Fruitless Complaining: July 2008 Archives

Warning: This is nothing but a personal, bitter rant probably induced by hormones as a means of self-therapy. I know I have been doing a lot of that lately, but I think blogging keeps me saner in real life.

Here is a great example on Baby Boomer commentary in regard to Humane Vitae. This comes via The Curt Jester.

This paragraph is so typical of ANYTHING written on ANY topic by that generation:

The baby boomers recall vividly the Vietnam War Tet offensive in January; the April assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.; the Paris Peace talks and riots in May; the June assassination of Sen. Robert Kennedy; and the August protest riots in Chicago at the Democratic convention among nation-shaping events that year.

Gosh, I don't know why mankind just simply didn't stop right after that generation since they achieved perfection. Hell, they had the Kennedy's. How can anyone compete after that? (Yes, sacrcasm).

For all their blubber about social justice and polling on "true life experience in regard to birth control", have they even stopped and looked at what is going on in friggin' China? Nope, because they know better that Paul VI about social justice. After all, he was only the Vicar of Christ. This isn't about experience, this generation were too busy "living their lives" to be parents, and now 832 years later, they are too busy living their lives to be grandparents. Out of four, living Baby Boomer grandparents, my children will never know what it really like to have one true, Grandma type like I or my husband did. Every kid I knew from my generation was practically raised by their grandparents. Our parents were too busy to spend any weekends, vacations, or holidays with us, and were told what a burden we were when we had to be home on weekdays. Now they are post-menopausal and still kvetshn because they have grandchildren who come to visit.

Stop whining about your personal injustices, 40 years of that is enough. If you are Catholic, be Catholic. If you believe in God and feel that He gave us the Catholic Church to help us know what the heck to do, then believe He gave us the Church to direct us. Period. That means no birth control. Look at it in reverse, if you believe the Church is mistaken about birth control, then yo believe the Church has no idea what it is talking about. How can it be reliable on any topic? If that is the case, why be Catholic at all? Well, trusting Humane Vitae means truly appreciating the people in your lives as gifts. And why not? What else is there? For all the "I should have aborted you" Baby Boomers, and "whew I did my time" Baby Boomers, and the " When I was small, I always wanted a little girl...until I had you." Baby Boomers (my mother imparted that gem to me when I was 8), I wonder how the grass would have been so incredibly greener on the other side. Why does it take so much more energy to love your kids than it does to complain, complain, complain about having them. (Yes, I am bitter as my kids will never know what it is to have a Grandma that bakes with them giving them mini-rolling pins and mini-baking pans, or a Grandpa that takes them to the park and pushes them on the swing for hours because he adores spending time with them. However, my children will never have a parent telling them they should have been aborted.)

[/rant]

Hey, in more important news that we all can relate to, Ryan Seacrest was bitten by a shark.

Good Quote

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And whining every few hours in the Facebook status block is not enough. The other night I was gagging through doing dishes. It was after supper, which always means I am sicker than before I ate. I break out into sweats, the fatigue worsens, and the nausea just doubles. So here I am expending every ounce of energy I have to get through the dishes and please, please hold down supper. Rosey Posey was at my side yakking about the imperative need to have her hair put in dredlocks right away. I nodded and "uh huhed" through the conversation paying close attention to the task at hand until I heard a chorus of "Mom? Mom? Mom? Can't you do it? Can't you do it right away? I read it doesn't have anything to do with not washing? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?" to which I answered "Rosey Posey, please..."

To that she stomped off and tattled on me to her father. What was my dear, and understanding husband's reply? "Don't worry, Mommy's moods will even out in another month." What the? My "mood". For crying out loud, this is kid number 7 and after all this time he still thinks this is nothing more than a grumpy spell?

