Pansy: December 2004 Archives

I didn't like it. Well, let me start with the positives. The kids were cute and liked the way they interacted with each other in the story. They stood up for each other and got along. That was the plus.

The negative was Jim Carrey's character was characterised in one interview as "evil but likeable" which was what they were going for. I didn't like this. Count Olaf was a murderer, materialistic, and he attempted to marry his 14 year old ward to get money. There was nothing funny or likeable here at all. I found the story a bit too creepy for children.

The set was also very dark, like the Batman movies, which to me was also too creepy for kids.

The plot started developing mysteries and questions which were never answered. I hate that.

So I didn't like this movie except for the interesting costumes. I think Hollywood really thought they have a winner on their hands (which they very well might by theeir standards) judging from the all star cast. It stars Jim Carrey, Jude Law, Meryl Streep and has cameos by Luiz Guzman, Cedric the Entertainer, Catherine O'Hara and Dustin Hoffman to name a few.

Maybe I would like it better if it were not a kid's movie.

Last week, my brother said he watched an episode of ER in which Abby arranged for a woman to have an abortion because she had 5+ kids and she was so "run down". Her husband could not be convinced that birth control was bad and this poor women was reduced to a mindless breeding machine. Isn't it amazing how ER mirrors real life?

Months before I had Gorbulas, number 4, Andrea Yates tragically drowned her 5 children. This set a precedent that being a housewife, homeschooling, having so many children was a formula for mental illnness, murder, suicide or what have you. People continually started asking in hushed tones "are you alright?" It seems quite evident that only religious, homeschooling mothers with more than three children lose sleep, have controlling husbands, suffer from depression, are busy or are homicidal maniacs.

After I had Gorbulas I suffered from a bit of post partum depression and I believed it was my fault because I had 4 kids. Of course it was the end of January, and I always get a touch of seasonal induced depression at that time. But everyone was so worried, that must have been it. OK, I'm tired of it. I often feel the need to paint a picture for people that I am totally sane and capable-even more so than people who do it right and choose not to complicate their lives by more than one kid and keeping a career. I am woman, hear me roar. But that is not always the case either. So I have been thinking about my life lately and here are some of my very random thoughts on motherhood:
-I love having 5 kids. I want more because I cannot imagine my life without a baby around. They are a blessing.
-However, my homelife is crazy and it is driving me nuts. My two year old nibbled a hole in a bag of Cheerios before I got up like a mouse because he must have been starving to death. (I do feed my kids incidently).
-My boys never sit down quieltly.
-My daughter is such a good girl and I need to tell her that more. But when I am about to, she walks into a wall.
-I do not get out enough to do things just for me. I rarely spend money on just me. I have very little social life outside the home since becoming a SAHM.
-Although I think my lack of social life has as much to do with the fact that I do not like many people in real life than being busy with Mommy stuff. People annoy me-a lot.
-Would people annoy me so much if I weren't a SAHM? Probably not because I would view the world from a much more one dimensional perspective. I would vote democrat and wouldn't see a think wrong with ordaining women.
-My husband does not coerce me into having more children. In fact, from people I know who are open to life, husbands seem to worry more about numbers of children than wives.
-My kids drive me crazy all day.
-I don't think I would ever get to know my children very well if I didn't homeschool. I think I would view them as accessories in my life as opposed to my vocation.
-My doctor keeps asking me if I am getting enough sleep. The answer is "no". Do any mothers?
-My arms and shoulders ache all the time from holding the baby.
-I have great shoulders.
-There is nothing in the world as wonderful as co-sleeping with a little, snuggly baby.
-I need a 12 step program because I am so addicted to pinching plump baby cheeks and thighs.
-Babies rocks.
-Being able to nurse is a blessing.
-I hate how flabby I look after having Fedegar.
-Since none of my pre-pregnancy clothes no longer fit, I just had to go buy all new ones. Oh well.
-I had to swallow my pride and look for them a size bigger.
-They all have to have nursing access. All my clothes have needed nursing access since I've been married. A small inconvenience.
-I love to cook and am glad to have people to cook for.
-I hate to cook, these kids eat at least three times a day.
-I hate mornings. The boys wake up yelling. The baby cries. I need to cook and get dressed. I feel very overwhelmed in the mornings.
-My floors are always sticky because some one spills something at least once a day.
-When we go out, someone usually compliments my husband and myself about what a beautiful family we have.
-I get depressed sometimes because life is boring and the same day in and day out. I very badly want to get dressed up and be whisked away to somewhere with a black dress, perfrume and make-up.
-If I were not a married housewife, I know I would be depressed because I
would want to be. There are far worse things in life than monotony.
-My daughter tells me often how pretty she thinks I am.
-I cannot wait to be a grandmother and I daydream often about having lots of grandchildren and being an eccentric old lady. I want them to call me Suga Mama like on the Proud Family. And when I send them money for Christmas presents in cards, I am going to send it in obscure amounts like $17.97 (like a check for $17.95 and two pennies) so they will deliberate why I sent them that amount. I daydream about stuff like this often.
-My 5 year old is a handful. He cannot sit still, he is always trying to pick up women and he breaks things all the time. Sometimes I wish he had an "off" button.
-My 5 year old is so intelligent it is scary, and I think quite a few times a day that if he survives growing up and gets no one pregnant out of wedlock, he is destined for great things.
-I am sorry my husband only has time to work and come home-and go to the gym. On the other hand I'm not that sorry.
-The period of time that our children are small and need us goes by very fast. People think and act like once you have a baby, they will be needy three year old for the rest of your life. They grow up in the blink of an eye and you will cease to be the center of their world before you know it. It is a blessing to have little munchkins around who think so highly of you. It is an honor.

