The Summa Mamas are talking about the "alpha mom" and "beta mom" thing.
I know there's a lot of tongue-in-cheek going on, but I can only take about forty seconds of this "alpha mom" and "beta mom" thing before I just want to weep. Who pronounces the "alpha moms" to be "alpha moms"? And why are some self-described "beta moms" allowing the (perceived) skills of others to make them feel inadequate? And what standards are they measuring themselves against?
If I had more time maybe I'd be able to say something eloquent about this being another manifestation of our messed-up culture -- first feminism heaped scorn on the traditional domestic arts, so a lot of women didn't learn them, but then people started to miss them, so the commercial culture started selling them back to us. And how better to sell them back to us than by using advertising and magazines to foster a sense of inadequacy?
Don't you think most of us are "beta" Moms? I mean I do cook from scratch often, but food is important to me (read "I like to eat!"). But I am a horrible housekeeper (don't look on top of my fridge or under anything)and my boys have me yelling at the end of the day.Is there really someone out there that is perfect on all fronts all the time?
I refuse to class moms as "alpha moms" and "beta moms." I'm just not going to play. I mean, seriously -- you cook from scratch, you are personally producing the food for the littlest Moss, you stretch a dollar like nobody else I know, you are raising a whole tribe of little Mosses across a whole range of challenging ages, you are home-schooling them -- and all of that gets cancelled out because you've got dust on the top of your fridge? You haven't cleaned the coils, so you're a second-class mom? That's just crazy.
Is there really someone out there that is perfect on all fronts all the time?
I can only think of one person -- the Queen Mom we're honoring tomorrow. And I'm sure she had her moments where she was tired or frustrated. She may have even raised her voice when it was necessary!
Thanks for bringing this up. Another funny thing about this is that people in general want "moms" but don't really respect them. Home arts are essential to functioning as an adult, but the schools have deleted them, replacing cooking skills with microwave meals, sewing talents with shopping prowess, and mothering abilities with being overprotective of your children. As a homeschooling mom who's trying to continue to be one, I find that people feel that you are overprotecting your child's psychy if you tell them that you don't want them hanging out with certain children, or controlling how they spend their free time. I thought that that was what a parent was supposed to do.
I have found so many people who object to my belief system after they had praised my family for being so nice and "put together". Things that make you go hmmmm.
I even have a boy who feels that I over monitor what my children do, because I don't allow him to invade their lives with his own unparented life. He regularly makes my kids feel like they are lacking in life because we don't have the money to spend on frivolous things like everyone's own personal computer.
Oh well, thanks for letting me rant a little.
Lori@faithunltd.com