Pansy: October 2004 Archives

the combination of Tim McGraw and Nelly making a song together is weird? Ot's so weird it's kind of neat. I like the song a lot better than the "get your eagle on" song Nelly has out.

I have never made it this far! I don't know whether to feel proud or to be miserable because I'm still pregnant and think I will be for the rest of my life.

In the meantime, thank you all for the input on boy's names. There were some awesome names suggested and we have picked one. I think I will wait until Baby Day to announce the name.

I forgot to add that if I do not have the baby by Sunday, they are going to induce me do to the GD. I do not want to be induced, it is soooo painful. I am hoping we will have the baby before then the regular way.

They were false alarm contractions. I think I am going to be pregnant forever...
Next time I have contractions, maybe I should tell no one.

because I have had a number of contractions this evening and Polo wants us close to the hospital. I hope I do not get everyone worked up for another false alarm.

But let me talk about something really important before I go. We bought the Star Wars Trilogy on DVD set and finally got around to watching it today. Spoiler alert:do not read if you do not know about the change in the ending of Return of the Jedi and want the surprise. At the end when Luke sees the ghosts of Obi Wan, Yoda and Anakin, they changed the Anakin ghost from the old man to the Hayden Christensen Darth Cryalot Anakin. And he looks really dorky. His hair is too fluffy. I do not like fluffy haired action heros like Mel Gibson in a few of those Lethal Weapon and Liu Kang in Mortal Kombat II. Hayden Christensen as Anakin does not have a lot going for him since he is high on the Dork-O-Meter to begin with. And if he cries again in Episode III, I am so outta there!

Anyway, back to the other important stuff, this will be the second time this week I have had regular contractions. Last weekend, as soon as I got to my mother's, they dissappeared. Not even a single Braxton Hicks. My poor husband, when he is at work keeps calling home to ask how I am feeling. I always forget how hard this point in the wait is.

So eventually I will check in with news of The Guy With No Name who I hope will have a name if he is out, or about another false alarm.

I had another level II ultrasound on Monday, and the baby is a peanut. He weighed in at 6 pounds and 11 ounces at 37 weeks and a day. I am of course concerned because he is by far the smallest of my children and I know gestational diabetes can cause babies to be malnourished and low birthweight. he only gained 1 pound in a month and I have been struggling so hard with my blood sugar. But the radiologist seemed pleased because he is in within normal range. Again, they also were very pleased that he was breathing the whole time. If they were pleases I am more than thrilled, but maybe Alicia could shed some light on the significance of this.

Yesterday I had my OB appointment. The midwife said I cannot have a waterbirth because they might need help delivering the baby since I have GD. Also, everything is trickier because I take insulin. Bummer.

If it help somebody find Jesus, then great. I'm afraid it sounds pretty cringeworthy to me. One of the sure signs that a cultural trend is dead is when some Evangelical creates a Christian version of it.

Hip hop is so not dead. Kanye is as mainstream as you get. He is in concert tonight with Usher, much to my Children Who Cannot Be There's chagrin.

"Jesus Walks" is not s syrupy attempt at evangelising like much Christian Contemporary Rock. It is what it is, a song about what's on a brotha's mind, not to mention has a really good beat. It's a good song at that and a relief from things like Juvenile's Slow Motion.

P.S. I'm still a fan.

To the hustlas, killers, murderers, drug dealers even the strippers To the victims of Welfare for we living in hell here hell yeah Now hear ye hear ye want to see Thee more clearly I know he hear me when my feet get weary Cuz we're the almost nearly extinct We rappers are role models we rap we don't think I ain't here to argue about his facial features Or here to convert atheists into believers I'm just trying to say the way school need teachers The way Kathie Lee needed Regis that's the way yall need Jesus So here go my single dog radio needs this They say you can rap about anything except for Jesus That means guns, sex, lies, video tapes But if I talk about God my record won't get played Huh? Well let this take away from my spins Which will probably take away from my ends Then I hope this take away from my sins And bring the day that I'm dreaming about Next time I'm in the club everybody screaming out

(Jesus Walks)
God show me the way because the devil trying to break me down
(Jesus Walks)
The only thing that I pray is that me feet don't fail me now

My daughter announced that my husband is the most embarrasing father in the whole wide world because of his earrings and that 80's music is very scary.

