Peonyiana: July 2004 Archives

Remember that little dilemma I posted about a few weeks ago? Thanks to all those who offered ideas.

After I'd had a couple of days to cool off, I started wondering why I was getting in such a knot about it -- for all I knew, Brother Bramble had just gone through the alumni roster and written an invitation to any name that sounded familiar to him. Dear husband Posco had another take: that Brother Bramble had sent the invitation because he knew I would appreciate the importance of his Solemn Profession.

Thanks to all who offered counsel in the comments box. Father Johansen was kind enough to offer some advice by email:

I side more or less with the "make a polite gesture" crowd, albeit with a twist. I don't know if he's trying to signal anything or not by sending you an invitation. Chances are all he's doing is trying to convey his own happiness to all the people who were significant in his life, which it sounds like you were. Chances are, if he's gotten through monastic novitiate and subsequent formation, he's done a _lot_ of growing up since then.

Since he is a religious under obedience, I'd suggest the following manner of
reply: Send a card to him with a kind, non-personal note in it, _through_ his
abbot. In other words, put the card in its envelope _inside_ a larger envelope, with a note to the abbot expressing your happiness about your ex's finding his vocation, and enclose a small offering _to the abbey_ (I'd suggest $25.00), not a gift to your ex personally.

This would, I think, fulfill a minimum duty of civility and gratitude (after all, his making his profession _is_ a good thing), while sending it through the abbot would make clear that this is not intended to be a "personal" gesture. And, if you're concerned about getting on the monastery's mailing list, you could include something to that effect in your note to the abbot.

You can find out the abbot's name and the address of the monastery (if it's not in the invitation) by going to your parish office and looking it up in the "Kennedy Directory". You may even find it online.

If he should attempt to correspond with you beyond sending a "Thank You" note
(which I think is unlikely), all you'd have to do is return his letter to the abbot with a note saying you do not want any contact from him, and that should be the end of the matter.

And that is exactly what I did. I used my very best stationery, addressed my cover letter to the Abbot, and mentioned that I would be praying for Brothers Brandybuck and Bramble. I did enclose a short note to Brother Bramble (though I didn't have a big enough outer envelope to use the double cover.) And I did send an offering to the Abbey "in thanksgiving for Brother Bramble's Solemn Profession." I even sent it on time, on July 7 (the Profession was on July 11, and no, I didn't manage to get to the computer to post about it and ask for prayers.) No response at this writing.

I have had a surge of energy this week, and I'm using it to try to catch up on some of the dozens of unfinished projects around the house. My goal is to complete -- or at least make progress on -- one procrastinated task every day.

Part of it is that I am just brim full of mental energy this week. Don't know where it came from; I'm not asking questions. Carpe diem.

Part of it is shame at my past laziness: How much more pleasant and well-run and orderly could my home have been if I had just made a little extra effort a couple of months ago?

Part of it is rejecting perfectionism.

Part of it is excitement from finally accomplishing things -- getting one task done bringing joy and momentum to tackle the next.

One of the things I've been working on this week is getting my photographs in order. I love taking pictures, but I have had a bad habit of not putting them into albums. I have THIRTY-SIX rolls of organized pictures, plus another shoebox chock full of hundreds of loose pictures, including most of my wedding pictures and even some of my baby pictures. Last night I got the loose pictures all gathered up and started organizing them; I scanned my more recent pictures and got ready to order reprints for the grandmas in my role as Hambet's publicist. I'm going to start working on my new albums next week.

I got all motivated after my sister took me to a Creative Memories class when we were visiting. In fact, I got so motivated that even as I started filing and planning my first album, I also signed up to launch a little home business as a Creative Memories consultant! I am preparing to teach my first class next Monday.

I'll be following the Smockmomma Blogbiz ("i do hereby solemnly swear to never smack any of our readers upside the head with a brochure") No-Pressure Protocol. If you're interested in learning more about my new venture, please drop me an email.

Oh, and speaking of the Smock, please don't be stupid like Peony and forget to put sunscreen on when you go to the pool for the first time this summer. I dutifully screened my face but forgot about my lower back, which probably had not seen the light of day since 1988.

...as we all know, is paved with good intentions.

The roads in hell, I have come to believe, resemble the sections of I-70 running through Pennsylvania.

We're back. Have a ton of stuff to do. More later, I hope.

We are going out of town this weekend so I've been busy getting ready. Yesterday was a big errand day, including a stop at the optician's. Something's wrong with my new glasses: I don't have good distance vision out of my left eye. It's beginning to get inconvenient; I'm finding myself turning my head to favor my fully-corrected right eye. It's especially annoying when I'm driving and can't read street signs, or in a store when I'm barraged with signs that are slightly out of focus.

Anyway, they checked the prescription and it was filled correctly, so next week I go back to the optometrist's. The opticians will refill the prescription at no charge (that was a big relief!) I hope I will not lose my granolacon credentials when I say I am so thankful for all this new technology -- I am nearsighted and have astigmatism, yet I can enjoy fully corrected vision with scratch-resistant lenses that don't totally resemble the bottoms of Coke bottles (back when they were made out of glass.) For that matter, remember when glasses were made of glass? When I was a kid I would have to wait for a week to get my new glasses, but Lenscrafters can have two new pairs ready for me in an hour.

Today I am washing and waxing the car. Hambet was an eager helper while we were vacuuming, but he got tired (it's really hot out) and went back inside. I'm back in to give him some lunch before I go out to wax it. Why is detailing a car so much more fun than detailing a bathroom?

I am not sure why I'm detailing the car instead of washing and packing clothes. Part of it was just being sick of having a dirty car. Part of it may be since we've just done all this work on the Moss-mobile, it seems right to have it nice and clean. Part of it was being really embarrassed at all the Cheerios in the crevices when I went to bring it in (there weren't that many, but I was still embarrassed.... and I should, in fairness, note that there were plenty of coffee splashes, too.)

Part of it is that in our travels this weekend, we are going to be seeing my dad, whose car always looks awful but who always has a great deal of (good) advice on how to keep a car looking nice. When we were there last summer, he went messing around with our windshield and putting some kind of magic preparation on it -- something about making the rain bead up. We were getting kind of annoyed in that he went doing this when we were trying to get going on our road trip to Bismarck. But we were thankful on the way back, when we got caught in one of the heaviest thunderstorms I've ever seen in my life -- the windshield elixer really made the rain bead up, and it made a hugh improvement in the visibility. (It's called Rain-X or something like that, and yes, I'm going to put some on the car today.)

As long as I'm endorsing things, let me endorse the baby pictures at Papa-Lu's and the mommy blogs A Call to Adventure, Princess Mommy, and Ruminations. And while we're on the topic of thankfulness, go catch up on Katholik Shinja and be thankful if you live in a country where free speech is protected.