So my kids were whining at me about how we do not have enough Christmas movies. I made a mental inventory out loud as to what we had:
The Santa Claus
Home Alone
Veggie Tales: The Toy That Saved Christmas
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
And the Nest family video on the Nativity.
Yeah, pretty pathetic. I also have While You Were Sleeping. Posco objected because none of those videos are really about Christmas and Baby Jesus. Rosey Posey tried to make it seem better by stating that not everyone is Catholic, so you can't expect them all to watch Baby Jesus Christmas movies. Buzz-wrong answer! But we won't go there because we did that to death this afternoon.

Anywho, my Christmas DVD Library is very pathetic, considering none of those are even DVD's, so I haven't even purchased an entry in like 5 years. I think I never like buying holiday items because they are only good for a few weeks out of the year and my thrifty logic wins out. But I have been thrifty to the point of no holiday fun. And I suck at buying holiday items. Why did I get that Rudolph video anyway?

So, if you were me, what Christmas movies would you purchase? Please don't say It's A Wonderful Life or Bells of St. Mary's because those are the obvious choices.

My husband, for the second time in a week, (and in his life} has misplaced something. A relative sent Rosey Posey a $100 check as a Christmas gift, and my husband put it somewhere thinking he put it in his wallet to take to the bank. It did not turn up in his wallet and no one knows where it is. My pride would hate to have to call them to tell them to sto payment on the check because it is from people we do not speak to.

update: Lost the check-my husband thinks it fell out of his wallet while he was out and he felt very bad. He told me to call as not to take any chances that it falls into someone else's hands. This prompted a long overdue communication I think because our prayers do not go unanswered, just not always answered the way we think they should and St. Anthony has been pretty good to the Sleepy Mommies.

Now if giving virtual high fives over geek quizzes isn't geeky, I don't know what is.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

"why did you draw pictures on Nana and Boompa's walls? You know you are not supposed to do that?"
"Oh, I'm so sorry...I...I...I..."
"Yes?"
"Well, I had to use the walls because nobody got me some paper!"

Please forgive my lateness on this, but I had to highlight Mr.Cella's blog on GK Chesterton on birth control.It was too good.
Thank you Jeff "Ain't No Season's Greetings Here" Culbreath for the heads up.

