Peonyiana: June 2004 Archives

I received a curious piece of mail today. It was addressed to Ms Peony Bumbleroot Moss and family. Now, nobody ever calls me Ms Bumbleroot Moss (Bumbleroot being my maiden name) unless they are writing from an alumni society. But where was the computer printed name? The envelope was handwritten. And where was the return address? And what's with this "and family" business?

The return address was on the back: the address of a Benedictine monastery I'd never heard of before. Inside was an invitation to a Solemn Profession of Vows: one of the brothers who is making his Profession is a guy I had known in college.

This is just so weird to me. First, I have never personally known anyone in religious life, so I don't know the etiquette of how to decline the invitation. Should I send a card? an offering? I am shy around priests and religious in general (I'm just weird that way) and especially in situations like this, where I don't know really know what's going on or What's Done.

The other weird thing is that this fellow (let's call him Minto Bramble) is not just "some guy I knew." We were dating intensely for a while and it did not end well at all. It was a serious heartbreak for me, made even worse by Minto's obtuse failure to comprehend that my feelings were hurt, that we weren't friends, and that I really, really, really never wanted to see him or hear from him again. I was so happy to say good-bye for the last time at graduation.

That was twelve years ago, and I have not seen or heard from him since. So what's he doing dredging up my address from the Alumni Society? I'm almost scared to write and decline the invitation and promise prayers, because I'm afraid I'll get on the monastery's mailing list or something like that.

I am pleased to note that Brother Bramble (who doesn't seem to be taking a name in religion) is not the first college classmate of mine who's been called to the religous life. A year or so I opened the diocese newspaper and, right there on the Vocations Week supplement, saw the face of another classmate beaming out from her Carmelite habit. I should definitely get on her mailing list. Maybe I can beg her assistance with my two big intentions.

For anyone who's interested, Brother Bramble will be making his Solemn Profession on July 11.

I am an SRDL--Sober Rational Destructive Leader. This makes me a mob boss. I am the ultimate alpha person and even my friends give me my space. I can't stand whiners, weaklings, schlemiels or schlemozzles. I don't make many jokes, but when I do, others laugh out loud. They must.

People often turn to you for advice, and wisely. I am calm in a crisis, cautious in a tempest, and attuned to even the finest details. Mine is the profile of a smart head for business and a dangerous enemy.

I have a natural knack for fashion and occupy a suit like a matinee idol. My charisma is striking and without artifice. I am generous, thoughtful, and appreciate life's finer things.

The quizwriter concludes: Please don't kick my ass.

A natural knack for fashion? Ultimate alpha person? It's a good thing there's carpet in my living room or I might have broken a bone falling to the floor with laughter.

This quiz spotted at the blog of the evil genius at Disputations.

Oh brother. I used to use scissors to give Hambet his awful home haircuts, but I thought I'd move up to the big time and use clippers. A friend gave me some little tips she'd printed up (she is an old hand at cutting hair.)

I followed her directions carefully, and they seemed to make sense, but things started going wrong with the first pass of the clipper: the guards she uses are numbered from largest to smallest, and her instructions are based on that system. The guards on my clipper are numbered from smallest to largest. So her guard #2 is my guard #6. I didn't realize my mistake until it was too late and I had cut the back way too short. Disconcerted, I paused for a fatal moment -- Hambet squirmed -- and bzzzzzzzz -- there went a big strip of hair from the nape of his neck halfway up the side of his head!

I tried to assemble the thing into some kind of style, but now he looks like he's either off to the skateboard ramp or just back from taking the tonsure. Plus the little long cap on the top is not cut evenly. Oh well, Hambet doesn't care and it will always grow back. But next time, I won't start with the smallest guard! I just hope the new look softens up a bit before we go off to see dh's family next week.

Peony: Well, I unpacked all the bags but I couldn't find those stamps that got lost.

Posco (Peony's husband): Well, that's the way it goes, I guess. Are you sure you don't want to go out with me this afternoon?

