst. I recently have had first hand experience with Catholics who lie and refuse to take responsibility for their own children. This type of company I doubt is healthy for me.
As a result I attended a Novus Ordo Mass ala Albany this weekend. Ugh. The opening hymn-Gather Us In. *Groan* A homily about sexual prejudice. *Groan* Maybe I should move.
In the meantime many of the parishioners follow a priest (not from the TLM parish) who tells men it is more important to leave their families at home and pray in front of abortion clinics, and that wearing make-up and watching TV is evil. Um, none of this is Church teaching. But most of all he claims that in order to be a "real" Catholic, you have to prove it to him by praying in front of his abortion clinic and "real prolifers" are ones who get arrested-or so I have been told by one of his minions. I almost would report what is going on to the Bishop if we had a Catholic one.
I so have to thank Elinor Dashwood of Mommentary for coming to our defense, but my blog about how we must look like the Two Fat Ladies was meant to be humourous.
Elinor writes:
What brings this on is a comment posted on Moss Place in response to Pansy's concern that readers who noted their interest in recipes might think they were "two huge women who can fit into nothing but muumuus and who sit at the computer all day because entry out the front door is almost impossible." In other words, it's a slight variation on the quintessential wifely anxiety, or "Does this blog make me look fat?" Why should they care if it does? They have families, friends, responsibilities - why do they care if somebody out in cyberspace gets a mistaken impression about their appearance? Why would they care if that same hypothetical reader approved of their appearance or not? They write a damn fine blog - anyone who imagines that his opinion of their looks makes a dime's worth of difference one way or the other should dry up. I've no time for those Catholic men - and there are some - who profess to admire a woman's character, purity, generosity, and goodness, and also think it would be great if she had a hot bod. Stuff it, turkeys.
When people meet me, they find it funny that one of my favourite subjects is food, and Peony and I laugh because it is something we had in common. I apologise if it seemed a show of insecurity. It really was just a chuckle on how much the Two Sleepy Mommies love things food.
Is there a particular saint to pray to for discernment?
Yesterday we went to look at a house that someone mentioned was free out of the blue. Moving to the country was something we have always wanted to do for years now, but figured "we would someday". It is not a desire I have had until we moved to upstate NY. I am not sure if it is an age thing, a child rearing thing, or the fact that once you see how incredibly beautiful New York state is, you feel sad returning back to the city because you feel short changed.
We saw this house yesterday and it is a dream come true. Thirty acres to open the back door and say "boys"( remember I have three so far) "go outside and play". I cannot do that here in Albany. No neighbors complaining about how noisy we are, no teenage boys next door making nasty remarks about how he should "come over and visit me" because I had so many babies. This house would save us literally $375 a month in housing costs alone, and probably another $200 in heating costs a month. I could put my children in all the activities I wanted to with the extra denaro. My husband could go back to school 6 miles away instead of 40. Although he would be trading a 20 minute commute to work for a 50 minute one.
So what is the problem? Number one, I am afraid to make such a huge decision on the curtails of our marital problems. However, all the problems my husband was stressed about, or so he said, this literally takes care of them. Maybe that will help (so he can get some). Number two, I have been dying to move to the country, now that I may, this city girl is intimidated by the idea of having no neighbors.
It seems like a chance from God, but I just need to pray for discernment to know for sure.
Ooh, I just thought to ask you whether or not you have a recipe for pasteles boricua. Do you? Yumm! :op
Since you asked so nicely...Be patient with me, this is another recipe I have written down from watching...
Pastele Filling
3 pounds diced pork
2 large garlic cloves
3 cilantro leaves
3 recaio leaves (mortar together garlic, cilantro and recaio with 3 tablespoons annato oil)
1 medium onion diced
1 green pepper
2 tomatoes
1.5 jars drained olives and pimento
.75 of ham steak diced
salt
Cook all together-pork first, then add the rest of the ingredients and simmer for one hour. In the meantime start the dough.
