Fruitless Complaining: January 2007 Archives

Why does this bother me? I knew it would happen. I expected it, yet I am still surprised. I sent my grandmother some of the pictures from the Baptism because she couldn't make the trip ("Oh Pansy, I can't come! I am too sick!"). She said it: "Oh Pansy, I can't believe all the weight you gained! Your father said you look good, but I couldn't get over it!" Lady, please, get over it. I know I am not Gisele Bundchen, but dang! Who the heck tells a woman with a 4-week old baby how startled they are by her weight gain? Isn't that in line with telling a nine-year old who just lost their parents in a car accident "Sucks to be you! Christmas just won't be the same from now on, huh?"

I am in good company. She said "Oh, your father, my son, he looks like such a natural born priest in those pictures. Too bad he's not a priest, just a deacon."

I don't know why she gets to me so much, it's always the same ole, same ole. Oddly, the more I know how she will react, the more it irritates me.

My husband is flying out of town this afternoon to attend a funeral. I'm packing his suitcase, and, since it's the first time either of us has flown since 2004, I'm checking out the carry-on baggage rules at the airline and the TSA website.

So let me make sure I'm understanding this correctly: If my husband wants to carry a tube of toothpaste in his carry-on luggage, it has to be a mini-tube. Can't be a regular tube that's half full; has to be a mini-tube . And the shampoo has to be a minibar size as well. (Good thing I'm sending the electric razor so I don't have to figure out how to pack the can of shaving cream.)

And this micro-toiletries have to be packed in a quart-size ziplock bag. Not gallon. Not pint. Quart.

And he will have to remove the quart-size bag, and place it in the tray with his shoes and keys.

And if he does not follow these instructions, he might be exhibiting suspicious behavior.

But if he refuses to take his assigned seat, and instead demands that he and his friends be given seats that aren't all together but just happen to be in strategic positions throughout the cabin, and requests safety equipment that he doesn't need but that could potentially be used as a weapon, then he is a victim, and those thuggish, bigoted pilots and airline crew need to get over their lyin' bigoted eyes and go to sensitivity school.

Yeah, I so believe the government takes my safety seriously.