Peony: Honey, I really want to finish the laundry. You're going to the stamp store, aren't you?

Posco: ....maybe.

Peony: Hmmm. Did I stick them in your book? Think maybe they fell out of your book when we went to the beach?

Posco: Oh, give it up, they're lost. (starts backing car out)

Peony thinks, signals to Posco to stop, runs up and taps on window

Posco rolls down the window.

Peony: Sweetheart! I know you just told me, but what was the name of the beach?!

Posco: Rocky Neck. (sighs)You're going to call them, aren't you? Ok, See you later.

***

Park ranger: Rocky Neck State Beach.

Peony: Hi, we visited the beach on Wednesday, and I know this is a long shot, but did anyone turn in a paper bag with stamps in it?

Park ranger: Sure, let me go check.... let's see here... Purchased at Cutesy-Poo Stamp Shoppe, Massachussetts?

Peony: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't wait to see the look on hubby's face when I give him this news!

We had a good time, but a lot of other stuff went wrong. If it weren't against the First Commandment I would wonder if there was a jinx on our trip.

St Anthony prayer request: the thing of my husband's that I misplaced the very day he bought it. St Anthony, help!

The place we're staying tonight has not only a complimentary continental breakfast but also limited internet usage!

-- Thank you for your prayers for my grandmother. She died on Sunday (she had turned 94 just this month.) And she got her wish -- she never had to move off the farm.

-- Happy anniversary to my dear husband (it was June 14)

-- "My dinner with Alicia" -- read all about it at her place. It was SO FUN.

-- We had minor car trouble and ended up hanging around Louisa May Alcott's house for an hour waiting for a jump start. I now know that Sears has a battery express service -- installation in 15 minutes! Maybe the shade of Bronson Alcott was wreaking his revenge for my calling him "an amiable nutcase."

-- I do believe dylan has a birthday coming up on the eighteenth. Care to join me in leaving some birthday wishes in the most recent comments box? Stay to browse his archives, if you haven't seen his site before, and please offer a prayer for his recovery.

-- Think of something you need printed. Then go over here and order it. Or order some prayer books from him. My copies will be presented to the head of our domestic church come Father's Day, and they look awesome.

Having a great time! See you next week!

Peony

Okay, I am feeling a little less frantic. I got everything done that was on my things-to-do list --well, except the potatoes; I just skipped those and made couscous that night instead. And I never got hold of Pansy. But I did everything else, and more.

I still need to pack! I am waaaaaaay behind the 8-ball on that task.

The Moss-mobile is back from the shop. They still need to replace one part that hadn't come in on time, so I'll need to bring it back once we return.

I dropped my sewing machine off for an estimate. They didn't call me this afternoon, so that will have to wait until after my return.

Good news -- I found the thing I lost! Thank you, intercessors! It had fallen out of my purse on the morning I dropped the car off at the shop. So now I am breathing a little easier. And that scratches the "little thing" off my intentions.

So that leaves two big things, and a new thing: Please remember my grandmother, who just turned 94, in your prayers. She is in the hospital again and this time it really doesn't look good -- it sounds like her kidneys have failed, and she is too frail to tolerate treatment. But my parents ordered us to go ahead with our trip. I'm not sure, when the time comes, that I would even be able to go; I would have to take a long flight alone with Hambet, and I wouldn't be able to stay long. So we'll see what happens.

Time to pack! See you around Father's Day.

...something's lost and can't be found. Yes, I've lost something again, and it seems to have vanished from my purse, probably into that space-time anomaly. The something is new and not easily replaceable, so I am frantic.

OK, if this were the HMS or the Ragemonkey blog, I would have all kinds of entries up about how I was taking over the blog, demanding to be addressed as Her Serene Majesty Peony the Benevolent and Clever, appointing myself Liturgist-in-Chief over all English-speaking countries, and naming my cabinet.