My brother burned two CD's for her, one of contemporary music (Usher, Sean Paul, MisTeeq etc.) and one 80's CD which she thought was horrible, except Can You Feel The Beat by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam. We listened to the CD on the way home and jammed. Rob Base, Whodini, Jody Whatley, Shannon, UB40-it was a lot of fun, but man did it make us feel old! I think my daughter almost melted in terror right then and there.

No matter how young you are when you first become parents, there is always that generation gap.

Today my second is 9 years old! Where does the time go?

I am online now trying to stay awake. Late afternoon is getting harder and harder to do so. Moving around is getting harder and when I see people they move out of the way. Not like 1 step aside but like 5 steps.

The kids are rather rambunctious and I could probably get a few winks in if I allow them to hook up the TV and watch something, but since it is the last warm days, I prefer they burn off their energy outside.

I have been visiting my mother on days I have doctor's appoinments, which was three days this week. She has been spoiling me. She took us all to McDonald's for lunch yesterday where I proceeded to scarf down a lot of food because I was quite hungry and she ate her little side salad and light lemonade. There's nothing worse than watching people eat healthy at McDonald's while you, um, don't. What is really a big help is when I fall asleep on the couch late in the afternoon and the boys start poking me, she yells at them to leave me alone. That's great: "You leave your mother alone while she's sleeping!" Na na na na na.

So this week I saw the endocrinologist who upped my insulin some more because my sugar is still hard to keep under control without Atkins-esque measures (no, I am not pigging out in McDonald's all the time) and he mentioned "induction". He asked me how long my OB is going to let me go before they induce. Eeewwww. I had one induction with Fastolph and it was not a pleasant experience. But my OB has not mentioned it, so I am not going to think about it. I saw the cardiologist who was really nice, but he had a toupee so I was afraid to look at him out of fear of staring at his toupee. He said my heart looked great. Yay heart! Then I had my regular OB check up and all looks well there too.

So after being at my mother's for three days I got a phone call from my frantic grandmother today. She was soooo worried because she was not able to reach me for three days. She yelled at me because she worries so much about my blood sugar and she "wishes that baby would just get out so..."she doesn't have to worry anymore. She also said she prays to God that I don't have anymore. Yes, I have told her to stop worrying because there is nothing to worry about-but perhaps instead of worrying, say a few prayers that The Little Guy With No Name will be OK. Sometimes I want to crawl into a cave and become a hermit so I don't have to deal with odd people anymore, even if they are my crazy family.

Oh no, Gorbulas is outside on the trampoline screaming because I told him he has to keep his clothes on. I hope my husband comes home earlier rather than later tonight even though he is not as good at yelling at the boys to stop poking me as my mother is.

I just finished Unassisted Childbirth by Laura Kaplan Shanley. It was not exactly what I was looking for. I was looking for something in terms of a practical how to because I have very quick labors and I would like to be prepared if I do not make it to the hospital. This book was more of the "why's" against hospital births, although she is preaching to the choir. I have never had a homebirth, but would love one. I am not having one because the lay midwives are all too far away to come here to assist. I have quick easy labors. The only parts of any of my birth experiences that were traumatic were when the staff would not just leave me alone coupled by the lack of privacy. So she does not have to go far to convince me that being in the comfort and privacy of your home would be so much more preferable.