My husband purchased tickets to take Rosey Posey to the Hilary Duff concert January 24. He put them someplace and cannot remember where-which is more like me not at all like him.
They were a bit more money than we would like to see lost...And he is very upset because he never loses things.
Update: You guys are good! Thank you St. Anthony! I found the tickets on the windowsill in plain view. They were not there before!

I wake up each morning to see my kids dressed, the place clean, to prepare breakfast in a timely fashion and to an uneventful school day-not.
In reality I am seriously stressing out because I cannot seem to get anything done at all. Baby Fredegar likes to be held. I can't blame him, he is so small and needs me, and frankly I like holding him. But it's like I get 2 minutes here and 2 minutes there to get breakfast done, to cook, to clean the bathroom, to feed the cats, etc. Polo is working long Christmas hours which adds to the problem. The two older kids help, but they do it in that kid way. I don't want to say "half assed" because they do their best, but it is never how I would do it. The other thing that drives me nuts is the older kids use the fact that stuff needs to be done as an opportunity to order the younger ones around. I spend a lot of time wondering if I put too much on their shoulders, which in reflection, I don't think so. I know a major part of my problem is I am kind of OCD and I'm a little more stressed about the state of my home than I really should be considering how old Baby Fredegar. But also, since we had the new baby, I was so blase"oh sure, another baby, I can handle that..." like it was no big deal, being this Catholic, open to life, cooking from scratch, attachment parenting, homeschooling Supermom and all that I like to envision myself as, I never stopped to think how much of an illusion that is without at least bit of practice with each new addition. I need to reformulate my new routines and I really need to reformulate the kids routines before I throw them all out.

Then I need to take a break somehow-this weekend, get a grip, and eat more chocolate.

I'm also stressing because I'm seeing my grandmother for Christmas-which I'm looking forward to, but she is starting on about how I am small and I need to make sure I control my weight. Gosh, can't I wait until after Christmas because I needmy chocolate? I'll let you in on a secret, my mother gave me a bag of mini-Twix bars for my birthday and I'm not sharing them with the kids.

Pansy: Rosey Posey, why are your feet naked?
Rosey Posey:They are not naked, they are simply uncovered.
Pansy: Well, where aare your socks?
Pansy was wondering because a. it's cold and b. if her socks are not on her feet, then they are probably strewn about somewhere...
Rosey Posey: Oh, they got wet, so they are on the stove getting warm.
Pansy: Oh, but aren't your feet cold?
Rosey Posey: Well, no! They are just...unwarm!

I had my 6 week checkup yesterday. My midwife said I lost 20 pounds, which was "very good". She said the rest of the weight should nurse right off. I hope so because I am not as happy.

She also apologized profusely about the birth and she hopes they will change the protocol about waterbirth for insulin dependent and VBAC mothers. I told her it didn't bother me, but that would be a really great change.

There is always this really weird feeling about not being pregnant anymore and closing the door on that life chapter. On the one hand I am so thankful I am not pregnant anymore, that I can breathe easy and get around. On the other hand, there is always a feeling of slight sadness that the pregnancy is over. What is that? I guess because that person will never be that close to you again...

are so kind. We were visiting my mother yesterday and when we came home there were two wagon tracks in the snow. Not unusual because my Amish neighbors use our phone. They left a casserole for us by the phone.

That was just so sweet. It is also a big comparison to the neighbors who used to just stare at us through their windows in Albany.

*Thanks to Jane for the article*

Addicted to HPT's
(Home Pregnancy Test)©

By Karen Squires

If you laughed at this title, this article may be for you. HPT means Home Pregnancy Test and they are without a doubt, addictive. Alcoholics try to hide their addiction, so do women addicted HPT's. I know because I'm one of them.

I found HPT's at the dollar store for, you guessed it, a dollar. I was so excited. I only grabbed one test the first time I saw them. I ran home and used it right away. I got a BFN (Big Fat Negative). Of course I was only 7 days after ovulation so what could I expect.

