Parenting and Family Life: August 2006 Archives

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned I was sick. I got better, but not 100%. I have not been able to shake the exhaustion. It is not simply exhaustion, I have been feeling that since getting pregnant. It is lethargy, and shortness of breath. I just want to sleep all the time and I sense some added blues as well.I am having trouble thinking clearly. It occured to me that I am probably anemic since that is my usual course during pregnancy. I looked up anemia and have all the symptoms except the usual tell-tale pica. I had a check-up yesterday and my doctor put me on prescription iron supplements. I hope they help.

I am awake now. (I have intermittent bouts of insomnia and falling asleep). I was watching a show on Discovery Channel that I like called A Haunting but fell asleep. I woke up to the next show called Most Evil. It is about a doctor from Columbia U. who studies the "why's" of serial killers and ranks them on a scale from 1-22, 22 being the most evil. I woke up in time to hear about the #22 guy for the evening, and to make a long story short without too many details, this guy was different because his victims were children. I got to hear the last story, and now I can't stop cryingh because I keep thinking what if that were my sweet, little Gorbulas?

I am not sure which is worse, that this stuff happens, or that they put it on TV. I mean knowing about it just got me really, really upset. But not knowing about doesn't change what happened. For some reason I think the Discovery Channel is "safe". But sometimes I think these shows are just as bad as any of the other crap, just in the guise of "documentary". If I learned something practical from it, then I would not feel quite as bad.

Yesterday I typed out an excerpt from the book This Is The Faith by Canon Francis Ripley on NFP.

Any practicing Catholic knows the NFP debate is nothing new. The "contraceptive mentality" vs."reponsibility" argument. Neither side really spoke logically to me, and that may simply be because everyone's set of circumstances are slightly different.

Perhaps that is why Humanae Vitae says "grave" and leaves it at that.

I read the following passage a few years ago when I first acquired the book, and I found these few words to be very helpful to me. I liked it because it did not have all the pro-NFP propaganda (which I find annoying, unrealistic and really quite contraceptve in mentality). At the same time, it took into consideration that there are circumstances where NFP might be a valid choice while still sounding pro-family and quite Catholic.

Since I typed it out recently, I thought I would share it.

A few days ago, USA Today ran an article about an op-ed written by a woman who claims her kids are boring. Actually, if I am correct, she stated her kids are boring, not motherhood? I am not sure.

Freelance journalist Helen Kirwan-Taylor, 42, hit a nerve after the Daily Mail tabloid on Wednesday published her first-person essay under the headline, "Sorry, but my children bore me to death!"

Kirwan-Taylor, the mother of two boys, Constantin, 12, and Ivan, 10, says many tasks associated with motherhood are tedious and boring. She'd rather go shopping or have her hair done than attend another child's birthday party. When she takes her kids to movies, she spends the two hours text-messaging friends on her cellphone. She says that when her children were young, she became a workaholic to avoid having to spend time with them. She begged the nanny to read them bedtime stories

(According to the article, I am late in the Mommy Blogosphere to get in on this act, but who cares. I just read the article yesterday and it has been on my mind since.)

The article is more about the response to her article: some people are outraged; others feel she is a trailblazer.

Now, I am an opinionated AP SAHM Mom. However, I think her feelings are right on target. What woman would not rather be having a pedicure than, well anything else? Housewifery is boring. Not only is it boring, it is underappreciated by everybody. You aren’t paid, no one tells you how clever and intelligent you are for alphabetizing the pantry, and kids mess up just what you cleaned up.

Moreover, it is darn lonely.

In addition, kids are somewhat boring. They are kids. In life, most people you do not have common interests with are not boring. Frankly there would be something wrong with me as a 33-year-old woman if I got all excited like my 10-year-old son about the next Resident Evil coming out. To be fair, Posco is not fighting with me over my GK Chesterton book either. (Although I think, this author may have a bit more in common with her twelve year old if she spends hours at a time text messaging her friends. That is a bit juvenile to me.)

Nevertheless, here’s the rub: feeling is one thing, but responsibility is another. Dinner has to be cooked, diapers need to be changed, and books have to be read. I think one of the things that makes someone “responsible” is doing the things you need to when you really, really don’t want to. The difference between a good mother and a bad mother is not if you just love changing diapers or if you hate changing diapers. Regardless of how you feel, the diapers need to be changed. Not changing the diapers because you admit you are in touch with your true feelings of the situation does not make you some kind of pioneer for women’s rights; it makes you a bad mother.