But alas, real life is leaving me too little time to take full advantage of Pansy's computer troubles. Here's what's going on:

On Friday, the Maryland Mosses are headed on vacation to New England. Planned highlights include the Alcott house, Cape Cod, and dinner with a highly esteemed blogger. So this week I'm getting the house ready and doing some packing.

Thanks to everyone who commented with advice on the car. I brought the car in to be fixed yesterday and got some seriously good news: the extended warranty we had purchased with the car was still in force, so this repair will be largely paid for. What a relief! I thought it had expired but we still have seven months (or 15,000 miles) on the warranty, so later this year I'll bring the car back in and see what else we can get the warranty to pick up.

Meanwhile, in the "why do I do this to myself" department -- I was hoping to make a couple of new jumpers for our trip, but that project didn't work out. Sewing frustrates me so much, yet I long to get good at it. I had cut the two jumpers on Sunday, and chose a very simple pattern (only four pieces!) so I could finish them quickly. So of course my sewing machine chooses this week to start being obstinate and skip stitches. I lubricated it and fooled with the tension, and managed to get a few seams done. I even got the collar facing in on the first jumper and I was so proud -- I usually have a hard time with facings and this one laid so nice and smooth. So I clipped the curves, graded the seam allowance -- and realized I'd put the facing in backwards. It wasn't "right sides together" with the dress. This is kind of like doing a perfect job hanging wallpaper -- seams matched, no bubbles -- and then realizing you've hung it with the pattern upside down. I finally got the facing in properly, but when it came time to do the final seam the sewing machine just wouldn't behave. I'm afraid I'll have to bring it in for an adjustment. Is it normal to need an adjustment every three and a half years?

Here's my things-to-do list for today:

• Do the laundry.
• Work in the garden, staking the tomatoes and planting out the new lettuce and basil. Will try to take pictures for the blog, since it's been a while since I've done a garden update. A chipmunk has moved in and is making burrows in the peas and parsley and in the front flower bed.
• Make a run to KMart and Home Depot for a clay pot (I succumbed to temptation and got a bay plant yesterday), bamboo stakes, and a small plant for Hambet's teacher at the Center (tomorrow is Hambet's last day.) Oh, and a chipmunk trap.
• Put dinner in the crock-pot.
• Pick up my husband and take him to his doctor's appointment (we think dh has a sinus infection.)
• At some point pick up some potatoes to go with dinner.
• At some point call Pansy.
• Drop husband and son at home.
• Return loaner car and pick up repaired Mossmobile.
• Wrap Father's Day present for my dad and get it ready to ship.

I just got back from a day of sitting around and waiting. First I had an eye exam, and got the good news that my eyes had actually improved! The bad news: I still needed new glasses. My old ones were now too strong and were throwing off my eyes' coordination. I tried to pick out a new frame, but Hambet had had enough waiting during the exam. So off to feed Hambet, then back to pick out new frames.

At least the salesman was helpful -- when I came in and announced, "I want a cheap pair of glasses that look like my old ones," he was able to find a pair. Then off to sit and wait for them to get finished. The mall has a little play space in its center, so I turned Hambet loose and went back to waiting.

Back to pick up the glasses, and then off to the next stop: getting the oil changed in the car. My timing worked well, and Hambet slept while we waited.

He was just waking up and getting restless when the car guy came in with that "I don't have good news" look on his face. It's the power steering. It leaks, in several places. They are recommending replacing a high-pressure hose and the rack (apparently you can't just replace the leaky part anymore.) It will be a big pile of money.

I hate making decisions like this. Our car is a '97 with almost 85,000 miles on it. It's also paid for, and I like paid for. If we make this repair it will be good for a lot longer -- I'd love to be able to crack 100,000 on it.

On the other hand, our car is a sedan. If we ever had another child, it would be difficult to get another car seat in there, and we would never be able to carry a passenger.

But then, it's not at all certain that we'll ever need to get another car seat in there.