Is there a man out there who "gets" morning sickness? Is there anyone for that matter? How is it every time I go to the OB/Gyn office, they lecture me about eating right. Now mind you prior to having morning sickness, I worked out an hour five days a week, I had no trouble gobbling meals of brown rice and steamed vegetables. Yet I go to the doctor's office, step on the scale and get a reproachful look from the nurse: "you gained 5 pounds". The doctor's reply is always the same, she writes out a scrip to send me to a nutritionist because I obviously need a crash course on the basics of the four food groups. I explain "I am so sick, and my mouth fills up with saliva and it is so gross. The only relief I get is when I eat and the only food I can stomach are cheeseburgers. And I cannot work-out because I only have so much energy. I tried, I walked two miles the other day and I couldn't keep my eyes open for the rest of the day like I was drugged." He/she looks at me and nods as if to say "Silly little Hispanic lady," (remember I have brown hair, therefore I am Hispanic) "we know how you love soda and Kool-Aid and are making excuses for your tons of bad lifestyle habits!"* , and hands me the dang scrip. Aaaaahhhhh!!!

Now tell me, am I alone? Am I the only one who has been in this doctor's office complaining of morning sickness? Am I the only person who finds relief in eating, and despite knowledge of the difference between a good diet and a bad one, can only choke down a few cheese fries? Am I the only one who gags while brushing their teeth to the point that when it is time, you pace in front of the bathroom to gear yourself up to finally brush? Also, if you don't you will be gagging because of the taste in your mouth. Or do you have to keep a mask on with some kind of fresh smell to keep from being overwhelmed by the smell of, well, everything? Am I the only one who gets up in the morning, has enough energy to put clothes on, and that's it. Energy supply spent.Then I sit at the dining room table with my head down hoping to get the energy to fold an item of clothing, or fix the next meal or something else I need to do. Is anyone else totally thirsty all the time, but water seems to burn going down?

Please someone tell me I am not alone because I feel like I am losing, my. freakin'. mind. I am like completely dysfunctional. Yes, I know this will pass and it always does, but it does not last for a day, it lasts like 10 weeks. Do you know what a house with four boys six kids looks like after ten weeks of a useless Mommy? Hint: it ain't pretty and I hope no one knocks on my door.

And the "expert advice": "eat saltines", "don't drink while eating", "don't lie down", "go exercise", "don't eat fried food", "don't eat vegetables". C'mon now, where is the advice for the real human beings? Admit it, ya'll don't know what ya'll be talking about, so you just had to write something on the subject to keep the 'expert" credentials.

I have been spending an inordinate amount of time on the computer lately because it has me sitting up in the living room (as opposed to lying on my bed) and at least looking at the kids like I am a responsible parent or something. Reading, sewing, all the relaxing hobbies I love and could be doing, make me nauseous.

Rant over, I think...Please if there are any commiserating Mommies reading this, let me know I am not alone.

*I have no idea if that is what the doctor is thinking, but when I am this miserable and the doctor is "hmmm"ing me about a subject they are supposed to know a thing or two about, all kinds of evil and crazy conclusions enter my mind.

Who'd Thunk?

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News flash: having the Olympics in Beijing really is turning out to be a bad idea. First there is the fact that they are um, Communist, then there's that disgusting One Child Policy complete with forced abortions, their disproportionate capital punishment rates, they eat cats and dogs. And guess what? They hate black people too. OK, I know the last one seems almost laughable compared to the other crimes against humanity, yet it seems like the one people might stand up and notice the most.

Seriously though, why do we do as much business as we do with them? This country is a like a delicious sundae of immoral joy. Every opportunity people try to give them to prove "hey China is not that disgusting, they say "yeah we are, watcha gonna do about it?"

Well nothing apparently. We just continue to support them economically.

You know it's funny, 15 years ago, after I had my first, I would have considered myself the go-to person for advice. I loved going to Mom's groups and talking shop, being able to share my tidbits of information that I have learned with other new Moms in exchange for their pieces of knowledge describing things like how to get a shower each day. We would commiserate over the prospects of never seeing a movie again or what to do with a toddler in a restaurant (of course you pack a cooler full of healthy finger-foods and you walk around with them instead of sitting any enjoying your meal). Or we would offer opinions about the latest study that suggested you should never put footwear on a pre-walking baby, even in winter else you stunt their development due to sensory deprivation. Or how tofu was one of the best first finger foods to give. Ohmygosh, I don't think I could have stood to be around me. I can't imagine sitting around talking boring baby/toddler crap for more than 5 minutes, let alone picking up another issue Parenting Magazine to find out what I might have missed. You know, the rules are so simple: don't give them raw meat (especially before they get teeth), get some vegetables into them, keep them clean, try to deter them from eating dirt and garbage and I don't know, hug them as much as possible (seriously, that's the most important).