Aside from the lack of more practical info, my other critique is there were at least two chapters of New Agey suggestions of affirmations and thinking yourself to a quick and painless labor. I have little patience for New Age stuff. I also have little patience for both her and Dr. Bradley's attitude that labor does not hurt. I think labor can be enjoyable despite the pain, and having the right atmosphere and attitude can cut down on the pain, and even that some women experience more pain than others. But I think the idea that labor really does not hurt, but it is programmed into our subconscious by a malecentric society is a fallacy. If that were the case, it simply would not hurt. Why not program that eating ice cream is very painful? Why childbirth? Besides, the Bible states:

To the woman he said:

I shall give you intense pain

you will give birth to your children
in pain.

Genesis 3:16

She was pregnant, and in labour, crying aloud in the pangs of childbirth.

Revelation 12:2

So that is what scripture says and that overrides Ms. Shanley and Dr. Bradley in my book.

All that aside, as simply as a childbirth preparation book, I found the attitude of this book much more refreshing than Lamaze and Dr. Bradley who I thought were both full of bologna. Even though the book was about unassisted childbirth, there was a certain perspective that I think can be brought to any birth situation. I mean all these methods are take what will work for you and leave the rest, it is just annoying how militant they are about their particular perspective. Although I think I found Dr. Bradley the most annoying. I don't think many husbands really like being the coach person and I liked Laura Shanley's perspective that childbirth is ultimately about the mother and baby and no one else. Emotionally, if there is anyone else involved, it certainly is about the husband, but it doesn't have to be if no one is really feelin' that.

Anyway, if you are expecting I recommend this book even if you are not planning an unassisted or even homebirth. Actually especially if you are having a hospital birth because it will help you focus on a good birth plan and decide what you want out of your birth experience.

Last night we built the first fire of the season. Actually it wasn't "we", it was Polo. I just started saying "Polo, it's chilly, I think we need a fire. Polo, I think we need a fire."

At first he objected by saying "well, it's 55 degrees, if I build a fire it's going to be 90-somethin' in here." I am not sure why when he builds a fire it has to be this competition with other imaginary fire building people trying to burn down the western hemisphere. I think when he used to get up early in the morning and light the fire before dawn, he probably did some kind of fire dance around the wood burning stove. OK, let me stop making fun of my poor husband.

So we lit a fire and kept the dampers partially closed so it was a very comfortable 74 degrees in the house last night. What made it even more pleasant was Polo almost finished the fall cleaning downstairs so instead of all the piles of stuff we had around while we went through them to throw stuff out, it was clean, cozy and comfortable.

We always do our spring cleaning in fall. Spring would make more sense because winter does leave the house all nasty, dirty and sooty, but I think there is just more inspiration to just get out of the house at that time rather than stay inside and clean. In fall we always have to make room for all the new homeschooling books and I suppose since we are getting ready to close everything up and spend the next few months indoors, it makes sense that now would be the time to make it all nice again. Especially with the New Guy With No Name coming, we want it extra sparkley.

Another Mass at Auriesville said by a 70 something year old Jesuit. Once again I was grateful to God for the gift of an orthodox Mass. But in the homily the priest kept talking about his experiences at a retreat house in the 70's. Nothing wrong with that, but there something sad about how almost all the priests are so old.

I don't think good young priests are allowed in Albany anyway. They must get stopped at the diocesan border customs or something.

Fastolph came up to me while I was making buckwheat pancakes this morning. He was doing this strange little hobbit looking dance and asked "Mommy, does dancing make you merry?" I was like "huh?" People actually use the word "merry"? I had to ask him three times to repeat himself to be sure I heard him right.

"Yes Fastolph, dancing can make you merry."

A nasty cold swept through the family this past week. Fastolph was passed out for two days, I have bronchitis and Gorbulas ended up in the hospital for two days due to an asthma attack. I stayed with him in the hospital during that time and decided I hate hospitals. I am glad for the life saving intervention, but they are miserable places to be in.

We came home this morning and the drive through the country on this beautiful fall day was so invigorating. The leaves are changing, there are pumpkins all over, the weather is mild and sunny. Sometimes I cannot believe how lucky I am.