I am moving to a deserted island where people can cease to annoy me

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Fredegar had his first dental appointment yesterday. It was actually quite cute because he refused to open his mouth. The cute wasn't the non-mouth opening, it was that typical baby confusion when confronted with something completely new. I never get tired of that. He didn't fuss or complain, and the dental hygenist gave him a new toothbrush and tried very hard to get him to open, and he did for a few seconds under protest.

I watched him knowing what was going through his little mind. He was ticked off. First I woke him up early (the appointment was at 8 AM), and he, like RoseyPosey and my husband are not morning people. So that annoyed him. Then he had these weird people trying to see his teeth. The situation looked a lot like when the vet tries to look at a dog's teeth, and all you get is a glimpse of a canine and a gum because all the dog will allow is the vet to lift up his lip, and pull their head away.

Before going into the office, I had to fill out all that fun paperwork, you know, medical history, insurance info, the really exciting stuff. Part of one of their many three-page questionnaires was "What is your ethnicity? (circle one)". Then it went one to list races, not ethnicities: caucasian, hispanic, asian, native american, or black. I hate this question because I find it useless and devisive. I hate that they are too stupid to know the difference between a race and ethnicity, and I hate that after they have the nerve to ask, then they tell you to "circle one". So according to them, I have to decide if my mother's, or husband's, or father's blood is more important, and I have to do so to make them more comfortable with what I am. If that is the case, then they should ask "What is your race?" and have one choice: "human". Wow, imagine that, we will all pick the same thing! So, sometimes I pick "other", but there is usually a disclosure that says if I refuse to pick, then whoever takes the paperwork will make a judgement on what I look like and pick for me, so I circled everything except "native american".

The next question was "what is your primary language?" Okay, I can see the fairness of this. There is a large Hispanic community here, the Amish community is not that far, so if they need a translator, this knowledge might be of some service. I chose English because that is the right answer. But the next question annoyed me again: "what is your secondary language?" How is this pertinent to my son's dental care? It's not. If I can communicate and understand "brush everyday and no fruit snacks" with ease, who cares? So I thought of writing "ecclesiastical Latin" in the "other" box, but decided against it because despite trying to teach it in our homeschool for years now and attending Latin mass, it just isn't very good. So that would be a bit misleading. My husband was dissappointed that I didn't.

Next are they going to ask "what kind of ethnic food do you like to eat," and have the choices "curry and roti", "beans and rice", "lasagna" and I would write "pancakes, sausage and maple syrup" in the "other" category because although it seems like basic American food, it is ethnic American food. Trying to find a place that serves pancakes for breakfast in many other countries is like trying to find Pat Thai in the middle of the country roads of upstate NY.

I was just very grateful my husband was not with me so she could state the usual "your boyfriend can come in too" when she announced they were ready for Fredegar's appointment.

10 Comments

In a world of people who are 1/3rd Italian and such, I guess they thought that the questionaire had a point. Honestly, I always thought that the race question was generally supposed to be optional, regardless, I usually put other. As for other questions such as pertaining to language, I can see why they'd want to know primary, but most Americans don't have a secondary to begin with. Regardless of all of that, knowing that the baby speaks English shouldn't have been too much of an asset when considering that he's a toddler that can only say a handful of things anyway. Do they think that he'd even know what it would mean to have a cavity? Asides from the fact that I'm amazed that he didn't chomp down on the dentist's fingers.

Yes, English as a primary language is a kind of dopey choice as Fredegar's English is terrible. "Screechy" would have been a better choice.

Isn't there stuff on a lot of forms or in statistical reports about how Hispanic is not a "race" and therefore counts of Hispanic people include "white" and "non-white" people? So maybe that is why they ask for "ethnicity," since Hispanic is included. I agree that "race" is mostly a psychological/social construct. I don't know if there are any bright lines in the world of DNA or anthropology or whatever between the commonly reckoned "races" but even if so that's not what most people are thinking about when race is discussed, just the social concepts of "white," "black," "Hispanic," "Asian," and maybe a few others.

I am not sure what the privacy policy says about aggregating this kind of information, but maybe they like to keep statistics for a variety of reasons... like if anyone ever accuses them of treating people of a certain "ethnicity" differently, or for contributing the data to researchers. (I could see legitimate reasons to make note of "race"/"ethnicity" in studying any health issue.)

Hispanic is not a "race" and therefore counts of Hispanic people include "white" and "non-white" people?

