I allude, of course, to Burger King's new corporate policy, which states clearly that mothers who nurse their babies at BK will not be harassed, and that other diners who claim to be offended by the sight of a baby being nourished by the means designed by God will be invited to sit in another spot in the restaurant.
The policy was announced after an incident in a Utah BK on November 8, in which a mother nursing her baby was asked to either nurse in the restroom or leave the restaurant. In giving her that choice, the manager of the restaurant was breaking Utah law, which states a business "may not prohibit a woman's breast-feeding in any location where she otherwise may rightfully be, irrespective of whether the breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breast-feeding." (Nineteen other states have similar laws.)
But it seems like many people think BK made the wrong decision. I first heard about the policy over the weekend, when a local talk show host desperate for some calls was braying "so does this mean she can WHIP IT OUT whenver she wants?" The phrase "WHIP IT OUT" makes me see red, so I changed the channel before I drove the car off the road.
Now I see that Michelle has picked up the topic and reiterates her lack of sympathy for nursing in public (much more politely, of course, than the talk show host.)
Let me first issue my standard disclaimer: Babies have a right to be fed. Nursing babies have a right to nurse. Nursing mothers have the right to nurse their babies, including in public. Nursing mothers have the responsibility to make a reasonable effort to avoid overexposure. I don't care what they do in Scandinavia, nobody wants to see (warning!) this. ("Helsekost" means "health food;" this was a public service announcement.)
But really, is that what we're talking about? I wish that people who dislike nursing in public would be more clear what exactly makes them so uncomfortable. Is it mothers who overexpose themselves out of lack of concern for the feelings of others? Then I'm with them on that point; nursing mothers should be polite just like everyone else.
But the vast majority of nursing mothers are not "whipping" anything out, and are not interested in overexposing themselves. In the Burger King case, the mother was nursing her baby under her sweater. With a little practice, most moms can easily use clothing, slings, and blankets to preserve their modesty while nursing a baby. Check out these photos (scroll down to the bottom) from the Elizabeth Lee website to see what I mean (warning, text alludes to sewing, nursing, shopping, bargain-hunting, and other estrogen-soaked topics.) Are these mothers really invading anyone else's visual privacy? When I talk about nursing a baby in public, that's what I mean.
Is the sight of a woman nursing a baby offensive, even if nothing's showing? Is the mere fact that a breast is in use offensive? Is a nursing mother supposed to just stay home all the time, then, in case the baby might get hungry while she's out and can't find a place to hide?
Michelle wonders "....why anyone would need to breastfeed in a public restaurant anyway. Certainly doing so is going to hinder your own eating, which is the point of restaurants. Couldn't you feed the baby before going out to forage in fast-food establishments for your own nourishment?"
Why would one need to breastfeed in a restaurant? Perhaps because the baby is hungry? Nursing hindering your own eating? Welcome to motherhood! (although one of the nice things about nursing is that, if the baby cooperates, you can feed the baby and still have a free hand to eat, type, manage other children, etc) As for pre-feeding, that's not always an option -- you can't force a nursing baby to eat when he's not hungry. Or you could feed the baby before you go in the restaurant, but find that he's still hungry or thirsty once you get inside.
Let's say you're a mom with a nursling and a couple of older children. You've been running errands and are still a long drive from home; maybe you're travelling. Your baby fell asleep in the car, and your older children fed in a hurry because they're hungry and crabby (and come to think of it, you're getting hungry too.) So you feed the older kids, get a bite to eat yourself, and turn the older ones loose to burn off some energy in the ball pit. By now, the baby's waking up from his car-induced slumber and is ready to eat. What do you do? Let the baby scream in hunger while you round up the disappointed siblings, stuff their feet into their shoes and their arms into their coats, and drag them out to the cold car where they just sit there while you feed the baby, twisting yourself behind the steering wheel? Or turn your back to the restaurant, get the baby started, arrange your sweater so nothing's showing, and feed the baby while the other kids play?
I suspect most nursing mothers prefer to find as private a place as possible to nurse, both to avoid attracting unwanted attention ("eeew, that's gross, can't you go sit on the john, tie up the stall for fifteen minutes, and feed your baby there?") and to get a little rest and quiet themselves. But it's not always easy to find a nice, private place. Nordstrom's and IKEA are the only stores I can think of that have mother's rooms. And then what if there are other people with you? Maybe you'd like spend your time out with them, to enjoy that nice dinner with your husband at the table you're paying good money to sit at.
This is a life issue. Pope Pius XII stated that "it is more desirable that the mother should feed her child at her own breast", and Pope John Paul II has also warmly encouraged breastfeeding, noting that nursing mothers need "support." How do we show support to nursing mothers by chasing them out of public places when they try to feed their babies? One of the reasons women don't breast-feed is that they think they'll be tied down at home all the time. They hear people moaning about how unreasonable BK is being, and think they're going to be harassed if they go out to run their errands or get some lunch and find that they need to nurse their baby. It contributes to the idea that babies are troublesome and unwelcome, and that motherhood is drudgery and an end to normal life.
Michelle notes that BK's new policy states that if a customer complains about a breastfeeding mother, the complaining customer is to be offered another place to eat in the restaurant. Michelle's comment: "Ah, the old "If you don't like it, it's your problem" argument. How enlightened and mature; the perfect example for young children."
So instead, BK should offer that same argument ("If you don't like nursing in the john or leaving the restaurant, that's your problem") to a mother who wants to feed her baby?
Pope John Paul II again:
"Even this brief reflection on the very individual and private act of a mother feeding her infant can lead us to a deep and far-ranging critical rethinking of certain social and economic presuppositions, the negative human and moral consequences of which are becoming more and more difficult to ignore. Certainly, a radical re-examination of many aspects of prevailing socio-economic patterns of work, economic competitiveness and lack of attention to the needs of the family is urgently necessary."