I just finished Unassisted Childbirth by Laura Kaplan Shanley. It was not exactly what I was looking for. I was looking for something in terms of a practical how to because I have very quick labors and I would like to be prepared if I do not make it to the hospital. This book was more of the "why's" against hospital births, although she is preaching to the choir. I have never had a homebirth, but would love one. I am not having one because the lay midwives are all too far away to come here to assist. I have quick easy labors. The only parts of any of my birth experiences that were traumatic were when the staff would not just leave me alone coupled by the lack of privacy. So she does not have to go far to convince me that being in the comfort and privacy of your home would be so much more preferable.
Aside from the lack of more practical info, my other critique is there were at least two chapters of New Agey suggestions of affirmations and thinking yourself to a quick and painless labor. I have little patience for New Age stuff. I also have little patience for both her and Dr. Bradley's attitude that labor does not hurt. I think labor can be enjoyable despite the pain, and having the right atmosphere and attitude can cut down on the pain, and even that some women experience more pain than others. But I think the idea that labor really does not hurt, but it is programmed into our subconscious by a malecentric society is a fallacy. If that were the case, it simply would not hurt. Why not program that eating ice cream is very painful? Why childbirth? Besides, the Bible states:
To the woman he said:
I shall give you intense pain
you will give birth to your children
in pain.
Genesis 3:16
She was pregnant, and in labour, crying aloud in the pangs of childbirth.
Revelation 12:2
So that is what scripture says and that overrides Ms. Shanley and Dr. Bradley in my book.
All that aside, as simply as a childbirth preparation book, I found the attitude of this book much more refreshing than Lamaze and Dr. Bradley who I thought were both full of bologna. Even though the book was about unassisted childbirth, there was a certain perspective that I think can be brought to any birth situation. I mean all these methods are take what will work for you and leave the rest, it is just annoying how militant they are about their particular perspective. Although I think I found Dr. Bradley the most annoying. I don't think many husbands really like being the coach person and I liked Laura Shanley's perspective that childbirth is ultimately about the mother and baby and no one else. Emotionally, if there is anyone else involved, it certainly is about the husband, but it doesn't have to be if no one is really feelin' that.
Anyway, if you are expecting I recommend this book even if you are not planning an unassisted or even homebirth. Actually especially if you are having a hospital birth because it will help you focus on a good birth plan and decide what you want out of your birth experience.
The book you actually need is Dr. Greg White's Emergency Childbirth. Dr. White was a devout Catholic, a home birht physician, and the husband of one of the founding moms of La Leche League. It is the most practical and respectful book I have read on what to do if the baby arrives The Joy of Natural Childbirth (Later editions). It specifically addresses the fact that the Hebrew word 'etzev'(Genesis 3:16-19) is translated hard work when applied to the man's work of bringing forth food from the ground, but translated pain and suffering when applied to the woman's work of giving birth. The King James actually does one of the better jobs of translation here - it translates 'Etzev" as "sorrow" in both cases. The vulgate translates etzev as dolore for Eve, laboribus/tribulos for Adam.
I am not saying that labor and birth is easy or necessarily painless. Plowing a field by hand and planting, weeding, etc is not easy or painless either! But the woman's work of labor should not, in normal circumstances, be harder than the man's work of tilling the soil. Women have time to prepare for the work of giving birth, just as men have time to prepare for the work of providing sustenance. Labor is physically demanding, and most of us are not in good physical shape for its demands. How many men do you know that could get our there and till a field by hand these days, for that matter!
Normal labor should not be excruciatingly painful. If labor is excruciating in a prepared woman, that may be an indication that there is something wrong that needs an intervention.
I personally am opposed to unattended childbirth - midwifery is one of the first 'professions' mentioned in the Bible, and if the Hebrew women (who were known for giving birth quickly and easily) had midwives, that is a good enough recommendation for me, and was so even before I became a midwife.
I flirted with the idea of UC for future births if my last had gone without complication, or maybe for #4 or something. I think I was mostly stressed out late in the pregnancy about everything surrounding the birth except the upcoming labor and birth themselves, so hanging out in a tree for the whole thing was a nice introvert fantasy (my labor didn't really kick in until nighttime when not only was my toddler out of the house, but my husband and monitrice were napping.)
But even though laboring at home was pretty much as I expected, only more painful, even if it had ended smoothly I would not fantasize about UC again. I just don't think either my husband or myself could have done even minimal monitoring or decision-making very well without help in that situation. I was very glad to have two competent attendants.
Pansy, I read Hearts and Hands by Elizabeth Davis, and although I leant my copy away years ago, I remember it left a very favorable impression on me. Of course my problem is just the opposite of yours - overdue, long, long labors, last one with a major problem...but still reading a lot helped me through those situations.
I'm going to pick up that book Alicia recommended. Sounds like a good one.
I am troubled by the attitude on Laura Shanley's website about birth complications: "Some babies die. It's nature's way." Yeah, some babies die. But my guess is that a large proportion of the deaths and injuries that happen with unassisted childbirth are preventable.
My homebirth was one of the most amazing experiences of my life and I'm hoping to do it again, but I wouldn't go unassisted on purpose. (Since I'll be excited if I get down to a single-digit number of hours of labor this time, with my fourth birth, you know precipitous birth isn't my problem.) Just FWIW, there were about five minutes of pain in my 15-hour homebirth with a 9#12 baby. It wasn't easy, but it rarely hurt.
Anyway -- I'm glad Alicia had a more practical comment since I am just rambling on here. Hope Dr. White's book is helpful to you.
I haven't read his book, but I would trust Dr. White completely! He delivered my dear friend's eight siblings, all at home. For years, whenever I met someone who had a homebirth, Dr. White was their doctor. An incredibly gentle, gracious man, and awesome doctor, from everything I have heard. Good luck! :)
Sorry, but both of my labours hurt, and my last one hurt a lot, so much that even with all the natural pain control methods, I nearly passed out several times. I even felt the pain throuh the epidural they eventually gave me, after about 30 hours of labour, 4 of them transition.
I have a malformed pelvis (the cartilege does not soften during pregnancy, like most women's, and the opening is quite small), so that probably adds to the pain factor. I needed a c-section with both children because of the malformation, but tried labour with both.
But, I digress. My point is: why shouldn't child birth be painful? What's wrong with feeling pain, anyway, if the cause is not life-threatening? I think the pain is an enormous gift from God.
No, I'm not a masochist. But I've found the pain allows tremendous personal insight into Christ's crucifixtion and suffering. He gives me these gifts only in labour -- it's the only thing that hurts enough to even compare to His pain.
During the last labour, when my water broke, the image of the blood and water from His side came immediately to mind -- how it was the birth waters of the souls of the redeemed.
Now, don't get me wrong -- I didn't enjoy it, and am still frightened by my last labour. But I'm still very grateful for the experience, especially since I am never allowed to try for a vaginal delivery again. The rest of my children will have to be born via c-section, and that is something I am NOT looking forward to, let me tell you!
But, I digress. My point is: why shouldn't child birth be painful? What's wrong with feeling pain, anyway, if the cause is not life-threatening? I think the pain is an enormous gift from God.
I agree with this. While my most painful labours have been the one that they would not let me be in any position but lying on my back and the one they induced. The waterbirth hurt significantly less, but still hurt and I use this as an opportunity to get souls out of purgatory.