I usually see "Hispanic (non-black)" as a category on forms that ask for "race". I think whoever typeds this up was plain ignorant. If you are asking for "race" Hispanic, which is sort of an broad term for ethnicity, but would be better addressed in the "language" page.You can be caucasian and be Hispanic straight from Spain, or Cuban or Uruguan with pure Spanish blood. You can be from Patagonia and be pure Welsh blood and speak Spanish, or Italian from Agentina. On flip side, you can be Cuban, Puerto Rican or Dominican, or Panamanian and be black(carribean Hispanics are descended from mostly slaves and spanish people). If you are Mexican, you can be mostly Spanish and Irish, or mostly native american. But all those categories are ethnicities as well as, so I never know what they mean. Are people like my husband (and hence, my children) who are "hispanic(black)" (carribean descent) not supposed to check that box?

I don't know if there are any bright lines in the world of DNA or anthropology or whatever between the commonly reckoned "races" but even if so that's not what most people are thinking about when race is discussed

I am sure there are, but if you really broke it down on those levels, people will find the categories not more purposeful, but even more arbitrary. Southern Europeans for example, as well as Northern Africans would probably have a lot in common. African Americans will have a great deal of caucasian DNA traits, many with Native Americans as well. Carribean people will have everything. I would love that actually, just take my DNA and tell the what one category I fit under. The categories will become useless unless everyone gets their own racial title :"that lady over there is Afropean, and that guy is Eurican because we are going by what percentage they are of what". My kids can be Caublacanicasian, but that is too long, so I really like "human" better.

I am not sure what the privacy policy says about aggregating this kind of information,

Most places I skip it, but certain places require it, or like I said, they have a disclosure that if you refuse to answer, they will answer for you on observation. People who can't even say my last name are going to decide.

like if anyone ever accuses them of treating people of a certain "ethnicity" differently, .

Yeah, starting with their stupid forms.

or for contributing the data to researchers. (I could see legitimate reasons to make note of "race"/"ethnicity" in studying any health issue.)

Ok, I can see this. First it will help them to figure out the difference between ethnicity and race if you are going for science. But OK, blacks are more prone to pre-term labor, heart disease, diabetes and asthma. But what does that mean? If you take down a patient's case history, does race override family history and social history? Is an inner-city-17-year-old-single mother more prone to pre-term labor than a 30-year-old married suburban pregnant woman? Is a sedentary, obese, smoker woman who eats fried foods all day more prone to heart disease than an athletic man who eats right?

I will be happy when this stuff is gone.I am not saying people, on private levels should not take joy in their family heritage. I am tired that American culture still places such high value at judging people based on where their family once came from, and Americans as a rule come from everywhere.

Wow, this hits home. My kids consider themselves Japanese, so when forms say "pick one," I pick "Asian," and that often leads to the question, "Are they adopted?" I just smile and say, "Nope!" and let them think about it, if they want, and realize their stupid form raises more questions than it answers.

What is up with "your boyfriend can come in too" ????? That is the rudest thing I have heard in a long time!

"Are they adopted?" I just smile and say, "Nope!"

My mother used to get that all the time-well sort of. People put these things in a common frame of reference. A white lady with Asian children, you think (assume) "adoption". A black lady with a precocious little white girl, you think (assume)"Nanny". Once when I was like 2 or 3 and self-destructing over not being able to get potato chips in the supermarket, a lady stepped in and sternly said to my mother "you should ask her mother what she wants!"

What is up with "your boyfriend can come in too" ????? That is the rudest thing I have heard in a long time!

Not many couples with Hispanic last names are married around here, so they actually think it is more polite to go with the boyfriend moniker first, rather than insult someone if they are not married. But I am insulted.

When my oldest son was a baby, I was mistaken for his nanny several times. I think it had less to do with the lack of physical resemblance than the fact that we were living in LA, in Brentwood, and took him to parks frequented by nannies (while moms got their nails done, presumably) -- and in my baggy sweatpants, I looked much more like a nanny than a Brentwood mom.

"Not many couples with Hispanic last names are married around here, so they actually think it is more polite to go with the boyfriend moniker first, rather than insult someone if they are not married."

That is bizarre. I have nothing personally against unmarried people dating/cohabitating, but I have a lot against clueless people making assumptions like that.

Hmmm, well, rather than insult the married woman with "Your boyfriend can come in too", I would rather insult the un-wed mother with "Your husband can come in too" and let that subtle message sink in too.

You know, I wonder why they make you choose a race/ethnicity in the first place. I mean, unless there is a helath problem, in which case the dentist will ask a bout background, what is the point? You will be called by name by the receptionist will you not? I hardly think she will be inviting the "Black Italo-hispanic-blah blah blah" kid into the office next.

Oh, for the record, on my blog, my alter-ego IS a shipwrecked woman on a deserted island...

Um, oops, anonymous was me

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