Pasteles Dough
4 green bananas
2 plantains
2 medium-large potatoes
Peel and puree vegetables in a food processor until well blended-peel plantains separately. Use a small amount of milk to moisten. Add some annato oil to give it some colour (.5 a cup olive oil and .25 a cup of annato achiote in a small pan and simmer 10-15 minutes until colour is released and cool completely).
Have one can of chick peas drained and separate.
Take a piece of pastele paper or banana leaves, rub a small amount of annato oil on it. Put a tablespoon (serving size) of dough mixture and spread as thin as possible. The add two tablespoons of the meat mixture. Add like 3 or 4 chick peas. Fold paper or leaf over so the dough covers the meat. Fold paper up like a burrito and wrap with another leaf or tie with a string. To cook, boil for an hour (or freeze at this point and boil later). I am not lying, my recipe says here "serve with rice and gandules".
Puerto Rican Arroz con Gandules (Rice with Pigeon Peas)
This is one of the staple dishes in the Upstate NY Moss household. It is not a dish I grew up with, but rather my husband did. When I was a newlywed I had my mother in law make it while I watched and wrote down everything she did so I would be able to make it for my husband. Normally I nor my mother in law make this dish with measurements, but I wrote it inmeasurement form in order to have it in print. I personally add ingredients to taste. The only problem is my sense of flavour and the authentic Puerto Rican dish do not mesh-in other words I like to either add hot peppers or simply smother it with hot sauce on my plate. I also do things like make it without the chorizo or tosino (fat back) and make a vegetarian dish, or even add some vegetable instead. I also use brown rice, but short grain and a bit more water.
Anyway, I could still use prayers, things are still not so hot, so I am drowning my sorrows in talking about food. That is always great for a pick me up!
4 cups white rice (preferably long grain)
5 cups water
1 can gandules verdes (pigeon peas)
4 tbsp olive oil
1 small chopped onion
1 small green pepper
5 small sweet peppers (small peppers that look like scotch bonnets, but are not hot)
1.5 packets of Sazon seasoning
8 recaio leaves, chopped with stems removed (flavour similar to cilantro)
2 or 3 chorizo sausage
2 tbsp stuffed green olives
.5 tsp chopped garlic
.25 cups sofrito or recaito (you can find it jarred in the Goya section-I prefer recaito)
.50 cup tomato sauce
.50 tsp oregano
.25 tsp black pepper
2 tsp adobo
In a large saucepan or rice pot, heat oil. When oil is hot, saute onions, then add peppers, recaio leaves and chorizo. Saute until chorizo is brown. Add olives, garlic, sofrito, sazon and tomato sauce. add rinsed rice and water. add black pepper, oregano and adobo.
When rice absorbs some of the water and starts to simmer, lower flame to simmer and cover. When rice is dry, it';s finished. Serves 8-10 and recipe can be cut.
Who are the Two Sleepy Mommies?
When Peony and I first met our first conversation was about food. I think the first thing she said was "so, what's the Iron Chef cooking tonight?" It was soon after I coined the phrase "men love women who give them food". This theme (food lovers) seems to have been common in our blog (if you haven't noticed).
It occured to me that our readers must picture us as two huge women who can fit into nothing but mumus and who sit at the computer all day because entry out the front door is almost impossible. Two women who type with one hand, hold a haunch of some type of game in the other hand and TYPE and CHOMP...
Woohoo!
I got surprise bling-bling from Uncle Sam in the mail today. Gosh, what a materialistic and shallow mood picker-upper!
If you did not get yours yet, you can check here for the status of your Advance Child Tax Credit.
A Slice [of pizza] a Day Keeps Cancer Away!
The combination of cooked tomatoes and olive oil make the traditional Italian pizza a possible miracle food.
Reasearsher in Italy have found that regular pizza eaters had.
34% less risk of oral cancer
25% percent risk of colon cancer
We think that there is a specific compound in cooked tomatoes that is protective.”Says Silvano Gullus, PhD.
So my diet needs more pizza! Ha ha!!!
I make pizza dough in the bread machine. I make some in advance to keep in the freezer too. I have had a problem making pizza dough in muggy weather, so I am glad to have some in advance.
