I have been struggling with frustration in matters great and small. Why won't my garden grow? Why can't we have another baby? Why can't we get ahead of the home repairs? Why won't my two-year-old play with his toys instead of my mixer and kitchen knives? Why can't I find any local SAHM chums "in real life?" Why is our parish singing this pseudo-Broadway stuff instead of chant? Why is The DaVinci Code a bestseller? Why can't I break these bad habits of mine -- procrastination, carrying grudges, allowing myself to be a captive of regret? Why am I skimming ten lightweight books at once (curiositas) instead of slowly, carefully reading one book at a time and actually learning something (studiositas)?
It is this way with miracles of grace: when confronted by deficiencies which seem... too lofty or difficult, the Lord asks of us a special kind of effort. On the one hand, this attitude consists in confidence in him, shown by having recourse to the supernatural means available. On the other, it consists in doing what we can, listening to what He tells us in the intimacy of our prayers or through spiritual direction...We do this by performing small acts of the virtue we are seeking to acquire, taking small steps toward the goal we wish to reach. If we concentrate on what we are doing, God does wonders through our seemingly small efforts. If the man with the withered hand had placed his reliance on his own previous experience rather than on the word of the Lord, he might not have done the little our Lord asked of him, and perhaps would have spent the rest of his life with his disability uncured. Virtues are formed day by day. Sanctity is forged by being faithful in details, in everyday things, in actions which might seem irrelevant if not vivified by grace." -- F. Fernandez, In Conversation with God, 4-94.