The next day, after lying to my husband and telling him that I needed to run and get some shampoo, I was back at the dollar store for more. I bought five this time, figuring that if I ran one a day I would have enough to last until 12 days after ovulation. I always get a positive by 11 days after ovulation so I had enough to see if I had a baby in me this cycle. Two days later I had used them all up and was back at the store needing more shampoo. I bought another five tests. I was now 10 days after ovulation. Five more would last me until my next cycle started, which I hoped wouldn't come.

As I drove home I tried desperately to remember when I had gone to the bathroom last. I needed to hold my urine for at least 4 hours to let the pregnancy hormone build up. I remembered that it had only been about one and 1/2 hours. It was now 10:00 am, I'll have to wait until 12:30pm. I told myself that when I got home I'd do the dishes, vacuum, dust, paint the bathroom, anything to keep my mind off of running the test. I pulled in the driveway, ran straight to the bathroom, and peed in a cup. Another BFN. Dang it. I have no self control. I'll have to start all over again.

It's now 11 am. I have to hold my urine until 3 pm to let the hormone (if there is any) build up again. At 1:30 pm I run another test. BFN! Dang it all to heck! What is my problem. And I get frustrated at my kids not having any patience.

I decide to go to the mall to make sure that I can't run another test for a few hours. I am tempted to take a test with me to use at the bathroom in the mall just in case I can't control myself but I remember that I'll have my five year old with me which would make it hard to run a test there. Off to the mall I go having made it out the door without a test hidden in my purse.

I have now gone most of the day with out drinking as I don't want to dilute my urine and make what might be a BFP(Big Fat Positive) turn into a BFN by having too much water in my bladder. I am thirsty, frustrated and getting crabbier and crabbier by the minute.

We walk around the mall, me trying to get a peak at the baby and maternity things, but a five year old has no need for those so I don't even get a fix by doing that. Two hours later we are bored and my son is begging to come home and eat. I look at my watch. I can't go home yet, I just can't. I tell my son that I'll buy him something to eat, get him a toy, anything to stay there a little longer. He sees the desperation in my eyes and agrees to let me buy him a Hot Wheels car and some chicken strips. That uses up another hour. Soon he wants to go home again and no amount of bribing works this time. It's only been three hours now so I take the long way home. I keep hearing a little voice from the back seat telling me that I've gone the wrong way and a tiny finger points to the east telling me to turn that way NOW!

Okay, Okay, we'll go home.

It's been three and 1/2 hours and I'm so thirsty that I can hardly swallow. We pull into the driveway, I run into the house, down the hall to the bathroom, and run another test. Another BFN!!! Dang it! Dang it! Dang it all to HECK! Grrrr.

I had ran the rest of the tests by the next day at noon and since it was now 11 days after ovulation and I still hadn't got my BFP I knew that Aunt Flo and her dog spot would find me soon. On to the next cycle. I am going to have more self control next time.

A few days later I really do need some shampoo and tell dear hubby that I need to run and get some. He gives me a funny look and asks "Didn't you just get some a few days ago?"

I walk into the dollar store knowing that I'm safe from my addiction for another two weeks but as I walk past the HPT's to the shampoo I notice that they only have 20 tests left. I panic. What if they are all gone in two weeks, what will I do, where will I go. I grab all 20 tests and head to the cash register, kicking myself all the way there. When I get home I find a good place to hide them, way in the back of the closet.

My husband calls from the shower and asks me for the shampoo. I'm still in the process of hiding the tests and I call back to him, my mind still in an addictive fog, "Shampoo! What shampoo?"

You are free to publish this article on websites and print publications. You can also email it to friends and/or associates. We just ask that you include this information with the article and let us know where you published it. This article first appeared in The Wise Mother magazine, published in Salt Lake City, Utah. http://www.thewisemother.com email thewisemother@yahoo.com

Cuz I cannot figure out why anyone would get this for their toddler, or why there is such a fashion trend these days.

Thanks to Patty for the link.