As for the sauce, I make it like I make my regular gravy, I just season it with oregano instead of basil, for example.
I am actually making pizza (with soy cheese) for lunch today, but I am cheating with store bought pizza dough. We have an Italian bakery down the street that sells only Italian bread and balls of pizza dough for .80 cents.
Welcome Veronika Therese Souzek!!!! She is soooo beautiful!!!
My husband came home this morning
I wanted to thank you all for the prayers. This type of problem is really embarrassing to put on such a public forum but I have such incredibly high regard for the people of St. Blogs. You guys are Catholics like none I know in real life (except my immediate family who are considered really weird). You guys are funny, down to earth so faithful and I knew you would storm heaven with prayers on our behalf and offer gentle, kind words of encouragement. Of course you guys delivered. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I do not think we are in any way out of the woods yet, but it says something that he is here. I can think a little clearer and not exist from panic attack to panic attack.
Dark Night of the Soul
A few minutes ago I heard my husband's key in the door. I heard his footsteps come into the bedroom. "Your home," I said and my husband told me "I'm so sorry"...and I woke up. So here I am, up at 1.57 am blogging because I do not know what else to do.
Very often I would get annoyed when I would hear people whose lives were less than perfect poo-pooh the Church. In my housewife circles it is usually from women who are ticked off at God for having a child with disabilities and/or who does not want more children as a result and hates the Church teachings on birth control. I, who loves the Church teachings on marital theology, would go on about how Our Lady at Fatima said she cannot promise us happiness in this life, but in the next, and about why the teaching on birth control is so lovely. I suppose I lacked charity.
Right now I am wondering where God is. I am hurting so much, I am daydreaming about any activity to make the pain stop: getting drunk, getting high, getting dolled up and finding some guy to charm and hang onto my every word and tell me all the wonderful things I need my husband to be here telling me. I will not do those things, but not out of moral sensibilities or because any of that is a mortal sin but plain and simply because I have children here who need me, who need me to be as stable and present as opposed to absent as possible. I am a little afraid of my sick reasoning right now. No, very afraid because if my children were not here, I would be doing some or all of those activities.
I am starting to wonder where God is. I have been praying and making novenas from the first moment my husband's behaviour became "odd" to no avail. Yesterday I asked my father the deacon why God is not answering my prayers? Marriage is a sacrament showering us with graces, we attend Church, we have Holy water in the house, we are open to life, how is this happening? My father said that I do not know that God is not answering my prayers and the fact is my husband has free will. Whatever, I thought. So he has free will, so there is no point of praying right? It is just starting to feel like the Church is a made up institution like all the homosexuals in the media of late want us to believe. Although I think a necessary one to truly keep us in the direction we should go in, but I am wondering if the Mystical God part behind it is real. I am starting to think not. Like that "he has free will" thing is the answer people pull out to logically prove God is there when He is not.
It is Sunday morning and in a few hours I have to get the children up to go to Church. I am not sure where we will go or when. I cannot bear the idea of going by myself with the four children, especially the two youngest who are quite rowdy. Something we did as a family with routine and stability. Now it will be a supreme chore, and I am not sure how to get through it. I do not want to go. How childish is that? What a big baby I am being and I cannot get out of my own emotions and tunnel vision. If God is real after all, why would I even take the chance of denying myself the graces? The only thing that will get me to Church later is the "if" because I am not sure of anything anymore.
I would not wish this on my worst enemy
You know I must be desperate to be broadcasting this on a weblog, but I am. My husband who prior to June 22 was my flesh and blood, my love, my best friend, partner and other half has left me with no explanation besides "he cannot stand to be around me". He cannot "stand to look at me" he told me. How beautiful does a woman feel when her husband cannot stand the sight or her? My children are wondering when Dad is coming home. I have no idea what happened.
I think I have had the nightmare a few times when my husband would say "you, why would I love you" and I would cry in my sleep. My husband would wake me up when he heard me cry and tell me that my dream was silly. Now I am not waking up and God doesn't seem to be hearing my prayers...
Pansy and Peony: The Two Sleepy Mommies
