Catholic Phoenix reports (with video) on the Holy Father saying Mass in the Ordinary Form ad orientem, using an extended Mr Rogers' Neighborhood metaphor. Which is all well and good, until....
Does a priest facing the Lord instead of you make you feel kind of hurt on the inside? Does it make you sad or mad? Well, I wouldn’t be surprised if it aggravates Lady Elaine Fairchilde as well, who I always thought was the type who would be really steamed about the Vatican “visitation” of American nuns too.
I must protest! Once again, Lady Elaine is slandered. I think she would be delighted by the increased use of ad orientem (and would be steamed by being grouped with the silly people steamed by the Apostolic Visitation.)
We know, after all, that Lady Elaine has a deep respect for tradition -- is she not the curator of a museum? We also know that
she is organized and focused, and resists
capricious p.c. meddling. And if something goes wrong, does she shrug and say, oh, well, that's the way it is? No!
Father Friday: Fairchilde, I have decided that the congregation must not be barricaded off from me.
So I shall have this altar rail removed and taken to the dumpster.
Lady Elaine: That's what you think, Toots! Boomerang, Toomerang, Soomerang! (whisks altar rail to safety in the Museum-Go-Round.)
++++
Sister Orbis Rotunda: Lady Elaine, would you like to help me and the other Sisters advocate for new paradigms of caring justice?
Lady Elaine: I thought you cared for old people in the nursing home.
Sister: Oh, no, we have advanced beyond that.
Lady Elaine: So who's caring for the old people?
Sister: We are being prophetic.
Lady Elaine: Whatever, Toots. You go be prophetic. Me? I'm going to go visit the old people.
+++
Father Tuesday: I'd like to say Mass the way the Holy Father says it, but I can't find the old candlesticks the parish used to have.
Lady Elaine: Ah-ha! Friday thought they were gone for good, but... BOOMERANG, TOOMERANG, SOOMERANG! (six brass candlesticks appear)