In retrospect, I get it. Changing from not having children to having children is huge. People have no idea until they each do it themselves. Your life is totally turned upside-down and inside-out. With your first, if you were a person who dressed nicely and wore earrings, now you wear sweats because you never leave the house, are covered in spit up and earrings are gone because the baby pulls on them. Who knew? So it makes sense to think you learned a thing or two by undergoing this complete transformation.

Here's the weird part: while I would have stepped forward with advice on how to get baby to sleep 14 years ago, today and 6 or 7 (I lost count) kids later, I'd be the first to admit I don't know what the heck I'm doing. After 14 years of reading ,Dr. Sears, Dr. Brazelton, Dr. Mendelsohn, and Dr. Spock; subscriptions to Parents, Child, and Parenting Magazines (the last I have not renewed a subscription to in 6 years, yet I keep getting it with "This is your last issue" notices), you think I would have picked something up. (With the periodicals, the same advice gets recycled over and over again, much of it contradictory One month it will be "Well Baby Visits: Are They Necessary" and an article condemning parents who miss them as neglectful and 4 months later it will be "Well Baby Visits: How Necessary Are They?" stating that being late for one or two when a child is obviously healthy is not going to hurt anyone. 8 months later, it's back to the original "a child's life depends on well baby visits" article.) Seriously, of course I have, but every new child has both given me confidence and thrown my confidence for a loop. Every child is so different and some of the experience you gained from child #2, you might as well ball it up and throw it out because you will never need what you learned there again.

So here I am with pregnancy number 7 wondering if anyone would like to offer their 2 cents on how to survive morning sickness. People are probably thinking "Hey Lady, if you don't know, who does?", but I don't think I have ever been this sick and dysfunctional before. Maybe I have been, and was so grateful when it was over that I never looked back. But this is hard! i have so much crap to do and I can only get one or two things out of twenty done before my body shuts down. I try hard to one more task, and I am paying for it big time with ten times the nausea. But for example, I have never been this sick with 6 kids, 3 of which eat adult value meals at McDonald's and gas nearly $5 a gallon, therefore making blowing off cooking supper for one a financial impossibility. So you see, the rules are constantly changing.

And my kids, ohmygosh, what annoying little buggers! It never occurred to me how much I have to keep on their little behinds (and how much physical energy that exerted) to do their chores. Now I haven't got the energy to do anything more than "Posco, clean the kitty litter, Posco, clean the kitty litter..." and of course that isn't enough to ensure it gets done. And requesting for help beyond their regular chore roster only incites yelling at the younger one under them for doing nothing to help...yet nothing still gets done. One rule is no video games during the day, no TV until chores are done (during the school year, no games during the week period and TV for evening shows). Every time I turn around, these buggers are turning on games and the fight starts "No games until... (insert what needs to be done)" which elicits one of two responses: "Oh, ok, I didn't know" or "Why not? That's not fair!" Yet, after I yell a few times they win out because I am too queasy to keep yelling, I have a constant migraine, and my thoughts are constantly occupied with finding new ways of breathing without smelling anything in the world.

So any advice on dealing with morning sickness, tying up kids, getting boosts of energy with pregnancy fatigue, bending the wills of little people to do your bidding (mwoo ha ha ha), telling teenagers to just get dressed already, keeping a house running clean and smooth when you can't get up and do anything, would be most appreciated.

Anyone heard this?

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I know these are rumors that may or may not have truth. People talk about what's on their minds, and everything is like the game of telephone. Who knows? But the latest buzz is milk is going up to $5 a gallon (but of course this is from my family in the Westchester/NYC area, so perhaps that is not so far fetched as it's like $4 something a gallon there now) and by next summer gas will be $7 a gallon.

Wow, I mean why bother even trying to survive anymore. Or maybe I can be creative with my budget to eliminate traveling (I'll tell my husband to quit working tomorrow) and eating. Ha ha, food, that silly luxury. Didn't many of the saints fast indefinitely? Then we should be straight.

OK, sorry for the sarcasm. I felt I had to do that.


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